Re: Andi Dorfman & Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - General Discussion #2

by Ash2214 Sun Nov 02, 2014 3:49 pm

^ Really well said.

Andi has a bachelor's degree in communications and her degree in law. Those aren't going anywhere. She's 27 with plenty of time to figure it all out. She probably made more money this past year than she ever has before. Josh is still working. If they think they're good financially right now, why wouldn't she be able to explore? It's her decision and I'm guessing perhaps one her and Josh have talked about. Exploring yourself and exploring many different possibilities is what you should do when you're young. For some people, that unfortunately isn't a possibility, but if it is, you should take it.

by vivi2 Sun Nov 02, 2014 4:13 pm

Mia, YOU speak my language today. :cutesmile!:

by Bet2Win Sun Nov 02, 2014 4:26 pm

stuckinsc wrote:I am the poster girl for the non-traditional path. I have had two careers and am in graduate school for the second time. All my careers have revolved around science, but I enjoy many aspects and will probably end up in a slightly different path again once I earn my PhD and follow my husband who has the harder to place job.

As for Andi, I have no problem with her not wanting to be a lawyer anymore. I am sorry if that was lost in her lengthy post. I think she should just own it. It is nothing to be ashamed of. You can train for something, think you will love it and then realize it isn't your dream or passion. I support that for everyone, woman or man.

She and TPTB sold her as the lawyer and I have read that she plans to go back. My point is that I don't think she should unless she wants to. I am okay with her not going back. I don't care about how much time or money you spent on your education, if you aren't happy with what you do then find your joy.

I think that for everyone. Trust me, if you told me that I would be hoping to finish my PhD just before my 44th birthday, I would have thought you were nuts. For me other things in life took precedence over the time and energy and lack of money commitment that science graduate school requires.

Mods can delete my post if it was inappropriate, I just wanted to explain why I don't like Andi in what I hoped was not an snippy or offensive way. Since, I think most of what I say may come off as attacking when it isn't meant that way.

There is nothing wrong with your post. You also don't have to explain why you don't care for her, but if you choose to do so, that's okay too!

I enjoyed watching Courtney and not Andi ~ go figure. laugh out loud

by Amberish Sun Nov 02, 2014 4:40 pm

Eviebloom wrote:is there ever a reasonable time to pass judgement on another person? Not sure that I feel confident ever setting that time line. Unless it is my kids and they are not supporting themselves.

That's ok, but that's me and why I said, "personally" ... I don't love Andy and don't hate her, either, and not invested in anything she does.

However, what I didn't say in my post and what I could have said to better explain is, IMO, some of this is really out of her hands, in that if Andy intends to return to her previous work, she needed to take a break given the position is high profile enough that the notoriety of her being the last Bachelor show star might interfere.

Anyway, I wasn't speaking to anyone else's reasoning, just my own. Smiley

by Guest Sun Nov 02, 2014 4:54 pm

There have been some great posts lately in this discussion (I especially liked Mia's), but one thing I would like to add that I don't feel has been touched on is Andi's desire to spend quality time with Josh right now. She stated this in a recent interview. Had she gone back to work, especially as an ADA, she would not have been able to do that. It's obviously important to her to build that foundation with Josh right now, and if she is financially secure, why not? That seems to be a priority and it is her choice. Like Ash said, she has her degrees and they aren't going anywhere. When she is ready, she'll get back to focusing on a career, if that's what she wants.

by stuckinsc Sun Nov 02, 2014 5:05 pm

MiaHawk wrote:I just don't think it's realistic to wish that Andi would "admit" anything related to her professional or life aspirations. Why would she? Why would anybody? She doesn't want to burn any bridges. She doesn't want to label herself as someone who really isn't interested in the work. Nobody would stand up and make a pronouncement like that. What would be the purpose of it?

People used to bad mouth Trista all the time and ask how she could say she loved being a pediatric physical therapist yet give up that work when she moved to Colorado to be with Ryan. Somehow, it made people doubt that she had been truthful about liking her work. People thought she must have been lying or that she was insincere. Others thought she was throwing away a good career. Others thought she had gotten swept up in her 15 minutes of fame. People thought a lot of things, for a lot of reasons. And that's okay. That's what people do. But, Trista never owed anybody an explanation and neither does Andi.

Show me a person who stands up and makes a public pronouncement of what they are done with, what they will be doing for the rest of their lives, what piece of themselves no longer exists, the way they are going to live from here on out---and I'll show you a liar.

