MAFS - Season 4 - Derek Schwartz - Heather Seidel

Amberish wrote:What I read early on was that is wasn't a DUI. I stand corrected.

It was DUI/possession of substance. I don't want to repost the record.

Ruqibabe, you're right and thank you for correcting me.

This is the article Ruqibabe is eluding to for which Heather tweeted the the tongue and cheek admission that the In Touch story is the truth. There's a nuance within this piece that I thought came from somewhere else, but I'm wrong about that, too, and highlighted in bold below.

MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT' STARS DEREK SCHWARTZ AND HEATHER SEIDEL'S MARRIAGE ROCKED BY DRUG SCANDAL (EXCLUSIVE) (SPOILERS)

Aug 3, 2016 8:30AM | by In Touch Weekly

In Touch has learned that one of the unions on season four of the FYI reality series Married at First Sight went up in smoke — marijuana smoke! — not long after the couple exchanged vows.

Derek Schwartz revealed his penchant for pot to bride Heather Seidel on their honeymoon and a source reveals that after that “it all went downhill.”

Heather — who, as In Touch reported, was arrested for DUI In 2011 — feared Derek’s love of weed was going to become a big issue in her new life.

He asked her for permission to smoke and she said it was fine, but then she freaked out because she thought he did it too often during their honeymoon,” the source explains.

SPOILER ALERT: The couple split before the end of the season, not even making it to “decision day” when the show asks if they want to stay married or divorce.

“Heather refused to put up with his smoking," the source says. “Heather and Derek’s relationship was very short lived."

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/heather-seidel-derek-schwartz-married-at-first-sight-drug-scandal-109728

Amberish wrote:Ruqibabe, you're right and thank you for correcting me.

This is the article Ruqibabe is eluding to for which Heather tweeted the the tongue and cheek admission that the In Touch story is the truth.

MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT' STARS DEREK SCHWARTZ AND HEATHER SEIDEL'S MARRIAGE ROCKED BY DRUG SCANDAL (EXCLUSIVE) (SPOILERS)

Aug 3, 2016 8:30AM | by In Touch Weekly

In Touch has learned that one of the unions on season four of the FYI reality series Married at First Sight went up in smoke — marijuana smoke! — not long after the couple exchanged vows.

Derek Schwartz revealed his penchant for pot to bride Heather Seidel on their honeymoon and a source reveals that after that “it all went downhill.”

Heather — who, as In Touch reported, was arrested for DUI In 2011 — feared Derek’s love of weed was going to become a big issue in her new life.

He asked her for permission to smoke and she said it was fine, but then she freaked out because she thought he did it too often during their honeymoon,” the source explains.

SPOILER ALERT: The couple split before the end of the season, not even making it to “decision day” when the show asks if they want to stay married or divorce.

“Heather refused to put up with his smoking," the source says. “Heather and Derek’s relationship was very short lived."

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/heather-seidel-derek-schwartz-married-at-first-sight-drug-scandal-109728

She didnt admit that the intouch story was true. She admitted that the record were indeed hers.

Actually, I read a bit more into the tweet, being the reason she would not tolerate and bail on the marriage early on.

Amberish wrote:Actually, I read a bit more into the tweet, being the reason she would not tolerate and bail on the marriage early on.

True.. that's the same vibe I got. I blame her mostly for not communicating. If she hated it this much, why give him permission? Why not discuss it with him when she started feeling uncomfortable? I believe Derek when he said he was oblivious to her discomfort or her level of hatred for smoking until he watched the show.
Communication is key in this experiment.

Ruqibabe wrote:

Amberish wrote:Actually, I read a bit more into the tweet, being the reason she would not tolerate and bail on the marriage early on.

 

True.. that's the same vibe I got. I blame her mostly for not communicating. If she hated it this much, why give him permission? Why not discuss it with him when she started feeling uncomfortable? I believe Derek when he said he was oblivious to her discomfort or her level of hatred for smoking until he watched the show.
Communication is key in this experiment.

I think it's reasonable to say she didn't mind if he smoked pot the night of the wedding as two were unwinding. She said, he did, after all, tell her he was only smoked the stuff occasionally. However, didn't she say that it was that he continued and began each day --- you said 5 days --- with smoking that caused her annoyance and concern?

Also, the issue I have with the mention of "oblivious" is that in addition to her feelings, he also appears oblivious to telling Heather one thing and doing another. An "occasional" pot smoker does not smoke every week, much less every day, and certainly would not  begin each day with a joint.

So, in actuality, was it her hatred or his love of the drug that is of issue? I mean, I have yet to read anywhere where he admits, something to the effect of, "oops, I guess I wasn't being honest" or "oops, I had no idea I had that much of a problem with pot" ...

