The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - ATFR - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* #3

I don't know if Ben and Lauren will make it to the altar or not. And honestly I don't think anybody can know right now. We've had couples so much in love (Andi and Josh for example) that didn't make it even if some were convinced they would get married. Some were even in denial when they split.
My biggest concern for Benlo is the very dark cloud above their head.
Jojo's memory in Ben's head. And no, it's not a typical F2 situation. The guy was admittedly crazy in love with her and really crushed when saying good bye. You could see and feel that the emotion/feelings were still there at the ATFR. Of course, when asked, he is not going to say that he still feels something for Jojo. Who would say that when having your fiancée around?
But one day, after a fight with Lauren (all couples fight one time or another), he will certainly wonder if he made the good choice, and Lauren will always wonder if he's not going to regret his choice one day. It's for sure an unusual situation, especially when the bachelor was in love with his F2.
IMO.

Yes ^ I haven't seen much—ATFR and Kimmel—but she does seem happy and does actually seem sweet (I wish I saw that while watching their season). I personally could not do it because I am not that strong but I wish them well.

I think the fact that JoJo is ready to be the Bachelorette makes it all that much easier to close the JoJo and Ben chapter of the Bachelor experience for both Lauren and Ben.  I watched several of their interviews today and I have a very good feeling about these two IRL.  They seem well suited to one another and look absolutely stunning as a couple.  JoJo is a thing of the past.  Ben and Lauren are living in the here and now and looking to the future and a life together.  They spoke about how their families are already blended.
JoJo is on to her new journey as Bachelorette.  She obviously is living in the here and now too...and looking for her future in the 25 men that are comprising her cast.  Everyone is happy and things turned out as they were meant to be.  

JMO

I doubt there's any 'dark cloud of JoJo' hanging over them. They seem to able to communicate, and express their feelings. And to be real, he spent about one week worth of time with JoJo. After the show ended it's easy to remove yourself from the bubble and just move on. Ben has had previous relationships he's moved on from, same with Lauren.

Personally I didn't see these feelings and emotions for JoJo at AFTR, either.

Jmo.

These are all shallow relationships in a bubble, not deep and meaningful ones. None of this is real love while on the show. Infatuation or lust? Sure. Love? Nah. How can it be in this kind of situation when you're on camera almost 24/7 with very little time alone together and always have other people around who are constantly manipulating you? It's not natural or all that real. Every successful couple will tell you they really fell in love after the show.

This isn't even nearly the worst F2 situation that has happened in the history of the show. At least Ben actually chose Lauren over JoJo. Jason only chose Molly after choosing Melissa first and getting engaged to her. He too was "in love" with two women. Desiree only chose Chris after Brooks broke up with her and she was "in love" with him too. Are there dark clouds hanging over these two couples? I doubt it. The folks actually involved in these situations aren't the ones who can't move on. For me it's not something I'd want to be involved in but I don't think these folks take this all nearly as seriously as the viewers do.

JMO.

When asked about who to invite to their wedding Ben talked about Sean & catherine and Des & Chris. I think they are very similar to these couples, they all seem very normal, down to earth kind of people (maybe not the most funny to watch because of that but in my opinion that better their odds). I also really like the fact that they will get away from the fame and LA, that also better their odds of making it.

What I saw at the ATFR is a continuation of the Benlo love story that I witnessed and believed in throughout the show. I do agree that I saw some stress on Ben's face but the stress seems to be emanating from the continued pummeling of TPTB of the double ILY, which is the toughest issue Ben had to deal with Lauren.

What Ben said during the LCD is that he has not dealt with tough issues yet with Lauren. I'm sure that's changed now. I really believe they have a good shot in making it. The fact that Ben declined DWTS and want to focus on his relationship with Lauren is a good sign. Lauren, on the other hand, remains to be graceful and poised throughout the circus.  Such a class act!  She seems like much more comfortable now that she's the only one in his life and that fear and uncertainty is no longer there.  As VO said, Lauren is a first child so she comes off more mature because she must have taken care of all her siblings while Ben is an only child who is used to getting all the attention. IMO, they complement each other. They just fit. My most favorite part was when the families came out. The fact that they both had the families there (which I have not seen before in an ATFR) is pretty encouraging. They seem to all like each other.  

Jojo and Ben would have competed for attention with each other. Jojo being the youngest child and used to a world where everything revolves around her is very similar to Ben's only negative trait of me me me. Jojo said it herself...she hates competing with someone.

