Becca Tilly - Bachelor 20 - #3 - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

I also don't like how she seemed to just be telling Ben what she thought he wanted to hear like she is more in this time. Instead of getting to know him, she's trying to convince him.

Well all I saw last season was Chris pursuing Becca, not the other way around. She liked him a lot, but couldn't make herself fall in love with him. She was totally honest about that, even though everyone kept pressuring her to just say those words. I remember that discussion with Chris's mom very differently. She was basically telling her that even though she wants to date Chris, she isn't in love with him yet and since Whitney's all in and willing to give him what he wants, she doesn't know where that leaves her relationship with Chris. She was clearly more concerned about Chris's happiness than her own, which made Chris's mom suggest that she is in love with him, because that sounds like love. She still knew it wasn't the right kind of love and made it very clear that she just wasn't there yet. She wasn't selling herself to Chris at all, he was pursuing her up until the end, trying to draw something out of her, but she refused to give any promises. I was rooting for them, because it seemed clear to me that she was the one Chris really wanted, but obviously it wasn't totally mutual.

I for one see a very different Becca around Ben. She's pursuing him and wants him to know just how much she likes him. And why wouldn't she? He's young, cute, able to form sentences, doesn't live in the middle of nowhere, religious... She looked totally smitten and got a bit tongue-tied when he made up those vows to her. I really don't see how it's so unbelievable that Becca could be into Ben, when he's making half of America swoon. She's not made of stone, contrarily to popular belief.

I also saw CS pursuing Becca and her being pretty much hesitant the entire way and told him and the camera repeatedly that she was hesitant. And I don't really think it even matters because she was F2 and not F1. If Becca had been F1 and then broken up I could then see it some way of her leading CS on but she never led him on once. And she had plenty of opportunity to do so if that is what she wanted. She could have pretended to want to be engaged but she didn't. She was honest. Heck, even at her MTP she was still selling Whit to his family and even his mom much more than herself and she let him know on her LCD that she wasn't going to just say the words or have the feelings just because it was TV.

So while CS and Ben are both leads, I don't see them as interchangeable. I do think Becca was much more interested in Ben and that was obvious and most of the female population is interested in him. He's Perfect Ben after all and much more aligned with what she is looking for.

To me, her saying what she felt was based on time period. On CS's season Becca was pretty much MIA until her 1on1 which was much later and on Ep 6, so over half way through filming already BEFORE her first date. With Ben, she had her 1on1 Ep 4 and not only that, she had her 1on1 with a guy who actually had a real and authentic conversation with her and who already knew her virgin status so she didn't need to have to be apprehensive about that. Ben was up front and curious and he said he understood her so much better after talking to her and that he saw her as someone who could commit and had shown she could commit and to marriage and he said to Becca face to face he finds that very attractive and then kissed her. Knowing that Becca is not F1 doesn't change the fact that in that moment, for Becca it was likely reinforcement to her that Ben was reciprocating her feelings. What else does she go by other than his actions to her 1on1? And so I don't doubt that she had feelings and in no way do I see them as fake or forced. Nick had feelings much deeper for Kaitlyn on his second time around as well so it is entirely possible that Becca did too and which, imo, I saw Ben initiate far more kisses and intimacy physically with Becca than he did with the other top girls other than Lauren B.

Ok, I wasn't going to post this at this point, but y'all will see just how into Ben she really was when she gets eliminated. There won't be many people questioning her feelings for him when that episode happens, IMO. I was told this by people who would know. I'll just leave it at that.

DebutAlbum wrote:Ok, I wasn't going to post this at this point, but y'all will see just how into Ben she really was when she gets eliminated. There won't be many people questioning her feelings for him when that episode happens, IMO. I was told this by people who would know. I'll just leave it at that.

I totally believe it. And why not? Becca is not the first one to do this again with a different lead, Nick did it and he was even more devastated the second time around although that was a different situation it shows me that people are not interchangeable and neither are a person's feelings and one can feel much much more the second time around - and makes sense also in Becca's case. I've always expected that Becca will be hurt when dumped and that Ben himself will feel badly. I will eat my hat if I don't see that on my screen. I always thought and see that Ben liked Becca but no one would come close to what he had with Lauren. It was literally falling in love on his first date with Lauren B and so I could see Ben letting Becca go at F5 because he really didn't want to put her through all that. If he did, I believe she would have been F3 per TPTB wishes and based on her edit. jmo

Becca's friend said on here that she cried hard in her hotel room after Chris didn't pick her. Something about a Dr Pepper and a producer video or something like that. I'm sure her friend could clarify this but she did have feelings for Chris. 

