Andi Dorfman & Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - General Discussion #2

Alanna wrote:

mindless wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:That's exactly what she needs. A wealthy older guy who wants her as arm candy and she can shop till she drops looking fabulous with the title as socialite.

You mean someone like Kelly's fiancé? Sorry, can't help being cynical about that love story.

I actually wouldn't be surprised if Andi and Josh love story started nose diving when those two got engaged and Andi was like, "wtf am I doing right now with a normal dude?!?!"

I would be utterly shocked if she doesn't end up with someone like that. RS made it seem like that's how the real estate guy was. I think that's exactly what she wants and needs. Someone loaded, nerdy, quiet and will allow her to take control. I don't think she has aspirations to go to Hollywood, but I think she would love to do what she's doing now, which isn't a whole lot of anything or anything that requires her to have that normal every day job. And like I said, given she had two relationships, whether they were serious or not, before filming shows me that perhaps she didn't want a forever type of relationship necessarily.

She couldn't even go 3 months without getting in a casual relationship with a loaded guy

GuardianAngel wrote:

mindless wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:That's exactly what she needs. A wealthy older guy who wants her as arm candy and she can shop till she drops looking fabulous with the title as socialite.

You mean someone like Kelly's fiancé? Sorry, can't help being cynical about that love story.

Yes, exactly that. Kelly was all to happy to post her engagement invitations pics in the middle of all this living up to her mean girls club. She says it came in the mail, Jan 9th, it says the party is January 24th. Did she mail this to herself, isn't that kind of late to send invitations out to be received 2 weeks before the event?

Couldn't she wait a few more days to give the shout out to the company and not make it look like a dig to her BFF?

It won't be long before we see Andi in this same situation, with the same type of b/friend. That's my prediction.

Ehh I'm sure it's ok as Hunter must be under super strict instructions to bring back a good one for Andi also, no excuses

Alanna wrote:

mindless wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:That's exactly what she needs. A wealthy older guy who wants her as arm candy and she can shop till she drops looking fabulous with the title as socialite.

You mean someone like Kelly's fiancé? Sorry, can't help being cynical about that love story.

I actually wouldn't be surprised if Andi and Josh love story started nose diving when those two got engaged and Andi was like, "wtf am I doing right now with a normal dude?!?!"

Yeah and I bet all the houses Andi wanted to look at were out of Josh's price range.

Hunter reminds me of the husband of someone I know. I know nothing about him, other than he has no problem with Kelly's behaviour, language or rudeness, and that's fine. The person I know, is in her late 50's, she dresses and acts like a young girl/immature lady, who's only objective is to end up in someone's bed at the end of the day. She is going to break her ankles one day with her over the knee I have a special name for boots.

She drinks heavily at any opportunity that she can be it staff parties lunch on a Friday or casual office get together.

Then there's her husband, sweet quiet spoken guy, retired, and golfs a lot in the summer, who just smiles at her, and is always available to pick her up around town all hours of the night/morning, because she's too plastered.

mindless wrote:

SueSt wrote:Andi summarized her attraction to each man many times on the show.  Josh was handsome, gregarious, goofy, ex-Athlete, warm, fun.  Nick was passionate, mature, thoughtful, analytical, articulate. (Of course each man had other characteristics too but these are the ones Andi kept referring to.)  She was pulled to each man for different reasons.

Andi chose her 'dream' guy', Josh, the guy she always wanted.  And it was the right choice, she had to choose Josh to see her dream through. And in this light, I guess, it would have been impossible for her to choose Nick. (As Atem keeps reminding us/me Andi chose Josh.   )  

So Andi’s destiny was to finally have what she said she always wanted.  But to my eyes, Andi’s experience showed her that her dream (what she said wanted) couldn't give her what she really needed...

And what follows are my thoughts based on my own life experiences.  I share them here knowing they will not resonate with those of you who believe Andi and Josh belong together…

I have suffered this type of ‘realignment’ in my life, and in my experience, there’s no way to know you are on the wrong path ahead of time; you only know in hindsight.  And confronting the end of a dream, I have tried (as I saw Andi do at the Premiere last week) to will the dream to work with every ounce of steely determination I could muster.  But desire and will is not enough if it’s the wrong dream.  

