The Bachelorette 11 - Kaitlyn Bristowe - Epi 6 Jun 22nd - *Sleuthing - Spoilers*

^ I saw it is emotional manipulation. Using Kaitlyn's interest in him as "aren't I enough?"... like Kaitlyn should be there for him.

I found his words to Kaitlyn: "your actions and words don't match" and calling her out on camera to be very disconcerting.

Just because he looks like Ryan Gosling and says these amazing things as well it seems like the other things that would be red flags get overlooked.

I just know that if a guy said those words to a girlfriend of mine I would tell her to run.

To me it is a lack of respect for the lead. Kaitlyn is the lead and that should be respected, and if one is truly in love and not just in lust then one will put the other person's situation above one's own, not use it to make them feel bad.

jmo

Well somehow he got over Nick's pre-FS to get engaged, so maybe things are taking a turn for them?

I'm really trying to look at this from a glass half full perspective, but it gets harder each week from what we learn... :/

I say we see what we want to see and words that someone say can be interpreted in negative/positive way based on our perception of that person (fav or no fav). We always tend to accept or try to see our favs actions in a positive way (and the opposite if not) even if the majority think it's "bad"/ ("good").
IMO.

chasingpavements wrote:On the Grantland podcast, they made a good point about how he came off as very manipulative about the Nick situation. Instead of just voicing his concerns, his underlying message seemed to be  "I know I'm one of your favorites and if you want me to stick around, tread lightly with that other guy". I agree that something seems off about their relationship, which sucks because I really liked him on that first night.

I'm glad Grantland said it so I didn't have to....

AllAboutLove wrote:^ I saw it is emotional manipulation. Using Kaitlyn's interest in him as "aren't I enough?"... like Kaitlyn should be there for him.

I found his words to Kaitlyn: "your actions and words don't match" and calling her out on camera to be very disconcerting.

Just because he looks like Ryan Gosling and says these amazing things as well it seems like the other things that would be red flags get overlooked.

I just know that if a guy said those words to a girlfriend of mine I would tell her to run.

To me it is a lack of respect for the lead. Kaitlyn is the lead and that should be respected, and if one is truly in love and not just in lust then one will put the other person's situation above one's own, not use it to make them feel bad.

jmo

I was taken back at first, but I think his statement "your actions and words don't match" is right on, if referring to " I see my husband in this group", which we hear every season of the ette. It really doesn't make sense to bring someone new if you already see your husband in the group. He is very honest to her which I like, and I think she really appreciates that too. What I like about him is that, he didn't talk to anyone else about his feeling, not even Nick, he talked to Kaitlyn only, so I give him a pass. He comes off as a stand up guy who is a good balance for Kaitlyn. I think he is the best match for her out of the group, but if she slept with someone else BFS, I don't think they will last, most men don't forget things like. JMO

I see somewhat of a double standard here. No-one seems to question the sexual habits of any of the men, before or during the program. As we have mentioned here before, it takes two to tango....JMHO

Maggenzm wrote:I was taken back at first, but I think his statement "your actions and words don't match" is right on, if referring to " I see my husband in this group", which we hear every season of the ette. It really doesn't make sense to bring someone new if you already see your husband in the group. He is very honest to her which I like, and I think she really appreciates that too. What I like about him is that, he didn't talk to anyone else about his feeling, not even Nick, he talked to Kaitlyn only, so I give him a pass. He comes off as a stand up guy who is a good balance for Kaitlyn.

I agree. I don't see what he said as manipulative in any way - that's more taking a situation and spinning it into something else. If a couple is going to make a committed relationship work they have to be able to communicate - not just about what kind of wine they want with dinner but about how one person's actions (or words) make the other person feel. That is very very difficult to do and all the more so in the context of this show and especially with a lead who has gone postal when others have criticized her. I think it took not only courage but maturity on Shawn's part to tell Kaitlyn what he told her in that scene.

