Bachelorette 10 - Andi Dorfman - Episode 10 - MTP-LCD-FRC- July 28/14 *Spoilers & Sleuthing* #2 - Discussion

[quote="ironcat"]Well, there aren't any rules on the show, since we know that at least some of the leads sleep with more than one contestant, and obviously they can't all be F1.  Nick had no guarantee that it meant the same thing to Andi as it did to him; unfortunately for him, he learned that it didn't.  Just another area where they weren't compatible/on the same wavelength IMO.  Hopefully, he realizes now that she was never his "other half" and he can move on with someone better suited to him sooner.[/quote]

ITA with the bolded part. In a different thread, someone posted to Nick, sex=love, so no wonder he was confused. I know this is probably not popular in today's culture, but I always teach my 2 boys that sex is a very intimate thing between you and your lover. If you don't love someone, don't have sex with that person. Clearly Andi didn't feel that way but Nick probably did. They are just not a good fit, IMO.

Cecilia wrote:Nick explains the comment on ATFR:
http://www.zap2it.com/blogs/nick_viall_very_sorry_bachelorette_andi_dorfman_humiliated_sex_fantasy_suite_reveal-2014-07

It's almost word for word what a lot of us have been saying about Nick's reason for saying it. Obviously he regrets it.

Cecilia wrote:Nick explains the comment on ATFR:
http://www.zap2it.com/blogs/nick_viall_very_sorry_bachelorette_andi_dorfman_humiliated_sex_fantasy_suite_reveal-2014-07

OMG - just STAAAP! Enough already - you've already dug your hole, why do you insist on digging deeper?

Exactly what everyone has been saying...empathy goes a long way!

ag54 wrote:

Cecilia wrote:Nick explains the comment on ATFR:
http://www.zap2it.com/blogs/nick_viall_very_sorry_bachelorette_andi_dorfman_humiliated_sex_fantasy_suite_reveal-2014-07

OMG - just STAAAP! Enough already - you've already dug your hole, why do you insist on digging deeper?  

...because he was asked? I think he's required to be interviewed.

BachfanNY wrote:

Beagle wrote:

ironcat wrote:Her cold treatment of Nick is not so shocking if she has spent the last 2 months getting more and more pissed off at him, which is what I suspect happened.  Whether she is at all justified in being pissed off at him I don't know, but it also explains her BFF Kelly's very biased tweets ridiculing Nick, and Andi's continued silence on them.  I really think there was a lot more going on post filming this season than in past seasons (much of it orchestrated by producers I suspect), and this definitely colored the participants' perceptions of who deserved what.  Had there been no plane video dis, no attempts to contact her, no note, no insinuation from Nick devaluing her choice of Josh, I think Andi might have been a bit more empathetic toward him.

It is interesting that for all of Andi's supposed coldness/diva-ness/bitchiness, she was, according to CH, one of the most sought after Bachelorettes as far as the men falling for her.  It seems like at least 4 really did.  What does that say about the type of woman that men are looking for?

I disagree with the bolded. Way before the plane video, and whatever attempt he made to contact her after the show, there was the morning she went to break up with him and with a smile on her face she walked in his room and  proceeded to blame their break up on their over analytical skills. There was no empathy in her demeanor at all that morning, she looked pissed that she couldn't just walk in there and tell him well Nick, Im sorry but its not you, you got to go. She just wanted to dump him and walk right out. Like I said in another thread, she showed a thousand times more compassion when she let Chris go (a guy who never even made it to the FS) than with Nick, who she had sex with a few nights before and had taken to meet her parents. To me her coldness with Nick was because she knew somewhere in her conscience she had gone too far with him and didn't want to face the fact. She wanted everything to fit right in her fairytale with Josh, so she dismissed everything that went on with Nick because it did not fit her princess aura. Basically, in her mind there was no need to explain anything to Nick once his time was up.

Frankly, I think Josh is so much more a better person than she is. I hope he realizes that someday.

And with Nick, I feel the worst is behind him, TPTB had him by the b*lls after the plane video. To me the punishment did not fit the crime.

I actually agree with the bolded. IMO, I think if Nick would have respected her decision, no plane video and kept a low profile, he would have softened her heart and there would have been a lot more empathy for him.

I know Nick made a mistake with the plane video. But he didn't do it on purpose, his private conversation was recorded without his consent and RS made it public without his consent. For a really heartbroken man who was so coldly dumped just a couple days before he was a whole lot nicer to her than he could have been. As for Josh, as they awesomely replayed at the AFTR last night, Josh said on camera before the plane video or him even being chose F1 that we shouldn't give Nick's intelligence too much credit. So on the Josh front, I think we are pretty much even.