And you finally have to let go… and it leaves you shattered and confused; your whole life is upside down.  And afterwards, if you’re open (not blaming other people or circumstances), there can be a long period of thoughtful and often painful introspection to understand how you got to where you are.  But taking the time to understand your choices leads you out of the rubble and helps you find your way forward.

Despite how heartless Andi was towards Nick; karmaically, I hope she can find her way and move forward.

Well said! I agree. She went with her usual type again despite her reservations and I can only hope she realises now that it's not working out and it's time to realign. It sounds like both Andi and Josh have very little experience in serious relationships, so hopefully this will serve as a lesson on what it is they really need rather than want.  

Great summary Sue .  Mindless, your definition of "cerebral connection" was bang on .

Joining in the discussion, I never got the sense that Andi was naturally introspective; definitely agree with everyone that she is an analytical type of person.  To me, Sharleen Joynt was both analytical & introspective; Andi just analytical.  This would account for differencs in how each approached their break up with JPG - Sharleen stated what was missing and described her state of mind to JPG whilst Andi just listed her "concerns". 
I think both also share the trait of "intensity" but it is expressed in different ways.  Sharleen's intensity is quieter whereas Andi is by nature more assertive.  Different personality types. In other words, I'm not convinced Andi seeks a cerebral connection.  She did seem to hint that her relationship with Nick was foreign to her (first time) and it did seem she was describing a cerebral connection but I think her not being very introspective makes that type of relationship an uncomfortable event for her at this time in her life.

 to the discussion about "fun".  It is very important.  I like that Chris Soules, in an interview, stressed the importance of his "soul mate" sharing his sense of humour as it would be important to get them through the inevitable tough times in life.  Andi seems to put a lot of importance on "fun" as she mentioned it as being a barrier when she broke up with Nick and often used the word in interviews post show.  Fun can be defined in many ways... depends on the person and what it means to them.   I agree that Josh likes to goof around and has often shown a particular brand of "fun".  With the right person, he could make a day easy going and enjoyable. 

I think they broke up because they, or one of them,  found out/decided  they aren't well suited.  Momma Murray's statement about the engagement allowing them to essentially get to know each other makes me think they did and came to the realization (one or both of them - we will never know because TPTB always controls the message) that there would be no wedding. 

If the story about Andi dating someone before each show opportunity is true then it sounds like she thought, each time, the grass would be greener on the show or that being on the show was more of a priority than nurturing whatever relationship she had at the time. If the dating preshow stories are correct, it contradicts what she said in an interview pre-her own season.  She said she wasn't able to meet anyone in Atlanta.  But then again, she also said her  law career was very important yet quit.  As to the latter, I really have never heard of anyone needing to quit their job to work on a relationship or plan a wedding. Also, many have kept their jobs and still been able to take advantage of post- show opportunities.  (She could have "designed" her t-shirt and kept her day job).  If you have a passion for your career you manage both. All her pre-season publicity sold her as a "lawyer" package.  Look at Ashley H. who continued dentistry school while her season aired and Des who moved yet managed to align herself with a design firm to continue her passion for fashion.

 Might it not have been difficult for Josh to return from work every day to someone who was suddenly not the career woman he proposed to?  It's fine to change careers but to suddenly have no workplace to go to would have impacted Josh as although she would have her "Bachelorette" paycheque her days would look much different and since they lived together his would be the one having to emotionally support someone transitioning from a former job with long hours to essentially no job and therefore not much routine professional/intellectual stimulation plus no daily work contact with other people. Suddenly being engaged, living together, and having 1 at home most days is a lot of change.  But bottom line, strong couples weather all that life hands them; couples that can't are just not well matched and are better people with other people.

Wow, I feel so out of the loop. Kelly who and who is her fiancee? I do not want to hijack the thread, so someone could PM me!!

mindless wrote:

SueSt wrote:Andi summarized her attraction to each man many times on the show.  Josh was handsome, gregarious, goofy, ex-Athlete, warm, fun.  Nick was passionate, mature, thoughtful, analytical, articulate. (Of course each man had other characteristics too but these are the ones Andi kept referring to.)  She was pulled to each man for different reasons.

