Re: The Final One (F1) - Bachelorette 9 - Spoilers - Thread #4

[SueSt]

I always try to remember that these people are much younger than I am. My life experience has taught me a lot, the hard way! So it's easy for me to see what is going on and the warning signs for Des and Brooks.   I absolutely agree that if it has to be that complicated and the guy bails and then comes back, it usually doesn't work out.  When it's that difficult and you have to work that hard and someone leaves and then comes back, it's just an indication that it was not meant to be. Now others may see it quite differently.  The other argument could be that if they can surmount these obstacles, then it will stand the test of time.  But given how quickly everything happens on this show and how difficult it is to really know each other in a compressed period of time, then I do think this kind of struggle is indicative of a relationship that won't make it in the long term.  

Native, ITA. I'm also older and in younger days felt like the struggle proved that you had feelings for each other ... and it was worth fighting for. But experience taught me that just the opposite is true. Having been there, done that, I can now see that when it's right, there is no struggle; it's just easy. No fear, no hesitation, just trust and love.

[gruder]

I always try to remember that these people are much younger than I am. My life experience has taught me a lot, the hard way! So it's easy for me to see what is going on and the warning signs for Des and Brooks.   I absolutely agree that if it has to be that complicated and the guy bails and then comes back, it usually doesn't work out.  When it's that difficult and you have to work that hard and someone leaves and then comes back, it's just an indication that it was not meant to be. Now others may see it quite differently.  The other argument could be that if they can surmount these obstacles, then it will stand the test of time.  But given how quickly everything happens on this show and how difficult it is to really know each other in a compressed period of time, then I do think this kind of struggle is indicative of a relationship that won't make it in the long term.  

Native, ITA.  I'm also older and in younger days felt like the struggle proved that you had feelings for each other ... and it was worth fighting for.  But experience taught me that just the opposite is true.  Having been there, done that, I can now see that when it's right, there is no struggle; it's just easy.  No fear, no hesitation, just trust and love.

I agree. But we don't know what is going on behind the scenes. Des and her F1 may have all the attributes you list to have a successful relationship and marriage. But that is not what they want to show us. For that matter, have they ever???

[Kashathediva]

I always try to remember that these people are much younger than I am. My life experience has taught me a lot, the hard way! So it's easy for me to see what is going on and the warning signs for Des and Brooks.   I absolutely agree that if it has to be that complicated and the guy bails and then comes back, it usually doesn't work out.  When it's that difficult and you have to work that hard and someone leaves and then comes back, it's just an indication that it was not meant to be. Now others may see it quite differently.  The other argument could be that if they can surmount these obstacles, then it will stand the test of time.  But given how quickly everything happens on this show and how difficult it is to really know each other in a compressed period of time, then I do think this kind of struggle is indicative of a relationship that won't make it in the long term.  

Native, ITA.  I'm also older and in younger days felt like the struggle proved that you had feelings for each other ... and it was worth fighting for.  But experience taught me that just the opposite is true.  Having been there, done that, I can now see that when it's right, there is no struggle; it's just easy.  No fear, no hesitation, just trust and love.

I agree. Life is hard enough on a day to day basis. When you used to take the vows it meant something--in sickness and health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer. You dealt with it. You worked it through.
Now it seems the attitude is hit the road Jack.

[Aunties_Love]

I always try to remember that these people are much younger than I am. My life experience has taught me a lot, the hard way! So it's easy for me to see what is going on and the warning signs for Des and Brooks.   I absolutely agree that if it has to be that complicated and the guy bails and then comes back, it usually doesn't work out.  When it's that difficult and you have to work that hard and someone leaves and then comes back, it's just an indication that it was not meant to be. Now others may see it quite differently.  The other argument could be that if they can surmount these obstacles, then it will stand the test of time.  But given how quickly everything happens on this show and how difficult it is to really know each other in a compressed period of time, then I do think this kind of struggle is indicative of a relationship that won't make it in the long term.  

Native, ITA.  I'm also older and in younger days felt like the struggle proved that you had feelings for each other ... and it was worth fighting for.  But experience taught me that just the opposite is true.  Having been there, done that, I can now see that when it's right, there is no struggle; it's just easy.  No fear, no hesitation, just trust and love.

I agree. Life is hard enough on a day to day basis. When you used to take the vows it meant something--in sickness and health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer. You dealt with it. You worked it through.
Now it seems the attitude is hit the road Jack.

ABSOLUTELY! Seems that when things get tough they get going..in separate directions. But when things get tough and someone stands beside you and fights for things, that is true love and that is the one that is right..Not when someone bolts because they don't know what they want or can't make the decision.

