Bachelorette 10 - Andi Dorfman - Episode 10 - MTP-LCD-FRC- July 28/14 *Spoilers & Sleuthing* #2 - Discussion

ag54 wrote:Best answer would have been to say, "I was really hurt by what transpired last night, but I regret it if I caused any hurt.  I think we should all move on and hope the best for each other."

That would be the gentlemanly way to diffuse the whole thing.  Rehashing it just makes you look worse and keeps the flames burning.

This is why he confuses me. sigh. I want to like him, I really do because there are sweet things that are likeable about Nick. But there's a sensitivity chip missing in his brain! You have to know that certain things will turn people away vs. them being sympathetic towards you. It's no wonder why Andi seemed cold and so matter-of-fact lets-just-get-this-over-with.

ironcat wrote:Well, there aren't any rules on the show, since we know that at least some of the leads sleep with more than one contestant, and obviously they can't all be F1.  Nick had no guarantee that it meant the same thing to Andi as it did to him; unfortunately for him, he learned that it didn't.  Just another area where they weren't compatible/on the same wavelength IMO.  Hopefully, he realizes now that she was never his "other half" and he can move on with someone better suited to him sooner.

But Andi has stated more than once that she knew how deep Nicks feelings were for her; yet, she chose to sleep with him to further solidify his feelings for her. To me, that's where I draw the line. Andi knowingly seduced Nick when KNEW that Josh was her F1.

stuckinsc wrote:

BachfanNY wrote:

albean99 wrote:

It's almost word for word what a lot of us have been saying about Nick's reason for saying it. Obviously he regrets it.

I thought in the article he said that he didn't regret it  

I think he said it wasn't his intention to embarrass her but that he didn't regret it...I'll have to read back.

He doesn't say if he regrets it directly or not.  I am quoting it below.

"I definitely wish I would have had that opportunity in private to have that conversation," says Viall. "I did not go into last night in any way expecting [the sex] to come up or ask her. And again, I think I was just so caught off guard by her demeanor and then that lack of empathy -- to me, it wasn't necessarily about the sex but the level of intimacy about that night and given the situation at the time, we both knew she couldn't say things back and I made it very clear to her where I was in my feelings for her and what something like that meant to me. ... Again, I was more surprised by what seemed to me [how she was] very cavalier about that, and I was so caught off guard and it just kind of came out."

"If I have regrets, I didn't want in any way to humiliate her or make her feel that way and I feel very sorry if she did feel that way, that makes me sad," Viall adds. "It is a conversation I wanted to have ... and unfortunately, that was my only opportunity to do that. But it's nothing in a million years I would have planned."

Viall also says he's just "trying to move forward" with his life. He's not sure he'd want to be the next "Bachelor" if asked, but he does say that "anybody would be incredibly flattered to be considered."

Gotcha, thanks!

IMO, it sounds like he did what he had to do since Andi refused to speak with him before the ATFR.

Cecilia wrote:

ag54 wrote:Best answer would have been to say, "I was really hurt by what transpired last night, but I regret it if I caused any hurt.  I think we should all move on and hope the best for each other."

That would be the gentlemanly way to diffuse the whole thing.  Rehashing it just makes you look worse and keeps the flames burning.

He's just being honest.  He got burned this entire season.  Now he can talk!

Why does he get the he is just being honest approach with is hurtful remarks or answers but, when she says she didnt love him, she is accused of being cold and not having empathy for his feelings etc.  

Would her answers qualify as her just being honest as well?   

Cecilia wrote:

ag54 wrote:Best answer would have been to say, "I was really hurt by what transpired last night, but I regret it if I caused any hurt.  I think we should all move on and hope the best for each other."

That would be the gentlemanly way to diffuse the whole thing.  Rehashing it just makes you look worse and keeps the flames burning.

He's just being honest.  He got burned this entire season.  Now he can talk!