Nick was in no way more devastated by Kaitlyn than by AndI in the end. He loved Andi. With Kaitlyn he was floored at how she betrayed him and tricked him into thinking it was alright to propose.

This is what Ben has to say about Becca. He calls her special and that one can feel it and even CS felt it. I know Ben is a pc guy but that is pretty high praise to call someone special. He didn't even say that about Olivia whom he gave his FIR too! I also like how honest Ben is even about his reservations about Becca and totally understandable given he has been with past girlfriends who didn't want to commit to him and thus he felt "unlovable". Sure she isn't F1, but someone Ben didn't want on the show? Yeah right, I don't believe that for a second!

I was so excited for a date with Becca the next day. From the day she walked into the mansion I knew there was something special about Becca. I know Chris Soules felt it, too, and when you are in the same room with Becca it is undeniable. She has such a fun energy about her and I knew that she would be perfect for this date. Plus I knew because of the faith we both share that it would be meaningful to her.

I was so nervous for this though. I mean this was a day that these couples were going to remember for the rest of their lives and the last thing I wanted to do was make that memory for them anything less than perfect. Marrying Travis and Leah really went well, though, and they were so sweet. Having Becca by my side for it was really a calming influence. Even more so than the singing Elvis minister that came in later on and gave me some pointers on my marrying skills. Becca and I married a bunch of really excited couples that day, and it really is something that I will remember forever.

The Neon Museum really is one of the coolest places I have ever seen, and I was excited to talk to Becca more there. I had a lot of questions about her past experience and why she went so far without really being ready to get engaged. I respect her for going with her heart and not going into something as serious as marriage if she truly wasn't ready for it. But I would be lying if I said there wasn't a fear of her doing the same thing to me. And I knew I was going to be holding myself back from fully opening up and allowing myself to fall for her until I knew what was behind that experience that she'd had with Chris. I also have a tremendous amount of respect for her for tackling a subject as sometimes awkward as sex and religion with such ease and sincerity. After this date, I could tell that Becca was someone I could really see something with. And I really wasn't sure if that was the case when I went it to it.

http://www.people.com/article/bachelor-ben-higgins-blog-olivia-cake-dance

AllAboutLove wrote:This is what Ben has to say about Becca. He calls her special and that one can feel it and even CS felt it. I know Ben is a pc guy but that is pretty high praise to call someone special. He didn't even say that about Olivia whom he gave his FIR too! I also like how honest Ben is even about his reservations about Becca and totally understandable given he has been with past girlfriends who didn't want to commit to him and thus he felt "unlovable". Sure she isn't F1, but someone Ben didn't want on the show? Yeah right, I don't believe that for a second!

I was so excited for a date with Becca the next day. From the day she walked into the mansion I knew there was something special about Becca. I know Chris Soules felt it, too, and when you are in the same room with Becca it is undeniable. She has such a fun energy about her and I knew that she would be perfect for this date. Plus I knew because of the faith we both share that it would be meaningful to her.

I was so nervous for this though. I mean this was a day that these couples were going to remember for the rest of their lives and the last thing I wanted to do was make that memory for them anything less than perfect. Marrying Travis and Leah really went well, though, and they were so sweet. Having Becca by my side for it was really a calming influence. Even more so than the singing Elvis minister that came in later on and gave me some pointers on my marrying skills. Becca and I married a bunch of really excited couples that day, and it really is something that I will remember forever.

The Neon Museum really is one of the coolest places I have ever seen, and I was excited to talk to Becca more there. I had a lot of questions about her past experience and why she went so far without really being ready to get engaged. I respect her for going with her heart and not going into something as serious as marriage if she truly wasn't ready for it. But I would be lying if I said there wasn't a fear of her doing the same thing to me. And I knew I was going to be holding myself back from fully opening up and allowing myself to fall for her until I knew what was behind that experience that she'd had with Chris. I also have a tremendous amount of respect for her for tackling a subject as sometimes awkward as sex and religion with such ease and sincerity. After this date, I could tell that Becca was someone I could really see something with. And I really wasn't sure if that was the case when I went it to it.

http://www.people.com/article/bachelor-ben-higgins-blog-olivia-cake-dance

That, along with being told by people who would know that he didn't tell her to not show up, is why I never believed RS' claim. Becca isn't a liar, and she has too much self-respect to go back on if someone told her not to. That's not how she rolls. If someone doesn't want her, she doesn't go chasing after them, and that is one of the many things I respect her.

