Re: The Final One (F1) - Bachelorette 9 - Spoilers - Thread #4

[albean99]

I always try to remember that these people are much younger than I am. My life experience has taught me a lot, the hard way! So it's easy for me to see what is going on and the warning signs for Des and Brooks.   I absolutely agree that if it has to be that complicated and the guy bails and then comes back, it usually doesn't work out.  When it's that difficult and you have to work that hard and someone leaves and then comes back, it's just an indication that it was not meant to be. Now others may see it quite differently.  The other argument could be that if they can surmount these obstacles, then it will stand the test of time.  But given how quickly everything happens on this show and how difficult it is to really know each other in a compressed period of time, then I do think this kind of struggle is indicative of a relationship that won't make it in the long term.  

Native, ITA.  I'm also older and in younger days felt like the struggle proved that you had feelings for each other ... and it was worth fighting for.  But experience taught me that just the opposite is true.  Having been there, done that, I can now see that when it's right, there is no struggle; it's just easy.  No fear, no hesitation, just trust and love.

No more speculation on how the next few episodes play out as I have been wrong on so many guesses. However, I will speak to what I KNOW. I disagree with the above. I dated my husband for a year when he suddenly decided he wasn't ready for a relationship. I cried my eyes out for two days when he came back with a letter saying he was wrong (he even quoted the poem about letting a butterfly go and if it comes back it was meant to be.). We have now been married 34 years. And we still love each other like crazy and he is the most loyal, attentive, loving husband anyone could ever imagine.

Just a note for the younger folks so that they do not assume a few days of hesitation means it is over!

Thanks for sharing your great story. It's hard to know if this will be the same however because you & your husband had a year invested at that time.

Sources are tough because it seems like mostly they're known only by emails. Are they or are they not legit? If they've used them in the past there's got to be more weight on what they're saying. I'm sure RS has seen photos in the past which is why he's so certain and maybe this time as well.

Like that thanksgiving photograph of Chantal and Brad right ?  

 

[MaggieBach]

[quote="albean99"]

I always try to remember that these people are much younger than I am. My life experience has taught me a lot, the hard way! So it's easy for me to see what is going on and the warning signs for Des and Brooks.   I absolutely agree that if it has to be that complicated and the guy bails and then comes back, it usually doesn't work out.  When it's that difficult and you have to work that hard and someone leaves and then comes back, it's just an indication that it was not meant to be. Now others may see it quite differently.  The other argument could be that if they can surmount these obstacles, then it will stand the test of time.  But given how quickly everything happens on this show and how difficult it is to really know each other in a compressed period of time, then I do think this kind of struggle is indicative of a relationship that won't make it in the long term.  

Native, ITA.  I'm also older and in younger days felt like the struggle proved that you had feelings for each other ... and it was worth fighting for.  But experience taught me that just the opposite is true.  Having been there, done that, I can now see that when it's right, there is no struggle; it's just easy.  No fear, no hesitation, just trust and love.

No more speculation on how the next few episodes play out as I have been wrong on so many guesses. However, I will speak to what I KNOW. I disagree with the above. I dated my husband for a year when he suddenly decided he wasn't ready for a relationship. I cried my eyes out for two days when he came back with a letter saying he was wrong (he even quoted the poem about letting a butterfly go and if it comes back it was meant to be.). We have now been married 34 years. And we still love each other like crazy and he is the most loyal, attentive, loving husband anyone could ever imagine.

Just a note for the younger folks so that they do not assume a few days of hesitation means it is over!

Thanks for sharing your great story. It's hard to know if this will be the same however because you & your husband had a year invested at that time.

I agree that we have no idea what will happen with Des and Brooks in the future. I think every relationship is different and all paths to love are possible.

I think one of the reasons that I have watched this show every season (except DeAnna's) is that I believe in Love at First sight. Folks say how can you get engaged after 10 weeks. I would have. I knew after the first time I talked to my husband that I was going to marry him. (He will admit he didn't!). I can't explain it. I think Brooks' sister summed it up by saying that eventually you realize you can't be without the other person and I think that is what my husband realized. (I think that was what his sister said?)

