Re: The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - F1 to F4 - *Sleuthing - Spoilers* - #2

by SarahD Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:25 pm

IRL, some people have multiple relationships (perhaps not at the same time) before getting married and those relationships are all different and each person they've been with may have some quality that they won't find in the one they end up marrying. Love is not just a feeling, it's a choice (even in real life). You choose to stay with the person you can't live without.

Anyway, as some people have said, I also think that this torn between two lovers was a theme they decided at the beginning of Bachelor 20 (probably given the number 2 there giggling

) and the producers did not tell Ben straight up to tell two people he loves them but manipulated the situation that got him to that position. The time is so compressed in the bubble that all feelings are perhaps magnified. It's been Lauren from the beginning IMHO but at some point the comfort level and friendship Ben had with Jojo magnified his feelings to love that he also needed to sort it out. I don't think he's truly conflicted and that Lauren is a last minute choice or a choice by his mom. He needed to process what he had with Jojo to get to what he's always felt for Lauren, which in Ben's own words is "the closest thing to love at first sight." JMHO

by Guest Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:29 pm

sosleepy wrote:

Molly got past Jason with Melissa
Chris got past Des' and her Brooks obsession
Shawn got past Kaitlyn and Nick

by Guest Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:30 pm

And surely, Lauren HAS gotten past Jo :yes:

by rhondam Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:32 pm

If it were me, it wouldn't be melodramatic and I wouldn't do it but I'm not saying I am extremely confident either. I thought that is what I said above?.

Anyway, yes you are right it is only accelerated weeks, which would equate to what—in RL? Only a blip.... Good for all the past F1s and leads that are able to get past it all.

by Bullwinkle Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:36 pm

ForeverLove wrote:Also, if it's true that F2 doesn't get angry, and that she understood, per that article that was posted here , could it be said she was blindsided ? That has got me thinking if it goes down like that. So many questions.

Could someone please tell me where to look for this article? TIA

by Cocoasneeze Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:36 pm

I hope Ben is being sincere with his proposal, and if he is, the F1 can rely on the fact that in this short period of time, out of all the amazing women, he found her to be the one he couldn't let go of.

I sort of see this show and the relationships as a holiday romance. Most of them end up being fun memories, but once in a while the person you meet ticks all your boxes, and you try to continue the relationship in real life.

Also, Ben has been in love before, gotten over it and them/her. Why wouldn't he get over a bachelor bubble love, someone he spent about one week with in real time?!

by sosleepy Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:41 pm

Ladybug82 wrote:Eh... While I personally didn't like his spouting I love you to various people, it's a show and they're all in the bubble. IMO, it's not love, it's infatuation, manipulation and a lot of manufactured feelings at this point with any and all of them. Basically, the slate starts clean and these people actually start a relationship in real life as soon as the AFTR airs. IMO, that's when and where feelings develop, emerge, solidify and lead to or you realize that you know absolutely nothing about this person and don't want to and end it . We've heard similar before from multiple past leads.

I do think we see some start the initial attraction and relationship beginning on the show, on the rare occasion we get to see a real love story begin, and in some cases are luck enough to get to see it turn into a life (Ashley and JP, Des and Chris, Sean and Catherine, etc.)

Ben said he was truthful about it all with his F1. I'm sure it hurt and stung some, but if they're both confident in themselves, each other and truly want to be together, his F2 will quickly become a distant memory. Not to dimension what they had, but the amount of time they spent together was less than a week IRL. If he and his F1 are truly meant to be, she'll be the one he turns to, wants, needs and completes him. JMOAA.

Yes! THIS! All of this! thumbsup

by Guest Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:42 pm

Bullwinkle wrote:
ForeverLove wrote:Also, if it's true that F2 doesn't get angry, and that she understood, per that article that was posted here , could it be said she was blindsided ? That has got me thinking if it goes down like that. So many questions.

Could someone please tell me where to look for this article? TIA

http://www.inquisitr.com/2860764/inside-bachelor-ben-higgins-proposal-the-ring-the-heartbreak-the-final-rose-drama/

by Longhornfan Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:43 pm

Seabear wrote:Just because someone is blindsided just not mean they immediately lash out in anger. Perhaps she was just trying to pacify the situation so she could escape to the safety of her room and the consoling from her loved ones via a phone call. I have not doubt that in that moment the F2 is going to be heartbroken

I know if it was me.....I would want to get away from Ben and the crew as fast as possible and be by myself to process my sadness with the people who truly love me....ie my family.

