The Final One (F1) - Bachelorette 9 - Spoilers - Discussion

Ariela wrote:

draven31 wrote:

Ariela wrote:

Goldie, I'm disappointed....because I totally enjoy analyzing and equal opportunity bashing of the contestants. I do the opposite of what the fangirlies do,  I pick apart their "perceived" issues.

And therein lays the problem.  I've always had a problem with outright bashing.  Now snark on the other hand has always been accepted.

YMMV but I always use the "would I say this to a persons face?" method of snark. I tease my friends , they tease me. I try not to be over the top. Some are uncomfortable with bashing cause we sometimes get family/friends of the cast in here.  Happens every season.  

You call it snark, I call it bashing- semantics.
If you criticize their behavior, fangirls get upset and call you a hater. Some don't have a sense of humor, and start fights.

In analyzing their behavior, I enjoy giving 5 sides to an observation. I don't pick a winner, and I don't get  into fantasy....At the end of the day, it's all good.[/b][/b]

LLiza wrote:

Ariela wrote:

draven31 wrote:

Ariela wrote:

Goldie, I'm disappointed....because I totally enjoy analyzing and equal opportunity bashing of the contestants. I do the opposite of what the fangirlies do,  I pick apart their "perceived" issues.

And therein lays the problem.  I've always had a problem with outright bashing.  Now snark on the other hand has always been accepted.

YMMV but I always use the "would I say this to a persons face?" method of snark. I tease my friends , they tease me. I try not to be over the top. Some are uncomfortable with bashing cause we sometimes get family/friends of the cast in here.  Happens every season.  

You call it snark, I call it bashing- semantics.
If you criticize their behavior, fangirls get upset and call you a hater. Some don't have a sense of humor, and start fights.

In analyzing their behavior, I enjoy giving 5 sides to an observation. I don't pick a winner, and I don't get  into fantasy....At the end of the day, it's all good.

Similarly, draven, I watch the show with a "would I put up with this in real life?" stance.  I wouldn't put up with a loser with a supposed girlfriend at home.  I wouldn't put up with some meathead who just wants to be the next bachelor.  I would put up with an uncomfortable 'adjustment' from a guy's chiropractic father if it made my body feel better and if I respected the guy.  I would put up with (and appreciate) guys snarking to me about others who were not 'there for the right reasons'.  I might put up with wimpy guys for a while until I figured out if they were straight or not.  But, I would NOT put up with a guy who told me that he didn't love me, would never love me, and doesn't feel anything for me when we are apart...not even if I thought that I loved him (after a couple weeks - ) and not even if I were desperate to get engaged and he was guilted into returning.

If I wouldn't allow something here in real life, I feel free to state that...and I don't consider that to be bashing nor snarking.

Piper61 wrote:Is this not a discussion thread? The F1 Spoilers Discussion thread?

Why do we have to classify people as fangirly, haters, realists, sleuthers in these discussions?  Why not just skip over something that you might not agree with and don't feel like discussing if it's going to lead to labeling or on a downward spiral?


We don't share the same opinions all of the time, and we don't view things the same way.  Offering up a different point of view, and standing firm with it is discussing/expressing.  I try to be polite, and if it doesn't come across as polite then I regret that.  But at times it feels like there is a type of bullying that goes on.

In this thread, is discussing the spoilers for F1 and voicing excitement over that not allowed or acceptable discussion?  Is snarking, bashing, and being negative or whatever someone wants to call it the only acceptable forms of expression here?

LLiza wrote:

Ariela wrote:

draven31 wrote:

Ariela wrote:

Goldie, I'm disappointed....because I totally enjoy analyzing and equal opportunity bashing of the contestants. I do the opposite of what the fangirlies do,  I pick apart their "perceived" issues.

And therein lays the problem.  I've always had a problem with outright bashing.  Now snark on the other hand has always been accepted.

YMMV but I always use the "would I say this to a persons face?" method of snark. I tease my friends , they tease me. I try not to be over the top. Some are uncomfortable with bashing cause we sometimes get family/friends of the cast in here.  Happens every season.  

You call it snark, I call it bashing- semantics.
If you criticize their behavior, fangirls get upset and call you a hater. Some don't have a sense of humor, and start fights.

In analyzing their behavior, I enjoy giving 5 sides to an observation. I don't pick a winner, and I don't get  into fantasy....At the end of the day, it's all good.

Similarly, draven, I watch the show with a "would I put up with this in real life?" stance.  I wouldn't put up with a loser with a supposed girlfriend at home.  I wouldn't put up with some meathead who just wants to be the next bachelor.  I would put up with an uncomfortable 'adjustment' from a guy's chiropractic father if it made my body feel better and if I respected the guy.  I would put up with (and appreciate) guys snarking to me about others who were not 'there for the right reasons'.  I might put up with wimpy guys for a while until I figured out if they were straight or not.  But, I would NOT put up with a guy who told me that he didn't love me, would never love me, and doesn't feel anything for me when we are apart...not even if I thought that I loved him (after a couple weeks - ) and not even if I were desperate to get engaged and he was guilted into returning.

