Nick Viall & Vanessa Grimaldi - Bachelor 21 - Discussion

justa_knowbody wrote:

notarose wrote:
New topic: not much is known about Vanessa's former relationships.  I'm fairly certain I know who one of her former boyfriends is - Steven Holness known on SM as @balaramaholness  Going out on a limb and saying 99% confident.

@notarose thank you for sharing this. I know you are a longtime supporter of Nick and I respect that.  But I just can't wrap my head around the idea that someone who had been in a relationship w/ Balarama Holness could be truly interested in Nick Viall. Balarama is just on an entirely different level, in so many ways, IMO. To me this just gives me more reason to believe that Nick and Vanessa are a "showmance".

Who is this guy？ why is he on an entirety different level than nick? Is he more loving? Funnier? More compatible with her? Inquiring mind wants to know. I just don't understand why because she allegedly dated this balarma guy before then it means her feelings for nick are not genuine? I really am confused?

Vanessa's own words regarding Nick compared to her past exes says it all IMO...

[Vanessa]: "I had been dating some interesting men over the last couple of years, but there had always been something missing.

But with Nick, it was an automatic click."

source

Personally I can totally relate to what Vanessa is saying based on my own relationship experience where I dated guys who may have seemed like great catches but there was always something missing... until I met my SO and we just automatically "clicked".

The only way I can explain it is that it's just a soulmate connection where one feels like one is "home" and has finally met the person that doesn't make one feel like something is missing. In other words, when you know, you know... 

jmo

coolangel wrote:

Cocoasneeze wrote:Some people like both wine coolers and champagne, not limiting themselves to just one.  I still don't see how, if Vanessa wanted to be the next lead, she didn't remove herself from the show, and do her bidding for the lead?! JMO

Seriously! I can imagine TPTB practically salivating at the idea of Nick being rejected by his frontrunner to become the 'Ette. It would have been the ultimate storyline for them IMO. They might have even offered her a contract on the spot if they thought this was a possibility.  

All JMO

Well, I certainly agree that TPTB would love for Vanessa to reject Nick, at any point during or after filming, IMO. I don't think TPTB were/are behind this couple and the edit supports this, also MO. As much as I don't care for Nick, I think his portrayal, Vanessa's portrayal, and their portrayal as a couple (via the edit) was harsh. JMHO

Kashathediva wrote:Robert Mills is an azzhole. It does not matter who he is talking about. Weasel. Slimy, smug slug. He is forever throwing shade at all kinds of people and making all kinds of gross accusations. His mother did not spank him enough when he was little. He probably hires someone for that now. I can see it personally.
JMOAA.  

It's funny how Mills talked about how much he liked Vanessa on his podcast with Litman when he spoke about how historical the ATFR would be...and, right after ATFR he talked about how wrong Nick was on his choice of picking Vanessa...adding that it would have been better, if he had chosen Raven...but, somewhere in the podcast...he also mentioned that he could not see Nick and Raven being in love since they didn't really have much chemistry...

The whole podcast didn't make sense to me...Mills was on one hand pushing for Raven, but yet he criticized that there's not much chemistry between her and Nick...and, yet he was talking about Vanessa having the chemistry with Nick, but was wrong for him...

I looked at it as Mills insisting and supporting their storyline, and trying to re-affirm and contradict the change since it was out of their control...that Vanessa's personalities were too strong for Nick, thus they were constantly having troubles, and were not happy during ATFR and they would not last...I think Mills was trying to sway his way out of the accusations that TPTB had manipulated the real story behind TB21...

- JMO-

justa_knowbody wrote:

coolangel wrote:
Seriously! I can imagine TPTB practically salivating at the idea of Nick being rejected by his frontrunner to become the 'Ette. It would have been the ultimate storyline for them IMO. They might have even offered her a contract on the spot if they thought this was a possibility.  

All JMO

Well, I certainly agree that TPTB would love for Vanessa to reject Nick, at any point during or after filming, IMO. I don't think TPTB were/are behind this couple and the edit supports this, also MO. As much as I don't care for Nick, I think his portrayal, Vanessa's portrayal, and their portrayal as a couple (via the edit) was harsh. JMHO

I feel TPTB operate on the mantra 'We like you till our next opportunity to screw you' I always thought they liked BenLo but then I saw parts of HEA and how it was scripted to put the final nail in the coffin of that relationship and I realized TPTB don't care about any of these couples (JMO). Get married? Good. Have a trainwreck breakup on camera? Even better.  

All JMO

Millsy talks out both sides of his mouth, IMO, and always will. He and Fleiss thrive on drama and controversy and honestly, anything that could be perceived as negative I think is seen as a good thing to them and all about those clicks/ratings and whatnot. It's why they edit the show the way they do for maximum drama because it has been proven that the ratings don't get impacted and as has been stated countless times, TPTB are not in the business of selling a love story. They want the drama and each year they will up the ante to get it, IMO. It's why it's all just noise to me and I don't believe anything TPTB says even for the ones I dislike. jmo

justa_knowbody wrote:

notarose wrote:
New topic: not much is known about Vanessa's former relationships.  I'm fairly certain I know who one of her former boyfriends is - Steven Holness known on SM as @balaramaholness  Going out on a limb and saying 99% confident.