JMO

I agree. It depends on the individual and how they deal with heartache. Ben gave JoJo plenty of "validation" in her mind, told her that he "loved" her on numerous occasions, and she let her guard down. Maybe she was simply unable to process what was happening to her in that moment. I have heard many of the F2's say that they were embarrassed, felt extremely foolish, and they simply couldn't get out of there fast enough. When you go through the grief process, anger is not necessarily the first thing that a person feels. It can surface much later on....again, depending on the individual.

Therefore, IMO JoJo was simply unable to fully grasp why things went so "wrong" for her at the FRC - until she gave herself the time and space to actually process it. There is no right way or wrong way to deal with heartache. IMO JoJo seems to be a very positive person in real life, so I can see her taking the high road, and not lashing out at Ben during the FRC. Fight or flight? She chose flight rather than an angry confrontation.

by SarahD Mon Mar 07, 2016 5:14 pm

Can anyone who come into the show really claim to have been blindsided or ask not to be blindsided when they know full well the premise of the show, which is dating multiple people at the same time? If there is malicious intent then probably but if the lead is really compartmentalizing and exploring each relationship to the best they can, then no one can claim blindside.

Only he viewing public can claim blindside because there is malicious intent on the producers to edit everything for you to believe one thing when it's really a different outcome.

I don't want to be blindsided so I tried to look for clues that it's a different outcome than what I am hoping for!

by Nibbles22 Mon Mar 07, 2016 5:26 pm

SarahD wrote:Can anyone who come into the show really claim to have been blindsided or ask not to be blindsided when they know full well the premise of the show, which is dating multiple people at the same time? If there is malicious intent then probably but if the lead is really compartmentalizing and exploring each relationship to the best they can, then no one can claim blindside.

Only he viewing public can claim blindside because there is malicious intent on the producers to edit everything for you to believe one thing when it's really a different outcome.

I don't want to be blindsided so I tried to look for clues that it's a different outcome than what I am hoping for!

Imo, JoJo and Ben displayed feelings of love with one another, including verbalizing those feelings. Both intimately, and verbally. This is NOT a common practice with leads. Most leads wait (as instructed) until the proposal before they verbalize their feelings. Undoubtedly, Ben was strongly urged (IMO) to tell both women how he was feeling, giving production exactly the outcome of this ~~mess~~ proposal, they were hoping for ~ which is one of these girls to be completely blindsided. How could she NOT be blindsided?? Virtually the day before she and Ben were saying ILY to one another. The next day she spends preparing herself for the best day of her life, only to be told, sorry, I love someone else more. This is NOT a pretty picture no matter how you look at it. no no

by Guest Mon Mar 07, 2016 6:24 pm

Seabear wrote:Just because someone is blindsided just not mean they immediately lash out in anger. Perhaps she was just trying to pacify the situation so she could escape to the safety of her room and the consoling from her loved ones via a phone call. I have not doubt that in that moment the F2 is going to be heartbroken

I know if it was me.....I would want to get away from Ben and the crew as fast as possible and be by myself to process my sadness with the people who truly love me....ie my family.

JMO

I'm loving all the discussion in this thread soooo much I can't even begin to quote all the great comments I want to so I'll just keep reading and liking but to the bolded I wanted to add that Jojo (assuming it's her) has been classy and mature all season so even though I think she will be shocked (either woman would be at this point) I don't think that means she def will be angry or confrontational with Ben. I think she'll be classy as always, IMO.

If I was F2 and had been told ILY plus all the other confidence boosters Ben (and I'm sure producers) have given her, I'd react most like Linsay Yenter I think and like the bold above. Whatever, I'm done, shoes off and out :Nod: . A guy who did all that reassuring to me just to pick someone else would be someone I'd get over and realize wasn't the person for me pretty darn fast. JMO.

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The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - F1 to F4 - Sleuthing - Spoilers - #2

Re: The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - F1 to F4 - Sleuthing - Spoilers - #2

Re: The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - F1 to F4 - Sleuthing - Spoilers - #2

Re: The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - F1 to F4 - Sleuthing - Spoilers - #2

Re: The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - F1 to F4 - Sleuthing - Spoilers - #2

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Re: The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - F1 to F4 - Sleuthing - Spoilers - #2

Re: The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - F1 to F4 - Sleuthing - Spoilers - #2

Re: The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - F1 to F4 - Sleuthing - Spoilers - #2

Re: The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - F1 to F4 - Sleuthing - Spoilers - #2

Re: The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - F1 to F4 - Sleuthing - Spoilers - #2

Re: The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - F1 to F4 - Sleuthing - Spoilers - #2

Re: The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - F1 to F4 - Sleuthing - Spoilers - #2

Re: The Bachelor 20 - Ben Higgins - F1 to F4 - Sleuthing - Spoilers - #2