Re: Nick Viall - Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - Thread #6

[stuckinsc]

It doesn't matter how we view what "sl**" means.

THE Effect remains.

Andi being called a sl** on National TV.

On twitter and IG when Andi and Josh post a status or a pic, there are those who call her a sl** for sleeping with Nick.

Or even posting on Nick's page supporting him and saying "you dodged a bullet, Andi is a sl** anyway!"

Kudos to us in this forum who does not think Andi is a sl**. We are classy people! *highfives everyone*

The fact remains, THE Effect = sl** Calling *slash* Shaming.

Who called her a "sl**" on national tv?

Nasty people on twitter are going to post stuff all the time. Nick is not responsible for that.  Just as Andi is not responsible for Nick being called a stalker, murderer, etc.

On Fox tv when discussing Nick's infamous question.

Again, as I was saying that was THE Effect. Whether Nick intended or not.

Just like, Nick. Whether his intentions were pure (attempting to communicate with Andi post FRC)

THE Effect was him being called a "stalker"

I am not sure if our non-American members understand that Fox News is not the same as Fox TV. I personally don't listen to Fox News, but a couple of gems that my in-laws who watch it all the time have told me and I have had to counteract are 1) President Obama started the war in Afghanistan. Since he wasn't even a senator when the USA went into Afghanistan this is so silly it is almost not worth reputing, except I can't have my relatives sounding stupid. 2) Sarah Palin in one of her many guest spots on Fox News spoke about how scientists are wasting American tax dollars by doing research of fruit flies. I am a scientist. Fruit flies are one of the most valuable model systems we have and many medical advances have come from research that was performed in fruit flies. Again, I had to tell my brother-in-law who has a masters degree in engineering how idiotic and insulting that statement was to scientists and that I was ashamed of him for being educated and not taking the effort to think for himself.

So if you consider the source, Fox News and one of their more opinionated and less factual based commentators calling Andi a sl** if not that big of a deal. It is the stupidity of that commentator and didn't the female commentator on that very network during the show he was on tell him he was wrong and make him apologize.

Remember Sarah Palin is the candidate for vice-president who believes we should only teach abstinence in our schools while her 17 year old daughter got pregnant out of wedlock and yet she is celebrated by this same channel.

[Catdwoman50]

^^ and it the meantime in gives her the excuse to sleep with the other guy because she had no feelings for Nick only developing ones for Josh.  Yes I totally understand now.

[Catdwoman50]

I assume AshLee didn't try to get in touch with Sean for 2months after hoping he'd pull a Mesnick though.

No it was understood she was third down the totem pole.  Not the same.

Lindsay sure as heck didn't get any sort of closure, especially as he was breaking up with her. No matter what people thought he meant, Sean told her he loved her. She didn't try to get in touch with him after the show.

Still not the same. First off sean didn't sleep with her. Second breakups are personal, Nick's reaction should not have to be similar to Lindsay's in order for it to be acceptable.

[stuckinsc]

As Kasha said above, no one can control what other's perceptions are going to be.  A Fox news anchor calling her a sl** can't fall on Nick's shoulders anymore than tweets blaming Andi for Eric's death can fall on her shoulders.

It's too bad that Josh didn't contact Andi when she was cut at F3 and go from there.   They could have avoided this whole mess, and still lived happily ever after.  Andi's season was not kind to her.  

If Nick didn't mention that they slept together on national television, no one would be referring to Andi with some of these awful terms. There's a cause and an effect to everything. Andi and Nick chose to have sex, but it was a private matter. Nick chose to take it public and therefore a lot of hate got thrown onto Andi because of a decision Nick made and I guess you could say Andi too, but regardless, Nick shares some of the blame to the fallout that happened because of his choices.

Well, it could also be said that if Andi had decided to wait until she knew who she wanted to be with to have sex and Sean and Charlie and Byron all did then Nick would not have been able to say anything either.

Both had a hand in this. Both made a poor choice. But the blame is completely on Nick? Andi chose to have sex then not show any compassion to the person she had sex with. Did he give her reason to be upset? Yes. Did she give him reason to feel upset and led on? Yes. Both are to blame for this. It isn't all Nick's fault and it isn't all Andi's. They both contributed to this mess.

[Ash2214]

^^ and it the meantime in gives her the excuse to sleep with the other guy because she had no feelings for Nick only developing ones for Josh.  Yes I totally understand now.

I don't think Andi ever said that and neither did I. She gave nick the perfect answer at the ATFR. She stated she had a great relationship with Nick. She cared for him. He made her feel like a woman and all of the other things she said on the show, but at the end of the day, how can you compete with a stronger love or a stronger relationship? Those were her words. She did admit she had feelings for Nick, but it's as simple as she fell in love with Josh and they had a stronger relationship. She never said she didn't have any feelings towards Nick.

[Ash2214]

As Kasha said above, no one can control what other's perceptions are going to be.  A Fox news anchor calling her a sl** can't fall on Nick's shoulders anymore than tweets blaming Andi for Eric's death can fall on her shoulders.

It's too bad that Josh didn't contact Andi when she was cut at F3 and go from there.   They could have avoided this whole mess, and still lived happily ever after.  Andi's season was not kind to her.  

If Nick didn't mention that they slept together on national television, no one would be referring to Andi with some of these awful terms. There's a cause and an effect to everything. Andi and Nick chose to have sex, but it was a private matter. Nick chose to take it public and therefore a lot of hate got thrown onto Andi because of a decision Nick made and I guess you could say Andi too, but regardless, Nick shares some of the blame to the fallout that happened because of his choices.

Well, it could also be said that if Andi had decided to wait until she knew who she wanted to be with to have sex and Sean and Charlie and Byron all did then Nick would not have been able to say anything either.

