MAFS - Season 4 - Derek Schwartz - Heather Seidel

suzq wrote:PS.  Sorry, I meant to say if Derek is an alleged pot smoker and the above is JMO.  Thanks!

I just edited it for you but you can do that yourself if you ever have anything to change. Just click on the edit button, suzq.

kristlkrost wrote:Ummmm he said he smoked pot.....But ewww to his rap career He ain't no gangstah! Horrid lyrics!


*clipped*

Where did you see or hear that? Please put a link to it if it's true.

09:34:2309.15.2016

albean99 wrote:

kristlkrost wrote:Ummmm he said he smoked pot.....But ewww to his rap career He ain't no gangstah! Horrid lyrics!


*clipped*

Where did you see or hear that? Please put a link to it if it's true.

He has a BLOG too yuck

Everyone here is harping on him smoking pot. Heather admitted it on TV that after she ask him to stop on that one day, he stop. Heather was not into this. When she signed up to be on the show, I bet she never felt she would be match up. Then when she was, it was not like she was excited about it. After she saw Derek, Heather let her superficial attitude towards his look, check her out of the process and never got to know him. I know there is always 3 sides to the story but from everything that was shown on TV, she wanted nothing to do with him. She went on the honeymoon to get a trip and to play along. Then reality set in and she was what the heck did I get myself into. At least Derek was trying to get to know her and talk to her. All she did was pick out his faults. Yet, I can see why he would be upset and lash out like he did. Do I agree with exactly what he said? NO. But but it did seem that Heather likes her alcohol. Will Heather find love, who knows but what I can tell with her it is all about looks and she is not a prize.

I think we should all quit our day jobs and become marriage counselors for MAFS, we'd all have these couples whipped into shape in no time!!!

Could be rather interesting!

trfkah wrote:Everyone here is harping on him smoking pot. Heather admitted it on TV that after she ask him to stop on that one day, he stop.  Heather was not into this.

We don't know her history. I try and relate it to my own experience with my brother-in-law. He stayed with us over the summer 2-3 years ago. He is a regular pot smoker, and I forbid him from using it in our house. We have three kids, two of them small at the time, and besides my personal feelings on it, there was NO WAY I was going to let my kids be exposed to it. He was very agreeable. "yeah, yeah, sure, not a problem, of course I won't bring it in the house" That's what he told us. What was the reality? I found out he still smoked every day, but would hide at the side of the house, or even go into his room, close the door, and smoke it up against the open window, careful to blow it all outside. When confronted, he got highly aggressive and defensive. Sound familiar? This is very similar to how Derek replied to her, complete with the angry defensive attitude when she confronted him about it.

Do you really think Derek would give up a habit (pot or tobacco) that easily for someone he met only a couple of days earlier? No way. He'd do what my brother-in-law did, sneak around and try to hide it after promising to give it up to her face. Again, that's my opinion, but it's based on experience.

And no one is answering my question. Why shouldn't she be allowed to make her decision early, if he violated a deal breaker term of hers that means a lot to her own sense of morals? Would anyone here bashing her "stick it out" if you were forced to co-habitate with someone you just met, and right away did something that extremely offended you? I sure wouldn't. I'd be all over the producers, and leave.

MAFSMinority wrote:

trfkah wrote:Everyone here is harping on him smoking pot. Heather admitted it on TV that after she ask him to stop on that one day, he stop.  Heather was not into this.

We don't know her history.  I try and relate it to my own experience with my brother-in-law.  He stayed with us over the summer 2-3 years ago.  He is a regular pot smoker, and I forbid him from using it in our house.  We have three kids, two of them small at the time, and besides my personal feelings on it, there was NO WAY I was going to let my kids be exposed to it.  He was very agreeable.  "yeah, yeah, sure, not a problem, of course I won't bring it in the house"  That's what he told us.  What was the reality?  I found out he still smoked every day, but would hide at the side of the house, or even go into his room, close the door, and smoke it up against the open window, careful to blow it all outside.  When confronted, he got highly aggressive and defensive.  Sound familiar?  This is very similar to how Derek replied to her, complete with the angry defensive attitude when she confronted him about it.

Do you really think Derek would give up a habit (pot or tobacco) that easily for someone he met only a couple of days earlier?  No way.  He'd do what my brother-in-law did, sneak around and try to hide it after promising to give it up to her face.  Again, that's my opinion, but it's based on experience.

And no one is answering my question.  Why shouldn't she be allowed to make her decision early, if he violated a deal breaker term of hers that means a lot to her own sense of morals?  Would anyone here bashing her "stick it out" if you were forced to co-habitate with someone you just met, and right away did something that extremely offended you?  I sure wouldn't.  I'd be all over the producers, and leave.

Just like any other addiction, the addicted just doesn't quit because a stranger told them to quit. I have no feeling either way about Heather. All I know is that I would be livid if I were matched with someone who has addiction issues.

Pia1 wrote:

MAFSMinority wrote:

trfkah wrote:Everyone here is harping on him smoking pot. Heather admitted it on TV that after she ask him to stop on that one day, he stop.  Heather was not into this.

We don't know her history.  I try and relate it to my own experience with my brother-in-law.  He stayed with us over the summer 2-3 years ago.  He is a regular pot smoker, and I forbid him from using it in our house.  We have three kids, two of them small at the time, and besides my personal feelings on it, there was NO WAY I was going to let my kids be exposed to it.  He was very agreeable.  "yeah, yeah, sure, not a problem, of course I won't bring it in the house"  That's what he told us.  What was the reality?  I found out he still smoked every day, but would hide at the side of the house, or even go into his room, close the door, and smoke it up against the open window, careful to blow it all outside.  When confronted, he got highly aggressive and defensive.  Sound familiar?  This is very similar to how Derek replied to her, complete with the angry defensive attitude when she confronted him about it.

