Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #8

Boshem wrote:@Cocoasneeze

Because they did the hosting / hea? Because other couples have broken up before the 2 year mark.

It does not matter what other couples do or do not do. It matters what her particular contract has in it. It's not just TB or HEA it could be the Disney one, also and then it could there is nothing contractual after all.
So if her contract says ___________. She is going to adhere to that contract or else deal with a  lawsuit. Then again, there maybe nothing binding them contractually and the couple is simply dysfunctional all on there own.
I don't think it has anything to do with a magic 2 yr mark either. It has to do with whatever timing TPTB want it to be for whatever their particular reasoning is. 2 yrs would be next November? Give me a cyanide capsule. :shootme:

^ I don't fully understand that mentality if she didn't care and didn't want him anymore, why play the mind games? I thought it was more for the SM users to see. I don't think Ben cares about her posts - he hasn't 'liked' a lot of them anyway

@hannah.e. how do you know she doesn't care and doesn't want him any more? Maybe he dumped her. She's the one left picking the pieces, moving her stuff again, finding a new home, settling, but she should consider him in her sm posts? And if he doesn't care about what she posts, why should she consider him at all? Jmo

@cocoasneeze I HOPE it was Ben who broke it off. I don't think he did though. He would've kept trying but he didn't have a willing participant all year IMO.
Only evidence I have to that claim is SM. Does she seem like a girl who cares right now? I don't think so.

@hannah.e. Lauren is playing a mind game?? IMO it's Ben who has playing mind games from the very beginning with his false hopes and promises. And it was Ben who posted on may 4th defending Lauren and saying he is proud of his girl and using heart eyes .
Ben was the one who said in that therapy session that Lauren is mature and knows of life goals as in wanting to settle down ,own a puppy etc. He is the one who was having hard time. Ben has some rooted issues and unless and until he seeks therapy and work on it , his chances of having successful relationship with whoever he chooses is hard .JMO
Ben is an expert at stringing along Lauren and TBH I don't think he is strong enough to pull the plug off, nothing to do with he wanting to try saving a relationship, it's just his personality which IMO was quite evident from many occasions we got to see during last 1 and half year of their life .

@hannah.e. we don't know if Ben would've kept trying, we don't know anything at all.

I have no clue how Lauren is feeling, many people don't show that on sm. Ben's sm doesn't make him look that torn up either, IMO.

^ ty!! I didn't know how contracts work. I honestly thought the majority were alike / similar in how they end relationships if need be. Next November I hope it's soon honestly

A lot of my girlfriends use the SM logic, and I can't deny and say I haven't also done it.. I think you're wrong. Lauren definitely still cares about Ben and has wanted his attention since day 1. If you look back on her ig when they first came public, she was over the moon with him. Feelings don't just change overnight. For example, last Mother's Day she posted it was her first day without Ben cause he went to visit his mom and she was with her family- and she said it was the hardest & she missed him immediately!! After one day!! Now it's been literally months since they've spent longer than 3 days together. For some reason Lauren has changed a lot since last year and I think it stems from insecurities in her relationship. I think the breakup was pretty mutual (if it's them) in the fact that after all the counselling and they still were unable to communicate, they realized they were better off alone. I can see Lauren resenting Ben right now though, IMO.

Idc what "single" Ben and Lauren do or post on sm. If they are over, then they are over. I hope both of them move on and find happiness. However, as of right now, they are both still "together" as neither have made any announcement contradicting imo. Lauren is still wearing her engagement ring. Whether there is a contract or not, tbh doesn't really matter to me. Because they both signed the said contract, therefore it is on them to maintain that contract. If Lauren and Ben are split up and Lauren thinks it's a good idea to go p*ssy popping in Las Vegas with the twins and flash her engagement ring all over, then imo the criticism she receives over it is a result of her own actions. She has gone without the ring before she could have easily taken it off again. You either put an end to it, or you stay off sm until that point in which you can. But don't act single and fake a public engagement imo. I'm a big fan of them both and I'll continue to support them both together or apart unless they move forward trying to tear the other down.

hannah.e. wrote:@cocoasneeze I HOPE it was Ben who broke it off. I don't think he did though. He would've kept trying but he didn't have a willing participant all year IMO.
Only evidence I have to that claim is SM. Does she seem like a girl who cares right now? I don't think so.

I agree that Ben probably wasn't the one to break it off. But only because he is not decisive enough to pull the trigger. He is also way too image conscious, so yeah, I think he would have faked it much longer if Lauren had been willing participant. IMO.

Ben is soooooo moody and constantly buried in his phone on the rare occasion he "allows" Lauren to snap him. Those are the private/real moments of Ben that give a better glimpse into who he is and how he behaves as a partner, imo. He does put on quite the show for interviews though. I don't think that's real him. Again, imo. Even Ben has stated he sometimes makes it very difficult for Lauren to love him.

And as for Lauren being checked out for the past however many months off partying and leaving poor little Ben at home... how do we know he even wanted her there? Perhaps she is off jetsetting because he wants his house back and his space. Perhaps she's leaving where she doesn't feel welcome.

The truth is we don't know these people. We don't know the circumstances. It's all conjecture and speculation. But there are plenty of reasonable explanations for how things are going down that don't cast Lauren as evil incarnet with poor little Ben mopping up his broken heart.

^ In an interview talking about wedding plans from last year or something, Lauren said they are both indecisive. Then in an interview with People, showing off their home..it was a video interview and one of the questions was 'who is more moody?' they both agreed Lauren was the moodier one. The video was cute and the questions were lighthearted. I don't think it's fair to say Ben is 100% the moodier one. Maybe Lauren catches Ben at the wrong time when Lauren pulls out her phone for SC. I for one can understand SC being uncomfortable for some. Quick! Act all cute and make faces for 10 second intervals! He doesn't even seem to understand the filters

@sosleepy I just went through all of the snaps on the Instagram account that was reposting them. Ben is on his phone a handful of the times she snapped him, they are mostly very happy snaps between the two, and considering Lauren is on her phone for every single snap that she took, that seems like an invalid point to try and make imo.

The small glimpses of Ben we see on Snapchat is the way he is all the time? Who knew.

It kinda blows my mind that the way people behave or look on social media is taken as a representation of who the truly are and how they truly feel. It is such a small portion of what goes on. I for one wish Lauren would make her account private so she doesn't have to deal with the armchair therapists, nutritionists, etc. JMO.