[2observe]

I know one thing and that is Des will have one helleva time explaining to both Chris and Drew why she continued with them when she knew that she was already in love with Brooks.

[LLiza]

I know one thing and that is Des will have one helleva time explaining to both Chris and Drew why she continued with them when she knew that she was already in love with Brooks.

Totally true!! Add into that equation the families who welcomed her into their homes....and the towns who allowed them to film. It's different if she is still in question about her choice, but IF she knew from the beginning AND (as it seems) she was completely clear about her feelings in chats with CH, then this is one ugly and nasty show.

[2observe]

I always try to remember that these people are much younger than I am. My life experience has taught me a lot, the hard way! So it's easy for me to see what is going on and the warning signs for Des and Brooks.   I absolutely agree that if it has to be that complicated and the guy bails and then comes back, it usually doesn't work out.  When it's that difficult and you have to work that hard and someone leaves and then comes back, it's just an indication that it was not meant to be. Now others may see it quite differently.  The other argument could be that if they can surmount these obstacles, then it will stand the test of time.  But given how quickly everything happens on this show and how difficult it is to really know each other in a compressed period of time, then I do think this kind of struggle is indicative of a relationship that won't make it in the long term.  

Native, ITA.  I'm also older and in younger days felt like the struggle proved that you had feelings for each other ... and it was worth fighting for.  But experience taught me that just the opposite is true.  Having been there, done that, I can now see that when it's right, there is no struggle; it's just easy.  No fear, no hesitation, just trust and love.

I agree. Life is hard enough on a day to day basis. When you used to take the vows it meant something--in sickness and health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer. You dealt with it. You worked it through.
Now it seems the attitude is hit the road Jack.

Amen to that.  There's too much that life puts in our path that is challenging.... Your relationship shouldn't be a challenge; rather it should be your safe place, a place of unconditional trust and love.  And in spite of that marriage is hard... but it can't end well... starting with conflict...

I'm really surprised that Brooks has problems being away from Des. Didn't he know what he signed up for???? He knew that Des was going to date other guys and could have very strong feelings for other guys because the producers tell them all of that at the beginning. So the fact that it's great when Des is with him and when she's not he falls apart shows signs of being insecure. Both Chris and Drew have expressed to Des their feelings and they also know that Des is seeing other guys and can have deep feelings for them, but they are not jumping ship. As I have stated several times before, it would have made more sense for Brooks to take the alone time in the Fantasy suite to talk about his feelings. So to me, there's no excuse for Brooks leaving if he was truly in love with Des. jmo

[SueSt]

I always try to remember that these people are much younger than I am. My life experience has taught me a lot, the hard way! So it's easy for me to see what is going on and the warning signs for Des and Brooks.   I absolutely agree that if it has to be that complicated and the guy bails and then comes back, it usually doesn't work out.  When it's that difficult and you have to work that hard and someone leaves and then comes back, it's just an indication that it was not meant to be. Now others may see it quite differently.  The other argument could be that if they can surmount these obstacles, then it will stand the test of time.  But given how quickly everything happens on this show and how difficult it is to really know each other in a compressed period of time, then I do think this kind of struggle is indicative of a relationship that won't make it in the long term.  

Native, ITA.  I'm also older and in younger days felt like the struggle proved that you had feelings for each other ... and it was worth fighting for.  But experience taught me that just the opposite is true.  Having been there, done that, I can now see that when it's right, there is no struggle; it's just easy.  No fear, no hesitation, just trust and love.

I agree. Life is hard enough on a day to day basis. When you used to take the vows it meant something--in sickness and health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer. You dealt with it. You worked it through.
Now it seems the attitude is hit the road Jack.

