Andi Dorfman & Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - General Discussion #2

lurker11 wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:

aviej wrote:^ Well in the same interview she said she's a multi-tasker and she says she thinks she can do the wife, kids and career. But I know when kids come into the picture they sometimes change the whole dynamic, but that is where her head is right now. What actually pans out might be a different story, who knows.

No offense but that is contradicting herself in the same interview.  Whatever they decide will be fine.

I think what Andi meant in this interview was more, i can't be 100% committed to the law because I can't be taking time off of work to do all these things that are popping up right now. I think that is very different than her saying she won't be able to be a mother and work.

Exactly. Thank you.

All I know is that each one of us is only capable of giving a grand total of 100% of ourselves. How an individual divvies up that 100% is his or her personal choice, challenge, and life burden. We all have the same task. Just different life circumstances.

My only piece of unsolicited advice to Andi would be this:  Realize that Perfectionism can be your worst enemy. It's a lie. It's not possible.  Strive for excellence in all that you do, but accept the limitations of being a person with conflicting needs. You may be able to have it all, just not all at the same time.

Yeah there is no way Andi could work as a lawyer and do all the stuff on the side, meaning her appearances and whatever is under the wraps as I am sure there is something. I worked in public accounting for years which has crazy hours, like 100 hours a week, I could barely do my laundry let alone anything else.

Once you have kids employers even in the demanding industries, I.e. Law or accouting will make efforts to ensure you can manage both. Those employers won't do that for other time commitments so I think it makes sense for her to take time away.

I do hope if law is really what she loves she eventually goes back. If it isn't then as long as she loves what she does good for her.

MiaHawk wrote:All I know is that each one of us is only capable of giving a grand total of 100% of ourselves. How an individual divvies up that 100% is his or her personal choice, challenge, and life burden. We all have the same task. Just different life circumstances.

My only piece of unsolicited advice to Andi would be this:  Realize that Perfectionism can be your worst enemy. It's a lie. It's not possible.  Strive for excellence in all that you do, but accept the limitations of being a person with conflicting needs. You may be able to have it all, just not all at the same time.

Mia so true, learning to accept that you can only give so much is a hard life lesson to learn.

stuckinsc wrote:

aviej wrote:^ Well in the same interview she said she's a multi-tasker and she says she thinks she can do the wife, kids and career. But I know when kids come into the picture they sometimes change the whole dynamic, but that is where her head is right now. What actually pans out might be a different story, who knows.

No offense but that is contradicting herself in the same interview.  Whatever they decide will be fine.

Ashley managed all of the real-world commitments of completing her internship, Bachelorette duties & wedding planning quite well. Maybe she can help Andi.

FLChica wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:

aviej wrote:^ Well in the same interview she said she's a multi-tasker and she says she thinks she can do the wife, kids and career. But I know when kids come into the picture they sometimes change the whole dynamic, but that is where her head is right now. What actually pans out might be a different story, who knows.

No offense but that is contradicting herself in the same interview.  Whatever they decide will be fine.

Ashley managed all of the real-world commitments of completing her internship, Bachelorette duties & wedding planning quite well. Maybe she can help Andi.

Andi didn't say it was impossible or that no one could do it. Andi said she wouldn't want to be in law right now knowing she wouldn't be able to give it 100%. It's her decision. She made the choice. She didn't state others couldn't do it. For her, she stated once everything settles down, she'll go back to it.

FLChica wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:

aviej wrote:^ Well in the same interview she said she's a multi-tasker and she says she thinks she can do the wife, kids and career. But I know when kids come into the picture they sometimes change the whole dynamic, but that is where her head is right now. What actually pans out might be a different story, who knows.

No offense but that is contradicting herself in the same interview.  Whatever they decide will be fine.

Ashley managed all of the real-world commitments of completing her internship, Bachelorette duties & wedding planning quite well. Maybe she can help Andi.

Andi and Ashley are such different people. I don't Ashley had interest in tv or fashion or any of that. She seems to love dentistry and her family with JP. The other stuff was fun, but never her focus.

I think Andi is a lot more like Ali, they both have an interest in the tv, fashion, etc opportunities of the bachelorette. So they both took time to go for it. Andi can go back to law if she wants and honestly, if she doesn't that is okay too. Yes, she has said she will and she might, but she also said she was going back in August and didn't so she may change her mind again.

As Mia has pointed out it is Andi's right and since this is a discussion thread we are all allowed to discuss our opinions of it.

Andi and Ashley were also in different places of their life. If I remember correctly, Ashley wasn't a certified dentist yet. Did she have her degree or was she finished with school yet when she was done with the bachelorette?

