Re: Episode 11 - 8/1 Finale - Discussion - Thread #1

[happyvalleygirl]

Oh and I think Ashley might have been better off with a real life bear, provided she kept her apt stocked with honey and berries and bamboo (if it was a Panda), than Brad. Please.

I have to confess... Chrystie didn't say all that much in that ABC preview that is too-too disturbing,

I agree. I'm not sure why everyone is so mad at her. Other than the idiotic comment about Brad, I don't think she said anything wrong.

sunshine..I interpreted their being upset more from the judging of JP before she even met him.... prejudging = upset , but that is my guess.

[Guest]

I feel bad for Ashley with all she had to go through, she was finally happy and at peace and knew she loved JP and was so happy and proud to have him meet her family. She knew how wonderful JP's family made her feel, so this was terribly hurtful to Ashley by her own sister and probably embarrassing, when compared to the Rosenbaum's love for her. JP told her on the FD that his dad said Ashley would be a welcome addition to the family. All was going pefect, and her selfish sister wrecked it. sad.

[Ayana]

Oh and I think Ashley might have been better off with a real life bear, provided she kept her apt stocked with honey and berries and bamboo (if it was a Panda), than Brad. Please.

I have to confess... Chrystie didn't say all that much in that ABC preview that is too-too disturbing,

I agree. I'm not sure why everyone is so mad at her. Other than the idiotic comment about Brad, I don't think she said anything wrong.

I'm not mad at her, but I did feel bad for Ashley. It couldn't have been too pleasant to hear that.

I feel bad for Ashley too. It must have been so hard for her to hear that and that was hard for me to watch. But I do think that her sister really was trying to look out for her.

[CarrieA]

The sister sounds like just such an iiii-diot. "Why are you crying?" LMAO. IDK! Why do you think, Chrystie? :greenman:

Oh and I think Ashley might have been better off with a real life bear, provided she kept her apt stocked with honey and berries and bamboo (if it was a Panda), than Brad. Please.

I have to confess... Chrystie didn't say all that much in that ABC preview that is too-too disturbing, but... WOW!!! Those tears came out like Niagara Falls with Ashley. The "gap" between JP and Ben must have been MIGHTY WIDE. Already she starts attacking Chrystie about her probably liking Ben better!

Poor Ben... he has to watch all this.

She got so totally defensive of JP that I don't see how Chrystie could miss the hint at that point. Ash looked like she was going to throw herself onto the ground and curl up like a fetus after her sister spewed venom over the whole JP matchy matchy thing (though I must say I would have preferred this over the whole nervous twitchy bangs thing she has going on). There is no reason for the hate, none whatsoever, and if it wasn't producer drive (which I suspect) Chrystie better check herself before she wrecks herself quick!

[Guest]

They removed the video ( ), but if Chrystie really was not prompted/encouraged by the producers to "make good TV", then she is really a judgmental jerk, and does not have her sister's best interests at heart, no matter what she claims. And JP is a saint for being able to not only fully accept her apology, but to try to diffuse the situation by making excuses for her inexcusable behavior. It's more than she deserves IMO, but he's obviously doing it out of his love for Ashley. What a good man.

Of course, I still tend to believe that some of her ridiculous bias was urged on by the producers. But then, what do I know, as I was recently reminded and reprimanded by the self-appointed posting police, I wasn't there.

Re - the bolded; that is what my gut is telling me too.

Even so, I'm utterly mystified why Ashley has suddenly lost all speech pattern other than whining "but whyyyyyy?" How about telling her how safe and happy she is with him? How he's been her rock throughout this whole show? No? No go?

Well, we all know Ashley and speech patterns don't always work out as intended. I think she was too emotional to express herself appropriately maybe because she just wanted all of them to love him immediately and get what she gets about him without having to explain. I guess the part that bothered me the most is that her sister seemed (to me anyway) extremely callous about Ashley's feelings over the situation. That's just how it hit me anyway

[moflan]

It's interesting that the sister thinks that Ashley is "too much" for JP because of her energy because she probably thinks the energy is what makes Ashley Ashley. It made me reflect on my relationship with my BFF who was widowed at a young age. It took me a while to warm up to her new husband because I felt like he had sucked all of the life out of her. When I asked her what she loved best about her husband, she said that he is her rock and that he calms her and that it feels safe to be able to just "be" and not to always have to be "on". Given her insight, I now trust that her husband has her best interests at heart and I like him for making her more multi-dimensional instead of fun, energetic all-the-time J. Hope that makes sense.

[mandlos86]

It's interesting that the sister thinks that Ashley is "too much" for JP because of her energy because she probably thinks the energy is what makes Ashley Ashley. It made me reflect on my relationship with my BFF who was widowed at a young age. It took me a while to warm up to her new husband because I felt like he had sucked all of the life out of her. When I asked her what she loved best about her husband, she said that he is her rock and that he calms her and that it feels safe to be able to just "be" and not to always have to be "on". Given her insight, I now trust that her husband has her best interests at heart and I like him for making her more multi-dimensional instead of fun, energetic all-the-time J. Hope that makes sense.

Very Insightful!

[Alanna]

They removed the video ( ), but if Chrystie really was not prompted/encouraged by the producers to "make good TV", then she is really a judgmental jerk, and does not have her sister's best interests at heart, no matter what she claims. And JP is a saint for being able to not only fully accept her apology, but to try to diffuse the situation by making excuses for her inexcusable behavior. It's more than she deserves IMO, but he's obviously doing it out of his love for Ashley. What a good man.

