MAFS - Season 4 - Derek Schwartz - Heather Seidel

What I don't understand is, if you agree to do this show, then finish it. It's only a 6 week agreement, how bad could it possible be? I know some say, why prolong the inevitable, but they are making a television show, and you did agree to be a part of it. Even if you're not attracted to the person and don't see a "forever after" with them, can't you at least make a friendship out of it.

Max64 wrote:What I don't understand is, if you agree to do this show, then finish it.  It's only a 6 week agreement, how bad could it possible be?  I know some say, why prolong the inevitable, but they are making a television show, and you did agree to be a part of it.   Even if you're not attracted to the person and don't see a "forever after" with them, can't you at least make a friendship out of it.  

IA - that's the way I see it too, especially since we don't know how bad it was because we weren't told. Maybe after 6 weeks of giving it a shot, and really trying, and being cordial and showing some empathy to the guy you don't like, you would maybe learn more about yourself, and others.

What I find more disappointing than the show would have married Derek off to ANYONE is that producers have created an edit intended to leave some viewers wondering why Heather checked out AND that's ok to be married off to an habitual illegal drug user.

We know from previous The Knot articles that Heather and Derek got off to a great start and during the evening of the wedding, once in their hotel room, Derek asked if she'd mind if he smoked some pot. At the time, she didn't and, so, he did.

However, Derek soured her and their marriage when he proceeded to continue each day of their honeymoon by getting stoned until he stopped once she told him how much it bothered her.

The question of getting stoned centered to the term, "occasionally." Heather's understanding of the word meant not regularly and not often. She was stunned over his explanation of occasionally meaning once a week and that the reason he was getting stoned every day of their honeymoon was because he was on vacation. Vacation? Seriously?

Obviously, to viewers that "get it", most likely because we have pasts that have had forced us to "live it", or something similar, Derek is not one of those "occasional" pot smokers he portrayed himself to be.

Instead, he's one of those deeply involved in the 420 life, enough so that he didn't have a problem traveling with marijuana from Florida or purchasing more pot in Puerto Rico. Moreover, both in Florida and Puerto Rico, marijuana procession and consuming is illegal.

What's obvious to me is that this man hasn't the experience in life to understand that, by his age, the kind of marijuana habit he participates in isn't tolerable.

It's sad. All of it.

I'm sure those are you opinions, since you didn't state so, but because as a viewer I saw none of that, and obviously I'm one that doesn't get it. Can you post the link to The Knot where it indicates he smoked pot daily and purchased illegal substances from one state and brought it over to Puerto Rico? TYIA

Here's the link where he mentions she's an alcoholic. We actually see her playing drinking games, and is obviously drunk.

http://www.theknotnews.com/married-at-first-sight-recap-heather-derek-issues-12031

I can't believe we are still going on and on about the pot issue. DEREK STOPPED AFTER SHE ASKED. No one is perfect. If she were so perfect, she won't need this show to get married. I do belive she projected one of ex's issue on Derek and it's not fair.
One thing Heather said in the unfiltered interview is that Derek would try to make it work with anyone he was matched it. Isn't that what the show is about? Did she get on the wrong show? This isn't married to Mr Perfect. It's about committing to the process.
Most people on SM aren't pissed because Derek is perfect, it's because she never committed to the process. She quitted after 10days and closed off on day 5.

BTW Heather on Afterbuzz said her inside source said Heather was a trainwreck throughout the honeymoon.  I don't think she was mentally ready for this experiment.
https://youtu.be/JYh3nvN-LtY

It's all my opinion

Ruqibabe wrote:

albean99 wrote:IA, suzq. It seems they often do that on this show. I'm guessing that Heather doesn't conform to the party line and Derek does in his somewhat manipulative way. I'm thinking that she wants nothing to do with the show and that may be why Derek hangs out with the others. I haven't seen any pics of her with any of them unless I've missed something. JMO.

After the first episode, Heather hung out with Lillian and Sonia. She recently met with Sonia after her Asian trip. Sonia posted some pictures on snapchat.  She is definitely back. The girls are definitely closer to Derek

I wonder why.

The only things I can't believe are .. in no particular order ... that
1. this Doomed Pairing was put together in the first place
2. we were made to watch this simple story drag out over NINE episodes
3. the level of self-loathing for watching any of this show reaches new depths every week and
4. yet I still DVR and watch which explains #1 and #2 and which causes #3!

I disagree with the Derek gets a pass because he quit smoking (what we assume is pot but have no confirmation of), if he smokes it at all it shows a clear laps of judgment simply because it is illegal....end of story. As for the others hanging out with Derek, while I would have walked out on him the second he asked if lighting up is ok, and not even gone on the honeymoon, but I would have totally hung out with him as a friend, because he seems like he might fun to hang with when he's not acting like a butt hurt 14 year old girl.

momof2dogs wrote:I disagree with the Derek gets a pass because he quit smoking (what we assume is pot but have no confirmation of), if he smokes it at all it shows a clear laps of judgment simply because it is illegal....end of story. As for the others hanging out with Derek, while I would have walked out on him the second he asked if lighting up is ok, and not even gone on the honeymoon, but I would have totally hung out with him as a friend, because he seems like he might fun to hang with when he's not acting like a butt hurt 14 year old girl.

I don't understand the comment abt Derek being a 14yr old butt hurt girl. I believe when one is rejected and dumped on National tv, he is allowed to be butt hurt. I am even impressed that he is keeping it classy on SM.

Part 2 of the knot interview
http://www.theknotnews.com/married-at-first-sight-derek-wife-heather-decision-exclusive-13116

I think this interview is probably one of the better ones from the experts. I think it highlights that Heather was feeling battered by the whole process (Derek taking it too fast, responding with spite when bruised instead of letting her feel (imagine if he had just stepped back and said how can we start again and not expect anything like holding hands), and that Heather was unwilling to restart so it collapsed (at least that is what I got from the is interview). http://www.theknotnews.com/mafs-pastor-calvin-roberson-derek-heather-compatible-exclusive-13183

Ruqibabe wrote:

momof2dogs wrote:I disagree with the Derek gets a pass because he quit smoking (what we assume is pot but have no confirmation of), if he smokes it at all it shows a clear laps of judgment simply because it is illegal....end of story. As for the others hanging out with Derek, while I would have walked out on him the second he asked if lighting up is ok, and not even gone on the honeymoon, but I would have totally hung out with him as a friend, because he seems like he might fun to hang with when he's not acting like a butt hurt 14 year old girl.

I don't understand the comment abt Derek being a 14yr old butt hurt girl. I believe when one is rejected and dumped on National tv, he is allowed to be butt hurt. I am even impressed that he is keeping it classy on SM.

He fights like an immature child, lashing out and calling names and acting stupid instead of like an adult. When he went on and on and on and on about the surfing instructor, and then when he through a tantrum in front of everybody at the cave, he acts like a pmsing little girl IMO. I would never put up with anybody with that temperament. It's not conducive to any kind of communication.