Re: Nick Viall - Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - Thread #6

[Guest]

Eta:

Oh, Andi, Andi, Andi, did you say on Nationa TV when you confronted Juan Pablo, "Juan Pablo, when we made love in the FS, why were you talking about you, yourself..." OH, I dint know she actually said the same thing as Nick! Forgive me!  I dint know Andi also publicly told the world those exact same words!

Nick asked Andi one 15 word question that is igniting so much discussion ... "why did you make love to me if you were not in love with me?"

In his post ATFR interviews, Nick has expressed remorse that it came out the way it did. He explained why it did and that he was in no way attempting to sl*t shame. Nick has wished Andi & Josh well and had primarily very kind things to say about her and his time on the show. When asked if he "dodged a bullet," he strongly disagreed.

Andi, on the other hand, trashed Juan Pablo on the show, during the MTA and continued to trash Juan Pablo even after she became the Bachelorette. She called him a narcissist and all kinds of names. She made fun of his accent and his way of expressing himself. She made fun of him on Twitter. And even the promotional posters for her season made fun of him.

What's more Andi did all of this with little to no regard that her dear friend Nikki was dating this man and in love with him. Nikki and Juan Pablo faced some of the harshest public scrutiny post production yet Andi didn't seem to care one bit as all of her anti Juan Pablo publicity was good for HER. So excuse me if I don't shed a tear for MeAndi having to deal with a few harsh words.

Living well is the best revenge so if she and Josh are as in love as other franchise couples that faced MUCH MUCH harsher criticism (Jason & Molly and Des & Chris also come to mind), they will weather the storm just fine.

And Nick is weathering this storm just fine too ... see everyone's happy!

The problem Nick has, is that he isn't weathering this storm. He tries to keep it blowing. Why did he post what he did on Sean's blog if he is "weathering the storm"?

[Kashathediva]

My problem with Nick is that he kisses and tells and I don't care how many times he tries to justify that behaviour, he's still not a gentleman.  This "poor Nick" should've never gone on this show if he didn't know how to handle rejection, with CLASS.

He is like a vindictive freshman who slept with the senior and thought it was true love but then she gave the other boy her cheerleading varsity jacket and he tried to get her kicked out of the honor society. Give me a break. Hope women learning something from this situation, don't sleep with Nick.

If I was single I would totally sleep with Nick.   

I might sleep with him--and I'm married.   Now sex--that's a whole nother matter. We can snuggle.

Seriously, you don't want something to come back and bite you--don't present yourself as the bait.
This show excels at taking the strengths of the season before and making them the weaknesses of the next. If you don't want to be a casualty, don't be a participant.

[Relalou]

He is like a vindictive freshman who slept with the senior and thought it was true love but then she gave the other boy her cheerleading varsity jacket and he tried to get her kicked out of the honor society. Give me a break. Hope women learning something from this situation, don't sleep with Nick.

If I was single I would totally sleep with Nick.   

Me too.    

Then I hope you don't do anything to upset him afterwards because goodness only knows how he would vent his feelings - letters, stalking, telling everyone you cruelly took advantage of his gentle loving nature...

[isittrue]

If I was single I would totally sleep with Nick.   

Me too.    

Then I hope you don't do anything to upset him afterwards because goodness only knows how he would vent his feelings - letters, stalking, telling everyone you cruelly took advantage of his gentle loving nature...

I'd make sure we were on the same page first for one thing.

[dw_a_mom]

Nick had a golden opportunity in front of millions of TV viewers to show Andi and the world that he didn't behave badly. And used it how? To behave badly. And he's still at it. Are we going to be faced with 6 more months of Nick explaining to the world that what he said on national TV was all Andi's fault? I fear we may ...

IMO Nick needs professional help to get past his experiences with this show. He doesn't seem to be able to let it go and the more he tries to explain himself the worse it gets. Why on earth does he feel the need to make a guest post on Sean's blog with the headline "Why I brought up the fantasy suit"?  Is he trying to stay in the limelight or what is the matter with him???
He knew that there were three guys left, when the FD took place. He was first. If "making love" is such a big deal as he states in his blog post, why didn't he say "NO, I want to wait until you are sure it's gonna be me in the end". Instead he writes "To me, sex between us was a big deal, and she knew it. That’s why I feel Andi’s decision to have sex with me was not appropriate." I cringe when I read his blogpost and  :pullouthair:  Once again he blames Andi for what happened. Andi was in a process where she tried to figure out her different relationships.

