Nick Viall - Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - #8

umngirl wrote:Other F2 and F3 have gotten ahold of the lead in less creepy ways to get closure. Sean called Emily although she didn't answer but they gave him some more closure. Lindsey called Sean and they talked for about 15 minutes where she got her ultimate closure. Probably why the ATFR was so calm and drama free. The trying to see the lead, writing letters, etc. just feels like going a but too far for me.

I think it all depends on your personality. If someone told me it was over, it's over. I vent if needed and then I move on. My friend on the other hand analyses things to shreds. We have to discuss it over and over...not to mention her other friends. She also likes to write letters, e-mails, texts...which I tell her not to send, but she usually does. Oh well. She just makes things more difficult for herself, but she is much more emotional than I am. Using the ocean as an analogy: She has lots of peaks and valleys like a stormy sea, whereas I am the even keel of a calm sea. When you have other people in your ear giving you hope, you end up like one of those characters...He/She is just not that into you...or somebody from this show!

Sprite wrote:

albean99 wrote:

ReneeM wrote:It's funny to me because of all the problems people have had with the way Andi handled the nick situation I only had one and that's when she was breaking it off and she didn't flat out say that she was in love with Josh. She focused on the problems with their relationship and left the door open that could let him think that there was still hope. However as I've stated before, Nick did nothing out of character. From the spoiler video, he said he was going to write her a letter, and brought up Jason and Molly, because he hoped Andi would change her mind. That wasn't producers, that was him. So yes, he might have been nudged by producers but they didn't make him do anything he didn't want to do himself.

I think he also said that Andi was too stubborn to change her mind in that video. It's likely that looking back he may have done something differently but I doubt very much he regrets not being the f1. 

For me the reason I hold Andi to a higher standard than Nick or any of the other guys is that she was the lead. I feel that adds the responsibility of taking others' feelings into consideration. They need to remember that no matter what they're feeling, they are the one in control and it's much worse for the others.

Not to mention that she had already been through what they are going through. You would think she would feel more empathy, but instead the power seemed to have gone to her head.

Maybe that's the difference, I think the opposite, I think the lead should be as considerate as they can but ultimately they HAVE to put their own feelings first, that's what the show is about.

Also I think in the end the power got to her, looking at the way she reacted to sending home Cody And Farmer Chris, where I could see how much it hurt her to hurt them.

I think in the end Andi was over Nick. The plane video where he trashed Josh and also she wasn't pleased about how she saw him act when she was watching the season So i don't think she was as bad on aftr as others thought, she was less considerate than she could have been if she still cared about him but after everything she saw I think she was just done with him.

ReneeM wrote:It's funny to me because of all the problems people have had with the way Andi handled the nick situation I only had one and that's when she was breaking it off and she didn't flat out say that she was in love with Josh. She focused on the problems with their relationship and left the door open that could let him think that there was still hope. However as I've stated before, Nick did nothing out of character. From the spoiler video, he said he was going to write her a letter, and brought up Jason and Molly, because he hoped Andi would change her mind. That wasn't producers, that was him. So yes, he might have been nudged by producers but they didn't make him do anything he didn't want to do himself.

The same thing could be said about Andi it was the real Andi who had no empathy for others and was a heartless B during her show and Juans .

No comparison between Arie and Nick, IMO.  

Arie did want to talk with Emily and flew to Charlotte.  Upon arriving, he thought better of it because he respected that she might be engaged to Jef.  Respect that Nick NEVER gave Josh.  It was clear that Nick never respected that there might be another relationship.  And, from the plane phone call, he was clear he didn't respect Josh at all.  He ONLY thought of himself.  Narcicissim to the max.

Arie never talked to Emily and never wrote her a letter.  He left his journal from the show on her doorstep, and accepted that as painful as it was, he would get closure on the ATFR, like other F2s and F3s -- Ben, Brooks, Drew and many, many others before him.  That's what they ALL signed up for.

Unlike the Nickster, Arie did not announce on national TV that they slept together.  Way more class than Nick.  Way more.

ReneeM wrote:

Sprite wrote:

albean99 wrote:

I think he also said that Andi was too stubborn to change her mind in that video. It's likely that looking back he may have done something differently but I doubt very much he regrets not being the f1. 

For me the reason I hold Andi to a higher standard than Nick or any of the other guys is that she was the lead. I feel that adds the responsibility of taking others' feelings into consideration. They need to remember that no matter what they're feeling, they are the one in control and it's much worse for the others.

Not to mention that she had already been through what they are going through. You would think she would feel more empathy, but instead the power seemed to have gone to her head.

