Chris Soules - Whitney Bischoff - Bachelor 19 - Discussion

kdawng wrote:Something has always seemed off to me with them as a couple.  I think Whitney wanted a fiance so bad that she's going along with whatever right now.  

Chris just doesn't say the right things.  I saw a TV interview with him after the filming but before the winner was announced and the man asked him "Can you see yourself married to the women you picked?"... He hesistated and didn't really answer the question.  

During filing, he kept emphasizing he wanted a wife not a girlfriend and Whitney would have gotten married that day, so i have my doubts if they are the real thing.  I thought they would have been married by now if they were real... DWTS or not... at least have a date..  

I think he's in too deep now and he has to go along for the ride so to speak with whatever the network wants him to do and wants them to do a couple.  I think he obviously cares for her as a person and they probably do have a good friendship since they've been through all this, but i don't see them getting hitched.  

I also think DWTS is overplaying their relationship and the average DWTS viewer could care less about them as a couple.  And i think Chris does look scared to give it all with dancing Witney.  Fiance Whitney can be as confident and strong as she wants to be, but a little blond dancing all over your man would get to anybody.  

I don't understand why some people think that Chris & Witney dancing should bother Whitney. What about the Pros significant others or the other celebs significant others....it's absolutely NO different. What about Noah and his fiance or what about Allison Holkers husband? The list goes on and on. If you have trust in your partner and trust in your relationship then it simply shouldn't matter. If you don't trust...then you probably shouldn't be in that relationship in the first place.

leselihau wrote:

kdawng wrote:Something has always seemed off to me with them as a couple.  I think Whitney wanted a fiance so bad that she's going along with whatever right now.  

Chris just doesn't say the right things.  I saw a TV interview with him after the filming but before the winner was announced and the man asked him "Can you see yourself married to the women you picked?"... He hesistated and didn't really answer the question.  

During filing, he kept emphasizing he wanted a wife not a girlfriend and Whitney would have gotten married that day, so i have my doubts if they are the real thing.  I thought they would have been married by now if they were real... DWTS or not... at least have a date..  

I think he's in too deep now and he has to go along for the ride so to speak with whatever the network wants him to do and wants them to do a couple.  I think he obviously cares for her as a person and they probably do have a good friendship since they've been through all this, but i don't see them getting hitched.  

I also think DWTS is overplaying their relationship and the average DWTS viewer could care less about them as a couple.  And i think Chris does look scared to give it all with dancing Witney.  Fiance Whitney can be as confident and strong as she wants to be, but a little blond dancing all over your man would get to anybody.  

I don't understand why some people think that Chris & Witney dancing should bother Whitney.  What about the Pros significant others or the other celebs significant others....it's absolutely NO different.  What about Noah and his fiance or what about Allison Holkers husband?  The list goes on and on.  If you have trust in your partner and trust in your relationship then it simply shouldn't matter.  If you don't trust...then you probably shouldn't be in that relationship in the first place.

I think that we don't discuss those couples on this board, but pretty much every heterosexual couple's chemistry is analyzed and an off-screen relationship/hook-up is speculated on other websites and forums. Not all, but many. I think the fact that there have been SO many hook-ups on this show (and, yes, many cases in which one person is already in a relationship) that speculation is just always going to happen. I also think that many women who trust their SOs STILL get cheated on. Trust is important to have, but it doesn't mean that you can't get hurt. Especially since there have been reports out there that Chris cheated on his ex-fiance. Having said that, Whitney doesn't seem to be jealous, from what I can see.

kdawng wrote:Something has always seemed off to me with them as a couple.  I think Whitney wanted a fiance so bad that she's going along with whatever right now.  

Chris just doesn't say the right things.  I saw a TV interview with him after the filming but before the winner was announced and the man asked him "Can you see yourself married to the women you picked?"... He hesistated and didn't really answer the question.  

During filing, he kept emphasizing he wanted a wife not a girlfriend and Whitney would have gotten married that day, so i have my doubts if they are the real thing.  I thought they would have been married by now if they were real... DWTS or not... at least have a date..  

I think he's in too deep now and he has to go along for the ride so to speak with whatever the network wants him to do and wants them to do a couple.  I think he obviously cares for her as a person and they probably do have a good friendship since they've been through all this, but i don't see them getting hitched.  

I also think DWTS is overplaying their relationship and the average DWTS viewer could care less about them as a couple.  And i think Chris does look scared to give it all with dancing Witney.  Fiance Whitney can be as confident and strong as she wants to be, but a little blond dancing all over your man would get to anybody.  

Just because someone wants to get married and are looking for a wife/husband doesn't mean that they will get married as soon as they find someone...particularly when they find them on a show like this where they barely get to know them before getting engaged. Why should Chris and Whitney be any different than any of the other successful couples that have come out of this show? None of them got married right away...or set a date right away. They more or less lived together for a year and made plans during that time. Didn't mean they weren't the real thing.