And TBH, RS was also full of crap when he said Becca's sisters couldn't keep their mouths shut and we're telling everyone about the HTD. That DID NOT happen. Trust me on that.

CH blog about Becca: He seems to already show what Becca's storyboard is and CH letting it be known that she is going to be around for a while! The photo that CH used for his blog was of Ben and Becca. I noticed that all the articles by People, Us Weekly, E Online, etc used Becca's photo too as their main pic on SM. Definitely seems like they are all focusing on her this episode.

Chris Harrison Blogs 'The Bachelor' Episode 4
January 25, 2016



The last one-on-one date went to Becca, who is on her second go-round. It’s really nice to see that rather than just looking at last season as a failure, she has taken what she has learned and applied it to her new relationship with Ben. She is more open and honest than she ever was with Chris, and that is going a long way this season. That day was tremendously fun. I have officiated quite a few weddings myself now, and I’ve taken it very seriously and spent time preparing. Ben definitely took it seriously, but he did not have a great deal of time to practice. He married several couples that day and became, very weirdly, a part of their love story forever. The night ended in the Neon Museum, which they call the boneyard for old Las Vegas neon signs. It was a beautiful night from top to bottom, and I have a feeling Becca will be around for a very long time.

https://www.yahoo.com/tv/chris-harrison-blogs-39-the-bachelor-1351098324672566.html

AllAboutLove wrote:*snip*

To me, her saying what she felt was based on time period. On CS's season Becca was pretty much MIA until her 1on1 which was much later and on Ep 6, so over half way through filming already BEFORE her first date. With Ben, she had her 1on1 Ep 4 and not only that, she had her 1on1 with a guy who actually had a real and authentic conversation with her and who already knew her virgin status so she didn't need to have to be apprehensive about that. Ben was up front and curious and he said he understood her so much better after talking to her and that he saw her as someone who could commit and had shown she could commit and to marriage and he said to Becca face to face he finds that very attractive and then kissed her. Knowing that Becca is not F1 doesn't change the fact that in that moment, for Becca it was likely reinforcement to her that Ben was reciprocating her feelings. What else does she go by other than his actions to her 1on1? And so I don't doubt that she had feelings and in no way do I see them as fake or forced. Nick had feelings much deeper for Kaitlyn on his second time around as well so it is entirely possible that Becca did too and which, imo, I saw Ben initiate far more kisses and intimacy physically with Becca than he did with the other top girls other than Lauren B.

That's a very good point about Ben being aware of her virgin status and initiating a conversation about right off the bat. I think the whole waiting for marriage issue was one of the things holding Becca back with Chris and included in what she said about not letting Chris really know her because she was scared of getting hurt. I mean that is certainly a dealbreaker for many, so keeping it from Chris was surely weighing heavily on her. I have a feeling she wanted to tell him earlier, but producers wanted the drama of her telling him in the FS. It's hard to be vulnerable when you have this big secret to reveal. Ben knowing about it already was probably a huge weight off her shoulders as well as him talking about it in a positive way instead of stuttering something incomprehensible like Chris.

What Ben said in that People blog makes a lot of sense to me. That's what I saw last night, him being wary and trying to figure out if she was up for a different outcome this time or not.

^ It's a HUGE difference in my mind.

-- CS season CS only knew Becca was a virgin during FD!
-- Ben already knew before he even met her and talked to her about it their first date!! He covered every issue she supposedly has: virginity, commitment, feelings, readiness for a relationship, etc, etc, and all in the FIRST date!!

Totally different timelines and pacing. One is at the start of their relationship on the show, the other is near the end. Makes so much sense that Becca's feelings and the pacing of them were different this time around because she went in with no secrets and just there to get to know Ben. jmo

Duke702 wrote:I also don't like how she seemed to just be telling Ben what she thought he wanted to hear like she is more in this time. Instead of getting to know him, she's trying to convince him.

You make a good point. In fairness to Becca, she wasn't only trying to convince Ben. She was/is trying to convince TPTB and the viewers.