MAFS - Season 4 - Derek Schwartz - Heather Seidel

Maybe I need to rewatch the honeymoon because I don't remember him having bad outbursts. Yes, he said things to the camera, about her getting drunk and not being a spring chicken, but I remember him going to her trying to talk to her about the smoking and she wasn't having any part of it.

I know he brought up the surf instructor, but I think the point he was trying to make is she was so closed off to him, the bike ride, the cave deal, she wouldn't dare touch him but was showing a complete stranger more affection. (if that makes any sense)

I can understand her being upset about the pot smoking. I blame the experts for that. I know people that smoke but don't drink. It doesn't bother me if people want to come home from work and do that instead of having a glass of wine, but to get up in the morning and smoke, I don't agree with that. I wouldn't want to be married to that.

This season is so different in the experts "matching" . Jamie had family issues, and trust issues so they put her with someone with a strong family foundation, and had the patience of an angel. Jason and Courtney, the same thing, family, firefighter background. This season it's like the purposely put couples together that have issues from the start.

I think it's idiotic to willing become dependent upon a drug, any drug ---including booze and pot --- and, obviously, this is the idiocy Heather is dealing with. When Derek is getting loaded, he's not present, can't keep up physically, for example during the bike ride, and whines like a young girl. When he abstains, we witness some of the gamut of typical withdrawal symptoms --- slow burning rage to constant irritability to sudden bursts of anger --- in the form of unreasonable jealousy and picking fights.

There must be much more to this story that we're not being told as to why they stuck Heather with the pothead, Derek. I would think, or maybe hope, there has to be history behind her allowing the kind of strength to be able to put up with a partner with substance abuse issues ...

I watched an earlier People magazine video where they referred to something to the effect of, will Heather be able to help Derek overcome his sense of failure? Seems that there is another dynamic to their relationship that has yet to come ...

I haven't read all the comments here, and have been half-heartedly watching the show after DVRing, but I am at a loss how these two ended up together. For the most part, I really see nothing wrong with Heather's actions, and see Derek as someone stuck in junior high or high school mode. I don't blame her one bit. I would want out too. I have seen her attempt to talk to him, and when things don't go his way, he is unable to handle a mature conversation. He's upset that the surf instructor held her hand, really? He resorts to insults and name calling when he is probably hurt and doesn't know how to express himself.

I have no doubt that Heather got pressure from production behind the scenes to drag things out. I have heard that contracts for reality shows can be very strict and have legal clauses in them as well -- they can edit a person however they want to because the participant signed that right away,too. It was highly speculated that both Season 2 and Season 3 (Season 2 was a total fiasco for all participants) both had couples on those shows where because the people did not click with each other -- they did not live together full-time during the six weeks. They would just show up to do the filming together that they needed to for the show and then go their separate ways for the next couple of days. This lasted until "the experiment" was over, their contract/obligation was done and they could separate and divorce permanently. I suspect this may well be what happens with Heather and Derek, too.

I don't get how Derek is the bad guy and Heather is the saint.

I think people are missing the boat with this couple, but the pastor nailed it. The experiment part of this show is to see if making a commitment to someone i.e. legally married, encourages people to work hard to make the relationship work. Its not necessarily seeing if the experts were right, it's seeing if people will work harder on a relationship because they are married.

Derek said yes, Heather will say no, being married does not mean I need to work on this.

IMHO they are both so "checked out" of this marriage there is no sense in going on with it and dragging it out the six weeks. I think they should just let them separate and go on with the other two couples. It is painful to watch.

IMO, the argument of who checked out first is moot. Clearly, the so called experts missed some very important markers that would have immediately tossed these two as compatible. I think Heather, has some problems with the overall match process from the beginning in addition. I "think" Derek was fully vested and actually more open to the whole program even til the last episode.

Her walls were up even during the photo session and I think he didn't have the foresight or patience to react like Doug Hehner did and woo his new wife when she rebuffed him. I am not making him out to be the angel in this mess, but I think the experts did the both of them a great disservice with this match.

Why are we automatically assuming that the "smoking" was pot?

Columbia, MD wrote:IMHO they are both so "checked out" of this marriage there is no sense in going on with it and dragging it out the six weeks.  I think they should just let them separate and go on with the other two couples.  It is painful to watch.

THIS. IA...

but are they / either of them allowed to go separate ways without violating the contract (by the 6 weeks mark)?
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eager to hear from someone in the know about this matter

2observe wrote:I don't get how Derek is the bad guy and Heather is the saint.

I'm with you, I don't understand either but maybe I've missed something.

ohwhataday! wrote:Why are we automatically assuming that the "smoking" was pot?

@ohwhataday!

IIRC it's not an assumption but proven. Sorry I can't recall how it was confirmed. Someone else can explain and refresh my memory as well.

GuardianAngel wrote:

2observe wrote:I don't get how Derek is the bad guy and Heather is the saint.

I'm with you, I don't understand either but maybe I've missed something.

ohwhataday! wrote:Why are we automatically assuming that the "smoking" was pot?

@ohwhataday!

IIRC it's not an assumption but proven. Sorry I can't recall how it was confirmed. Someone else can explain and refresh my memory as well.

Fair enough, GA, speaking for moi only, I confess that he completely grosses me out as a TV Character, so I find myself as a female imagining "that" at the end of the aisle, lying in bed as a perfect stranger, lighting up on his honeymoon in front of a complete stranger, with TV cameras in the mix (who would do that by the way), and talking about his passion for his (loser/failed) rap career, and I am ever-after hopelessly biased in favor of the Chick. (what were they thinking?!) I freely confess and embrace the bias.