Andi Dorfman & Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 - General Discussion

Maggenzm wrote:I am glad she doesn't care what people think about her. she is happy with her man, got family and friends that love her, and that's all that matters really.

Abe Lincoln wrote:You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time.

luvlady345 wrote:I guess the reason why I am drawn to Andi because out of all the ETTES I identify most with her I am soft and warm when I need to be and take no prisoner when the need arises.....

vivi2 wrote:
PS. Regardless of my opinion, if Andi is so "bad", why more than one guy fell in love with her?  Were they lying or just love in the bubble hence not real love?

Lucas15 wrote:

Maggenzm wrote:I am glad she doesn't care what people think about her. she is happy with her man, got family and friends that love her, and that's all that matters really.

I think Andi has learned this timeless lesson:

Abe Lincoln wrote:You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time.

luvlady345 wrote:I guess the reason why I am drawn to Andi because out of all the ETTES I identify most with her I am soft and warm when I need to be and take no prisoner when the need arises.....

If you want to see the warm and soft side of Andi just re-watch the breakup scene with Chris S (which I did yesterday). That side of Andi combined with Chris' gentle and nurturing nature made for some of the best TV I've ever seen out of this show - and it was a break-up scene.

atem wrote:

vivi2 wrote:
PS. Regardless of my opinion, if Andi is so "bad", why more than one guy fell in love with her?  Were they lying or just love in the bubble hence not real love?

Hello, Marcus fell in love with another girl in a few days after meeting her on another tv show. Chris S is possibly the next Bachelor and Cody isn't still pining for her and others have moved on too.

I am wondering if people get amnesia, because the last time I looked all the Bachelorette's have guys claiming they are in love.

luvlady345 wrote:I guess the reason why I am drawn to Andi because out of all the ETTES I identify most with her I am soft and warm when I need to be and take no prisoner when the need arises.....  I don't make any apologies for who I am I imagine the same for Andi......I am sure the people in Andi's life love her for who she is and those who don't know her and not like her, really who cares?

Lucas15 wrote:

luvlady345 wrote:I guess the reason why I am drawn to Andi because out of all the ETTES I identify most with her I am soft and warm when I need to be and take no prisoner when the need arises.....  I don't make any apologies for who I am I imagine the same for Andi......I am sure the people in Andi's life love her for who she is and those who don't know her and not like her, really who cares?

I am married (30+ years) to a woman just like that. She has an iron will and you can't bend it; she's the only one who can (and when appropriate does) bend. Some people like that (I like that) and some people don't. The thing is, the people who like her really like her and I really like the people that like her. It makes for a great combination with a lot of friends that we like who like us both individually and as a couple. I suspect it's the same for you luvlady.

ironcat wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:I know for me, I really like Josh and was a big fan before the season.  Before the episode, I was actually all for Josh and Andi.  It took watching her interact with him for me to jump off that train.  So it wasn't a predisposition again Josh that colored my opinion, it was the actions of Andi (albeit the edited actions of Andi) that turned me off for the couple.  Alanna and I spent one episode talking about how cranky she was being to him.  I think a lot of Jodi fans found it charming, it just made me feel like Josh deserved much better.  I no longer feel that way, Josh is happy with Andi, and I wish the best for them.  I am just not interested enough to actively follow or post in the fan thread.

I do not think Andi would have kept Eric until F4 or F6 on her own.  While they had a great first date and Eric was in my opinion a total package, she seemed to grow less comfortable with him.  Episode three when she interrupted her time with Eric to read Nick's note with the flowers.  I compare this to how Emily or was it Ashley treated the letter from the guy who interrupted time with someone else to hand it to her.  The lead that time said thank you, but tried to delay the interruption until the other person forced the issue.  Andi was delivered flowers and could not wait to read the card/letter.  It was rude to Eric to do so.  It would not have hurt Andi at all to wait until after her time with Eric, but she either was too excited to wait or didn't care enough for Eric to wait.  I do think if all things were equal, Andi would probably have let Eric go that week.  Her interactions with him in week 4 showed that her personal interest in him was waning, not as a human, but as a possible boyfriend/fiance.  I don't think if allowed to send home the guys she knew didn't have a chance as her F1, that Eric would have make it past episode 3.  She didn't have that choice and I think that is what Eric sensed.  I don't blame her, as I don't think Andi is all that good of an actress, and the stress of leading on a man who was intelligent, but wasn't necessarily buying into the bubble was probably hard for her.

Anyway, it is just my opinion, but I don't TPTB did Andi or Josh any favors with the edit.  I would have liked to see more of the fun, smart and silly Josh that we weren't allowed to see.  I also know their was more to the love story between them, but honestly to me, I only started to see glimpses of it in Brussels when she let her ADA mask slip for a while, I did see it from HTDs on, but even then it was peppered with her doubt and lack of trust.  I bet a lot of leads feel this, but with Andi they chose to emphasize it much more than in the past, except for maybe Ian.  But then as much as I loved Ian, I didn't think Ian was ready for marriage.  A longterm girlfriend, yes, but marriage? Nope.  Not a knock on Ian at all.

