Nick Viall - Bachelorette 11 - *Spoilers - Sleuthing* - Discussion #6

I say this a lot: ^ being exactly where I am supposed to be .
I believe everything happens for reasons, the bad and the good.
Thanks for that reminder.

rosesrREd wrote:

nannymargie wrote:Nick has been engaged once and rejected twice on the show which is not a good record on his part. There has to be something not quiet right for him to still be single at 34.

Really?  I think most of us have dated multiple people before finding the one that we marry.  I didn't realize there was an age requirement on when to be married by.  In fact, most women are waiting until 30s to get married because they focus on their career instead.  It doesn't mean there is something wronf with them, but rather trying to be secure financially before they marry.  This very well could be the case with Nick.

Yup.  I'm not married and I'm in my early 30's, but I went back to school in my late 20's and chose to focus on my career.  But I guess there is something wrong with me.

Plus, we also don't know exactly the timeline around Nick's engagement, what exactly happened, and how long it took him to start dating again after it ended.  I've known people who were able to bounce back right away after rough breakups and broken engagements, and I've known other people who didn't date for years after.  And no, just because someone had a broken engagement or a very long term relationship and it ended did not mean that there was anything wrong with them.  It was because they weren't right for each other in the long run, and if anything it's healthy to recognize that.

kimberlyg wrote:

rosesrREd wrote:

nannymargie wrote:Nick has been engaged once and rejected twice on the show which is not a good record on his part. There has to be something not quiet right for him to still be single at 34.

Really?  I think most of us have dated multiple people before finding the one that we marry.  I didn't realize there was an age requirement on when to be married by.  In fact, most women are waiting until 30s to get married because they focus on their career instead.  It doesn't mean there is something wronf with them, but rather trying to be secure financially before they marry.  This very well could be the case with Nick.

Yup.  I'm not married and I'm in my early 30's, but I went back to school in my late 20's and chose to focus on my career.  But I guess there is something wrong with me.  

Plus, we also don't know exactly the timeline around Nick's engagement, what exactly happened, and how long it took him to start dating again after it ended.  I've known people who were able to bounce back right away after rough breakups and broken engagements, and I've known other people who didn't date for years after.  And no, just because someone had a broken engagement or a very long term relationship and it ended did not mean that there was anything wrong with them.  It was because they weren't right for each other in the long run, and if anything it's healthy to recognize that.

I love this.
My oldest fits this mold. She is happily single in her early 30's. It may not be what I want for her, but it's not about me. It's her journey and all I can hope for is she continues to be happy and healthy in life.

I'm turned 32 back in May. I am totally single right now and have never married or been engaged, casual dating at best. I think most would consider me normalish 'right.' I haven't been through what Nick has dating wise, more because I am less brave about putting myself out there. Like for Nick, people could possibly classify me as someone who gets too deep into my thoughts, overanalyzing, etc. I might be the opposite though as my overanalyzing may prevent me from getting to the next step of a relationship whereas Nick goes all in and the other person, well the two documented versions seem to divert to the type specific and in the past two cases the "all-american" typical jock....attractive to the masses (though meh IMO) but seems to not have much substance (again IMO) because Nick is too "intense" for them. I guess it comes down to taste. I would have chosen Nick both times in a heartbeat. There is nothing wrong with for Nick being 34 almost 35 and single. My friend/co-worker is on her 2nd marriage and married this man in her mid-40s and they are just happy as can be. Just because A&K prefer dim bulbs doesn't take away from the shining light that is Nick!

Very well said, Monica!

MonicaJM2001 wrote:Just because A&K prefer dim bulbs doesn't take away from the shining light that is Nick!  

Monica ... the same. Thanks for sharing your story.

Kasha, nice to read from the mother's standpoint. (I kinda get my mom better as the years pass)

kimberlyg wrote:I've known people who were able to bounce back right away after rough breakups and broken engagements, and I've known other people who didn't date for years after.  And no, just because someone had a broken engagement or a very long term relationship and it ended did not mean that there was anything wrong with them.  It was because they weren't right for each other in the long run, and if anything it's healthy to recognize that.

exactly. I'm surrounded with friends who have partners, husbands, families ... and although I hope to find my "happiness" with someone one day (sooner than later) ... observing the relationships around me I often feel blessed that I have/had the time to get to know myself, develop my character without having it dictated by some boyfriend and having a freedom to explore all my passions without neglecting someone else's. I agree with those that say "it's better to be single than in an unhealthy relationship", just for the relationship sake, so that you can say "I have a boyfriend".

I am so proud of all of you wonderful Nick Chicks. I wish I had had the fortitude and self awareness that all of you had to not get married in my 20s and to stay strong. I am truly happy now, but hated being divorced. We joke about it now, but it was a hard thing for me.

I will never criticize someone for taking their time to find what is right for them instead of settling. In my experience, settling didn't work at all for me or my ex and was vastly unfair to him.

stuckinsc wrote:I am so proud of all of you wonderful Nick Chicks. I wish I had had the fortitude and self awareness that all of you had to not get married in my 20s and to stay strong.  I am truly happy now, but hated being divorced.  We joke about it now, but it was a hard thing for me.

I will never criticize someone for taking their time to find what is right for them instead of settling.  In my experience, settling didn't work at all for me or my ex and was vastly unfair to him.

I was 28 when I got married, and I've been married for 10 years now. I went to college and began a really good career, where coincidentally I met my husband. I wasn't looking for a husband, but it happened nonetheless. I think everyone has their soulmate out there, but the timing is different for each person.. Nick just hasn't found his yet, and I'm certain he will soon enough.

Two years in a row hitting up lolla with a JJ from the Bachelorette.

Source: Nick's IG

lurker11 wrote:Two years in a row hitting up lolla with a JJ from the Bachelorette.

Source: Nick's IG

Great pic of all of them. Looks like they are having fun!