The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - ATFR - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* #3

Lucas15 wrote:snipped..

Ben Higgins: Definitely, yeah, so I sat down with Neil Lane and had a couple of ideas of what I wanted to pick out. And then he just kind of asked about Lauren. He said, "Who is she? What stood out to you about her?" And I told him. I said, "You know, the moment she walked out of the limo, she caught my eye." And he said, "Well, what ring here catches your eye first?" And I looked down, and that was the ring sitting right there. It was shining, sparkling bright. I said, "Okay, this is it!" He goes, "I think that's the best choice." So that's what we did.

I think everyone needs to draw their own conclusions about the lead's blogs; sometimes I think they will give interesting supplemental information (like the fact that there were rattlesnakes all over the mountain top on Ben and Lauren's first 1-1 date) but other times they are going to simply support the storyline and edit to make it seem more believable - even if reality could be quite different and for me I am going to take a lot of things in the blogs with a grain of salt.
JMHO

GuardianAngel wrote:

Lucas15 wrote:snipped..

Ben Higgins: Definitely, yeah, so I sat down with Neil Lane and had a couple of ideas of what I wanted to pick out. And then he just kind of asked about Lauren. He said, "Who is she? What stood out to you about her?" And I told him. I said, "You know, the moment she walked out of the limo, she caught my eye." And he said, "Well, what ring here catches your eye first?" And I looked down, and that was the ring sitting right there. It was shining, sparkling bright. I said, "Okay, this is it!" He goes, "I think that's the best choice." So that's what we did.

I think everyone needs to draw their own conclusions about the lead's blogs; sometimes I think they will give interesting supplemental information (like the fact that there were rattlesnakes all over the mountain top on Ben and Lauren's first 1-1 date) but other times they are going to simply support the storyline and edit to make it seem more believable - even if reality could be quite different and for me I am going to take a lot of things in the blogs with a grain of salt.
JMHO

I listened to that interview or it could have been another one, the other day, and he was careful not to mess up the storyline. He said it looked like he didn't know who he was going to choose then lowered his voice and said but I did know, paraphrasing. That's a perfect example of who really writes the blogs, maybe not all of it, but they certainly are told what to write, or it's edited the way they want it to read.

IMO they are very level headed, Lauren does most of the talking. She is very composed, speaks well and gets her point across. Ben most times sits there and stares at her. He makes it very clear, she's the only one.

I can understand why he was quite the day of the ATFR. He said it best when he said, he's disconnected from that guy on the show. He's not that guy. IMO he was probably reflecting, and knew he had to get through one more segment of being that guy on the show.

bleuberry wrote:I liked what Ben said on the Today Show. Lauren asking about his silence in the car ride and double checking (is he tired or upset?) tells you how much figuring out these couples need to do post show. Not even the safehouse visits prepare them for real life, and she's trying to figure out how to read her man , good for her. 

Still, I feel like their 'road' will be slightly easier than the last several couples, especially since they are establishing a home base quickly. It's funny, theyre so young, I didn't expect them to have their heads on so straight! I'm realizing I like boring, low key, and nice, vs what the franchise has given us lately .

ForeverLove wrote:I personally don't think they have a long road ahead of them .There's something about presenting yourself honestly aka being true to yourself. I think Lauren and Ben did this for the most part. During the SHV's, they built upon that knowledge and relationship. It's during this SHV's where couples find out just how compatible they are or realize they're not. Ben and Lauren to me are the first part. They realized just how much more they fit. She's very athletic as stated in her recent periscope interview posted in the fan thread . She played several sports in school and enjoys golf which is one of Ben's favorite thing to do. They have so much in common . Ben stated in one of his commentaries about Jojo, it's not going to be easy, but it's going to be real. The not going to be easy part struck me. These two have the kind of personality to go at each other . Maybe kinda opposite types. Opposites might attract but it's not always good for every relationship . Maybe it wouldn't have been good for Ben and Jojo long term.

With Lauren, they had fewer personality clashes thus things went smoother. Ben said it was too good to true. After their engagement, their love was tested by his admissions to Lauren. That could have broke them early on. But they showed they are good communicators to have worked things out. Probably made them stronger. With Lauren, they complement each other and that's what many other relationships are built upon. Because who they were on the show has been the same as off the show , their relationship has accelerated. When/if Jojo finds her man, you'll realize why it wasn't meant to be with Ben. You'll see what it looks like when a guy loves her fully. Her real test is when the cameras are turned off. Will they make it ? Thus far , Ben and Lauren has shown they have, and it doesn't look like things are going to change anytime soon. Looks like what they have is very real. Jhmo .

soccermom333 wrote:I just watched the today show segment with Kathie Lee, and Ben said something strange.  He said Lauren asked him why he was so quiet and was not talking on the day of the ATFR.  He said he was just tired.  Lauren was concerned enough to bring it up.  I do believe he was tired but I believe it was more than that.  