Amen to that.  There's too much that life puts in our path that is challenging.... Your relationship shouldn't be a challenge; rather it should be your safe place, a place of unconditional trust and love.  And in spite of that marriage is hard... but it can't end well... starting with conflict...

I'm really surprised that Brooks has problems being away from Des.  Didn't he know what he signed up for????  He knew that Des was going to date other guys and could have very strong feelings for other guys because the producers tell them all of that at the beginning.  So the fact that it's great when Des is with him and when she's not he falls apart shows signs of being insecure.  Both Chris and Drew have expressed to Des their feelings and they also know that Des is seeing other guys and can have deep feelings for them, but they are not jumping ship.  As I have stated several times before, it would have made more sense for Brooks to take the alone time in the Fantasy suite to talk about his feelings.  So to me, there's no excuse for Brooks leaving if he was truly in love with Des.  jmo

So true, 2observe.

[nd4reality]

I always try to remember that these people are much younger than I am. My life experience has taught me a lot, the hard way! So it's easy for me to see what is going on and the warning signs for Des and Brooks.   I absolutely agree that if it has to be that complicated and the guy bails and then comes back, it usually doesn't work out.  When it's that difficult and you have to work that hard and someone leaves and then comes back, it's just an indication that it was not meant to be. Now others may see it quite differently.  The other argument could be that if they can surmount these obstacles, then it will stand the test of time.  But given how quickly everything happens on this show and how difficult it is to really know each other in a compressed period of time, then I do think this kind of struggle is indicative of a relationship that won't make it in the long term.  

Native, ITA.  I'm also older and in younger days felt like the struggle proved that you had feelings for each other ... and it was worth fighting for.  But experience taught me that just the opposite is true.  Having been there, done that, I can now see that when it's right, there is no struggle; it's just easy.  No fear, no hesitation, just trust and love.

I agree. Life is hard enough on a day to day basis. When you used to take the vows it meant something--in sickness and health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer. You dealt with it. You worked it through.
Now it seems the attitude is hit the road Jack.

Amen to that.  There's too much that life puts in our path that is challenging.... Your relationship shouldn't be a challenge; rather it should be your safe place, a place of unconditional trust and love.  And in spite of that marriage is hard... but it can't end well... starting with conflict...

I'm really surprised that Brooks has problems being away from Des.  Didn't he know what he signed up for????  He knew that Des was going to date other guys and could have very strong feelings for other guys because the producers tell them all of that at the beginning.  So the fact that it's great when Des is with him and when she's not he falls apart shows signs of being insecure.  Both Chris and Drew have expressed to Des their feelings and they also know that Des is seeing other guys and can have deep feelings for them, but they are not jumping ship.  As I have stated several times before, it would have made more sense for Brooks to take the alone time in the Fantasy suite to talk about his feelings.  So to me, there's no excuse for Brooks leaving if he was truly in love with Des.  jmo

Which makes me consider even more than previously that we will see that it was not Brooks who left. Yes he went talk to her about his hesitations and hopefully reasons for it but I would hope that it was actually Des that pulled the plug. At least I hope thats who they will show it.
OR I hope while they were talking she herself decided to put the undecided into that limo.
She is indeed going to look like a very sorry lead if not. They did it for DeAnna with Graham leaving. In the end they made it seem like she was the one who pulled the plug when in reality we all know that it was Graham who bailed. They saved her face.

[pander3575]

He may not have meant to leave early in the date and said something not quite the way she expected which caused a major melt down. His intention may have been to go to the overnight to discuss their relationship. Guess we will have to wait to see what really happened.