What we all need to remember is Nick does not live in some Bachelorette void, he lives in the real world with a profession, coworkers, clients, etc, along with family and friends. Regardless of the fact that there are "Nick fans" that support all the drama, there are also many in the real world who are thinking (and posting publicly) that he is "a stalker", "crazy", "unhinged", etc. The sooner he diffuses all this and gets back to the reality of his life, the better. The longer all this crap plays on, the worse for his career and his future. IMO, the rehashing of the drama keeps it alive and burning. Best to douse the flames and move on. For his own sake.

Di_ATL wrote:

Cecilia wrote:

ag54 wrote:Best answer would have been to say, "I was really hurt by what transpired last night, but I regret it if I caused any hurt.  I think we should all move on and hope the best for each other."

That would be the gentlemanly way to diffuse the whole thing.  Rehashing it just makes you look worse and keeps the flames burning.

He's just being honest.  He got burned this entire season.  Now he can talk!

Why does he get the he is just being honest approach with is hurtful remarks or answers but, when she says she didnt love him, she is accused of being cold and not having empathy for his feelings etc.  

Would her answers qualify as her just being honest as well?   

Only if she was being dishonest throughout the season.

ag54 wrote:

Cecilia wrote:

ag54 wrote:Best answer would have been to say, "I was really hurt by what transpired last night, but I regret it if I caused any hurt.  I think we should all move on and hope the best for each other."

That would be the gentlemanly way to diffuse the whole thing.  Rehashing it just makes you look worse and keeps the flames burning.

He's just being honest.  He got burned this entire season.  Now he can talk!

What we all need to remember is Nick does not live in some Bachelorette void, he lives in the real world with a profession, coworkers, clients, etc, along with family and friends. Regardless of the fact that there are "Nick fans" that support all the drama, there are also many in the real world who are thinking (and posting publicly) that he is "a stalker", "crazy", "unhinged", etc.  The sooner he diffuses all this and gets back to the reality of his life, the better.  The longer all this crap plays on, the worse for his career and his future.  IMO, the rehashing of the drama keeps it alive and burning.  Best to douse the flames and move on.  For his own sake.

I think he is romantic and falls hard and is "passionate" and "sensitive". People can interpret that as being a "stalker" if they want. I think it depends on each person's personality. This show was not a good environment for him, clearly. He needs a monogamous relationship. Like most romantic people.

I wasn't a "fan" of either Josh or Nick this season, meaning I was impartial to them. Things I liked and things I didn't like. It is Andi I really disliked. After reading Nick's explanation, that's exactly my impression of how he felt when I watched last night. When it came out of his mouth, I thought he probably immediately regretted it and never meant to say what he did. Andi stepped on stage in her deep freeze mode, expressionless, emotionless, and gave Nick nothing. She could have responded a whole lot better and maybe gotten a better reaction. She cannnot take ownership of any of her actions.

How is Andi really supposed to act though in that moment? This isn't like with Arie and Emily. Arie didn't know Emily got engaged to Jef. Nick admitted last night he knew she was engaged to Josh. He tried to see her not just once while she was vacationing in Mexico with Josh, but twice. He then proceeded to write her a letter. He did all of this knowing Andi was in a relationship with someone else and that someone else, according to Nick, is a really good guy with a big heart.

Is she going to act all sweet and kind when this guy has been trying to track her down for the past 10 weeks knowing she was engaged to someone else and that her fiance was sitting backstage and her and his families were watching? It was awful seeing Nick so upset. He was in tears for most of it and shaking. But what is she going to do? Hug him? Reassure him that she did fall in love with him? Why would she do that when she put an end to their relationship. Being tough is sometimes what is needed when your ex isn't over you. If she acted a different way towards him, don't you think that could have possibly given Nick some hope that she still cared for him in a non platonic way? Nick is still in love with her and he doesn't need that from Andi. It would have made matters worse in my opinion.

