Nick Viall & Vanessa Grimaldi - Bachelor 21 - Discussion

bleuberry wrote:Whether or not they last, IMO she did make some sacrifice. Just like Molly, Catherine, Des, Lauren, and others. She left Montreal and a good job to make the relationship work. Sure she can go back if they break up, but does that then mean she didn't make any sacrifices? IMO she should feel like she made sacrifices, that isn't a bad thing. I think she's taking the relationship seriously which is more than I can say for Nick. JMO.

For me it's too early to judge just what Nick is willing to "sacrifice." I think we'll get a much better indicator of who they are and how they function once this extended reality tv stint ends. For now, he seems to be doing a pretty great job of including and making time for Vanessa while he dances, and she seems to be enjoying it too. Which is more than we can say for our precious dancing Bachelors.   I'm actually excited for Nick to get the boot so we can get a better read on these two. I'm still hoping for a NYC compromise.

Nick has included Vanessa in almost every aspect of his DWTS chapter... so much so that she was part of his team name SM promo pics and reveal. She is at rehearsals with him. She lives with him. He wears a bracelet with her name on it even while dancing. He reiterates constantly how much he appreciates her and couldn't do this without her. He literally gave her his dancing shoes to wear when her feet were hurting. Silly or small things, these things add up in a real relationship. And honestly I don't know of any Bach guy that has done what Nick has done while doing DWTS. Not even close, IMO. So to me Nick has already demonstrated with his actions that he is taking his relationship VERY seriously and IMO they are already miles ahead of other couples when it comes to being on the same page and as they said being a "team" and it is "them" doing DWTS even if he is dancing, she is there too and it's their journey together.

jmo

sosleepy wrote:

bleuberry wrote:Whether or not they last, IMO she did make some sacrifice. Just like Molly, Catherine, Des, Lauren, and others. She left Montreal and a good job to make the relationship work. Sure she can go back if they break up, but does that then mean she didn't make any sacrifices? IMO she should feel like she made sacrifices, that isn't a bad thing. I think she's taking the relationship seriously which is more than I can say for Nick. JMO.

For me it's too early to judge just what Nick is willing to "sacrifice." I think we'll get a much better indicator of who they are and how they function once this extended reality tv stint ends. For now, he seems to be doing a pretty great job of including and making time for Vanessa while he dances, and she seems to be enjoying it too. Which is more than we can say for our precious dancing Bachelors.   I'm actually excited for Nick to get the boot so we can get a better read on these two. I'm still hoping for a NYC compromise.

Oh, for sure! It's still super early. I'm interested to see where they settle and what they do with their lives.

Based on my experience from four years ago, the first three weeks of DWTS are easy for the couples. It gets progressively harder each week from there.

AllAboutLove wrote:
At no point in my situation did I think that my SO didn't love me the same or didn't take our relationship seriously because of what may be considered to be more sacrifice on my part (leaving my home country, family, friends, job, etc) at the time.
When one is a "Team" and sees oneself as a team like Nick and Vanessa have stated numerous times, one sees every opportunity and experience as a "We" and are in it together. That's what I did with my SO and that's what I see with N&V, and per their own words and actions.

notarose wrote:
I think in order for anyone's relationship to work it's important that each partner "give" freely and optimum that neither "keep track".  IMO relationships sometimes fail because 1 "gives" expecting the other to return in equal measure which erases the idea of "selflessness". It becomes a form of competition or at the very least a relationship where expectations are set and judgement sets in.  This can lead to resentment.
If both partners are selfless, they give as opportunity arises because they want to.  It's how unconditional love deepens.

I absolutely love your posts @AllAboutLove and @notarose.   These are the words and advice I want to hold onto in my relationship. TY!

What I see are two people together working at a relationship.  Because of their realism and skepticism of this process, they had to work at their relationship on the show and work at it long distance while the show was airing.  I went back and watched BenLo's ATFR just to see why everyone is saying Nissa's was "awkward."  To me the difference is that Nick and Vanessa's relationship is on a fast track and they are tackling the potential problems vs. just enjoying each other's company.

