Nick Viall & Vanessa Grimaldi - Bachelor 21 - Discussion

Mgrissom wrote:Vanessa had her friend from home with her last week and it looks like Taylor is there with her this week.  I think the trip to NYC and WI was good for them.  

What were the doing in nyc? Seems odd to go there for a stopover to milwaulkee from LA.

We have no idea what they did in NYC, they haven't shared on sm or anywhere.

Vanessa seems to be enjoying her life with Nick in LA, perhaps she doesn't think she has sacrificed anything. JMO

Maybe they want to keep the New York portion of their trip private......JMHO.

I think they must've been there on some official business we don't know about. I doubt they would fly across the country just to have their pics taken in a garage during an already busy week.

How do we know Vanessa feels as if she sacrificed anything. She is engaged to someone she crushed on prior to going on the show, she said so herself. She is living in L.A for now, she is smiling from ear to ear.

She has a life in Montreal, she can always go back to if things don't work out. IMO I look at it as building a relationship, same as all the other couples before them that moved to be together went through.

Whether or not they last, IMO she did make some sacrifice. Just like Molly, Catherine, Des, Lauren, and others. She left Montreal and a good job to make the relationship work. Sure she can go back if they break up, but does that then mean she didn't make any sacrifices? IMO she should feel like she made sacrifices, that isn't a bad thing. I think she's taking the relationship seriously which is more than I can say for Nick. JMO.

bleuberry wrote:Whether or not they last, IMO she did make some sacrifice. Just like Molly, Catherine, Des, Lauren, and others. She left Montreal and a good job to make the relationship work. Sure she can go back if they break up, but does that then mean she didn't make any sacrifices? IMO she should feel like she made sacrifices, that isn't a bad thing. I think she's taking the relationship seriously which is more than I can say for Nick. JMO.

I love a good discussion. I'm truly curious. What do you see about Nick that makes you feel like he isn't taking V and their relationship seriously?

I go with Vanessa's own words where she said that she doesn't see herself as "giving up" anything. I totally relate and always have when it comes to V's situation and I see it exactly like she does.

At no point in my situation did I think that my SO didn't love me the same or didn't take our relationship seriously because of what may be considered to be more sacrifice on my part (leaving my home country, family, friends, job, etc) at the time.

When one is a "Team" and sees oneself as a team like Nick and Vanessa have stated numerous times, one sees every opportunity and experience as a "We" and are in it together. That's what I did with my SO and that's what I see with N&V, and per their own words and actions.

jmo

I don't think the other couples are saying I sacrificed my life, to move, live in a nice home, get married and have children. I would think they would feel they made changes to be with the one they love and together they are building a life together.

To me it's no different than any other couple who has to move even if it's 20 km's to be with the one they are in love with. I don't look at it as a sacrifice, they are not giving something up for the benefit of someone else. It's for both of their benefits IMHO.

This is an interesting topic: Sacrifice.
Definition according to Merriam-Webster

Definition of sacrifice
1
: an act of offering to a deity something precious; especially : the killing of a victim on an altar
2
: something offered in sacrifice
3
a : destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else
b : something given up or lost the sacrifices made by parents
4
: loss goods sold at a sacrifice

I guess it would depend on how Vanessa defines those things she is giving up, how precious is one vs the other etc.
I would say currently she does not feel as if she is sacrificing as she willing is letting go something of lesser value for something she feels is better.
Now perhaps if her relationship ends up being a disaster in retrospect she may feel she sacrificed.

happydays wrote:Question -- we know the sacrifices V has made for the relationship. What sacrifices has Nick made?

It's a great question.
I think in order for anyone's relationship to work it's important that each partner "give" freely and optimum that neither "keep track".  IMO relationships sometimes fail because 1 "gives" expecting the other to return in equal measure which erases the idea of "selflessness". It becomes a form of competition or at the very least a relationship where expectations are set and judgement sets in.  This can lead to resentment.
If both partners are selfless, they give as opportunity arises because they want to.  It's how unconditional love deepens.

Obvs Vanessa did sacrifice the life she knew prior to meeting Nick but if she did so because she was moving toward her future she essentially did so for herself and to benefit the relationship. If Nick is selfless in his love her for her, if she is now what he said he wanted as a future husband - their own family unit apart from that of the Viall clan - then he is on his way to giving her what she wanted, an engagement like a marriage. I do think he is there.  While in MKE, they had dinner with some of his family but otherwise he cut the cord. They stayed in a hotel, explored the city, spent time as a couple. He made her his first priority.

Of all this talk about Vanessa and nick .I would say it is early to say about their relationship will last. As for now they are engaged and enjoying this ride . I am not judging their relationship. They seem both enjoying all this attention which is good that they are on the same page . But I do think the real thing is coming after dwts if they don't have to go to another show like what the media is reporting them
Having a show like Benlo did . Jmo