Both had a hand in this.  Both made a poor choice.  But the blame is completely on Nick?  Andi chose to have sex then not show any compassion to the person she had sex with.  Did he give her reason to be upset?  Yes. Did she give him reason to feel upset and led on?  Yes.  Both are to blame for this.  It isn't all Nick's fault and it isn't all Andi's.  They both contributed to this mess.

I do agree with this, but like I've stated continuously, it would not have gone public if Nick didn't say they had sex.

[Guest]

How could he think that when he was still having serious doubts up until the last day?  He clearly stated in his PI that he was not going to propose until he knew how she felt and that Josh was out of the picture.

So when did Andi lie? When she said, I never loved you to Nick? When she said to Josh you were always the one? Or when she said she was conflicted until FS in one of her interviews? It's just confusing to some of us who can't excuse her anymore.

What's confusing about it? She explained her words. She knew from the moment she met Josh there was something there, but she was scared and worried that it was too good to be true. She said she knew for certain it was Josh after the FS. In another interview she said looking back on the feeling she had for him the moment he stepped out of the limo was essentially like love at first sight or knowing he would be the one, but she was just too blind or scared to allow her to feel that and she didn't come to terms with those feelings until the FS. According to her and Nick too, Andi never said she loved Nick.

And there is a big difference: to love someone or being in love. Most of the people coming off this show states that the real love comes after the show ends. They feel attraction, get to know each other if they talk about important things and in the bubble it might feel like love. But they hardly see each other, and that make them insecure. The contestants spend more time with each other than with the lead. I think that it was Desiree who said it best: "You know it's the one when you don't want to say goodbye and can't imagining being away from that person".

[Lucas15]

It suits Nick to play up the sensitive man with the old fashioned values role.

And the more he does that the more I suspect that's just an act. From my vantage point, he wasn't a very sensitive man when he said (about Andi) "The only really great job she's done is kept me around" or when he called her "stubborn and passive agressive" on the airplane. Or when he said (about Josh) "I look forward to marrtying Andi on top of a mountain and, you know, going with Josh to [her] brother's footbal game and, you know, watching Aaron Murray sling some touchdowns and introducing Josh to our new dog Murray."

The last one is just too weird and smacks of an "I want to rub your nose in what I have and you don't" attitude. If Andi is someone he claims to have loved when he said those things I'd hate to see what he says about someone he doesn't like.

[Guest]

It suits Nick to play up the sensitive man with the old fashioned values role.

And the more he does that the more I suspect that's just an act. From my vantage point, he wasn't a very sensitive man when he said (about Andi) "The only really great job she's done is kept me around" or when he called her "stubborn and passive agressive" on the airplane. Or when he said (about Josh) "I look forward to marrtying Andi on top of a mountain and, you know, going with Josh to [her] brother's footbal game and, you know, watching Aaron Murray sling some touchdowns and introducing Josh to our new dog Murray."

The last one is just too weird and smacks of an "I want to rub your nose in what I have and you don't" attitude. If Andi is someone he claims to have loved when he said those things I'd hate to see what he says about someone he doesn't like.

I couldn't agree more!! (Bold)

[stuckinsc]

Can I just say how freaking amazing Andi must be in the fs for Nick to be harping on one night after 3 months and the woman being engaged to another dude for 2 of them??

Best Ette Ever. Period.

JMO

Nick's blog wasn't about Andi, it was about the issue in general. Sorry Ashley is still the best bachelorette ever. She did it, kept her career, married her man and is now having his baby. In four years if Andi is back at her career, married to Josh and having or had his baby then she can enter the discussion. BTW, Ben was still discussing Ashley at this point too.

[vivi2]

It suits Nick to play up the sensitive man with the old fashioned values role.

And the more he does that the more I suspect that's just an act. From my vantage point, he wasn't a very sensitive man when he said (about Andi) "The only really great job she's done is kept me around" or when he called her "stubborn and passive agressive" on the airplane. Or when he said (about Josh) "I look forward to marrtying Andi on top of a mountain and, you know, going with Josh to [her] brother's footbal game and, you know, watching Aaron Murray sling some touchdowns and introducing Josh to our new dog Murray."

The last one is just too weird and smacks of an "I want to rub your nose in what I have and you don't" attitude. If Andi is someone he claims to have loved when he said those things I'd hate to see what he says about someone he doesn't like.

Very well said. Sir.

[stuckinsc]

If Nick didn't mention that they slept together on national television, no one would be referring to Andi with some of these awful terms. There's a cause and an effect to everything. Andi and Nick chose to have sex, but it was a private matter. Nick chose to take it public and therefore a lot of hate got thrown onto Andi because of a decision Nick made and I guess you could say Andi too, but regardless, Nick shares some of the blame to the fallout that happened because of his choices.

Really? The minute Andi accepted $$$ to become the Bachelorette, date multiple guys on television and fool viewers (not to mention her suitors) into thinking that she was falling in love with more than one man, is the minute that her every action became very public.

Why is it okay to comment and have snarky opinions on every little thing about this show but not okay to comment and have opinions about what went on in the FD?

And, keep in mind that ANDI WENT THERE FIRST. She made it very public what happened with her and Juan Pablo during the Fantasy Suite date. She told all the world what an a$$hole and jerk he was. You can't have it both ways!

Andi and Nick had sex in a private suite. No one else was around. No cameras. No crew. They could do whatever the heck they wanted to (clearly they did). What they did was in private. Sex should be a private thing. The deed was done in private. Do you happen to know if anyone was watching them or was in the room with them? If not, the act was done in private, but at the end of the day, Nick made it public.

Don't forget Andi told everyone on national tv that JPG talked about having sex with Clare in the fantasy suite. She did to Clare what you all are hating Nick for doing to her.

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