Becca Tilly - Bachelor 20 - #3 - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

Just because someone says they haven't been in love before doesn't mean they will never be in love ever but I can't speak for whether Becca was or wasn't in love or at least falling or whatever - feelings are personal in that way - but just because Becca once said that she hasn't been in love before doesn't mean she won't be and that if she does say so (even on a tv show) that she is held to a past statement of not feeling that way just because she didn't feel that way a year ago with a totally different guy. It makes no sense to me to interchange the guys and feelings - even on a show like this. And I get that this is a crazy show etc, but IMO it's totally normal for a girl to one day fall in love if and big IF that is the case - and it can happen anywhere and anytime and with anyone. I know this from personal experience. :Nod:

Bottom line for me is that, IMO, falling/being in love is not the be and end all anyway - being in love is just a bunch of romantic feelings which fade with time and come and go even in the healthiest of marriages. And in a healthy marriage/relationship, it is actually loving someone, truly loving them with trust, respect, kindness, etc that a healthy marriage/relationship is based on. I liken it to the difference between agape (self-less love but not in the spiritual way - more the love of putting someone before oneself) and eros love which is more based on those chemical feelings and romantic love, so "falling in love" - different things. So if Becca does feel that it doesn't indicate fakeness or anything to me -- it just means someone hit her right chemical buttons and who am I to say that it doesn't happen or is not real. Again, those feelings fade even for Ben and his F1 regardless. jmo

Becca must be something special to have made it to the F2 during Chris' season and she made it pretty far during Ben's. Chris described her as the "total package" and Ben described her as "sincere." That is high praise, imho.

I'm a little cynical when it comes to how far Becca got in Ben's season. I don't think she was ever near the top of his list but was middle of the pack gal that stayed a little longer after early favorites like Jubilee and Olivia self-destructed. I'm sure he liked her well enough that it wasn't a hardship for Ben to keep her. She had to know that getting only one 1 on 1 date didn't bode well for staying until the end but guess will see how she took it.

bluwavz wrote:I'd call it silly. She had one 1-on-1 date with the guy. He's not her first love.

 And maybe its just me, but I'd hate to know or think that the first time I could potentially, possibly fall in love was being filmed for everyone to see.  Bubble love as a first love?  No, thank you!  If she's serious about wanting love and a relationship she needs to step away from anything connected to the show, IMO.

She is on your Bach rehab list that your planning, right?

JMOAA.

Her and Ben's "peck kisses" are so dang awkward. I really don't think they were into each other at all...

Ladybug82 wrote:

bluwavz wrote:I'd call it silly. She had one 1-on-1 date with the guy. He's not her first love.

 And maybe its just me, but I'd hate to know or think that the first time I could potentially, possibly fall in love was being filmed for everyone to see.  Bubble love as a first love?  No, thank you!  If she's serious about wanting love and a relationship she needs to step away from anything connected to the show, IMO.

She is on your Bach rehab list that your planning, right?

JMOAA.

Yup anyone who can't move on from being apart of this show is on the Bach Rehab list. :winkie: And not only would it be bubble "love", it would be bubble "love" with a guy who was dating multiple women and making out with all of them, many of whom he had more feelings for or was more attracted to than Becca. This is why I would find it silly and embarrassing if her first "love" was Ben. But hey this show seems to solve all these folks' life problems so maybe it's twoo wuv for Becca.

how about people who moved on from the show not by choice but by circumstances? Hey, Lady

bluwavz wrote:Yup anyone who can't move on from being apart of this show is on the Bach Rehab list. :winkie: And not only would it be bubble "love", it would be bubble "love" with a guy who was dating multiple women and making out with all of them, many of whom he had more feelings for or was more attracted to than Becca.  This is why I would find it silly and embarrassing if her first "love" was Ben. But hey this show seems to solve all these folks' life problems so maybe it's twoo wuv for Becca.