Nick said he watched previous seasons before going on the show, so he was familiar with the format. Why did he think it would be different this time? There has always been two guys in the end and the one who isn't the chosen one has always felt blindsided, but all of them have been able to move on, everyone but Nick.
He went on a show traveling the world for two months. During that period of time he met Andi for about 30-40 hours, and fell so deeply in love that 3 months post show he can't let go. To me it seems like no one is helping the poor guy to heal.
Why didn´t anyone stop him from doing that extra filming for ATFR? He needed a therapist not an extra segment of him stalking Andi and talking bad about her choice. Sean letting Nick post on his blog is not helping him either. Every time Nick tries to justify what he said, the hole he's in, gets deeper and deeper. Of course he gets some support from people reading his post, but IMO there will be more people thinking negative thoughts about him. It's time to seek professional help instead of airing his laundry to the public. JMHO

Per the bolded: Do we know that Nick solicited Sean to put this on his blog--was Yawn tied up in a closet somewhere and forced to stay there until Nick was allowed to voice himself?
This is doubtfully the case.
I got the distinct impression that Nick was asked by Sean/Yawn--or even invited to share his thoughts.
I know this is very objectionable to some. To me it is a meaningful discussion and one I have been enjoying. After years of boredom and waiting for the next jump from this franchise, I am delighted to see something intelligent and sensitive being discussed.  
I hope the parties involved learned something.

I think Sean offered, too. I've assumed that despite not being happy about the public revelation, Sean would have been interested in having a man share why sex is special to him and why sex actually means something. That concept is, after all, not that many steps removed from the concept of wanting to wait for marriage.

[Sprite]

It sickens me too and because of what Nick did, what happened? A fox anchor called her a sl*t on national television. Then you can add the whole social media thing too. I would call that "sl*t shaming."

Nick is responsible for Nick. He is not responsible for anyone else. Not imho. We live in a country where free speech is a right. I think it's a worthy topic of discussion, but like anything else it can be handled in a respectful manner. If others choose not to be respectful or put their own spin on it--that does not fall back on Nick, IMO.

Nick chose to call her out on national television. Andi and Nick chose to have sex in private, Nick took it public. While he has the right to do what he wants, everything that Andi disgustingly got once Nick dropped the bomb, was in correlation to what Nick did. Simple as that in my opinion. He's not stupid. He knew there would be side effects because of his words.

Sorry, but anything that goes on in this show is not private. Once you are on the show, you, your whole life and everything you say and do on said show is in the public domain. While they don't film you having sex, it certainly is implied so I would hardly consider it private. If they stayed home and never came on the show, then it would be private. There is a reason they sign that massive contract that basically spells out what producers can do to you and your image....manipulate it any way they want...for the public to enjoy and comment upon.

Also, people seem to be leaving out the part that producers played in all of this. They know how to push everyone's buttons for maximum dramatic effect. The blame seems to sit on Nick's or Andi's shoulders...depending on which camp you belong to...but, hardly anyone alludes to the fact that producers know how to manipulate both to get the best results for them and continuing press about their show. Similarly, while people keep saying that by Nick continuing to discuss this in interviews and now Sean's blog, he is deliberately stirring up negative opinion about Andi in SM, they conveniently forget that it works both ways. Just as there are people commenting negatively about her, there are others commenting negatively about him. Some agree with him. Some agree with her. While based on my own personal experiences I may side more with one than the other, I think both believe what they are saying and both have a right to their opinion...and a right to express that opinion. Whether we listen or not, is up to us individually.

[Alanna]

Me too.    

Then I hope you don't do anything to upset him afterwards because goodness only knows how he would vent his feelings - letters, stalking, telling everyone you cruelly took advantage of his gentle loving nature...

I'd make sure we were on the same page first for one thing.

But why is it Andi's responsibility? He could have said let's wait until we're engaged. Boom. Crisis and years of therapy bills for him avoided in a flash.

[Cecilia]

Eta:

Oh, Andi, Andi, Andi, did you say on Nationa TV when you confronted Juan Pablo, "Juan Pablo, when we made love in the FS, why were you talking about you, yourself..." OH, I dint know she actually said the same thing as Nick! Forgive me!  I dint know Andi also publicly told the world those exact same words!

Nick asked Andi one 15 word question that is igniting so much discussion ... "why did you make love to me if you were not in love with me?"

In his post ATFR interviews, Nick has expressed remorse that it came out the way it did. He explained why it did and that he was in no way attempting to sl*t shame. Nick has wished Andi & Josh well and had primarily very kind things to say about her and his time on the show. When asked if he "dodged a bullet," he strongly disagreed.

Andi, on the other hand, trashed Juan Pablo on the show, during the MTA and continued to trash Juan Pablo even after she became the Bachelorette. She called him a narcissist and all kinds of names. She made fun of his accent and his way of expressing himself. She made fun of him on Twitter. And even the promotional posters for her season made fun of him.

What's more Andi did all of this with little to no regard that her dear friend Nikki was dating this man and in love with him. Nikki and Juan Pablo faced some of the harshest public scrutiny post production yet Andi didn't seem to care one bit as all of her anti Juan Pablo publicity was good for HER. So excuse me if I don't shed a tear for MeAndi having to deal with a few harsh words.