Andi chose her 'dream' guy', Josh, the guy she always wanted.  And it was the right choice, she had to choose Josh to see her dream through. And in this light, I guess, it would have been impossible for her to choose Nick. (As Atem keeps reminding us/me Andi chose Josh.   )  

So Andi’s destiny was to finally have what she said she always wanted.  But to my eyes, Andi’s experience showed her that her dream (what she said wanted) couldn't give her what she really needed...

And what follows are my thoughts based on my own life experiences.  I share them here knowing they will not resonate with those of you who believe Andi and Josh belong together…

I have suffered this type of ‘realignment’ in my life, and in my experience, there’s no way to know you are on the wrong path ahead of time; you only know in hindsight.  And confronting the end of a dream, I have tried (as I saw Andi do at the Premiere last week) to will the dream to work with every ounce of steely determination I could muster.  But desire and will is not enough if it’s the wrong dream.  

And you finally have to let go… and it leaves you shattered and confused; your whole life is upside down.  And afterwards, if you’re open (not blaming other people or circumstances), there can be a long period of thoughtful and often painful introspection to understand how you got to where you are.  But taking the time to understand your choices leads you out of the rubble and helps you find your way forward.

Despite how heartless Andi was towards Nick; karmaically, I hope she can find her way and move forward.

Well said! I agree. She went with her usual type again despite her reservations and I can only hope she realises now that it's not working out and it's time to realign. It sounds like both Andi and Josh have very little experience in serious relationships, so hopefully this will serve as a lesson on what it is they really need rather than want.  

Thanks Mindless... I also agree that A&J's lack of serious relationship experience was a key factor in their demise. They didn’t have enough experience to make sense of what was really going on … and so fell in love (to quote my boyfriend, sorry Nutty!! ) with the idea of one another, not each other.

GuardianAngel wrote:That's exactly what she needs. A wealthy older guy who wants her as arm candy and she can shop till she drops looking fabulous with the title as socialite. She can blog and design T shirts all day in between pani's and pedi's.

No one will be interested in him, so she can be the focus of attention whenever they step out.

I really don't mean to be sarcastic. This is who I think she needs to meet up with, because she will never change. JMHO of who Andi Dorfman is.

As far as the two of them not being able to work on their relationship because of all the travelling, I'm sorry but I have to disagree. If two people are 100% in love with each other who trust each other completely with no doubts, nothing would stand in the way of their relationship, job family travelling girl pics, nothing.

IMO comments like we love each other but can't live with each other, means you don't really love each other.

True this! GA!!

nutty1 wrote:Wow, I feel so out of the loop. Kelly who and who is her fiancee? I do not want to hijack the thread, so someone could PM me!!

The third prong in the trifecta of mean girls from JPab's season...Andi, Nikki and Kelly (the one with the dog) and lots of snark about everyone.

Andi was in a 4 year relationship with her last boyfriend.  He must have been the one that cheated on her.

Has there been any sightings recently of Andi or any SM. She seems to have disappeared. I am hoping she is getting lots of love and support from her family.

Great post nr. The discrepancies that Andi makes every time she opens her mouth is the number one reason I disliked her. The number 2 reason is the the way she says it with a fake conviction with added fake facial expressions.

She has flipped flopped her way the last 1 1 /2 yrs that I really don't think she herself knows what she wants. She now has to re prioritize herself with goals but more importantly the desire to have a goal.

There are plenty of us who worked full time jobs, raised children, managed a home, took vacations, all with a loving husband.(some without) When you're a strong independent woman, you are organized in your life, and you love doing it all for your husband and your children. You forgo the little things, and are happy to do so. I can never see her at this point, wanting any of the above.

The fact that she hasn't changed her status on twitter, or still has a lot of pics up, IMO tells me Josh was the one who decided it was best to end the relationship. He's the one who immediately started making changes on SM. Whether he was told to or not, the changes are there, which tells me he's ready to move forward sooner than later.

We'll see a pic of her I'm sure at Kelly's engagement party in a couple of weeks.