Maybe that's the difference, I think the opposite, I think the lead should be as considerate as they can but ultimately they HAVE to put their own feelings first, that's what the show is about.

Also I think in the end the power got to her, looking at the way she reacted to sending home Cody And Farmer Chris, where I could see how much it hurt her to hurt them.

I think in the end Andi was over Nick. The plane video where he trashed Josh and also she wasn't pleased about how she saw him act when she was watching the season So i don't think she was as bad on aftr as others thought, she was less considerate than she could have been if she still cared about him but after everything she saw I think she was just done with him.

I think we all have to ultimately put our own feelings first. As they say, you can't please everyone, but that doesn't mean that you can't be considerate of others and their feelings. Particularly if you have already walked in their shoes.

I do agree, at the end Andi was over it but, unfortunately Nick wasn't. If she had cared, she would have been kinder and we wouldn't have had this mess and we wouldn't be having this discussion.

Sprite wrote:

umngirl wrote:Other F2 and F3 have gotten ahold of the lead in less creepy ways to get closure. Sean called Emily although she didn't answer but they gave him some more closure. Lindsey called Sean and they talked for about 15 minutes where she got her ultimate closure. Probably why the ATFR was so calm and drama free. The trying to see the lead, writing letters, etc. just feels like going a but too far for me.

I think it all depends on your personality. If someone told me it was over, it's over. I vent if needed and then I move on. My friend on the other hand analyses things to shreds. We have to discuss it over and over...not to mention her other friends. She also likes to write letters, e-mails, texts...which I tell her not to send, but she usually does. Oh well. She just makes things more difficult for herself, but she is much more emotional than I am. Using the ocean as an analogy: She has lots of peaks and valleys like a stormy sea, whereas I am the even keel of a calm sea. When you have other people in your ear giving you hope, you end up like one of those characters...He/She is just not that into you...or somebody from this show!

Maybe so, but I still feel it's going too far. It sounds a little too stalkerish for my taste.

umngirl wrote:

Sprite wrote:

umngirl wrote:Other F2 and F3 have gotten ahold of the lead in less creepy ways to get closure. Sean called Emily although she didn't answer but they gave him some more closure. Lindsey called Sean and they talked for about 15 minutes where she got her ultimate closure. Probably why the ATFR was so calm and drama free. The trying to see the lead, writing letters, etc. just feels like going a but too far for me.

I think it all depends on your personality. If someone told me it was over, it's over. I vent if needed and then I move on. My friend on the other hand analyses things to shreds. We have to discuss it over and over...not to mention her other friends. She also likes to write letters, e-mails, texts...which I tell her not to send, but she usually does. Oh well. She just makes things more difficult for herself, but she is much more emotional than I am. Using the ocean as an analogy: She has lots of peaks and valleys like a stormy sea, whereas I am the even keel of a calm sea. When you have other people in your ear giving you hope, you end up like one of those characters...He/She is just not that into you...or somebody from this show!

Maybe so, but I still feel it's going too far. It sounds a little too stalkerish for my taste.

Oh I agree. I feel that way about my friend and have told her so...look at it from their point of view...how it comes across. It has gotten her in trouble, nevertheless, that is her personality and makes it easier for others to manipulate her and take advantage....like producers from this show. If she was ever cast, she would end up one of ones who are a crying, sputtering mess out on the wet driveway.

alwaystulips wrote:No comparison between Arie and Nick, IMO.  

Arie did want to talk with Emily and flew to Charlotte.  Upon arriving, he thought better of it because he respected that she might be engaged to Jef.  Respect that Nick NEVER gave Josh.  It was clear that Nick never respected that there might be another relationship.  And, from the plane phone call, he was clear he didn't respect Josh at all.  He ONLY thought of himself.  Narcicissim to the max.

Arie never talked to Emily and never wrote her a letter.  He left his journal from the show on her doorstep, and accepted that as painful as it was, he would get closure on the ATFR, like other F2s and F3s -- Ben, Brooks, Drew and many, many others before him.  That's what they ALL signed up for.

Unlike the Nickster, Arie did not announce on national TV that they slept together.  Way more class than Nick.  Way more.

You have to earn respect to get respect and no where have I seen that Josh respected Nick just the opposite. He has said some very cruel things about Nick after the show where Nick has just said he wishes them the best.
As far as the airplane conversation Nick was hurt and confused because Andi lead him on like no other lead has.
When it comes to Arie he was friends with Jef at the time Nick and Josh were not friends .

