MAFS - Season 4 - Derek Schwartz - Heather Seidel

Heather expected a man and got a child imo... Just saying

I could say the same, but vice versa IMO. She frustrated him, it was obvious. She frustrated me.

Funny how people see things so different

I don't think she was totally perfect either I mean, no one's perfect for gods sake but Derek must remind me of someone, somewhere along the line that got under my skin

I'm glad she opted to divorce. She may not be perfect. But IMO he was just a jerk. He reminds me of every petty manchild I have ever met. IMO she realized early on that they were matched for the drama, not for a relationship.

We should all be giving Heather credit.

She could have EASILY decided to keep up a charade of forcing it for the cameras for 6 weeks, despite knowing what her decision would be. Then we could complete this season with nothing but griping from her and acting like she's really giving it a chance. In other words, like Ashley last season.

I assume that ending it early means she forfeits her pay for the show. Like her or hate her, at least she accepts she just doesn't like him and is willing to walk away from it despite any monetary losses, and the high likelihood the show will edit her to be the callous one for "ruining" their TV experiment.


I might stop watching the show now. The train wreck makes for entertaining drama, but that's over now. Nick and Sonia annoy the hell out of me. She is way too whiny and over reacts to everything, and something about Nick just seems really insincere. Tom and Lillian are okay, but generally are pretty bland. Her getting upset about Tom not wanting to discuss kids after a whole 2 weeks of knowing her and considering it a potential deal-breaker makes her seem immature to me. Personally, I think they're exaggerating this angle though because otherwise they have nothing to really show on these two who otherwise get along perfectly, which makes their segments somewhat boring. I think next Tuesday will be my own decision day for my future with the show, .

albean99 wrote:IA, suzq. It seems they often do that on this show. I'm guessing that Heather doesn't conform to the party line and Derek does in his somewhat manipulative way. I'm thinking that she wants nothing to do with the show and that may be why Derek hangs out with the others. I haven't seen any pics of her with any of them unless I've missed something. JMO.

After the first episode, Heather hung out with Lillian and Sonia. She recently met with Sonia after her Asian trip. Sonia posted some pictures on snapchat. She is definitely back. The girls are definitely closer to Derek

MAFSMinority wrote:We should all be giving Heather credit.

She could have EASILY decided to keep up a charade of forcing it for the cameras for 6 weeks, despite knowing what her decision would be.  Then we could complete this season with nothing but griping from her and acting like she's really giving it a chance.  In other words, like Ashley last season.

I assume that ending it early means she forfeits her pay for the show.  Like her or hate her, at least she accepts she just doesn't like him and is willing to walk away from it despite any monetary losses, and the high likelihood the show will edit her to be the callous one for "ruining" their TV experiment.


I might stop watching the show now.  The train wreck makes for entertaining drama, but that's over now.  Nick and Sonia annoy the hell out of me.  She is way too whiny and over reacts to everything, and something about Nick just seems really insincere.  Tom and Lillian are okay, but generally are pretty bland.  Her getting upset about Tom not wanting to discuss kids after a whole 2 weeks of knowing her and considering it a potential deal-breaker makes her seem immature to me.  Personally, I think they're exaggerating this angle though because otherwise they have nothing to really show on these two who otherwise get along perfectly, which makes their segments somewhat boring.  I think next Tuesday will be my own decision day for my future with the show, .

I see your point but I disagree. She entered into a valid marriage, she simply can't say she just doesn't like him. There are 2 contracts both legally binding in play here. One the marriage contract and the other a contract she signed to be on this charade. JMO, but before the honeymoon, something was awry with them. She was already distant in the pictures. Is it awkward having to kiss a total stranger? Sure but you signed up for that and you should have thought about that before signing on the dotted line. While, he is not blameless in this mess, I think she was turned off by him long before the "smoking" and despite anything else he may have done happened that we were not shown, I think she was already on the side of get me out of here. I compare these two to Jamie and Doug, where she admittedly was totally turned off by him and she came around. Doug was a different kind of guy and his patience and cajoling won her over. Dereck is obviously no Doug, but, based upon what I saw, she had checked out before wheels up in the plane and the ice princess reigned. Again, JMO, and he is a little rough around the edges too.

GuardianAngel wrote:I would have liked to have seen an explanation from Heather. She sat there stone faced, and wanted out without saying why.