If I wouldn't allow something here in real life, I feel free to state that...and I don't consider that to be bashing nor snarking.[/quote]

LLiza,
ITA.
I think that many of us have dated A LOT, and have had similar experiences, or have had friends, relatives with similar love issues. I find it fascinating how in this environment MF is able to throw everyone in and turn the blender on (). The multitude of personalities and issues everyone brings to this show is a fantastic psychology lesson. Hey, if anyone enjoys watching this show for fantasy reasons, good for them. I enjoy a good, in depth  debate about peoples' psyche. Even in real life WE always know what's better for someone else, but not ourselves.  

On another note (this really happened without producer manipulation, I believe), during the MTA  Des used Drew's line and said to James : you don't think about your second wife while you're still with the first one. I think he answered...well you were dating 25 other guys.
THE IRONY- Des told Brooks (when he was dumping her) that basically while she was going out with the other guys SHE WAS THINKING ABOUT BROOKS. So you see how these people are disrespecting each other on TV? I think that was a RAW statement from Des' mouth. I don't think that was scripted. I'm sure Chris & Drew will have something to say on ATFR about that type of relationship.
Personally, I wouldn't want someone to tell me they weren't feelin it, no matter if they came back begging on their knees, cuz I know better. Just like I wouldn't care to hear Des saying that her mind was on another guy while out on a date with me. Just plain YUCK.

Goldie2 wrote:

Jeepers wrote:Unless it is brand new .. There is no F3 contract

It's not brand new - It started after Brad's season when he was the Bach the first time and chose no one . this measure was put in place to guarantee a proposal at the end .
The final 3 guys have to sign saying they'll propose - happens right after HTD's when they get back they have to sign it.

Jeepers wrote:

Goldie2 wrote:

Jeepers wrote:Unless it is brand new .. There is no F3 contract

It's not brand new - It started after Brad's season when he was the Bach the first time and chose no one . this measure was put in place to guarantee a proposal at the end .
The final 3 guys have to sign saying they'll propose - happens right after HTD's when they get back they have to sign it.

As I said.......

Ariela wrote:

Piper61 wrote:Is this not a discussion thread? The F1 Spoilers Discussion thread?

Why do we have to classify people as fangirly, haters, realists, sleuthers in these discussions?  Why not just skip over something that you might not agree with and don't feel like discussing if it's going to lead to labeling or on a downward spiral?


We don't share the same opinions all of the time, and we don't view things the same way.  Offering up a different point of view, and standing firm with it is discussing/expressing.  I try to be polite, and if it doesn't come across as polite then I regret that.  But at times it feels like there is a type of bullying that goes on.

In this thread, is discussing the spoilers for F1 and voicing excitement over that not allowed or acceptable discussion?  Is snarking, bashing, and being negative or whatever someone wants to call it the only acceptable forms of expression here?

And you're picking a fight because.....?


I find it easier to state or analyze my point of view without worrying what others think about me.

tennischick80 wrote:I think she goes on a LCD with Chris- because we haven't seen the manta ray date yet. She looks like she is having a blast - so Chris probably was a buffer after Brooks left. However, I do think Brooks comes back before Drew's date, and Des tries to let Drew down easy on the beach. I believe Chris picks out a ring. If she chooses Brooks who doesn't propose (because if by coming back, he works out an agreement with MF and the producers, amending the F3 clause that states he doesn't have to propose), and subsequently she rejects Chris after being won back over by Brooks (who we have seen crying in a limo wearing a suit), that means she isn't getting engaged just because "it feels good and is exciting". She will get engaged when the time is right because she wants to be with Brooks, whatever form that takes on. I feel AWFUL for Chris and Drew if this is the case. It's not all Des' fault- I blame the show and MF for making the leads string the contestants along. I would watch Des picking Brooks in Medeira, cameras following them back home over the period of a couple months as they date long distance (as many couples do). I don't need fancy shmancy, exorbitant dates to be entertained. They could be cozying up on a couch, watching a movie, snuggling and I'd watch. They could fight or get annoyed with each other-- NO SCRIPTS. That way Chris & Drew wouldn't be carried away and given the time to fall in love with Des at all- therefore, no feelings of rejection. Is that stupid?

tennischick80 wrote:I think she goes on a LCD with Chris- because we haven't seen the manta ray date yet. She looks like she is having a blast - so Chris probably was a buffer after Brooks left. However, I do think Brooks comes back before Drew's date, and Des tries to let Drew down easy on the beach. I believe Chris picks out a ring. If she chooses Brooks who doesn't propose (because if by coming back, he works out an agreement with MF and the producers, amending the F3 clause that states he doesn't have to propose), and subsequently she rejects Chris after being won back over by Brooks (who we have seen crying in a limo wearing a suit), that means she isn't getting engaged just because "it feels good and is exciting". She will get engaged when the time is right because she wants to be with Brooks, whatever form that takes on. I feel AWFUL for Chris and Drew if this is the case. It's not all Des' fault- I blame the show and MF for making the leads string the contestants along. I would watch Des picking Brooks in Medeira, cameras following them back home over the period of a couple months as they date long distance (as many couples do). I don't need fancy shmancy, exorbitant dates to be entertained. They could be cozying up on a couch, watching a movie, snuggling and I'd watch. They could fight or get annoyed with each other-- NO SCRIPTS. That way Chris & Drew wouldn't be carried away and given the time to fall in love with Des at all- therefore, no feelings of rejection. Is that stupid?