Chris is in the middle of DWTS at the moment. (I doubt he will be there too much longer.) Either way, Whitney has adjusted her career and is living in LA with him during this time and has continued working. They are having family members visiting...both his and hers. When he is off the show, her new job offers her the flexibility to live with him in Iowa. This is more than likely when they will truly start to figure things out. Will it work? Who knows, but IMO they seem to be moving along in a realistic and mature manner. Whitney is a planner. She likes to have things organized and she has been adjusting her career in a manner that to me seems realistic and positive in terms of a long term relationship. Chris also seems to be adjusting to being in a relationship. Whitney was the one he consulted with first about doing DWTS and he has gone from saying that his home is on the farm to being more flexible about having two homes. Yeah, it's not as exciting as them being all over each other and posting about their undying love all over SM, but to me it seems as if they are doing the hard work necessary to sustain a mutually satisfying relationship. I give them as good or better odds than most couples coming out of this show. Let's see if they make it past the first hurdle...past the first episode of the next Bette. Andi and Josh tanked at that point and this is when many couples break up since the new season distracts from the break up.  

  Well said Sprite.  ITA.

Sprite!

From the last Usweekly interview(sorry I couldn't post the link), I got the vibe that Chris was doing a lot of PR work but didn't impress me regarding his feelings towards Whitney.
Talking about what Whitney knows about his relationship with Becca during the bachelor season : " she knows enough". Not really the same as knowing everything....
Also, he's not "mentally really there" doesn't bode very well IMO. Really ? A happily newly engaged man who picked the love of his life is not "mentally there"? LOL
The article seemed so strange...

sde1041 wrote:From the last Usweekly interview(sorry I couldn't post the link), I got the vibe that Chris was doing a lot of PR work but didn't impress me regarding his feelings towards Whitney.
Talking about what Whitney knows about his relationship with Becca during the bachelor season : " she knows enough". Not really the same as knowing everything....
Also, he's not "mentally really there" doesn't bode very well IMO. Really ? A happily newly engaged man who picked the love of his life is not "mentally there"? LOL
The article seemed so strange...

That's the vibe that I've gotten since the ATFR - DWTS is his one and only priority right now, and Whitney only comes up in his mind when she helps to win him votes or get him some good PR.

Did anyone watch Dylan's interview? It was interesting. He talked about how Chris was one of his best friends on the show and he cried when he had to say good-bye to him during Andi's season, but now that Chris has become such a celebrity, he hasn't talked to him much. He didn't seem bitter or angry about it or anything, but it does kind of make me think that fame has changed Chris, like RS implied.

I believe in Chris' interview with Afterbuzz he said his best friends from the show (then said Brian and Dylan) were coming to see him and he wanted to set Dylan up with Witney. So i think Chris still considers them to be friends and is just super busy.

chasingpavements wrote:

sde1041 wrote:From the last Usweekly interview(sorry I couldn't post the link), I got the vibe that Chris was doing a lot of PR work but didn't impress me regarding his feelings towards Whitney.
Talking about what Whitney knows about his relationship with Becca during the bachelor season : " she knows enough". Not really the same as knowing everything....
Also, he's not "mentally really there" doesn't bode very well IMO. Really ? A happily newly engaged man who picked the love of his life is not "mentally there"? LOL
The article seemed so strange...

That's the vibe that I've gotten since the ATFR - DWTS is his one and only priority right now, and Whitney only comes up in his mind when she helps to win him votes or get him some good PR.

Did anyone watch Dylan's interview? It was interesting. He talked about how Chris was one of his best friends on the show and he cried when he had to say good-bye to him during Andi's season, but now that Chris has become such a celebrity, he hasn't talked to him much. He didn't seem bitter or angry about it or anything, but it does kind of make me think that fame has changed Chris, like RS implied.

Wow, thanks chasing! This is so interesting and not at all surprising. "She knows enough." There is that weird vibe. All IMHO

Sprite wrote:Yeah, it's not as exciting as them being all over each other and posting about their undying love all over SM, but to me it seems as if they are doing the hard work necessary to sustain a mutually satisfying relationship. I give them as good or better odds than most couples coming out of this show. Let's see if they make it past the first hurdle...past the first episode of the next Bette. Andi and Josh tanked at that point and this is when many couples break up since the new season distracts from the break up.  

Someone upthread once posted (sorry I never made a note of who posted this but it has resonated with me ever since I first read it):

Love is a feeling - but it is also a choice

According to the triangular theory of love as proposed by psychologist Robert Sternberg there is an intimacy component, a passion component, and a decision/commitment component and the amount of love one experiences depends on the absolute strength of these three components. IMO while Dr. Lilian Glass (a body language expert) once said that Andi & Josh were the most "in love" couple she had ever seen come out of the franchise, we all know now that they didn't make it. That passion component that was so obvious to Dr Glass may have been all there was and perhaps they were never able to reach a common ground on the commitment component. It's worth noting that the social experiment at the core of "Married At First Sight" is an attempt to build a successful relationship by starting with the commitment component and seeing how or if the other components can grow rather than a more normal start with passion and perhaps intimacy and seeing if commitment can grow from that.

