Re: The Final One (F1) - Bachelorette 9 - Spoilers - Thread #3

[SueSt]

Just wanted to post that this may be my favorite F3 ever.  Each guy, while different, is really, really special.  Truly believe Des would be lucky to wind up with any of the remaining men.

Still, at this point in the show, I would choose Chris or Drew for Des.  Chris and Drew have stated openly that they are falling for her and are there for her.  She’s said repeatedly that her MO is to love the guy more than he loves her, so this is a big issue for her (was for me too).  I believe both Chris and Drew - that they would love her without hesitation or reservation.  I think the video of her crying in the red dress will likely be very significant.  Probably willing to wager, whoever she’s crying about will be her F1.

Spoilers aside, at this point in the show, and in spite of what Des has declared, I think the worst choice for her would be Brooks.  Don’t misunderstand, I think Brooks is a great guy, and within the parameters of the show, also feel he is totally reasonable to want to proceed slowly to be sure of his feelings, etc… But for Des to throw herself into the relationship where there is such a disparity of feelings (and yes, I’ve done this too) in my experience, is a recipe for disaster.

Of course, the most important and seemingly dramatic stuff is yet to come… so we’ll just have to sit and wait for more information.    Can’t wait!!!!

I don't think there's a " disparity" between Des and Brooks. He said jogging she said running . He's only a step or so behind. I think the real disparity is her feelings towards the other two. I think that gap is bigger. Should she settle then if that was the case?

Definitely not settle; that's also recipe for disaster.  My personal experience has been that true love only came when I was willing to open my heart and see the true beauty in someone I might have rejected for a number of 'logical' reasons earlier in my life.  So of course, this is my experience and POV... I personally see 'Brooks is just not that into her....'  So the story can proceed in one of a number of ways, including.  1. Brooks will step up to the plate, declare his love and they will live happily ever after 2. Brooks will not step up to the plate and she will recognize that Chris/Drew offers her what she really needs or 3. Brooks will not step up to the plate and she will walk away alone.  Again, spoilers aside, we'll just have to wait and see...

Brooks said, sometimes you're past like but not quite at love YET. He also mentioned Des meeting his family will decide if he decides to run. In Madeira, he was trying to line up his ducks in a row. Brooks does not seem impulsive like that. Take too , Michael's interview. First, it's not about fear of committing I know that's not your reasoning but just to make this apparent. ...
Did you think the remaining four guys were ready to settle down?
"I was a little bit older than some of these guys in the house... I was so impressed with the maturity of these guys, because I know quite honestly that when I was 27 and 28 years old, I was not ready to get married. Even if I thought I was, I was probably delusional. But I do think that these guys uniquely believe that they are ready to make that commitment and to take that step. And it's not just with anyone - with someone that they would want to spend the rest of their lives with. I will tell you I got no inkling or no red flags whatsoever from any of the remaining four guys. None whatsoever."


Then look at what he said about Brooks...
There's also a lot of depth to him. He's very deep and very sort of insightful and thoughtful about what matters most in life.

Brooks is just not approaching this the same way as Chris and Drew. Not the norm. Doesn't make him disinterested, just more thoughtful before he says ILY. When and I say when his feelings align with Des' it will be special . Sometimes you don't realize that all the feelings you've had all along have amounted to love because it can catch you by surprise.

Thank you Sue for opening up this discussion.

:-) thanks for your thoughtful response!!

[BarbB222]

Just wanted to post that this may be my favorite F3 ever.  Each guy, while different, is really, really special.  Truly believe Des would be lucky to wind up with any of the remaining men.

Still, at this point in the show, I would choose Chris or Drew for Des.  Chris and Drew have stated openly that they are falling for her and are there for her.  She’s said repeatedly that her MO is to love the guy more than he loves her, so this is a big issue for her (was for me too).  I believe both Chris and Drew - that they would love her without hesitation or reservation.  I think the video of her crying in the red dress will likely be very significant.  Probably willing to wager, whoever she’s crying about will be her F1.

Spoilers aside, at this point in the show, and in spite of what Des has declared, I think the worst choice for her would be Brooks.  Don’t misunderstand, I think Brooks is a great guy, and within the parameters of the show, also feel he is totally reasonable to want to proceed slowly to be sure of his feelings, etc… But for Des to throw herself into the relationship where there is such a disparity of feelings (and yes, I’ve done this too) in my experience, is a recipe for disaster.

Of course, the most important and seemingly dramatic stuff is yet to come… so we’ll just have to sit and wait for more information.    Can’t wait!!!!

I don't think there's a " disparity" between Des and Brooks. He said jogging she said running . He's only a step or so behind. I think the real disparity is her feelings towards the other two. I think that gap is bigger. Should she settle then if that was the case?

Definitely not settle; that's also recipe for disaster.  My personal experience has been that true love only came when I was willing to open my heart and see the true beauty in someone I might have rejected for a number of 'logical' reasons earlier in my life.  So of course, this is my experience and POV... I personally see 'Brooks is just not that into her....'  So the story can proceed in one of a number of ways, including.  1. Brooks will step up to the plate, declare his love and they will live happily ever after 2. Brooks will not step up to the plate and she will recognize that Chris/Drew offers her what she really needs or 3. Brooks will not step up to the plate and she will walk away alone.  Again, spoilers aside, we'll just have to wait and see...