I am not in the least bit diminishing Nick's relationship with her when I say this, because it is obvious to the viewers that Andi did have feelings for Nick, but after watching the show could he not see that Andi had feelings for Josh too? Did it not click with him that maybe her feelings were even at the very least just a little bit stronger for Josh? They live in the same city. They have so many similarities right down to one parent being Jewish and the other being a Christian. I can't even imagine what it would be like to be in his shoes, but at some point you need to move on. For crying out loud, whether people think Sean meant it a certain way or not, Sean told Lindsay he loved her as he was breaking up with her. It could have meant a couple of things, but regardless, what type of closure is that?! But once she was released from the bubble she found someone else because at some point, most contestants realize that this is a produced reality television show.

I'm probably in the minority here, but I understood why Andi acted the way she did last night. I do understand how awful Nick feels. What I don't understand is how he called her out in front of millions of people, her family and Josh's family. As a woman, I would be mortified if one of my ex boyfriends ever admitted or told anyone about our intimacy or personal life. It should stay between the two of you. Nick could have asked her other questions and he didn't. He got tongue tied. Andi made a choice to have sex with Nick. Other people would have made a different choice, but that doesn't been he should embarrass the heck out of her on national television.

I think he is romantic and falls hard and is "passionate" and "sensitive".  People can interpret that as being a "stalker" if they want.  I think it depends on each person's personality.  This show was not a good environment for him, clearly.  He needs a monogamous relationship.  Like most romantic people.[/quote]

  

Cecilia wrote:

Di_ATL wrote:

Cecilia wrote:

He's just being honest.  He got burned this entire season.  Now he can talk!

Why does he get the he is just being honest approach with is hurtful remarks or answers but, when she says she didnt love him, she is accused of being cold and not having empathy for his feelings etc.  

Would her answers qualify as her just being honest as well?   

Only if she was being dishonest throughout the season.

She was being as HONEST as you can be throughout this process. They all know coming into this, the lead can not tell them certain things, which to me she never lead NICK To believe she was in love with him. She did confirm she had feelings for him as she did with Josh and i think until the end, she did give both ever ounce of what she could for this process. I mean you get a approximately 40 hrs total with the two men who are in th F2, if Nick took that to mean that she was absolutely madly in love with him, then i am sorry but he had to realize their was still another person in this race whom he never once acknowledge throughout the season. His statements of She couldnt possibly have a connection with any other guy like she does me, etc. Either he was nieve to the process or by his choice, chose to block it out. I get that Josh didnt share what he had with Andi openly to the other guys whereas on the last group date rose Nick reiterated to them, the rose she give out here means she has chosen even before the RC who she wants to take on the HTD, basically down playing the other 3 roses that would be passed out that nite. Not kewl to me. The four she chose were all equally wanted and picked to be in the F4.

Di_ATL wrote:

Cecilia wrote:

Di_ATL wrote:

Why does he get the he is just being honest approach with is hurtful remarks or answers but, when she says she didnt love him, she is accused of being cold and not having empathy for his feelings etc.  

Would her answers qualify as her just being honest as well?   

Only if she was being dishonest throughout the season.

She was being as HONEST as you can be throughout this process. They all know coming into this, the lead can not tell them certain things, which to me she never lead NICK To believe she was in love with him. She did confirm she had feelings for him as she did with Josh and i think until the end, she did give both ever ounce of what she could for this process. I mean you get a approximately 40 hrs total with the two men who are in th F2, if Nick took that to mean that she was absolutely madly in love with him, then i am sorry but he had to realize their was still another person in this race whom he never once acknowledge throughout the season. His statements of She couldnt possibly have a connection with any other guy like she does me, etc. Either he was nieve to the process or by his choice, chose to block it out. I get that Josh didnt share what he had with Andi openly to the other guys whereas on the last group date rose Nick reiterated to them, the rose she give out here means she has chosen even before the RC who she wants to take on the HTD, basically down playing the other 3 roses that would be passed out that nite. Not kewl to me. The four she chose were all equally wanted and picked to be in the F4.

           

Well either she was dishonest when she said she was in love with Josh from the moment she saw him or she was dishonest when she said she didn't know until the end (she said both BTW). The leads have to rewrite history a bit because they want their relationship to work. I get that. But if you compare the way Jillian handled Reid with the way Andi handled Nick you will see that one was handled with compassion and empathy and the other was not.