[bilolo]

I know one thing and that is Des will have one helleva time explaining to both Chris and Drew why she continued with them when she knew that she was already in love with Brooks.

yeah if it's Brooks, i don't envy her at all and i don't know why but i think Chris will be more understanding than Drew

[Kashathediva]

Just some random thoughts:
What if what Brooks meant was: when he is with Des, he is with Des and things are great--and when he's not--well he's not. Like outta sight outta mind. Just a thought.
Another thought. Remember the spoiler we received that Zak was F3 and his FD goes south and he leaves? They have a disagreement and he goes?
WELL--what if we exchange the name Zak with Brooks?
We now know some of those initial spoilers were w r o n g. The final guys positioning has been anything, but correct from the initial spoilers. Drew as F4, F3 and now F2? Zak F3 now F4. Brooks almost always F1 from the opening credit now is a question.
It was so easy for the viewers to accept Zak having a bad FD and being history---maybe this was not Zak all along but Brooks? How would that have effected what the viewers' interpreted this season?
Yes, we see Des saying all those things she says. Kind of shame if they aren't true in the end. This has happened in seasons past only earlier in the season and the viewers pretty much did still buy the contrived fantasy romance in the end. I mean no one bought De really loved Jesse. No one bought M and F were really going to be a couple. (said with great sarcasm and vomiting a small amount of my morning coffee). No one really thought M was going to be a Brad's barmaid in Austin. Most of us believed Jilly was going to wake up and smell the stale beer eventually. And seriously, the only reason I had faith in Ash/JP is I "know" of this couple from various sources.

[Guest]

Just some random thoughts:
What if what Brooks meant was: when he is with Des, he is with Des and things are great--and when he's not--well he's not. Like outta sight outta mind. Just a thought.
Another thought. Remember the spoiler we received that Zak was F3 and his FD goes south and he leaves? They have a disagreement and he goes?
WELL--what if we exchange the name Zak with Brooks?
We now know some of those initial spoilers were w r o n g. The final guys positioning has been anything, but correct from the initial spoilers. Drew as F4, F3 and now F2? Zak F3 now F4. Brooks almost always F1 from the opening credit now is a question.
It was so easy for the viewers to accept Zak having a bad FD and being history---maybe this was not Zak all along but Brooks? How would that have effected what the viewers' interpreted this season?
Yes, we see Des saying all those things she says. Kind of shame if they aren't true in the end. This has happened in seasons past only earlier in the season and the viewers pretty much did still buy the contrived fantasy romance in the end.  I mean no one bought De really loved Jesse. No one bought M and F were really going to be a couple. (said with great sarcasm and vomiting a small amount of my morning coffee). No one really thought M was going to be a Brad's barmaid in Austin. Most of us believed Jilly was going to wake up and smell the stale beer eventually.  And seriously, the only reason I had faith in Ash/JP is I "know" of this couple from various sources.

Not even after we gave him his other F back?

P.S. You forgot Jake and Vienna- they were totes adorbs.

[SueSt]

Just some random thoughts:
What if what Brooks meant was: when he is with Des, he is with Des and things are great--and when he's not--well he's not. Like outta sight outta mind. Just a thought.
Another thought. Remember the spoiler we received that Zak was F3 and his FD goes south and he leaves? They have a disagreement and he goes?
WELL--what if we exchange the name Zak with Brooks?
We now know some of those initial spoilers were w r o n g. The final guys positioning has been anything, but correct from the initial spoilers. Drew as F4, F3 and now F2? Zak F3 now F4. Brooks almost always F1 from the opening credit now is a question.
It was so easy for the viewers to accept Zak having a bad FD and being history---maybe this was not Zak all along but Brooks? How would that have effected what the viewers' interpreted this season?
Yes, we see Des saying all those things she says. Kind of shame if they aren't true in the end. This has happened in seasons past only earlier in the season and the viewers pretty much did still buy the contrived fantasy romance in the end.  I mean no one bought De really loved Jesse. No one bought M and F were really going to be a couple. (said with great sarcasm and vomiting a small amount of my morning coffee). No one really thought M was going to be a Brad's barmaid in Austin. Most of us believed Jilly was going to wake up and smell the stale beer eventually.  And seriously, the only reason I had faith in Ash/JP is I "know" of this couple from various sources.

hahahaha Kasha, so true!

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