There was one thing that I saw Chris do as he explored each relationship that IMO was a bit unusual and that is that he seemed to measure each relationship in terms of whether it could match what he felt he needed in a relationship and many of his key eliminations happened when he saw them not fitting what he wanted out of a relationship. Of course that was only possible up to a point because eventually he had to get down to a final 1 and didn't have expendable choices - he had to fill in the final finishing positions with who was left.

Sprite I agree with your assessment and to me too it seems that both of them are changing things in their lives to make room for the other while keeping room for themselves as individuals; that may not seem romantic but it's absolutely necessary for a relationship to survive and thrive in the long run. I don't know if they will be successful at this but I'm pretty convinced that they would not be successful if they were not trying to do this.

chasingpavements wrote:

sde1041 wrote:From the last Usweekly interview(sorry I couldn't post the link), I got the vibe that Chris was doing a lot of PR work but didn't impress me regarding his feelings towards Whitney.
Talking about what Whitney knows about his relationship with Becca during the bachelor season : " she knows enough". Not really the same as knowing everything....
Also, he's not "mentally really there" doesn't bode very well IMO. Really ? A happily newly engaged man who picked the love of his life is not "mentally there"? LOL
The article seemed so strange...

That's the vibe that I've gotten since the ATFR - DWTS is his one and only priority right now, and Whitney only comes up in his mind when she helps to win him votes or get him some good PR.

Did anyone watch Dylan's interview? It was interesting. He talked about how Chris was one of his best friends on the show and he cried when he had to say good-bye to him during Andi's season, but now that Chris has become such a celebrity, he hasn't talked to him much. He didn't seem bitter or angry about it or anything, but it does kind of make me think that fame has changed Chris, like RS implied.

Sure the only reason Chris is not in contact with Dylan & I am sure with many of his other friends at the moment is because he is too busy on DWTS. Did not follow Sean & Cat, but have read somewhere that she felt quite left out when Sean was doing DWTS. Think anyone in DWTS would be extremely busy especially if one did not have much dancing experience.

Lucas15 wrote:

Sprite wrote:Yeah, it's not as exciting as them being all over each other and posting about their undying love all over SM, but to me it seems as if they are doing the hard work necessary to sustain a mutually satisfying relationship. I give them as good or better odds than most couples coming out of this show. Let's see if they make it past the first hurdle...past the first episode of the next Bette. Andi and Josh tanked at that point and this is when many couples break up since the new season distracts from the break up.  

Someone upthread once posted (sorry I never made a note of who posted this but it has resonated with me ever since I first read it):

Love is a feeling - but it is also a choice

According to the triangular theory of love as proposed by psychologist Robert Sternberg there is an intimacy component, a passion component, and a decision/commitment component and the amount of love one experiences depends on the absolute strength of these three components. IMO while Dr. Lilian Glass (a body language expert) once said that Andi & Josh were the most "in love" couple she had ever seen come out of the franchise, we all know now that they didn't make it. That passion component that was so obvious to Dr Glass may have been all there was and perhaps they were never able to reach a common ground on the commitment component. It's worth noting that the social experiment at the core of "Married At First Sight" is an attempt to build a successful relationship by starting with the commitment component and seeing how or if the other components can grow rather than a more normal start with passion and perhaps intimacy and seeing if commitment can grow from that.

There was one thing that I saw Chris do as he explored each relationship that IMO was a bit unusual and that is that he seemed to measure each relationship in terms of whether it could match what he felt he needed in a relationship and many of his key eliminations happened when he saw them not fitting what he wanted out of a relationship. Of course that was only possible up to a point because eventually he had to get down to a final 1 and didn't have expendable choices - he had to fill in the final finishing positions with who was left.

Sprite I agree with your assessment and to me too it seems that both of them are changing things in their lives to make room for the other while keeping room for themselves as individuals; that may not seem romantic but it's absolutely necessary for a relationship to survive and thrive in the long run. I don't know if they will be successful at this but I'm pretty convinced that they would not be successful if they were not trying to do this.

Wow! I love so much in these posts - all the bolded really resonate. Such a great definition of Love. It's rare to see the 3 leveled love come out of this show.

I think Whitney and Chris are very mature, grounded adults living their real lives after meeting in a crazy way. So nice to see from this show. I like both and hope they make it, but I'm sure will move on gracefully if it's not right. Neither is a bad thing, IMO. The more a couple does club gigs, red carpets, tweet promotions of random product sales pitches and "look at us" selfies of how happy and in love they are, the more I disconnect and lose interest. They become less a real couple making a go of the complexity of a real relationship and more a business arrangement working on their brand to sell. To each their own, but I just have no interest in following that as a fan. Whit and Chris, I'll be happy to pop in now and then to see how they're doing, because I like them both as people.