[SueSt]

I always try to remember that these people are much younger than I am. My life experience has taught me a lot, the hard way! So it's easy for me to see what is going on and the warning signs for Des and Brooks.   I absolutely agree that if it has to be that complicated and the guy bails and then comes back, it usually doesn't work out.  When it's that difficult and you have to work that hard and someone leaves and then comes back, it's just an indication that it was not meant to be. Now others may see it quite differently.  The other argument could be that if they can surmount these obstacles, then it will stand the test of time.  But given how quickly everything happens on this show and how difficult it is to really know each other in a compressed period of time, then I do think this kind of struggle is indicative of a relationship that won't make it in the long term.  

Native, ITA.  I'm also older and in younger days felt like the struggle proved that you had feelings for each other ... and it was worth fighting for.  But experience taught me that just the opposite is true.  Having been there, done that, I can now see that when it's right, there is no struggle; it's just easy.  No fear, no hesitation, just trust and love.

I agree. Life is hard enough on a day to day basis. When you used to take the vows it meant something--in sickness and health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer. You dealt with it. You worked it through.
Now it seems the attitude is hit the road Jack.

Amen to that.  There's too much that life puts in our path that is challenging.... Your relationship shouldn't be a challenge; rather it should be your safe place, a place of unconditional trust and love.  And in spite of that marriage is hard... but it can't end well... starting with conflict...

[Guest]

Who says it starts with conflict? He just has to lose her to find out he loves her. That's actually quite normal.

[Aunties_Love]

Who says it starts with conflict? He just has to lose her to find out he loves her. That's actually quite normal.

hmmm, I don't really know about that.

[SueSt]

Who says it starts with conflict? He just has to lose her to find out he loves her. That's actually quite normal.

You say potato, I say potahto....

[LLiza]

Who says it starts with conflict? He just has to lose her to find out he loves her. That's actually quite normal.

 
Wait -- so you are telling me that the MTA is taped/shown a week early because the show is on course and there is no conflict??
 
So you are saying that Des' life (apparently) is turned upside down and she is bawling her head off because there is no conflict and all is well??

And the "weird ending" is called weird as opposed to romantic because there is no conflict?
 
Do you believe (and you may) that all of this chaos is truly a joke and Des and Brooks have been madly in love and together since date one and they have taped VOs and scenes of emotional torture just for fun and to lead the storyline for the producers??  And there is no conflict??
 
I guess that is actually quite normal.

[Guest]

Who says it starts with conflict? He just has to lose her to find out he loves her. That's actually quite normal.

Wait -- so you are telling me that the MTA is taped/shown a week early because the show is on course and there is no conflict??

So you are saying that Des' life (apparently) is turned upside down and she is bawling her head off because there is no conflict and all is well??

Do you believe (and you may) that all of this chaos is truly a joke and Des and Brooks have been madly in love and together since date one and they have taped VOs and scenes of emotional torture just for fun and to lead the storyline for the producers??  And there is no conflict??

I guess that is actually quite normal.

What chaos? At this point there hasn't been any. Something happens in Antigua and they mend their ways. Like his brother foreshadowed on his HTD, he'll lose her and discover that he doesn't want to live without her, then he'll fight for her.

[Judiful]

I always try to remember that these people are much younger than I am. My life experience has taught me a lot, the hard way! So it's easy for me to see what is going on and the warning signs for Des and Brooks.   I absolutely agree that if it has to be that complicated and the guy bails and then comes back, it usually doesn't work out.  When it's that difficult and you have to work that hard and someone leaves and then comes back, it's just an indication that it was not meant to be. Now others may see it quite differently.  The other argument could be that if they can surmount these obstacles, then it will stand the test of time.  But given how quickly everything happens on this show and how difficult it is to really know each other in a compressed period of time, then I do think this kind of struggle is indicative of a relationship that won't make it in the long term.  

Native, ITA.  I'm also older and in younger days felt like the struggle proved that you had feelings for each other ... and it was worth fighting for.  But experience taught me that just the opposite is true.  Having been there, done that, I can now see that when it's right, there is no struggle; it's just easy.  No fear, no hesitation, just trust and love.

I totally agree with you about this under normal circumstances..but this is such a weird venue..speed dating on a TV show...I don't know how they can stay confident when the one they are falling for is dating others right in front of their eyes. That's just not normal... I could never do it and can't imagine how it would actually make a person feel.. !!   :WAVEY: 

[ImeldaMarcos]

There is some chaos for both of them. They are both hysterical over SOMETHING. So, there is conflict....whether it is resolved and they have a successful relationship is yet to be seen. I hope that they both find themselves happy with each other or without.

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