Living well is the best revenge so if she and Josh are as in love as other franchise couples that faced MUCH MUCH harsher criticism (Jason & Molly and Des & Chris also come to mind), they will weather the storm just fine.

And Nick is weathering this storm just fine too ... see everyone's happy!

The problem Nick has, is that he isn't weathering this storm. He tries to keep it blowing. Why did he post what he did on Sean's blog if he is "weathering the storm"?

Why? Sean offered. Sean is BELOVED. You don't pass it up. If you look at Sean's instagram, most of the comments are from Sean fans who have now "changed their minds."

[Guest]

Nick had a golden opportunity in front of millions of TV viewers to show Andi and the world that he didn't behave badly. And used it how? To behave badly. And he's still at it. Are we going to be faced with 6 more months of Nick explaining to the world that what he said on national TV was all Andi's fault? I fear we may ...

IMO Nick needs professional help to get past his experiences with this show. He doesn't seem to be able to let it go and the more he tries to explain himself the worse it gets. Why on earth does he feel the need to make a guest post on Sean's blog with the headline "Why I brought up the fantasy suit"?  Is he trying to stay in the limelight or what is the matter with him???
He knew that there were three guys left, when the FD took place. He was first. If "making love" is such a big deal as he states in his blog post, why didn't he say "NO, I want to wait until you are sure it's gonna be me in the end". Instead he writes "To me, sex between us was a big deal, and she knew it. That’s why I feel Andi’s decision to have sex with me was not appropriate." I cringe when I read his blogpost and  :pullouthair:  Once again he blames Andi for what happened. Andi was in a process where she tried to figure out her different relationships.

Nick said he watched previous seasons before going on the show, so he was familiar with the format. Why did he think it would be different this time? There has always been two guys in the end and the one who isn't the chosen one has always felt blindsided, but all of them have been able to move on, everyone but Nick.
He went on a show traveling the world for two months. During that period of time he met Andi for about 30-40 hours, and fell so deeply in love that 3 months post show he can't let go. To me it seems like no one is helping the poor guy to heal.
Why didn´t anyone stop him from doing that extra filming for ATFR? He needed a therapist not an extra segment of him stalking Andi and talking bad about her choice. Sean letting Nick post on his blog is not helping him either. Every time Nick tries to justify what he said, the hole he's in, gets deeper and deeper. Of course he gets some support from people reading his post, but IMO there will be more people thinking negative thoughts about him. It's time to seek professional help instead of airing his laundry to the public. JMHO

Per the bolded: Do we know that Nick solicited Sean to put this on his blog--was Yawn tied up in a closet somewhere and forced to stay there until Nick was allowed to voice himself?
This is doubtfully the case.
I got the distinct impression that Nick was asked by Sean/Yawn--or even invited to share his thoughts.
I know this is very objectionable to some. To me it is a meaningful discussion and one I have been enjoying. After years of boredom and waiting for the next jump from this franchise, I am delighted to see something intelligent and sensitive being discussed.  
I hope the parties involved learned something.

Of course Nick was asked to make a guest post on Sean's blog, but IMO that is not what Nick needs at this point. I think it's great that a man talks about his perspective of "making love" and how important that is to him. BUT to me it's such a bad timing because his post is all about putting more logs on the fire.

[MVMom39forever]

The problem Nick has, is that he isn't weathering this storm. He tries to keep it blowing. Why did he post what he did on Sean's blog if he is "weathering the storm"?

Gosh, I don't think Nick has any problem. Here are my guesses why he posted it:

1) Sean invited him and clearly it's good for Sean as he's generating lots of traffic to his site. Cha Ching on banner ads.

2) Nick had the opportunity to share his POV or his words, "I’m speaking out about this incident because I hope Bachelor Nation will have a more honest conversation about the Fantasy Suites and the emotional repercussions of sex."

3) He has proved he's moved on by a) defending Andi "don't shame Andi to support me" and b) wish she & Josh well "I want to emphasize that I wish Andi and Josh all the best. I hope they have incredible happiness in their life together for years and decades to come."

4) He gets to be in freaking TIME magazine with a very well written, very eloquent piece on a charged topic!

And, as the mother of a sensitive teenage son (not to mention a beautiful teenage daughter), I am glad he did!

[MVMom39forever]

Me too.    

Then I hope you don't do anything to upset him afterwards because goodness only knows how he would vent his feelings - letters, stalking, telling everyone you cruelly took advantage of his gentle loving nature...

I'd make sure we were on the same page first for one thing.

  :bigsmile:  

[ironcat]

I have to agree that if making love was something so sacred to Nick, and understanding the format of the show, he should have just refused Andi's offer. Wonder why he didn't.:-)

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