Bachelorette 10 - Andi Dorfman - Episode 10 - MTP-LCD-FRC- July 28/14 *Spoilers & Sleuthing* #2 - Discussion

richmondrose wrote:

ironcat wrote:

sbolduc wrote:One last thing I wanted to add, I have no problem with Andi or any women for that matter sleeping with multiple men, I do not think less of a women or man for that matter, that is their own perogative.

I do have an issue when you do that with someone knowing how much it means to them and you are not feeling the same about the act, but project that you are feeling the same.

So yes, Andi, you are a grown woman and you are right you can do whatever you want to do, its your body. I absolutely hate what people are calling you because you don't deserve that, you don't deserve to be called a s*ut, thats not what you are. You are just lacking some understanding and empathy if you did know what that meant to Nick, it not meaning the same, and did it anyway.

Since we weren't privy to the conversation Nick and Andi supposedly had about his views on sex and what it means to him, we have no way of knowing exactly how aware she was of how much he was misinterpreting her actions.

Believe it or not:
'It wasn't so much about the sex but the level of intimacy that night,' Nick told reporters during a conference call on Tuesday, according to E!. 'Given the situation at the time I made it very clear where I was in my feelings for her and what something like that meant to me. I was just so caught off guard that it sort of just came out.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2710216/Nick-Viall-insists-never-meant-humiliate-Bachelorette-Andi-Dorfman-revealing-TV-love.html#ixzz390j41Za4
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stuckinsc wrote:

Steel2009 wrote:One thing I will agree with Nick on,  is she took it too far!  It was a mistake and I'm sure she realizes that now.

We will never know the reason or what was going thru her head. All we can do is guess:  

-She was scared of her relationship with Josh  
-Nick's FS date was first (josh had not told her he loved her yet  Nick said ILY  FIRST during FS date),
- She was always seriously considering Nick over josh because of her over analyzing and being scared.
-TBTP encouraged her to "test" her relationship with Josh ...(got this impression from reading this article)

http://www.tvguide.com/News/Bachelorette-Harrison-Andi-Josh-1085065.aspx

I spent some time with Andi and Josh today and they're ...
Chris Harrison: All over each other!
Yes! Has it been like that since they got engaged?
Harrison: Honestly it's been like that since the middle of the show. The first time I really noticed it was Italy. From then on I remember them being inseparable and him being her No. 1.
So do you think she knew all along?
Harrison: She did a good job of keeping her mind open and going through this and that was the toughest thing. It's important and it works if you continue to let it. If you shut down and get tunnel vision, well, if that person doesn't turn out to be who you thought then the relationship is over and you've squandered a wonderful opportunity. So the toughest thing is to convince Andi you can look beyond Josh and it's OK. It doesn't mean you won't pick them, but put everything to the test. Not only does it keep your mind open to other things, but it continues to test what you have with Josh. It gives you a litmus test.  

At end of the day, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth but it sounds like Andi and Josh are happy and are trying to move on.  BamaGirl said it best:  

bamagal wrote:
Folks, we are "beating a dead horse" !  If the couple involved have moved on from this, perhaps it is time that we also refocus on the two people and their love story.  Dissecting Andi's actions, and questioning her morality only give Nick the reaction that he wanted.  I will always believe that this revelation was a calculated PR plan from the inception -- to undermine the happiness and take the spotlight off Josh and Andi.  It was not an act of love -- it was an act of revenge!

Steel, I appreciate your well thought out post.  I have been a Nick fan and a Josh fan all season, and not an Andi fan.  I don't care if she had sex with Nick, it meant more to him than her and maybe she should have considered this.  I have also stated that I think he said what he did out of hurt and wanting closure she wouldn't give him, but I wish he hadn't done it.

When I watched her letting him go what stood out to me was that Nick asked if it was Josh she didn't answer.  Maybe she did later, but if she had simply told him then, what we had was great but in the end what I have with Josh is just more, it might have made a difference.  I think she left it unclear to him and I think producers as punishment for the video (which he had no control over) led him to believe she might have changed her mind.  That left it open, so instead of just getting over it he held out hope.  I don't blame her for not wanting to meet him, but if she had given him a quick meeting with a little compassion instead of a cold approach and again just said, I did care for you, but with Josh it was more, he may have been okay.

I wish Josh and Andi stay together.  I don't appreciate Josh's unwillingness to show a little compassion to Nick's broken heart.  Both Josh and Nick said not nice things about each other, neither was innocent on that account.  Nick made a mistake.  I have seen Josh tweet a lot of inspirational and Christian theme tweets, so I would have liked some compassion from Josh as well as Andi.  He didn't have to say it was okay that Nick did it, but he doesn't have to stoop to Nick's level.  If Josh and Andi both lack compassion then they may be a perfect fit.  I wanted better for Josh, but maybe she really is the perfect woman for him.

All the Jodi fans were right all season, so enjoy your time.  I just wish that a little compassion for the one who lost and also was forced to play along with TPTB because someone else recorded his private thoughts without his permission.  Josh won the woman, why does he need to say awful things about the man who lost?

stuckinsc wrote:I just thought of something.  In describing to CH why she was so angry at JPG in the FS, Andi told us that she was disgusted because JPG told her about being intimate with Clare.  

I am sorry, but how is her outing the fact that Clare slept with JPG, an act that she, Andi, had no involvement in any better than Nick letting everyone know that he and Andi were intimate.  At least in Nick's case he was an active participant and not repeating hearsay on camera.

Mustang19 wrote:

stuckinsc wrote:I just thought of something.  In describing to CH why she was so angry at JPG in the FS, Andi told us that she was disgusted because JPG told her about being intimate with Clare.  

I am sorry, but how is her outing the fact that Clare slept with JPG, an act that she, Andi, had no involvement in any better than Nick letting everyone know that he and Andi were intimate.  At least in Nick's case he was an active participant and not repeating hearsay on camera.

Very good points. This entire controversy begins and ends with Andi. From her actions on JPG's season and her own, she has been a hypocrite. Andi learned how to become a strong woman at the expense of learning a little compassion and empathy for others. It just makes me wonder how she would handle a Judge who may have corrected her during a trial.

Andi was the one in control of her season as far as the guys are concerned. She was the one calling the shots. If she knew that someone (Nick) was in love with her, and she knew she wasn't choosing him in the end, then IMO it's wrong to sleep with him. If they both just considered it casual sex, then have at it - no biggie. She knew how Nick felt and kept his feelings going by sleeping with him. She was wrong IMO. I thought her break-up with him was lame, and left the door open. She should have said she cared for Nick, but fell in love with Josh and was choosing him. Nick maybe should have had a little more restraint on the live AFR, but I think it slipped out and was not a premeditated action to shame her. However, as Stuckinsc said above, Andi outed Claire and did the same thing. How soon she forgets.