MAFS - Season 4 - Derek Schwartz - Heather Seidel

I'm with you Jlccaz on all of the above.

I do think that Derek was completely in for the process, but doesn't know how to handle the rejection of his new wife. Instead of taking a page out of Doug Hehner's book, he retreats and resorts to name calling. On one hand, Heather signed up for this, so she should be trying to make it work. However, if I were her, I couldn't get past the zero attraction to him. If they are not compatible and not attracted to each other, I don't see how it can work.

jlccaz wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:

2observe wrote:I don't get how Derek is the bad guy and Heather is the saint.

I'm with you, I don't understand either but maybe I've missed something.

ohwhataday! wrote:Why are we automatically assuming that the "smoking" was pot?

@ohwhataday!

IIRC it's not an assumption but proven. Sorry I can't recall how it was confirmed. Someone else can explain and refresh my memory as well.

Fair enough, GA, speaking for moi only, I confess that he completely grosses me out as a TV Character, so I find myself as a female imagining "that" at the end of the aisle, lying in bed as a perfect stranger, lighting up on his honeymoon in front of a complete stranger, with TV cameras in the mix (who would do that by the way), and talking about his passion for his (loser/failed) rap career, and I am ever-after hopelessly biased in favor of the Chick. (what were they thinking?!)  I freely confess and embrace the bias.

IMO Heather finds Derek repulsive. Which I agree with. IMO, He hasn't done anything to even make her want to be friends with him. Personally, I would have walked out of the wedding if I had seen him at the end of the aisle.

I disagree about the Heather is a saint comment. I haven't seen anyone say anything remotely like that about her. I know I've said that she hasn't handled the whole thing well either. I thought that both Heather and Derek overreacted at times but ultimately him smoking is a deal breaker for her and it would be for me as well.

I don't particularly like Derek apart from that. He seems abrasive to me. Heather comes across as cold and rigid in her ways. Both could stand to learn something from this. All JMO.

So, when they mentioned he "smoked". I was like, yuck, I hate cigarette smoke on someone. I don't blame her, but she seems to be really repulsed by it, maybe even a little over board......UMMMMMMMMMMmmmm. OOOOOhhhh, that kind of smoking, Nope a deal breaker for me as well, and I'd be livid that I was matched up with someone who does drugs. As that's exactly how I see it. In addition, what about the future children, I wouldn't want them being exposed to that at such a young age, or influenced in that way. I don't blame her for being angry, she has every right to be. Can't they get decent guys? I watch the first season, the 2nd, not the third. I was shocked at what the the ladies in the 2nd season got, and now here we are 4th season, and the Producers are throwing this guy in the equations . Not good. I have to watch this season, as I want to know what happens, but then I'm done again.

IDK - I'm watching epi 5 now. I get Derek's point. She's just weird towards him and he's frustrated. They had a good time surfing, and exploring the cave, then she ups and leaves without saying anything to him.

I think he means it when he says he wants to make sure this works. I think they both need to take a different approach when discussing their issues.  I can see how she annoys him, she annoys me. At this point, so far, he really doesn't annoy me, however the pot smoking certainly would be an issue for me.

If I was really into him, I would be frank with him, have a conversation, calmly. I'm not a yeller and screamer type of person, that just pushes me away. I don't like dealing with that type of person because at that point, they have no common sense and aren't listening.

GuardianAngel wrote:IDK - I'm watching epi 5 now. I get Derek's point. She's just weird towards him and he's frustrated. They had a good time surfing, and exploring the cave, then she ups and leaves without saying anything to him.

I think he means it when he says he wants to make sure this works. I think they both need to take a different approach when discussing their issues.  I can see how she annoys him, she annoys me. At this point, so far, he really doesn't annoy me, however the pot smoking certainly would be an issue for me.

If I was really into him, I would be frank with him, have a conversation, calmly. I'm not a yeller and screamer type of person, that just pushes me away. I don't like dealing with that type of person because at that point, they have no common sense and aren't listening.

As to the bolded parts, I think Heather checked out fairly early in the process, def. by the time they got to Puerto Rico.  (She did ride that bike a half-mile ahead of him... )  And of course Derek wants to make it work - he's so out of her league and he knows it.  