I bring this up because these two have a hard road ahead.  I think it is great he turned down DWTS, and they get back to real life as soon as possible.  I believe Ben is missing being the center of attention, he had/has mixed feelings about JoJo and he is/was just trying to navigate through them.  I know he loves Lauren and I know he made the right decision but seeing Jo probably threw him for a loop.  This takes nothing away from Lauren, just must have been a confusing time.  I also heard he had no idea it was going to be Jo as the bachelorette.  

 

AP: Ben, when JoJo Fletcher was named the new "Bachelorette," did it make you feel less guilty about breaking her heart?

Higgins: I'm excited for JoJo. I am. I think what we had was a great thing. Did I feel guilty for having those feelings for her? No. Do I feel guilty for exploring those feelings for her? No. But now that she is the Bachelorette, she has the opportunity to find somebody like I found Lauren. I think JoJo will see if it's still confusing at all to her how this whole thing happens when you do have so many thoughts and feelings and emotions and thoughts and relationships and decisions coming to your head all at once. She'll see, 'OK, I see how Ben was just conflicted and torn and it was so hard.' But, I think JoJo is gonna do great.

veg_out wrote:

soccermom333 wrote:I just watched the today show segment with Kathie Lee, and Ben said something strange.  He said Lauren asked him why he was so quiet and was not talking on the day of the ATFR.  He said he was just tired.  Lauren was concerned enough to bring it up.  I do believe he was tired but I believe it was more than that.  

I bring this up because these two have a hard road ahead.  I think it is great he turned down DWTS, and they get back to real life as soon as possible.  I believe Ben is missing being the center of attention, he had/has mixed feelings about JoJo and he is/was just trying to navigate through them.  I know he loves Lauren and I know he made the right decision but seeing Jo probably threw him for a loop.  This takes nothing away from Lauren, just must have been a confusing time.  I also heard he had no idea it was going to be Jo as the bachelorette.  

 

Great post! I've waited a few days to deconstruct the season in an effort not to disrupt the post-finale love, yet I do see a few things in their interviews that indicate that they will need to do some work to make it.

I watched this interview and was surprised at Ben's face when Lo was talking about Jo:


Equally, Ben has refined his response to Jo being the Bachelorette. He initially said that he didn't want to watch it:

AP: Ben, when JoJo Fletcher was named the new "Bachelorette," did it make you feel less guilty about breaking her heart?

Higgins: I'm excited for JoJo. I am. I think what we had was a great thing. Did I feel guilty for having those feelings for her? No. Do I feel guilty for exploring those feelings for her? No. But now that she is the Bachelorette, she has the opportunity to find somebody like I found Lauren. I think JoJo will see if it's still confusing at all to her how this whole thing happens when you do have so many thoughts and feelings and emotions and thoughts and relationships and decisions coming to your head all at once. She'll see, 'OK, I see how Ben was just conflicted and torn and it was so hard.' But, I think JoJo is gonna do great.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/tv/ct-bachelor-couple-ben-and-lauren-interview-20160316-story.html

He's expressing support for her without diminishing his feelings.

Something that has always stood out to me in Ben's blogs and interviews about the two ILYs: Ben has never retracted his feelings for JoJo. He's not said in any way that he didn't love her. If we listen to his words to her at the ATFR, he affirmed her very emphatically, "I will never regret having you a part of my life. I just wanted you to know that the things I said, the things I expressed were never taken lightly in my book. I did, I cared about you, and in a sense, I always will. I want what's best for you forever, and that won't be taken away."

That's not to say that Ben has not made it clear that he is now singularly focused on Lauren. I agree, though, that the guy is processing so much at the moment. He is a very sensitive, emotional guy, which I appreciate, so I can imagine that he's on overload at the moment. He'll soon discharge all of his feelings from that experience as he and Lauren build their life. It'll become a hazy memory.

I have a lot of hope for Lauren and Ben. I'm enjoying seeing both BenLo and Jo's paths post-show.    

bleuberry wrote:I highly doubt Ben didn't know JoJo was getting the gig, or that chances were high that she would be picked. If he wasn't sequestered all weekend, the rumours were out there.

GuardianAngel wrote:

snip ...

I listened to that interview or it could have been another one, the other day, and he was careful not to mess up the storyline. He said it looked like he didn't know who he was going to choose then lowered his voice and said but I did know, paraphrasing. That's a perfect example of who really writes the blogs, maybe not all of it, but they certainly are told what to write, or it's edited the way they want it to read.

snip ...

GuardianAngel wrote:I can understand why he was quiet the day of the ATFR. He said it best when he said, he's disconnected from that guy on the show. He's not that guy. IMO he was probably reflecting, and knew he had to get through one more segment of being that guy on the show.

Fingersandtoes wrote:

bleuberry wrote:I highly doubt Ben didn't know JoJo was getting the gig, or that chances were high that she would be picked. If he wasn't sequestered all weekend, the rumours were out there.

Of course he knew. I bet someone might have 'jokingly' asked him if he wants to dump Lauren and go pursue JoJo. They'd love that sl.