:alltens: Yes, this...  So much second hand embarrassment if so!  Time to move on and I don't mean to her own season!  

lexforlife wrote:how about people who moved on from the show not by choice but by circumstances? Hey, Lady

Hi Lex!

Blu's gonna have so many on the list for rehab it's gonna have to be prioritized!     Worst offenders that need immediate rehab to those that need it but can wait a bit, by how many seasons since theirs, just how much SM shilling they do, how many times they've dipped into the incentious dating pool of bach alumn, and the list could go on and on and on...  

Which are you thinking of by circumstances not choice?  

relaxing wrote:

bluwavz wrote:I'd call it silly. She had one 1-on-1 date with the guy. He's not her first love.

  I think we're def gong to see her leave in tears from what DebutAbum has hinted at  and I wouldn't be surprised if they get her to say she "loves Ben", what she wouldn't say to Chris (only that she was "falling" -semantics, but the show lies to make that difference into a big deal). Job accomplished by TPTB getting her to fall in line with the concept and her in changing her image, though I have no clue why she'd want to.

Oh Becca . Seems like coming across as a mature, independent woman who could think for herself last season isn't an image she wanted to have. I think she's probably crushing on Ben, but After saying she's never been in love before, if she says that after one date re Ben, I will feel really sad and embarrassed for her and the memory of the girl I liked so much last year will be totally wiped out.

Same! I was such a fan of hers last season, because of how strongly she held on to her beliefs despite the criticism and mockery she received. But if she really says ILY to Ben...come on! Either she's incredibly deluded or she's lying in order to get viewer sympathy and support. Either way, I'm incredibly disappointed and embarrassed for her.

I don't think being in love is this huge thing that if Becca says should garner embarrassment or disappointment IMHO.

Falling in love is just a bunch of chemical feelings - which do not last no matter if one is or isn't on a TV show. Essentially it is just putting on rose colored glasses for another person whom one wants to be with, imo. So I don't get the big deal if anyone says they are "in love" or whatever - it doesn't matter really because those feelings will fade 100% guaranteed no matter who the person is even in real life and wonderful marriages.

To me, when Becca said she hadn't felt in love or been in love before she was saying she had never experienced those feelings of wanting to be with someone more than just "like", butterflies, feelings, the works, etc... which is just romantic love mixed with lust (it's both) and so if she felt that for someone then good for her.

My hope is then that she realizes she can feel that and that most importantly also realizes (as Ben and his F1 will as well :Nod: ) that at the end of the day that too will fade. Because that is what I find ridiculous - this notion that being in love is this thing that needs to be on a pedestal and/or cannot happen on a show like this or any ridiculous place - because it can, IMO.

Being in love is meaningless to me at the end of the day (plenty of people fall in love and out of love everyday and many a heart is broken when one falls in love or out of love or it is unrequited). Now being in love and having that fade but still loving someone in a healthy, respectful, kind way and that someone returning that same kind of love? Now that's something worth writing home about, IMO and rarely happens.

JMO

bluwavz wrote:Yup anyone who can't move on from being apart of this show is on the Bach Rehab list. :winkie: And not only would it be bubble "love", it would be bubble "love" with a guy who was dating multiple women and making out with all of them, many of whom he had more feelings for or was more attracted to than Becca. This is why I would find it silly and embarrassing if her first "love" was Ben. But hey this show seems to solve all these folks' life problems so maybe it's twoo wuv for Becca.

  There is that pesky little problem of Ben making out with many different contestants on this reality tv dating show. To use Graham Bunn's famous line, Becca is "just one of a bunch." I do find many things Becca does and says in the real world to be silly or embarrassing and that's without TPTB giving her a script to follow. Bless her heart.  

Great new avi, by the way.  All JMOAA.

watching the episode again and am cracking up when Ben tell her.., "it good to feel, I want you to feel...just please feel" you could tell Ben wasn't convinced about her answers