Vanessa helping him with DWTS could be difficult if she is not always positive and supportive.  She was a good teacher and her students loved her, so something tells me she is positive and supportive of Nick.

coolangel wrote:

AllAboutLove wrote:
At no point in my situation did I think that my SO didn't love me the same or didn't take our relationship seriously because of what may be considered to be more sacrifice on my part (leaving my home country, family, friends, job, etc) at the time.
When one is a "Team" and sees oneself as a team like Nick and Vanessa have stated numerous times, one sees every opportunity and experience as a "We" and are in it together. That's what I did with my SO and that's what I see with N&V, and per their own words and actions.

notarose wrote:
I think in order for anyone's relationship to work it's important that each partner "give" freely and optimum that neither "keep track".  IMO relationships sometimes fail because 1 "gives" expecting the other to return in equal measure which erases the idea of "selflessness". It becomes a form of competition or at the very least a relationship where expectations are set and judgement sets in.  This can lead to resentment.
If both partners are selfless, they give as opportunity arises because they want to.  It's how unconditional love deepens.

I absolutely love your posts @AllAboutLove and @notarose.   These are the words and advice I want to hold onto in my relationship. TY!

my philosophy has always been that there are no perfect people thus no perfection possible in a relationship. Whenever I've been a lapse partner I just forgive myself and start fresh the next day.
all the best with your beau.

Cila51290 wrote:

Ash2214 wrote:
On another note, it's really crazy seeing a F1 that didn't break a million followers after the finale aired. It's been this way for quite a few years now and Vanessa isn't even close. All JMO

It's only been this way for Lauren B as F1. She hit 1 million and JoJo soon after. Kaitlyn hit 1 million soon too but she wasn't even the F1. The other years it took a little longer for everyone to hit 1 million as soon as the show ended. Some still don't even have 1 million till this day. I'd say Ben and JoJo's season had probably a higher demographic with the younger crowd that loves social media. It would explain the massive followers for that season. The F1 and F2 edits were also pretty evident and had TONS of screentime.

I found a nice statistics tool for Instagram and remembered this conversation, so I had to take a look at it (nerdy I know ).

Lauren, the IG queen of F1s, started at 524K right before the finale, had 945K a week after and 1M two weeks after (1.4M today).
The corresponding numbers for Vanessa are 477K, 866K and 914K.
People love the uncomplicated fairy tale of course, but the difference is smaller than you would expect IMO.

The others are far behind. Whitney peaked a year ago at 577K and Nikki has 433K (still gaining new ones at times). The main reason for this difference IMO is how IG and SM in general have developed lately.
For the bettes, Kaitlyn didn’t reach 1M until her bette finale (1.6M today), and JoJo reached 1M at her premiere (2.2M today).

https://socialblade.com/instagram/user/laurenbushnell/
https://socialblade.com/instagram/user/vanessagrimaldi30/
https://socialblade.com/instagram/user/whitb624/
https://socialblade.com/instagram/user/nikki_ferrell/
https://socialblade.com/instagram/user/kaitlynbristowe
https://socialblade.com/instagram/user/joelle_fletcher

Nick gives me a slimy vibe IMO, I wish them well, but he should know that he is very lucky to end up with gorgeous V IMO

It seems he knows it!

Kashathediva wrote:It seems he knows it!

IA! And the way V keeps saying that she never thought she'll meet someone like Nick, I believe she considers herself lucky as well to have him.

It's one of the things I love about them as a couple that they both consider themselves equally lucky to have the other person and that their relationship is one between equals.

All JMO.

coolangel wrote:

Kashathediva wrote:It seems he knows it!

IA! And the way V keeps saying that she never thought she'll meet someone like Nick, I believe she considers herself lucky as well to have him.

It's one of the things I love about them as a couple that they both consider themselves equally lucky to have the other person and that their relationship is one between equals.

All JMO.

Yes! A relationship between equals. Such a refreshing change, IMHO.