Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #8

Oh come on you guys. You know I was one of the biggest BenLo fans. Of course I don't think that is how Ben is "all the time," but it doesn't negate the fact that he was moody and burried in his phone plenty of times he was captured. My point was, he's a person, he clearly has his hang ups and flaws like anyone. I refuse to believe this is all Lauren's fault. I think we've had plenty of hints that he can be difficult to live with - he's even admitted as much! It takes two to tango.

I just don't like the Saint Ben apologists and hurt for Lauren who will likely get 95% of the blame publicly. That's not fair, imo.

@sosleepy I have to agree. He actually seemed pissy to me more often than not. I remember Lauren being surprised during the HEA segment after the fight, wondering how he was able to be 'on' when things clearly weren't ok .

bleuberry wrote:@sosleepy I have to agree. He actually seemed pissy to me more often than not. I remember Lauren being surprised during the HEA segment after the fight, wondering how he was able to be 'on' when things clearly weren't ok .

Happy Mother's Day, Bleu!

And thank you! ITA! More often than not - pissy is a good way to describe the snippets we saw in Snap. And I also remember that from HEA too! Lauren (who ironically is the one who gets labeled as fake) being so hurt and devastated post Ben canceling the wedding, and being confused how he could smile and act so happy and on for interviews and cameras in Vegas.

I'm not putting fault on anyone because what good is that gonna do and really, we don't know the whole story. As for the Ben apologists, it's not fair but I fail to see how it is on Ben that a bunch of weirdo strangers have chosen to cyber harass Lauren. Even if he came out and said he was the most crap fiance of all time, it won't change those people. JMO.

BlackHalo wrote:I'm not putting fault on anyone because what good is that gonna do and really, we don't know the whole story. As for the Ben apologists, it's not fair but I fail to see how it is on Ben that a bunch of weirdo strangers have chosen to cyber harass Lauren. Even if he came out and said he was the most crap fiance of all time, it won't change those people. JMO.

Sometimes I think Ben could have made a larger stand - dating all the way back to last year - to stand up for Lauren publicly and state empathetically that she was his true love/true F1. The true love story. So much of Lauren's intitial (and still lingering) hate comes from intense JoJo, JoJo/Ben fans. He could have stood up for Lauren more. He could have called that out. He could have admitted he made mistakes.  He really didn't.

I'm thinking of like Des here. Whenever (to this day) she gets lingering Brooks comments, she always states Chris was the true love story for her and stands up for her man and what they have. I don't think Ben ever extended that same courtesy and loyalty toward Lauren.

@sosleepy Ben is in his own world, he is not ready for a full time relationship and should not have done the bachelor. IMHO

sosleepy wrote:

BlackHalo wrote:I'm not putting fault on anyone because what good is that gonna do and really, we don't know the whole story. As for the Ben apologists, it's not fair but I fail to see how it is on Ben that a bunch of weirdo strangers have chosen to cyber harass Lauren. Even if he came out and said he was the most crap fiance of all time, it won't change those people. JMO.

Sometimes I think Ben could have made a larger stand - dating all the way back to last year - to stand up for Lauren publicly and state empathetically that she was his true love/true F1. The true love story. So much of Lauren's intitial (and still lingering) hate comes from intense JoJo, JoJo/Ben fans. He could have stood up for Lauren more. He could have called that out. He could have admitted he made mistakes.  He really didn't.

I'm thinking of like Des here. Whenever (to this day) she gets lingering Brooks comments, she always states Chris was the true love story for her and stands up for her man and what they have. I don't think Ben ever extended that courtesy and loyalty for Lauren.

Maybe that could have helped but I honestly think these people have an issue with Lauren and Lauren alone, using Jojo/Ben to justify their hate. It's not Lauren's issue, it's theirs. If Ben had done the same thing but ended up picking Jojo, I don't think the backlash would have been the same. JMO.

Their People mag spread's front page was 'she was always the one.' That whole season I was like Jojo who?? Lauren had it in the bag. As for the comparison to Des, I didn't watch her season and don't follow her stuff. Ben doesn't respond much to people, only sometimes on Twitter. We don't even know if he reads IG comments, I can't remember a time when he's liked or responded on there in a long time. And I personally think Lauren was able to get over the Jojo stuff after a bit.

Thanks @sosleepy and HMD to you too! And I agree with just about everything as usual . I don't dislike the guy but I never really got a 100% invested feeling from him and was boggled at some of the fits he threw. Paint?! Really?

@sosleepy your comments about ben stated "constantly" and "literally always". Which was not the case at all. I am not faulting lauren for the demise of their relationship. However, i am not faulting ben for it either. I think they both equally made decisions that have hurt their relationship.

Old fogey here..... But I still think there's some wisdom to taking your time to move in together. Not that long distance is great either. Getting a separate place nearby for a while at least at the beginning makes the most sense to me, if you can afford it. I could see where an only child like Ben would have a tendency to be territorial in spite of his best intentions. (And his house is not exactly huge either.) I'm an old married lady and still have to deal with hubby's reactions when I look to make changes around here, ...

hae1001 wrote:@sosleepy your comments about ben stated "constantly" and "literally always". Which was not the case at all. I am not faulting lauren for the demise of their relationship. However, i am not faulting ben for it either. I think they both equally made decisions that have hurt their relationship.

Well of course. I'm sure Lauren contributed to the break down as well - there are always two sides. Two to tango. I just think in the public realm - Lauren is going to take 95% of the beating over this. And I think that sucks. Watching HEA was quite illuminating to me and showcased many of Ben's shortcomings. Somehow he still gets a pass though. I guess I just had the opposite reaction to many. HEA made me feel so badly for Lauren for so many reasons. It also helped me get over my Ben adoration pretty quickly.