I assume (I know a dangerous thing to do) that because of the plane video and a threat of $5 million in lawsuit that Nick was made to do a few things he might not have wanted to do. I wish he would have left Andi be, but I will also say, that had Andi shown any compassion at anytime in the process, he might have been able to let go more. He reached out, I don't know if that was his prodding or TPTB's.

Andi said in an interview two weeks ago that she was all in with TPTB and had drunk the kool-aid, so I don't feel to bad for her. I don't care that she had sex with Nick, good for her for doing it before she was engaged, but to say there was no feelings involved was a low blow.

To hold the plane video against Nick, when it wasn't something he did on purpose is petty.

I hope Josh brings out a better side to Andi and that he wasn't in on fooling us all and the other 24 guys by being involved with her before the filming. I will hope for the best. If he was involved in knowing her before hand then they both will get what they deserve. I have found Momma Murray to show compassion and be a fairly nice lady, so comparing her to Andi is an insult to Momma Murray in my opinion.

Best answer would have been to say, "I was really hurt by what transpired last night, but I regret it if I caused any hurt. I think we should all move on and hope the best for each other."

That would be the gentlemanly way to diffuse the whole thing. Rehashing it just makes you look worse and keeps the flames burning.

ag54 wrote:Best answer would have been to say, "I was really hurt by what transpired last night, but I regret it if I caused any hurt.  I think we should all move on and hope the best for each other."

That would be the gentlemanly way to diffuse the whole thing.  Rehashing it just makes you look worse and keeps the flames burning.

He's just being honest. He got burned this entire season. Now he can talk!

albean99 wrote:

Cecilia wrote:Nick explains the comment on ATFR:
http://www.zap2it.com/blogs/nick_viall_very_sorry_bachelorette_andi_dorfman_humiliated_sex_fantasy_suite_reveal-2014-07

It's almost word for word what a lot of us have been saying about Nick's reason for saying it. Obviously he regrets it.

I thought in the article he said that he didn't regret it  

I think he said it wasn't his intention to embarrass her but that he didn't regret it...I'll have to read back.

Why are we berating Nick? We were all for Clare(not me) last time when she said JP made a statement and made her feel like she was the one. Andi on the other hand made numerous statements and then did the deed, was cold at the atfr and we think is a tool for saying it out? Double standards i say. If Clare can say stuff and get praised, Nick should be accorded the same regard imho

She had the major hots for both of them and she got caught up in the moment with both of them and it's totally understandable. Probably wasn't the best decision to sleep with both guys but it more than likely happens most of the time on this show. And Nick was truly devastated and I don't blame him for his behavior last night. I think most of us in his situation would probably have done the same thing. I just love how real Nick was last night. Made it very worth watching. Josh was really authentic too which I also admire. Can't blame him for dissing Nick in his interview. Now, bring on Farmer Chris!!

BachfanNY wrote:

albean99 wrote:

Cecilia wrote:Nick explains the comment on ATFR:
http://www.zap2it.com/blogs/nick_viall_very_sorry_bachelorette_andi_dorfman_humiliated_sex_fantasy_suite_reveal-2014-07

It's almost word for word what a lot of us have been saying about Nick's reason for saying it. Obviously he regrets it.

I thought in the article he said that he didn't regret it  

I think he said it wasn't his intention to embarrass her but that he didn't regret it...I'll have to read back.

He doesn't say if he regrets it directly or not. I am quoting it below.

"I definitely wish I would have had that opportunity in private to have that conversation," says Viall. "I did not go into last night in any way expecting [the sex] to come up or ask her. And again, I think I was just so caught off guard by her demeanor and then that lack of empathy -- to me, it wasn't necessarily about the sex but the level of intimacy about that night and given the situation at the time, we both knew she couldn't say things back and I made it very clear to her where I was in my feelings for her and what something like that meant to me. ... Again, I was more surprised by what seemed to me [how she was] very cavalier about that, and I was so caught off guard and it just kind of came out."

"If I have regrets, I didn't want in any way to humiliate her or make her feel that way and I feel very sorry if she did feel that way, that makes me sad," Viall adds. "It is a conversation I wanted to have ... and unfortunately, that was my only opportunity to do that. But it's nothing in a million years I would have planned."

Viall also says he's just "trying to move forward" with his life. He's not sure he'd want to be the next "Bachelor" if asked, but he does say that "anybody would be incredibly flattered to be considered."