Ash2214 wrote:I'm on my phone, but all you have to do is check his IG. In almost every picture he's not smiling. His lips are closed, turned to the side, push out a bit, and he's doing the side kissy face that I used to do in high school. As for the edited pics, again, just about all of them are, specifically the one of him taking a selfie in his bed. If you want one of him doing the side kissy face and the edited picture, the one of him taking a selfie with headphones in apparently coming from the gym is a great one.

You mean like my avatar? 

I happen to like his selfies so that's not a problem to me. 
On a different topic:
Again, I could be totally wrong, but I don't remember Nick talking about writing a letter on his video. I don't remember RS saying about a letter until the preview showed it. So I am curious to know when RS found out about it? Did he show the text the woman sent him? So no way for us to know when Nick wrote the letter right after he got back or near taping go MTA. Also, he didn't mention Jason and Molly by name on the video, so no way we will know if the producers fed him the info. 
As for contacting Andi privately like Arie or Linsey, again, we don't know if Nick had tried but was denied. I don't blame Andi for not talking to Nick privately because I think TPTB wants the whole drama unfolded in front of viewers for rating and publicity. 
Post ATFR, I follow Nick on his SM, and I agree with Kasha posted in a different thread, he hasn't shown any sign of creepiness. He is quietly leading a normal life, which I admire and I also applaud his maturity of not responding to any negative comments.

^ Regardless, Nick said some disrespectful things about Josh on that plane video. As we watched the season and saw deleted scenes, it's clear Nick was disrespectful of Josh before that plane video. Again, Nick tried to contact Josh's fiance more than once to see her and once was while they were together in Mexico, Nick posted pictures of him with Andi to his social media, and wrote a letter stating Josh was the wrong choice and that Nick wanted a second chance and then proceeded to tell millions of people that Andi slept with him in the FS. I'm sorry, but I don't blame Josh one bit for being upset with Nick for pursuing his fiance weeks and months after Andi dumped him and then for essentially shaming Andi on the ATFR.

sdmom wrote:

Ash2214 wrote:I'm on my phone, but all you have to do is check his IG. In almost every picture he's not smiling. His lips are closed, turned to the side, push out a bit, and he's doing the side kissy face that I used to do in high school. As for the edited pics, again, just about all of them are, specifically the one of him taking a selfie in his bed. If you want one of him doing the side kissy face and the edited picture, the one of him taking a selfie with headphones in apparently coming from the gym is a great one.

You mean like my avatar? 

I happen to like his selfies so that's not a problem to me. 
On a different topic:
Again, I could be totally wrong, but I don't remember Nick talking about writing a letter on his video. I don't remember RS saying about a letter until the preview showed it. So I am curious to know when RS found out about it? Did he show the text the woman sent him? So no way for us to know when Nick wrote the letter right after he got back or near taping go MTA. Also, he didn't mention Jason and Molly by name on the video, so no way we will know if the producers fed him the info. 
As for contacting Andi privately like Arie or Linsey, again, we don't know if Nick had tried but was denied. I don't blame Andi for not talking to Nick privately because I think TPTB wants the whole drama unfolded in front of viewers for rating and publicity. 
Post ATFR, I follow Nick on his SM, and I agree with Kasha posted in a different thread, he hasn't shown any sign of creepiness. He is quietly leading a normal life, which I admire and I also applaud his maturity of not responding to any negative comments.

In regards to the selfies, I was just simply stating my opinion. It's fine that you like them. I personally find it funny that a 34 year old man does a kissy face in his selfies and then edits them or puts a filter on every picture, but that's just me.

When it comes to Nick's creepiness on social media, I thought it was weird that he followed some random guy that tweeted disgusting and sexual things about Andi and the same guy also cut out Josh's face in pictures and put Nick's in instead. Nick's still following him. I personally thought it was weird too that Nick apparently follows Selma's teenage or very early 20's sister that posts very revealing pictures of herself. Obviously Selma's sister wasn't on the show, so Nick had to have done some "creeping" to find the sister and follow her on social media. The sister doesn't follow Nick back, so I'm guessing they don't know each other. To each their own though. Someone people won't find that weird and others will. It's good to have different opinions.

Prior to Nick trashing Josh, I never saw josh disrespecting him. The reason Nick was so heartbroken and caught so off guard was his own fault because the entire season he refused to respect or even acknowledge her relationships with the other guys. Josh in contrast always acknowledged that he didn't know what her relationships with others were like. He was always aware of the possibility that Andi might not choose him while Nick actively ignored that.

And what did nick do to earn respect from Josh? Said some nice words AFTER trashing him? If I were josh that would mean nothing to me