By the way, I watched the episode but didn't see Ben's mom's comment about Jojo during the MTP.  Did I miss it?  

Also, that scene of Ben on the couch which people sleuthed to no end because most people thought he said a very emotional ILY, was not really ILY.  

Speaking of Jojo, her launch was so fake.  As if it's her first time to hear that she's the Bachelorette when the entire season, she was auditioning for that role through her SM posts and possibly that manufactured double ILY story was part of her audition for all we know. From her kind of ho-ish outfit to her seemingly fake tan, to her very understanding take on Ben is all part of this well-planned launch yet she pretended to be looking towards where CH was pointing.

You can tell how different Lauren and Jojo are based on the outfit choices of Lauren and Jojo, which (I assume) was not chosen for them by a stylist. Lauren had a Grace Kelly vibe while Jojo is very Kardashian. Apparently, she feels good when her boobs are hanging out so the kind of guys she will attract during her season are the likes of Juan Pablo and Brooks.  Just all my opinion.

bluwavz wrote:This isn't even nearly the worst F2 situation that has happened in the history of the show. At least Ben actually chose Lauren over JoJo. Jason only chose Molly after choosing Melissa first and getting engaged to her. He too was "in love" with two women. Desiree only chose Chris after Brooks broke up with her and she was "in love" with him too. Are there dark clouds hanging over these two couples? I doubt it. The folks actually involved in these situations aren't the ones who can't move on. For me it's not something I'd want to be involved in but I don't think these folks take this all nearly as seriously as the viewers do.

^^^^ This

I always try to remember - this is a reality TV show - IMO it has small shreds of reality and a whole lot of scripted. At the end, the lead is always seen as conflicted and unable to choose until the last minute and this is, IMO, a key part of getting the viewers invested in the differences in their opinions because that gets them talking and that gets them watching and buying tabloids and that's good for "business". Rarely - if ever - does the conflict shown affect anyone in real life afterwards because, IMO - it was never real for them in the first place - it was a role and a situation they were put in to make the ending seem to be what the producers wanted the ending to be.

To some extent, even after the FRC and ATFR have aired, the people involved have to continue to play some sort of role and will rarely come out and say "Well that was all an act" (though a few actually have); the show needs them to perpetuate the myth as shown on TV. Their reality knows better and they moved on 4 months ago. Unfortunately they do have to relive that to a brief extent in the finale week and first round of interviews because they get asked about it. I've seen nothing to suggest this is a problem for either Ben or Lauren.
JMHO

SarahD wrote:By the way, I watched the episode but didn't see Ben's mom's comment about Jojo during the MTP.  Did I miss it?

I don't think you missed it - I never saw it either. It makes me wonder if Amy might have actually done two similar ITMs - one in which she liked JoJo and one in which she liked Lauren and the show decided which one they were going to use and how; they ended up using the JoJo clip in a preview but not in the show.

ETA - It's also possible that at the time Amy did that ITM she didn't know who Ben was going to pick and she might have been told he was going to pick JoJo.

JMHO

SarahD wrote:
By the way, I watched the episode but didn't see Ben's mom's comment about Jojo during the MTP.  Did I miss it?  

Also, that scene of Ben on the couch which people sleuthed to no end because most people thought he said a very emotional ILY, was not really ILY.  

Sometimes, they include video of an interaction in the previews and it never makes it to air. I think that the above two instances are examples of such. I also don't think it's hilarious that people sleuthed the couch and the ILY scene. That's what the board does.

Miyala wrote:When asked about who to invite to their wedding Ben talked about Sean & catherine and Des & Chris. I think they are very similar to these couples, they all seem very normal, down to earth kind of people (maybe not the most funny to watch because of that but in my opinion that better their odds). I also really like the fact that they will get away from the fame and LA, that also better their odds of making it.

Which interview was this in? I probably missed it as I've only watched the Aol one and the People one? TIA

You can tell how different Lauren and Jojo are based on the outfit choices of Lauren and Jojo, which (I assume) was not chosen for them by a stylist. Lauren had a Grace Kelly vibe while Jojo is very Kardashian. A




Sorry, I have to disagree. Did you happen to see how she dressed on Jimmy Kimmel? She has also worn many slit up the side dresses and daisy dukes...short shorts just like the rest of them.

Love lauren though and wish her the best.