I watched this episode and thought, RUN, HEATHER, RUN!!!  I can't see her even entertaining the thought of moving in with Derek.  

And as for possible damages based on her contract - they can't force you to co-habitate with someone who's using or keeping illegal drugs.  That'd be a counter-suit waiting to happen.  At this point, only the word "smoking" has been used but if she let the cat out of the bag in interviews that it was pot (can't remember how we found out, though) then that'd have some repercussions on them.  So easy way for them to wash their hands of the whole mess is to let her walk away, IMO.  AND it gives them a storyline they haven't dealt with before so bonus for them.  

cantstopwatchin wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:IDK - I'm watching epi 5 now. I get Derek's point. She's just weird towards him and he's frustrated. They had a good time surfing, and exploring the cave, then she ups and leaves without saying anything to him.

I think he means it when he says he wants to make sure this works. I think they both need to take a different approach when discussing their issues.  I can see how she annoys him, she annoys me. At this point, so far, he really doesn't annoy me, however the pot smoking certainly would be an issue for me.

If I was really into him, I would be frank with him, have a conversation, calmly. I'm not a yeller and screamer type of person, that just pushes me away. I don't like dealing with that type of person because at that point, they have no common sense and aren't listening.

As to the bolded parts, I think Heather checked out fairly early in the process, def. by the time they got to Puerto Rico.  (She did ride that bike a half-mile ahead of him... )  And of course Derek wants to make it work - he's so out of her league and he knows it.  

I watched this episode and thought, RUN, HEATHER, RUN!!!  I can't see her even entertaining the thought of moving in with Derek.  

And as for possible damages based on her contract - they can't force you to co-habitate with someone who's using or keeping illegal drugs.  That'd be a counter-suit waiting to happen.  At this point, only the word "smoking" has been used but if she let the cat out of the bag in interviews that it was pot (can't remember how we found out, though) then that'd have some repercussions on them.  So easy way for them to wash their hands of the whole mess is to let her walk away, IMO.  AND it gives them a storyline they haven't dealt with before so bonus for them.   :Huge smile:

My only disagreement with what you said, is that regardless of your feelings pro or con, pot smoking in Florida is a punishable offense as it is a drug. I think it would put them on unsure legal grounds if it were to go to court. If she continues, at least they have the grounds to say she continued and didn't leave when she had the opportunity and she was well aware of his pot smoking. They still may be on the hook, although not an attorney, I would imagine the crew was aware of this and she could make a case that they did nothing about an illegal activity. Either way, I don't get the feeling she is going to take this sitting down. That said, I will ask a question that may hold the answer to my statement. Did Jessica Castro ever sue? IF not, then I would almost guess that the show has all the cards, because if not she, then who would have legitimate grounds.

nuts2uiam wrote:

cantstopwatchin wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:IDK - I'm watching epi 5 now. I get Derek's point. She's just weird towards him and he's frustrated. They had a good time surfing, and exploring the cave, then she ups and leaves without saying anything to him.

I think he means it when he says he wants to make sure this works. I think they both need to take a different approach when discussing their issues.  I can see how she annoys him, she annoys me. At this point, so far, he really doesn't annoy me, however the pot smoking certainly would be an issue for me.

If I was really into him, I would be frank with him, have a conversation, calmly. I'm not a yeller and screamer type of person, that just pushes me away. I don't like dealing with that type of person because at that point, they have no common sense and aren't listening.

As to the bolded parts, I think Heather checked out fairly early in the process, def. by the time they got to Puerto Rico.  (She did ride that bike a half-mile ahead of him... )  And of course Derek wants to make it work - he's so out of her league and he knows it.  

I watched this episode and thought, RUN, HEATHER, RUN!!!  I can't see her even entertaining the thought of moving in with Derek.  