Frankly, I've come to believe the man was living the 420 lifestyle for so long that he's clueless and honestly didn't or doesn't know he has a problem. Like most pot smokers that I'm aware of with a "usage" issue, could be Derek doesn't quite understand where the problematic line is or that he's crossing it.

To clarify, what I mean by 420 lifestyle is that he regularly associates with like mined people who consider pot smoking --- regardless of how often --- a way of life. Those associations might also be considered a concern on their own, or at least to Heather they might have been.

RoxyDoxy wrote:Heather says there was more to the story than just the "smoking" and I believe her.  

IMO, I think there is a very good reason why production was willing to let her leave so early in the process. Perhaps Derek did something that bothered Heather so much that she told production that she would sue if they didn't let her go? Maybe she refused him sexually, and he went nuts? Maybe she saw him buying drugs?

And just maybe, production was quick to allow her to leave, because they didn't want a replay of what happened in S2 w/Jessica and Ryan D. ? Of course we will never know the real story and this is my crazy opinion. But this is how it struck me as a dedicated viewer from Day One!

I agree. IMO, the way he spoke to her was also a factor. I don't think anyone should be so upset by what is going on that they are crying that hard on their honeymoon. And I also think there is a possibility that there were additional things that were not shown. IMO the editing and conversations were very choppy. I don't like Derek. I don't like his behavior on social media. And I also don't like how he has been so quick to give interviews. Something about him is unsettling, IMO.

Amberish wrote:

nuts2uiam wrote:

Amberish wrote:

While I am sure there are additional factors that played into it.  JMO, but in my mind, she was simply unattracted to him from the start and that alone prevented her from being, "all in", from the actual ceremony and into the honeymoon.    For the purposes of this argument, and only that purpose, I will also suggest that if, in fact, pot was the problem, unless he smoked right before and reeked of the smell, at that point she could not have known he was a pothead.  Once again, this pot usage is all alleged, but, and I would feel deceived too.  If a marriage is not based upon truth, that makes it tough but, IMO, she was turned off by him the minute she met him and there was no hope for them, out of the gate.

No attraction or at best little attraction,  + her aversion to "smoking" = zero chance for success.

If I compare them to Doug and Jamie, while initially Jamie was adverse to his looks and not attracted to him, she saw something in him that was attractive and they are where they are now. For Heather, I think it was over before it started.

So what you're saying is that had Derek been better looking, had a better body, better clothing or serious money, she might have overlooked the smoking pot issue? Thus, there was no positive attribute, nothing, that might have aided Heather to overlook that he preferred being stoned than taking the opportunity time to get to know her and vice versa when he was not in an altered state?

Smoking pot IS off-putting and it takes a certain "type" to put himself, his family and the girl he married into the position that Derek chose to go. With all honestly, Derek must not have all that much life experience to not think his actions through and probably because he has spent a large part of his adult life "altered".

What amazes me is Derek is enjoying all this twitter attention, even to the extent of older women hoping he will be the next bachelor, all because the FYI network, owned by A&E which is 50% owned by ABC have been less than honest about what the issue between the two really was. Just imagine how different it would be if all the cards were on the table ...

No,  I am not suggesting that at all. Let me try to clarify.   I have maintained that she was simply unattracted to him from the beginning and that was such a major turn off that she could not get past it.  She seemed peeved with him in the pictures and my thinking is that even from the start this relationship was doomed.  As I said, unless she had reason to believe that he was a pothead between the ceremony and the pictures, she was already holding him at a distance. (she may have, but we don't know that). IMO, it started and ended there.  The alleged pot smoking was simply the escape route she could use to extricate herself from this mess. I do not condone drug use of any kind and certainly not illegal drugs and in no way am minimizing his alleged usage or her decision to divorce.  My comparison to Jamie was that as turned off as she seemed, there was something in her that told her they were matched for a reason and to give it a shot. Again, just my opinion but I think this union was doomed long before the smoking entered the picture. I don't believe that had there been no smoking at all, that they would still be together.  I hesitate to say he revolted her, but my thinking is close to those lines.

On another response.  A long time ago, I heard someone in public life say " Make a decision and take your stance and never apologize for that stance, it gets you nowhere and if people are going to talk they are going to talk.  I find her tweets now, attempting to justify her decision to the public.  She made her decision and there are always going to be the cheerleaders and the naysayers and posting things will not change the public opinion. She should simply say nothing.  That said, Dereck mentioned something about them still being on the show and I imagine that there is still a contractual agreement in place, although, if, there were illegal drugs, I would think she would have an air tight case against the network, the producers and the matchmakers.