When Andi was finished with the bachelorette, she already had her bachelor's degree in communications and her law degree. She was finished. She didn't need to rush back into school or an internship to complete anything. She had her degree and they weren't going anywhere.

IMO, two very different scenarios.

Ashley had about 6 months of schooling to finish(a semester or more--it's different when you're talking about clinicals) and then her dental internship.
I believe right about the time her internship finished is when she got preggers. But my time frame is not precisely exact with all of this.
I think it was due to where her internship was that indicated the move from NYC to the Princeton, NJ area so it would be a bit of a commute for her and JP equally.
The bottom line is, you do what you have to do. Sometimes it's not what you want to do, sometimes it is.

Thanks for the info.

That's my point. Ashley still had a lot left to complete. It's awesome that once she was done with the show she worked hard to complete everything she needed to school wise. Andi didn't need to complete anything school wise because she was finished. She had her two degrees set in stone. Ashley didn't and therefore didn't have the leisure of taking time off. She could have if she wanted to I suppose, but I would assume she felt the need to complete it all and get her degree. She went straight back into school, but who's to say if she was already a certified dentist at the end of the show that she would have hopped right back into it? She might not have if she was in the same situation as Andi being done with school and was certified. She might have wanted some time off too. They were both at different stages.

Kudos to Ashley, but IMO, I just found the comparison not really valid, but that's just my opinion. Ya, you do what you have to do, but there's a large difference between having already graduated with two separate degrees set in stone knowing you'll always have those there versus not being finished with school. Andi didn't say it was impossible to do everything at once. She just said for her, it wasn't something she wanted to do right now.

Yeah, we all have different strengths, weaknesses and methods of coping. It's ok.

Ash2214 wrote:Thanks for the info.

That's my point. Ashley still had a lot left to complete. It's awesome that once she was done with the show she worked hard to complete everything she needed to school wise. Andi didn't need to complete anything school wise because she was finished. She had her two degrees set in stone. Ashley didn't and therefore didn't have the leisure of taking time off. She could have if she wanted to I suppose, but I would assume she felt the need to complete it all and get her degree. She went straight back into school, but who's to say if she was already a certified dentist at the end of the show that she would have hopped right back into it? She might not have if she was in the same situation as Andi being done with school and was certified. She might have wanted some time off too. They were both at different stages.

Kudos to Ashley, but IMO, I just found the comparison not really valid, but that's just my opinion. Ya, you do what you have to do, but there's a large difference between having already graduated with two separate degrees set in stone knowing you'll always have those there versus not being finished with school. Andi didn't say it was impossible to do everything at once. She just said for her, it wasn't something she wanted to do right now.

Just to clarify. Ashley had about one semester to finish for her DMD or DDS, not sure which she is. She could have chosen to practice after that. She chose residency, which is a two to three year program, I believe in Pediatric Dentistry, but that I am not sure of. So she could have quickly been graduated and in full practice if she chose. She went for more extensive training.

No offense, but the bachelors degree now, is almost a compulsory degree and Ashley had also long ago completed hers before she was the bachelorette as well. Dental school is also at least one more year than law school and can actually take longer if the clinical aspects are not completed (this is unfortunately all based on patient availability). In addition, while lawyers must base a bar exam, dentists must complete board exams to practice. Dental school also has requirements of hours put in to dental work before you qualify to even enter dental school, I am not sure that law school has those same requirements. I know back in the 1990s law schools did not. It was basically a bachelors degree and taking the LSAT, actually this was true at least through 2004. It may have changed since then.

Also with the point Ashley was at, she had to finish the degree, but she wouldn't have made it that far already if she wasn't going to be able to finish her degree.

When you have clinical aspects of your training it is very different then when it is all book work.

Andi has completed what she needed as a minimum, though like Ashley's decision to do a residency, many lawyers do internships with judges and such if they are interested in furthering their careers or more learning. So Andi could have also made that choice.

I think Andi is happy. She does have her degrees.

I am also not sure how if being a lawyer there is a time you can be out of practice and go back without some kind of re-certification. I think in most health fields with an extended absence you may have to go back and do some additional qualifications to get back into active practice.

I do think Ashley had a more firm love of her chosen field and had probably put a lot more preliminary effort into getting into that career. That is perfectly okay.

Andi is exploring options that is okay too. I will believe Andi is going back to law when she does. And that is just because she keeps extending her time away from it. She, like everyone else, is entitled to get a degree and decide if she still wants to use it or if she would rather choose another course. Andi would not be the first lawyer who I met who got through law school and into their first law job and realized that maybe it wasn't what they expected it to be. She is still quite young and can have many careers if she chooses. Heck she can take the next ten years off, start a family and then go back. Nothing is ruled out and she and Josh will decide together what is better for them together.