Ben Higgins - Lauren Bushnell - Bachelor 20 - Discussion - #5

bleuberry wrote:I dont think she has to do it the way the other girls did it. But I am finding it a little weird that they're spending these milestones apart. I thought Christmas was weirder than her spending her birthday away.

Honestly the Christmas thing wasn't that big of a deal to me. But now adding in the birthday is weird. And then adding in the fact that they didn't spend Christmas or her birthday together last year is even weirder. All IMO.

It still seems odd to me that they seem to be spending more time apart than together from what I can see. I do like them so I hope everything is ok. I know he sometimes likes/comments her pics and posts pics of her, but I just can't help but think they are trying to save face. If it were me, I wouldn't want to be travelling so often without my fiancé or spending a lot of time apart. All jmo.

When relationships sink in this franchise, it always seems like they try to "save face" before the breakup. I don't think Ben and Lauren are breaking up, but their relationship priorities seem to have shifted IMO.

IMO, Ben and Lauren are two people who will not be great at hiding stuff if things were seriously going bad . Evident from their show HEA, their emotions on their faces give away if things aren't pleasant. So in my opinion Ben liking and commenting on Lauren pics are not trying to save face.Lauren just today started following few more friends of Ben .
And I don't think they are only together for shilling opportunities either, whatever Offers Lauren is getting, I believe she can get those even if she is single and as far as Ben is concerned , he isn't into that really. JMO

My opinion is that Lauren is going to continue taking these frequent trips, especially now that Ben is at work again full time, working whatever hours we can only guess and also having to travel out of town frequently. Her blog is a "travel and lifestyle" blog, and her last post on January 18th was about the San Diego resort she stayed at for the photo shoot she did. Her blog was then down for two weeks while she was working to fix whatever issue it was (per her twitter). She made the comment that she would be documenting the trip across her social media accounts and IMO her tweeting that was for the sole purpose of promoting the place and the "travel" aspect of her blog. When she first started the blog, I had pictured it being along the lines of Leslie's who shares all of the exciting places she travels too. IMO, this is what Lauren had wanted. She has spent alone time with Ben this month, and IMO, only they can define how much quality time is needed between the two of them to keep their relationship healthy.

It's honestly hard for me to gauge for once.
First, Lauren is very used to traveling and this is probably several times a week. I suspect she liked her job and misses it.
Second, I do think she is looking for something to actively do. A blog isn't doing it. JMOAA
Third, I do think they both appear happy. So maybe this is the norm for them? Maybe they like it.
I can see that. My own spouse traveled M-F.Sometimes he didn't make it home for the weekend. It was hard. But we have been together almost 38 yrs. When we finally moved, and he could be home nightly people said "won't that be a hard adjustment?". I guess it could have been. It was not. He is now with me every day almost 24/7 and I am for the most part happy as a clam.

I agree Kasha. As much as I find the xmas /bday thing weird, I still don't think they're on the rocks. If she's promoting stuff and getting paid then maybe this is how they decide to live. If it works for them then good.

Also, that selfie is exactly what I miss about Lauren. I think she looks beautiful in a more natural state with features proportionate to her face.

Perhaps if they spent this first year of their relationship trying to be normal and solidifying their relationship this time apart wouldn't be a big deal. They spent their first year together in hiding for a few months and then very quickly after they were allowed to be in public they began filming another reality television show that wasn't really about reality. The show and all parts of it weren't over until November. It's now going on three months later and they're barely spending time alone and together.

At some point the party has to stop and they have to settle down if they really want to focus on the relationship like they said since it seems like the show took its toll. All JMO

IMO Maintaining friendships take a lot of work especially with those longtime friendships that weren't worthy of being on their HEA show. If it works for their relationship, kudos to them for attempting to find a balance between family, friends, and each other. IMO, they are both so devoted to family and friends it must be challenging to find what works for them because they both fit in so well with each other's friends and family.

Maybe they will look back on January and realize February they need to devote more time to each other instead of family/friends. IMO, it's their journey to live and learn from.

I guess we will see eventually. It's hard not to compare them with other franchise couples and other couples in general. IMO I just still have a feeling they might be taking a break or something like that, of course just my speculation from the lack of time spent together/social media activity. All jmo.

The thing is, and I may be telling myself this, what is normal? Normal is what works for you. IMO
This could be their normal. Maybe. Maybe not. What was normal for me was not normal for other people. Yet here I am almost 38 yrs later happy.
I do agree that they will have to find a "happy medium" since the both reside together.

I just find so many things odd about their relationship recently. But I guess they could just be the kind of people who are in a relationship but don't spend a lot of time together. Sure will be an interesting few months to see if there is any movement towards a wedding or just more time apart.