Do you really think Derek would give up a habit (pot or tobacco) that easily for someone he met only a couple of days earlier?  No way.  He'd do what my brother-in-law did, sneak around and try to hide it after promising to give it up to her face.  Again, that's my opinion, but it's based on experience.

And no one is answering my question.  Why shouldn't she be allowed to make her decision early, if he violated a deal breaker term of hers that means a lot to her own sense of morals?  Would anyone here bashing her "stick it out" if you were forced to co-habitate with someone you just met, and right away did something that extremely offended you?  I sure wouldn't.  I'd be all over the producers, and leave.

Just like any other addiction, the addicted just doesn't quit because a stranger told them to quit. I have no feeling either way about Heather. All I know is that I would be livid if I were matched with someone who has addiction issues.

IA we didn't get and probably never will get her side of the story. She chose the 'high road' (as Derek put it ) and left the mess behind. I see all they do now is editing her to make Derek as the 'victim'. Its a price she has to pay for leaving early, or...a 'punishment' if you will...IMO. its not oh-so-different than Bach franchise who loves to throw any 'quitter'/walk out contestant under the bus with horrible edit. JMOAA

MAFSMinority wrote:

trfkah wrote:Everyone here is harping on him smoking pot. Heather admitted it on TV that after she ask him to stop on that one day, he stop.  Heather was not into this.

We don't know her history.  I try and relate it to my own experience with my brother-in-law.  He stayed with us over the summer 2-3 years ago.  He is a regular pot smoker, and I forbid him from using it in our house.  We have three kids, two of them small at the time, and besides my personal feelings on it, there was NO WAY I was going to let my kids be exposed to it.  He was very agreeable.  "yeah, yeah, sure, not a problem, of course I won't bring it in the house"  That's what he told us.  What was the reality?  I found out he still smoked every day, but would hide at the side of the house, or even go into his room, close the door, and smoke it up against the open window, careful to blow it all outside.  When confronted, he got highly aggressive and defensive.  Sound familiar?  This is very similar to how Derek replied to her, complete with the angry defensive attitude when she confronted him about it.

Do you really think Derek would give up a habit (pot or tobacco) that easily for someone he met only a couple of days earlier?  No way.  He'd do what my brother-in-law did, sneak around and try to hide it after promising to give it up to her face.  Again, that's my opinion, but it's based on experience.

And no one is answering my question.  Why shouldn't she be allowed to make her decision early, if he violated a deal breaker term of hers that means a lot to her own sense of morals?  Would anyone here bashing her "stick it out" if you were forced to co-habitate with someone you just met, and right away did something that extremely offended you?  I sure wouldn't.  I'd be all over the producers, and leave.

Derek is Derek, he isn't the brother in law. We are making too many assumptions. You are assuming he is an addict and he didn't stop when she asked. Even Heather attested to it that he stopped so why the doubts. If we are willing to give Heather the benefit of doubt abt her upbringing, we should be showing the same courtesy to Derek. They both have their faults. JMO

BTW let's not start the moral argument because Heather would never win.

The defense of him saying he quit when she asked him to is just not reasonable in my opinion.  What if he had been arrested in San Juan?  What if they were together and he got arrested would she have been arrested to?  I'm not willing to give up my career for somebody I just met.  Also, as far as the editing goes...we hear "she asked him on day two to quit and he did" and then we hear he "smoked every single day" how does one day equate to every single day?  We are being manipulated by editing, both statements can't be true.  Also, just the fact that he smoked (if it was indeed pot) even once shows clear immature judgment which btw is a byproduct of addiction.  I believe she took the high road and production is making her pay with a bad edit for not playing along with their game.  I'd be willing to bet she gets an annulment and not a divorce at out this one.  If he is a pot smoker she has grounds because they set her up with an addict and then tried to bully her into staying with him to save their precious show.  What they should have done is remove her from the situation and offer him addiction counseling to show that they really do care about their participants rather than just look at them as pawns to make money off of. If indeed Derek is a pothead.

momof2dogs wrote:The defense of him saying he quit when she asked him to is just not reasonable in my opinion.  What if he had been arrested in San Juan?  What if they were together and he got arrested would she have been arrested to?  I'm not willing to give up my career for somebody I just met.  Also, as far as the editing goes...we hear "she asked him on day two to quit and he did" and then we hear he "smoked every single day" how does one day equate to every single day?  We are being manipulated by editing, both statements can't be true.  Also, just the fact that he smoked (if it was indeed pot) even once shows clear immature judgment which btw is a byproduct of addiction.  I believe she took the high road and production is making her pay with a bad edit for not playing along with their game.  I'd be willing to bet she gets an annulment and not a divorce at out this one.  If he is a pot smoker she has grounds because they set her up with an addict and then tried to bully her into staying with him to save their precious show.  What they should have done is remove her from the situation and offer him addiction counseling to show that they really do care about their participants rather than just look at them as pawns to make money off of.

Let me clarify one things. She told him to quit on the 2nd day of honeymoon which was the fifth day of the marriage. That was when the balcony/beach fight happened.
He made a bad decision for even considering smoking on the honeymoon and she also made a bad decision of permitting him to do that when he asked for her permission since she was never ok with it. JMO

It would seem they were both set in their ways and nothing was going to change either of them. IMHO it is better that they just split and got it over with.