Brooks said, sometimes you're past like but not quite at love YET. He also mentioned Des meeting his family will decide if he decides to run. In Madeira, he was trying to line up his ducks in a row. Brooks does not seem impulsive like that. Take too , Michael's interview. First, it's not about fear of committing I know that's not your reasoning but just to make this apparent. ...
Did you think the remaining four guys were ready to settle down?
"I was a little bit older than some of these guys in the house... I was so impressed with the maturity of these guys, because I know quite honestly that when I was 27 and 28 years old, I was not ready to get married. Even if I thought I was, I was probably delusional. But I do think that these guys uniquely believe that they are ready to make that commitment and to take that step. And it's not just with anyone - with someone that they would want to spend the rest of their lives with. I will tell you I got no inkling or no red flags whatsoever from any of the remaining four guys. None whatsoever."


Then look at what he said about Brooks...
There's also a lot of depth to him. He's very deep and very sort of insightful and thoughtful about what matters most in life.

Brooks is just not approaching this the same way as Chris and Drew. Not the norm. Doesn't make him disinterested, just more thoughtful before he says ILY. When and I say when his feelings align with Des' it will be special . Sometimes you don't realize that all the feelings you've had all along have amounted to love because it can catch you by surprise.

Thank you Sue for opening up this discussion.

:-) thanks for your thoughtful response!!

[Guest]

I stick by what I say.

[Muslady]

I'm starting to think slow and steady gets the girl.

[SueSt]

I'm starting to think slow and steady gets the girl.

Hmmmmm... what are you thinking???

[BarbB222]

I'm starting to think slow and steady gets the girl.

True but I think slow in TB process can cause hiccups in the relationship especially if a proposal is expected. But with slow, if a proposal was made it won't be driven strictly by emotion . It was worked out in the mind as well.

[SueSt]

I'm starting to think slow and steady gets the girl.

True but I think slow in TB process can cause hiccups in the relationship especially if a proposal is expected. But with slow, if a proposal was made it won't be driven strictly by emotion . It was worked out in the mind as well.

good point Barb!

[nannymargie]

I'm starting to think slow and steady gets the girl.

True but I think slow in TB process can cause hiccups in the relationship especially if a proposal is expected. But with slow, if a proposal was made it won't be driven strictly by emotion . It was worked out in the mind as well.

Hey Barb, can I just follow you around and agree with what you say?  We seem to be on the same page on our views and thinking.

   

And for in case no one noticed IT'S MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[BarbB222]

I'm starting to think slow and steady gets the girl.

True but I think slow in TB process can cause hiccups in the relationship especially if a proposal is expected. But with slow, if a proposal was made it won't be driven strictly by emotion . It was worked out in the mind as well.

Hey Barb, can I just follow you around and agree with what you say?  We seem to be on the same page on our views and thinking.

   

And for in case no one noticed IT'S MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol Nanny ! I read everything you say too and go:thumbs up: 

[Muslady]

I'm starting to think slow and steady gets the girl.

Hmmmmm... what are you thinking???

Not sure really, but it is one scenario that hasn't happened and it could be either Chris or Drew, sort of. Looks like Drew will not be totally steady in upcoming episodes but he certainly was slow starting. It also fits with what she needs.

[Guest]

I'm starting to think slow and steady gets the girl.

True but I think slow in TB process can cause hiccups in the relationship especially if a proposal is expected. But with slow, if a proposal was made it won't be driven strictly by emotion . It was worked out in the mind as well.

Hey Barb, can I just follow you around and agree with what you say?  We seem to be on the same page on our views and thinking.

   

And for in case no one noticed IT'S MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, I noticed! :Woah-hoo: :Woah-hoo: 

I agree Barb. It's a lot of pressure on Brooks to have to come up with a proposal so quickly. Doesn't mean he isn't falling for Des, and I think, so far, Des had been recognizing that; that the process is hard, and unique. So, he's going to go through this turmoil to try to figure it out. I know for a fact that people who do a lot of thinking take longer to accept/understand and in some cases they fight against their hearts. So, I think he will struggle, he is struggling, but he also loves her.

As he said, and I believe this is what he meant: Everything's good when he is just hanging out with Des (like you see in the date preview); but when he's on his own, that's when it's hard. When he's on his own he has time to THINK. You can see him thinking when he's listening to his sister.

I LOVE that he's a thinker, frankly. It's so cute and sexy! I'd want a thinker to fall in love with me. You know that it would be deep and true. He has a heart. He just doesn't know for sure what it's saying at this time. Something like almost losing Des can jog it out of him.

[SueSt]

I'm starting to think slow and steady gets the girl.

Hmmmmm... what are you thinking???

Not sure really, but it is one scenario that hasn't happened and it could be either Chris or Drew, sort of.  Looks like Drew will not be totally steady in upcoming episodes but he certainly was slow starting.  It also fits with what she needs.

thanks! I'm leaning towards Chris or Drew too.

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