I think he is the best match for her out of the group, but if she slept with someone else BFS, I don't think they will last, most men don't forget things like. JMO

IMO she did sleep with someone else and I'm sure that to Shawn that felt like infidelity but it really isn't - without a commitment to be faithful (and monogamous) how can you be unfaithful? It's the heavy lifting in this relationship to be sure but relationships can survive real infidelity and have certainly have survived the FS in the context of this show. Trista & Ryan are a good example of that.

Lucas, ITA, Shawn knew she could have gone straight up psycho on him for daring to question and did it anyway because he seems to believe their relationship can withstand it. I liked it. We'll see how honest Kait is back to him now with this pre-fs adventure when the time comes.

bilolo wrote:I say we see what we want to see and words that someone say can be interpreted in negative/positive way based on our perception of that person (fav or no fav). We always tend to accept or try to see our favs actions in a positive way (and the opposite if not) even if the majority think it's "bad"/ ("good").
IMO.

Oh my goodness this is so very true. Well stated. :cutesmile!:

We have heard that this show is executed by TPTB the way they want it to end. There are many incentives for people to do things, including opportunities that will be attractive to those who quit their job for the "job" of being on the show/F1.

Imho, Shawn calling Nick "the other guy" and any related Nick pre-FS problem is just a symptom/sign of an underlying issue. I hope to be wrong, but it seems like Shawn's unhappiness is not just limited to "the other guy." This s/cap for next episode he doesn't look pleased.
... Shawn's body language: his arm's away from Kaitlyn and K is holding a rose and gives it to Jared?
... And that is why, according to Us Weekly, Shawn "confronts" Kaitlyn later on in her room while she is wearing the same clothes?


http://www.wetpaint.com/2015-06-18-bachelorette-2015-shawn-booth-cma-fest/

from s/caps jojo

Alanna wrote:Lucas, ITA, Shawn knew she could have gone straight up psycho on him for daring to question and did it anyway because he seems to believe their relationship can withstand it. I liked it. We'll see how honest Kait is back to him now with this pre-fs adventure when the time comes.

IMO much of the strange differences in this season is all about the ultimate

TO BE CONTINUED ....

story line. Most seasons the mystery of the ending surrounds who the lead picks between two equally plausible choices with reasons to believe it could go either way. This season is different; they will not hide who the lead wants to pick - that's already been made pretty obvious and was from episode 1. The mystery to keep viewers engaged to the end will be "How the H*** could he be with her after everything that happened?"

IMO they will stretch that mystery out pretty much all through the show. I think in the short term it will be waiting for the other shoe to drop - does Shawn know? Does he find out before Kaitlyn tells him? I don't expect that to go well when she does BTW - the final cliffhanger will be how that resolves at the very end. It's really the same game of guessing - just this time not about who she wants but about if she gets him. IMO the reason the spoiler was wrong this season is because they wanted viewers (even us fanatics) to be surprised at the end - just like Des' ending was a surprise - so this was supposed to be a foiler season. Kaitlyn blew it for them.

AllAboutLove wrote:Imho, Shawn calling Nick "the other guy" and any related Nick pre-FS problem is just a symptom/sign of an underlying issue. I hope to be wrong, but it seems like Shawn's unhappiness is not just limited to "the other guy." This s/cap for next episode he doesn't look pleased.

IMO Shawn's "statement" that Kaitlyn's actions don't match her words isn't just about the "other guy" - it's about any other guy. If Shawn believes that Kaitlyn has said things to him that indicate an intent to choose him then anything she does that seems to suggest otherwise is going to cause him to question her actions.

From what I've heard and also seen, the producers want everybody off balance at the end. They want F2 to think they are F1 and F1 to question if they are F1 no matter what the lead may have said to them. The lead is constantly trying to give the show what they tell her they want and still keep who she really wants invested and around through it all. In the past leads have gone to some extremes to keep their F1 in the game - Ashley's season comes to mind and she did that very effectively with JP. IMO this has little to do with Shawn and more to do with how the producers manipulate the cast and that's the underlying issue.