And as for possible damages based on her contract - they can't force you to co-habitate with someone who's using or keeping illegal drugs.  That'd be a counter-suit waiting to happen.  At this point, only the word "smoking" has been used but if she let the cat out of the bag in interviews that it was pot (can't remember how we found out, though) then that'd have some repercussions on them.  So easy way for them to wash their hands of the whole mess is to let her walk away, IMO.  AND it gives them a storyline they haven't dealt with before so bonus for them.   :Huge smile:

My only disagreement with what you said, is that regardless of your feelings pro or con, pot smoking in Florida is a punishable offense as it is a drug.  I think it would put them on unsure legal grounds if it were to go to court. If she continues, at least they have the grounds to say she continued and didn't leave when she had the opportunity and she was well aware of his pot smoking.  They still may be on the hook, although not an attorney, I would imagine the crew was aware of this and she could make a case that they did nothing about an illegal activity.  Either way, I don't get the feeling she is going to take this sitting down.  That said, I will ask a question that may hold the answer to my statement.  Did Jessica Castro ever sue?  IF not, then I would almost guess that the show has all the cards, because if not she, then who would have legitimate grounds.

I think Jessica sued Ryan and not the show. But the production company was subpoenaed for evidence, because her attorney wants the recording of Ryan threatening her. The show was trying to avoid handing over the recordings. Maybe someone else has more details of her case.

I enjoy this show and have read these comments. This is my overall take on this couple.

1) If Heather didn't want to be married to a smoker, even occasionally, then she should have mark that down on her application. She didn't.

2) Heather check out as soon he she saw him. She didn't find him attractive and that was the deal breaker.

3) Maybe I miss the part where he/she said the smoking was drugs but if it was drugs then she should of said that instead of smoking.

4) Derek from episode 1 was trying and knew what he got himself into, where she look like a deer in the headlights.

5) As far as Heather not wanting to hold hands etc. Besides being married to Derek, I have seen strangers dance in clubs that have had more contact then she wants. So I get where Derek is coming from about his hand holding comment with the surf guy. Her excuse of what should I do when he wants to hold my hand. Derek wanted to hold her hand and she was not into it. Again coming back to that attraction thing.

6) In the caves it look like they were making a connection. Then poof she is climbing the ladder back up. We don't know how much editing was done there but if your with someone and are having a good time, you are not thinking about the next couple wanting to come down. It was like she said to herself, I don't want to be here and I am out the door.

7) Then the only time when Heather opens up is after having a lot of alcohol. He is not a drinker and that turns him off.

8) I can't see how these people match these 2 people together. If I was both of these people, I would say this is over and get a divorce. Neither is right for each other.

I found her drinking game a little disgusting actually. That wasn't funny at all. She was making him chug his drink and it was obvious to me, she was half in the bag herself.

IA the cave date seemed to be going well, then, that's it, she's leaving. Derek said in his PI that he was upset that she up'd and left, so I don't think it was so much as editing, but what actually happened. I think he is frustrated at her lack of trying from the get go and her on off again behaviour.

All the contestants should be expected to say being married off to a substance abuser is a deal breaker and shame on Heather for not specifying as such, she's screwed and should suck it up, right?

What I'd like to know is since when is it the right thing to include and edit show as being married to a law breaking habitual stoner is reasonable?

He asked Heather for her permission to get loaded (again) the night of the wedding (as it is obvious he was loaded during the ceremony and still loaded during the photo period as he kissed her shoulder inappropriately and making her feel uncomfortable). He, then, proceeded to get stoned as the honeymoon proceeded until she finally let him know she didn't anticipate he would be starting each day by lighting up in the morning and he being continually stoned was not ok.

Yes, he stopped getting loaded --- for at least a short period of time during the honeymoon --- but then we watched the man bitch and whine about everything Heather while detoxing.

Addictions are a bitch and not cool in my opinion.

Newbie here!

First I don't understand why Derek is getting such a hard time when I honestly think Heather checked out of this marriage before she even walked down the aisle.   I'm not going to assume Derek was smoking pot because it is a story from a tabloid.  I felt Heather was a bit harsh when she brought up the issue she had with his smoking.  He stated that the habit was not an everyday habit and he was just cutting loose while on vacation.    I felt that Derek tried to have a conversation with Heather but she had checked out and he was growing more and more frustrated.   Heather isn't perfect... She did have a DUI 5 years ago...  Marriage is a serious commitment  and if you're not ready for that commitment than you shouldn't do it..   ***IMO***