@notarose thank you for sharing this. I know you are a longtime supporter of Nick and I respect that.  But I just can't wrap my head around the idea that someone who had been in a relationship w/ Balarama Holness could be truly interested in Nick Viall. Balarama is just on an entirely different level, in so many ways, IMO. To me this just gives me more reason to believe that Nick and Vanessa are a "showmance".

@justa_knowbody Regarding the bold (although I have no idea who Holness is), I think that's is what we normally call "growing up and have better understanding of oneself after a failed relationship". And, that failed relationship could probably mean that "type" is NOT a suitable for V. And as we all said before, we don't really know Nick in person, no one know for sure what good/bad qualities do he actually have.

All just my opinion.

sdmom wrote:

justa_knowbody wrote:

notarose wrote:
New topic: not much is known about Vanessa's former relationships.  I'm fairly certain I know who one of her former boyfriends is - Steven Holness known on SM as @balaramaholness  Going out on a limb and saying 99% confident.

@notarose thank you for sharing this. I know you are a longtime supporter of Nick and I respect that.  But I just can't wrap my head around the idea that someone who had been in a relationship w/ Balarama Holness could be truly interested in Nick Viall. Balarama is just on an entirely different level, in so many ways, IMO. To me this just gives me more reason to believe that Nick and Vanessa are a "showmance".

Who is this guy？ why is he on an entirety different level than nick? Is he more loving? Funnier? More compatible with her? Inquiring mind wants to know. I just don't understand why because she allegedly dated this balarma guy before then it means her feelings for nick are not genuine? I really am confused?

In response to the bolded.
https://balaramaholness.com/about/
https://mobile.twitter.com/balaramaholness?lang=en
https://www.instagram.com/balarama_holness/

If Vanessa dated this balarama person, no matter how amazing he may be as a human, doesn't mean he was the right guy for Vanessa. Like SHE said, something was always missing from her previous relationships. Just because she may have dated him in the past, several years ago, doesn't say anything about her relationship with Nick now. JMO.

These sm trolls are horrible people. Vanessa posts a cute family picture and they go in on her brother's height. Do they not get that this is bullying? Many have very 'christian' intros on Instagram, yet they behave like monsters on other people's comment section. Are they that ticked, that Nick didn't pick Raven? I just don't get their motivation at all. Jmo.

Vanessa's exes are all exes for a reason and that reason Vanessa stated was because there was always something missing. Doesn't matter how much I like them or don't like them or like Nick or don't like him, Vanessa never got engaged to any of them and especially since she said there was always something missing with them it makes complete sense why they are exes. It also makes complete sense to me why she is engaged to Nick given that she doesn't feel like anything is missing with him. IMO that's how one knows someone is "the one" and someone isn't - it's intangible and that indescribable something.

jmo

Whew, he sounds like a fun date.

peggy0221 wrote:

justa_knowbody wrote:

notarose wrote:
New topic: not much is known about Vanessa's former relationships.  I'm fairly certain I know who one of her former boyfriends is - Steven Holness known on SM as @balaramaholness  Going out on a limb and saying 99% confident.

@notarose thank you for sharing this. I know you are a longtime supporter of Nick and I respect that.  But I just can't wrap my head around the idea that someone who had been in a relationship w/ Balarama Holness could be truly interested in Nick Viall. Balarama is just on an entirely different level, in so many ways, IMO. To me this just gives me more reason to believe that Nick and Vanessa are a "showmance".

@justa_knowbody Regarding the bold (although I have no idea who Holness is), I think that's is what we normally call "growing up and have better understanding of oneself after a failed relationship". And, that failed relationship could probably mean that "type" is NOT a suitable for V. And as we all said before, we don't really know Nick in person, no one know for sure what good/bad qualities do he actually have.

All just my opinion.

@peggy0221 I hear what you are saying. If Vanessa was in a relationship with Balarama Holness, and I would need some convincing that, in fact, they were, it doesn't mean they were a good match other than on paper. They are both very well educated (post bacc), focused on education through teaching and also through shaping public policy, with an emphasis on charitable work and underserved populations. They each appear to be Champions / Idealists (Meyers Briggs). Ambitious and very purpose driven in wanting to serve and make a difference in the world. But while sharing the same ideals and purpose would serve as a good foundation, it wouldn't necessarily make them compatible.

And I will concede that Nick may be compatible with Vanessa for various reasons which have nothing to do with lofty ideals. It is just that I haven't gotten the impression over these past three years that Nick has altruistic ambitions careerwise, but is focused on being the most successful reality television star he can be. Not that there is anything wrong with that. But is that enough for Vanessa in the long run? Is this platform enough for her? And if not, what then? Who knows, certainly not me. Just speculating about what may or may not be, what works or may not work when it comes to people and relationships.