I have edited this to add that He is certainly not blameless in all of this, not by a long shot. I would not tolerate being spoken to the way he spoke to her. He too has a lot to learn.

Ruqibabe wrote:

Amberish wrote:Actually, I read a bit more into the tweet, being the reason she would not tolerate and bail on the marriage early on.

 

True.. that's the same vibe I got. I blame her mostly for not communicating. If she hated it this much, why give him permission? Why not discuss it with him when she started feeling uncomfortable? I believe Derek when he said he was oblivious to her discomfort or her level of hatred for smoking until he watched the show.
Communication is key in this experiment.

IMO, it could be conditioning. IMO, many women are wary of speaking up early on and something builds until they cannot stand it anymore. And IMO, his perception may have been altered due to being high. IMO, he really didn't seem interested in listening to what she had to say. And at this point, again IMO, he seems more interested in having more people on his side then truly reflecting on how he could improve as a person.

jupitercornflakes wrote:

RoxyDoxy wrote:Heather says there was more to the story than just the "smoking" and I believe her.  

IMO, I think there is a very good reason why production was willing to let her leave so early in the process. Perhaps Derek did something that bothered Heather so much that she told production that she would sue if they didn't let her go? Maybe she refused him sexually, and he went nuts? Maybe she saw him buying drugs?

And just maybe, production was quick to allow her to leave, because they didn't want a replay of what happened in S2 w/Jessica and Ryan D. ? Of course we will never know the real story and this is my crazy opinion. But this is how it struck me as a dedicated viewer from Day One!

I agree. IMO, the way he spoke to her was also a factor. I don't think anyone should be so upset by what is going on that they are crying that hard on their honeymoon. And I also think there is a possibility that there were additional things that were not shown. IMO the editing and conversations were very choppy. I don't like Derek. I don't like his behavior on social media. And I also don't like how he has been so quick to give interviews. Something about him is unsettling, IMO.

David gave interviews every week last season. The relationship is already over so I don't understand why he can't give interviews.

jupitercornflakes wrote:

Ruqibabe wrote:

Amberish wrote:Actually, I read a bit more into the tweet, being the reason she would not tolerate and bail on the marriage early on.

 

True.. that's the same vibe I got. I blame her mostly for not communicating. If she hated it this much, why give him permission? Why not discuss it with him when she started feeling uncomfortable? I believe Derek when he said he was oblivious to her discomfort or her level of hatred for smoking until he watched the show.
Communication is key in this experiment.

IMO, it could be conditioning. IMO, many women are wary of speaking up early on and something builds until they cannot stand it anymore. And IMO, his perception may have been altered due to being high. IMO, he really didn't seem interested in listening to what she had to say.  And at this point, again IMO, he seems more interested in having more people on his side then truly reflecting on how he could improve as a person.

Could very well be.

Regardless, it appears that Heather knew exactly what she was saying no to, although I question that she would have anticipated being thrown under the bus by TPTB.

Ruqibabe wrote:

jupitercornflakes wrote:

RoxyDoxy wrote:Heather says there was more to the story than just the "smoking" and I believe her.  

IMO, I think there is a very good reason why production was willing to let her leave so early in the process. Perhaps Derek did something that bothered Heather so much that she told production that she would sue if they didn't let her go? Maybe she refused him sexually, and he went nuts? Maybe she saw him buying drugs?

And just maybe, production was quick to allow her to leave, because they didn't want a replay of what happened in S2 w/Jessica and Ryan D. ? Of course we will never know the real story and this is my crazy opinion. But this is how it struck me as a dedicated viewer from Day One!

I agree. IMO, the way he spoke to her was also a factor. I don't think anyone should be so upset by what is going on that they are crying that hard on their honeymoon. And I also think there is a possibility that there were additional things that were not shown. IMO the editing and conversations were very choppy. I don't like Derek. I don't like his behavior on social media. And I also don't like how he has been so quick to give interviews. Something about him is unsettling, IMO.

David gave interviews every week last season. The relationship is already over so I don't understand why he can't give interviews.

I don't agree with that either. IMO David was very interest interested in acting like he was so hurt by what happened, so that he could win over the audience. And since he is getting another show on FYI, something I personally am against due to his history, it clearly worked. IMO, the person who can stop talking was the one who did the most damage and that is why they are so interested in getting in front of the story. IMO, Heather did the right thing in staying off SM for awhile, and I can't blame her given the level of harassment leveled at her. IMO, her recent tweets were well thought out, despite a certain twitter and Instagram account claiming otherwise.