Of course, I still tend to believe that some of her ridiculous bias was urged on by the producers. But then, what do I know, as I was recently reminded and reprimanded by the self-appointed posting police, I wasn't there.

Re - the bolded; that is what my gut is telling me too.

Even so, I'm utterly mystified why Ashley has suddenly lost all speech pattern other than whining "but whyyyyyy?" How about telling her how safe and happy she is with him? How he's been her rock throughout this whole show? No? No go?

Well, we all know Ashley and speech patterns don't always work out as intended. I think she was too emotional to express herself appropriately maybe because she just wanted all of them to love him immediately and get what she gets about him without having to explain. I guess the part that bothered me the most is that her sister seemed (to me anyway) extremely callous about Ashley's feelings over the situation. That's just how it hit me anyway

Sigh, you're right. Ashley cannot communicate anything of value when she's freaking out, which is the majority of the time. I'm glad she can at least communicate with JP because he just patiently listens instead of trying to get his 2cents in immediately. That's all that matters.

It's interesting that the sister thinks that Ashley is "too much" for JP because of her energy because she probably thinks the energy is what makes Ashley Ashley. It made me reflect on my relationship with my BFF who was widowed at a young age. It took me a while to warm up to her new husband because I felt like he had sucked all of the life out of her. When I asked her what she loved best about her husband, she said that he is her rock and that he calms her and that it feels safe to be able to just "be" and not to always have to be "on". Given her insight, I now trust that her husband has her best interests at heart and I like him for making her more multi-dimensional instead of fun, energetic all-the-time J. Hope that makes sense.

The bold makes perfect sense. I think you're totally right and I think it's not only the Jash relationship but the A&R one too. I really, really like this post. Thank you!

[CanadaGoose]

Family dynamics can be minefields at the best of times. It's difficult to go back home as an adult and not fall back into long-grown-out-of and perhaps unhealthy patterns. Big sister thinks little sister can't make decisions on her own and proceeds to tell her what to do, without any seeming interest in why Ashley likes JP.

[Guest]

They removed the video ( ), but if Chrystie really was not prompted/encouraged by the producers to "make good TV", then she is really a judgmental jerk, and does not have her sister's best interests at heart, no matter what she claims. And JP is a saint for being able to not only fully accept her apology, but to try to diffuse the situation by making excuses for her inexcusable behavior. It's more than she deserves IMO, but he's obviously doing it out of his love for Ashley. What a good man.

Of course, I still tend to believe that some of her ridiculous bias was urged on by the producers. But then, what do I know, as I was recently reminded and reprimanded by the self-appointed posting police, I wasn't there.

Re - the bolded; that is what my gut is telling me too.

Even so, I'm utterly mystified why Ashley has suddenly lost all speech pattern other than whining "but whyyyyyy?" How about telling her how safe and happy she is with him? How he's been her rock throughout this whole show? No? No go?

Well, we all know Ashley and speech patterns don't always work out as intended. I think she was too emotional to express herself appropriately maybe because she just wanted all of them to love him immediately and get what she gets about him without having to explain. I guess the part that bothered me the most is that her sister seemed (to me anyway) extremely callous about Ashley's feelings over the situation. That's just how it hit me anyway

Sigh, you're right. Ashley cannot communicate anything of value when she's freaking out, which is the majority of the time. I'm glad she can at least communicate with JP because he just patiently listens instead of trying to get his 2cents in immediately. That's all that matters.

It's interesting that the sister thinks that Ashley is "too much" for JP because of her energy because she probably thinks the energy is what makes Ashley Ashley. It made me reflect on my relationship with my BFF who was widowed at a young age. It took me a while to warm up to her new husband because I felt like he had sucked all of the life out of her. When I asked her what she loved best about her husband, she said that he is her rock and that he calms her and that it feels safe to be able to just "be" and not to always have to be "on". Given her insight, I now trust that her husband has her best interests at heart and I like him for making her more multi-dimensional instead of fun, energetic all-the-time J. Hope that makes sense.

The bold makes perfect sense. I think you're totally right and I think it's not only the Jash relationship but the A&R one too. I really, really like this post. Thank you!

Exactly.

[Pattycake92]

I think in the back of Ashley's mind that she felt Ben was the more logical choice for her. Having her sister voice those fears out loud, I think panicked Ashley. It was so mean of her sister to say anything negative without any thought to Ashley's feelings. The sister knew this guy had at least a 50% chance of getting engaged to Ashley.

[ironcat]

I feel bad for Ashley with all she had to go through, she was finally happy and at peace and knew she loved JP and was so happy and proud to have him meet her family. She knew how wonderful JP's family made her feel, so this was terribly hurtful to Ashley by her own sister and probably embarrassing, when compared to the Rosenbaum's love for her. JP told her on the FD that his dad said Ashley would be a welcome addition to the family. All was going pefect, and her selfish sister wrecked it. sad.

I think this is a big part of it, to know that JP's family so warmly embraced her and treated her respectfully, and her sister couldn't do the same for JP. I have to admit I didn't see the clip, so I'm going off what everyone's saying here and the spoilers. However, while I get that Chrystie is entitled to voice her concerns to Ashley privately regarding JP, I find it totally rude to confront him and put him on the defensive the way she apparently did. There is a way to nicely ask him questions about himself and glean information without being accusatory and immediately demanding he defend himself, which is what it sounds like she did. JP walked into that meeting expecting common courtesy from Ashley's family, as he had done nothing to cause any of them alarm that we know of, and he didn't get it from Chrystie. Just as Ashley seems to have communication problems, her sister seems to also have them, along with a heaping dose of tactlessness.

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