I like to think of myself as one of those pie graph diagrams. Multi-colored wedges arranged to make a whole circle. From year to year some pieces swell while others recede. At times a color gets squeezed out completely as new colors are introduced. An ever changing sum of all of my parts.

A person cannot speak to what she does not yet know. She owes the world no explanation and herself a lifetime of exploration.

Fair enough.

In my personal experience, I have seen many women fight for jobs and promotions, then change their mind and mommy track themselves. It meant the next woman in line had to work twice as hard to prove that they weren't going to do the same thing. I couldn't blame the bosses either. You spent time and effort with each of your employees and when they fight and request something and then just walk away from it, it is reasonable to hesitate with the next woman of that age that you meet.

I think women should have most of the same rights as men, not all as I have no desire to have to sign up for the draft, but we also need to be honest about the expectations that come with that.

And since I have gone completely off topic, I promise I won't post about this again.

by aviej Thu Nov 06, 2014 5:25 pm

With all the back and forth we have been going we finally have proof as to what Andi's plans are re career. In her latest interview while at Pool After Dark she indicated that she misses law and has every intention of going back. However, due to their extensive travels and commitments etc. she has been unable to devote that time to law. She continued by saying that she is a person who gives 100% in whatever she's doing - physically, mentally and emotionally. And, right now she cannot give that kind of commitment to law, so when the dust has settled, then she'll go back.

Truth be told, Andi has been consistent all along with this view, it's not the first time she said that she's going back to law. I think we can trust her word, don't you?

by Kashathediva Thu Nov 06, 2014 5:33 pm

Hopefully there will be a perfect match for her.

by stuckinsc Fri Nov 07, 2014 12:22 am

aviej wrote:With all the back and forth we have been going we finally have proof as to what Andi's plans are re career. In her latest interview while at Pool After Dark she indicated that she misses law and has every intention of going back. However, due to their extensive travels and commitments etc. she has been unable to devote that time to law. She continued by saying that she is a person who gives 100% in whatever she's doing - physically, mentally and emotionally. And, right now she cannot give that kind of commitment to law, so when the dust has settled, then she'll go back.

Truth be told, Andi has been consistent all along with this view, it's not the first time she said that she's going back to law. I think we can trust her word, don't you?

I am happy for her to do whatever she wants. If it is law, then great. I do wonder if the law takes that much out of her how she and Josh will manage children with her being a lawyer. It would seem to take more energy to raise a child then make some public appearances. I don't have children, but from those I know who do, they take a ton of time and energy.

I have said this before, I would think it would be a great idea to see how they work in real life. If that is Andi working as a lawyer or staying home or whatever it is. I truly don't care. That is her business and now Josh's as well. But Andi has shown herself to have a hard time with really stressful situations so for her I would think it would be good to know how life will actually be day to day.

This is not meant as a criticism of Andi at all. I am one of those people who goes all in as well. So I appreciate that trait in anyone, but it does mean that sometimes you get extra stressed or can even get sick trying to deal with too much at one time. For the sake of long term happiness I think it would be good for her to live in whatever that life will be. I truly do think Andi and Josh should stay together. I am glad whatever hiccup happened between the family seems to be past and they can now focus on the wedding and whatever else makes them happy.

by aviej Fri Nov 07, 2014 1:10 am

^ Well in the same interview she said she's a multi-tasker and she says she thinks she can do the wife, kids and career. But I know when kids come into the picture they sometimes change the whole dynamic, but that is where her head is right now. What actually pans out might be a different story, who knows.

by stuckinsc Fri Nov 07, 2014 3:13 am

aviej wrote:^ Well in the same interview she said she's a multi-tasker and she says she thinks she can do the wife, kids and career. But I know when kids come into the picture they sometimes change the whole dynamic, but that is where her head is right now. What actually pans out might be a different story, who knows.

No offense but that is contradicting herself in the same interview. Whatever they decide will be fine.

by lurker11 Fri Nov 07, 2014 3:16 pm

stuckinsc wrote:
aviej wrote:^ Well in the same interview she said she's a multi-tasker and she says she thinks she can do the wife, kids and career. But I know when kids come into the picture they sometimes change the whole dynamic, but that is where her head is right now. What actually pans out might be a different story, who knows.

No offense but that is contradicting herself in the same interview. Whatever they decide will be fine.

I think what Andi meant in this interview was more, i can't be 100% committed to the law because I can't be taking time off of work to do all these things that are popping up right now. I think that is very different than her saying she won't be able to be a mother and work.

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