With all due respect, when you're a fan of one of the guys, but not a fan of the couple, I think it does color your perception of everything as well.  And of course, what constitutes a "bad edit" is relative.  Did they make the show "The Josh Show", play up every good and noble quality he had, and highlight how wonderful he was every moment, the way they did with Chris L?  Not at all, but I still wouldn't call what he got a bad edit, compared to many others.  Some people also thought Ashley's JP got a bad edit, mostly because of the one episode where he was jealous, but in my mind, he got one of the best edits.  Different strokes for different folks I guess.

Regarding Eric, I agree that Andi wasn't into him, but I don't think it was only because he wasn't into her.  I just don't think they were very compatible, saw absoutely zero sparks on their date (surely the producers picked him for the first date, NOT Andi, and may have even told her she had to give him a rose because he was such a "golden boy" even though I suspect she knew after one date he wasn't "the one"), and if they hadn't gotten into the fight (and if Eric didn't make it clear to production that he wasn't buying into the manipulation and wouldn't make a good lead anyway), I think he would have possibly lasted into the F6, with producer intervention, but no further, just because Andi was really only interested AT ALL (romantically) in her top 4 IMO, so wouldn't really have cared enough about the order of the other rejects to fight over it.

• A strong woman will have a strong personality to hold on to her convictions and beliefs whether that is initially wrong or right.  
  
• A strong woman is self-aware and have the emotional intelligence to handle conflicts with the right decorum, whether emotions need to be exhibited or not.
  
• A strong woman will listen to others opinions and will be gracious in identifying her mistakes and admit to them (publicly or privately).
  
• A strong woman will be able to effectively resolve conflicts resulting in highly satisfied parties.
  
• In addition, a strong woman will also bring into her decision-making, leadership abilities, and social interactions the special traits that is inherent in most females - nurture, compassion, and empathy.  
  
• A strong woman is influential because she exhibits the charisma to balance the male and female traits that makes her a pillar of strength.
  

atem wrote:

vivi2 wrote:
PS. Regardless of my opinion, if Andi is so "bad", why more than one guy fell in love with her?  Were they lying or just love in the bubble hence not real love?

Hello, Marcus fell in love with another girl in a few days after meeting her on another tv show. Chris S is possibly the next Bachelor and Cody isn't still pining for her and others have moved on too.

I am wondering if people get amnesia, because the last time I looked all the Bachelorette's have guys claiming they are in love.

Catdwoman50 wrote:Hope I'm not late to the party but I would like to add my 2 cents to this healthy discussion.

I believe that the conversation started by some of us thinking (saying it out loud) that Andi is not our ideal of a strong woman, while others think she is.  I will take Andi's age, experience, and the situation (whether her actions are highly produced or not) as factors in my observation and opinion of her.  So to be fair my opinion of Andi is based on traits and behavior I observed before, during, and after the show.  I don't know her personally so my opinion is based on how most of us probably know her - as a public figure.  I will also acknowledge that my view of Andi and that of a strong woman are influenced by my experiences in life and my beliefs.  My view and opinion is not colored by my bias towards Nick because I like Josh for Andi.  I think that Josh balances her out.  With that said, this is what I think a strong woman should be and the gravitas to hold that position and for others to be able to emulate:

• A strong woman will have a strong personality to hold on to her convictions and beliefs whether that is initially wrong or right.  
  
• A strong woman is self-aware and have the emotional intelligence to handle conflicts with the right decorum, whether emotions need to be exhibited or not.
  
• A strong woman will listen to others opinions and will be gracious in identifying her mistakes and admit to them (publicly or privately).
  
• A strong woman will be able to effectively resolve conflicts resulting in highly satisfied parties.
  
• In addition, a strong woman will also bring into her decision-making, leadership abilities, and social interactions the special traits that is inherent in most females - nurture, compassion, and empathy.  
  
• A strong woman is influential because she exhibits the charisma to balance the male and female traits that makes her a pillar of strength.
  

To be fair, I don't think I knew this at 28.  My experiences in life such as: leadership in my line of work, high-success in my career, being a mentor, being a mother, being a wife (or a partner), travels and awareness of other cultures, having gone through personal, professional, and medical strifes - have given me the insight on what it takes to be a strong woman. My examples include Mother Theresa, Margaret Thatcher, even the current image of Angelina Jolie.  That does not mean that my view of a strong woman is right, but that is what I see is right at the moment.  I believe that Andi needs a little more experience to become a strong woman in my lens, most likely it will come with age and wider experience.  Would I want my teenager to emulate her actions?  Some but not all, I will give Andi the benefit of the doubt that the compassion and empathy are present traits (I believe these are not learned) but she just wasn't able to show them on TV during conflict.  Maybe these traits to her are still signs of weakness and when she realizes that these complete her as a human being would be when she can be idealized as a strong one. Hopefully, her relationship with Josh, her experience with the bachelorette, and having a family soon will bring out - compassion, openness, and empathy - more in her public persona.