She got that edit for a reason IMO. Derek is getting a ton of SM support. If you're going to get involved in this type of experiment, IMO you at least try for the full 6 weeks. She obviously didn't want to give it another second of her time, and took off on a girls vacation so she wouldn't be around this epi.

That's fine if she just couldn't stand him, but she behaved like a child IMO. She could have been a whole lot more mature about it all and not like a spoiled brat. IMHO

IIRC Heather made a rather telling comment (to me) in an ITM after she had delivered her decision to get a divorce that made me think she was expecting some sort of Patrick Dempsey / George Clooney "hottie" as a match and instead got Derek, and IMO quickly determined he wasn't what she wanted and it all went downhill from there.

As nuts2uiam posted above - I think she checked out very early and IMO was looking for an ending before there was ever a real beginning.

sandyqcar wrote:Imo Derek's making an azz out of himself with his comments after the fact now. Gosh, doesn't this guy know when to shut his mouth omg.  All I can say is IMO he's young and I  sincerely hope after he watches himself over and over again it might finally sink in and he'll learn something from this experience.  Something that would improve him for his next relationship so IMO he wouldn't act like a immature high school girl over reacting and ranting and raving over anything and everything.  Again IMO Not everyone in this world enjoys drama or chaos or arguing.  

IMO this is exactly why she wanted out. IMO he is the kind of guy who will pick apart everything someone does. The surfing instructor, the cave, her text not being as long as his. IMO, Derek doesn't know when to stop or what is appropriate and what is inappropriate to say to another person. No one should be crying their eyes out on their honeymoon. IMO his continued behavior fanning the flames on social media, is proof that he can't let something go.

Ruqibabe wrote:

albean99 wrote:IA, suzq. It seems they often do that on this show. I'm guessing that Heather doesn't conform to the party line and Derek does in his somewhat manipulative way. I'm thinking that she wants nothing to do with the show and that may be why Derek hangs out with the others. I haven't seen any pics of her with any of them unless I've missed something. JMO.

After the first episode, Heather hung out with Lillian and Sonia. She recently met with Sonia after her Asian trip. Sonia posted some pictures on snapchat.  She is definitely back. The girls are definitely closer to Derek

Thanks, Ruqibabe. Their opinion of Derek doesn't change mine. The more I watch of him, the more I see someone who doesn't want to take responsibility for his own actions. He'd rather blame everything on Heather. She tends to withdraw when he lashes out instead of talking through things with him which of course doesn't help. They also seem to be a divisive couple among viewers. The comments I read after that interview Derek gave seemed to be either totally on his side or totally against him.

nuts2uiam wrote:  snipped

I see your point but I disagree.  She entered into a valid marriage, she simply can't say she just doesn't like him.  There are 2 contracts both legally binding in play here.  One the marriage contract and the other a contract she signed to be on this charade.  JMO, but before the honeymoon, something was awry with them.  She was already distant in the pictures.  Is it awkward having to kiss a total stranger?  Sure but you signed up for that and you should have thought about that before signing on the dotted line.  While, he is not blameless in this mess, I think she was turned off by him long before the "smoking" and despite anything else he may have done happened that we were not shown, I think she was already on the side of get me out of here.  I compare these two to Jamie and Doug, where she admittedly was totally turned off by him and she came around.  Doug was a different kind of guy and his patience and cajoling won her over.  Dereck is obviously no Doug, but, based upon what I saw, she had checked out before wheels up in the plane and the ice princess reigned.  Again, JMO, and he is a little rough around the edges too.  

I totally agree with you. I also agree she should bail if she didn't want to go any further, if she was totally disgusted with him, but for me, it's the way she handled everything. She was stoned face from the beginning and behaved strangely. Leaving him in the cave, playing drinking games as if nothing happened because she was obviously drunk IMO. She didn't give it a chance IMO and I too think it's because of what @Lucas15 mentions below. Derek's physical appearance was beneath her. That's the impression I was getting from her all along.

Lucas15 wrote: snipped..

IIRC Heather made a rather telling comment (to me) in an ITM after she had delivered her decision to get a divorce that made me think she was expecting some sort of Patrick Dempsey / George Clooney "hottie" as a match and instead got Derek, and IMO quickly determined he wasn't what she wanted and it all went downhill from there.

As nuts2uiam posted above - I think she checked out very early and IMO was looking for an ending before there was ever a real beginning.