Re: Nick Viall - Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - Thread #6

[Guest]

Again, this didn't happen in the real world but on a TV show where the lead is not allowed to share her true feelings with her suitors, so completely honest communication just doesn't happen, if Andi is following the rules of her contract.

I agree that caused a problem, but it's also why the decision to have sex was completely on her. She knew she didn't return his feelings, he could only make assumptions based on what she did tell him and her actions. I think his conclusions were pretty reasonable, especially if you're not us and know that some 'ettes do say ily in the FS.

Gracey, interviews of Andi done before MTA, before finale. She's been consistent that her choice was after. Josh's FS , As we repeatedly had this discussion already. Many many many times. I now realize, we will go on circles because you do not believe her. But I completely understand  

She said she never loved him.

[vivi2]

My problem with Nick is that he kisses and tells and I don't care how many times he tries to justify that behaviour, he's still not a gentleman. This "poor Nick" should've never gone on this show if he didn't know how to handle rejection, with CLASS.

[Sprite]

He's still talking about it?   

Why not?  People spent days here talking about it and then more days talking about the person he was following on twitter.  Guess he is no different than us except this obviously still affects him personally as opposed to us.  

We don't know why he posted the blog now - maybe Sean encouraged him or he asked Sean to post it earlier and Sean ran Arie's article first.  Who knows?  It is still a big story in national media at any rate.

I think it's a very valid topic--not because it's Nick or MeandI. Just because it is.
Sean--I give you kudos. (and I never come close to saying that!) It's something people of either sex should think about. It has nothing to do with shame. It has to do with communication on what I consider the deepest level. But see that's the thing--maybe to someone else or under other circumstances it has no more of a deep level than--a fist bump? Who knows. But it does generate a lot of thought and I think that is one of the reasons it was posted on Yawn's--errr Sean's blog. Kudos Sean.

Sorry, catching up on the threads and late to the discussion. Very valid topic and one that I wish more people would have a serious think about. It just reminded me of several years ago when I was listening to a friend of mine venting about her relationship with this man she had been seeing for about six months. She was complaining about not knowing what was going on and where she stood and I asked her "Why don't you ask him?" She in all seriousness told me she didn't know him well enough. She was comfortable sleeping with him, but not comfortable having a serious discussion with him.   

[bleuberry]

My problem with Nick is that he kisses and tells and I don't care how many times he tries to justify that behaviour, he's still not a gentleman.  This "poor Nick" should've never gone on this show if he didn't know how to handle rejection, with CLASS.

This is the bottom line for me as someone who has no problem disagreeing with how Andi has handled things too. The fact that he even tries to justify it is gross to me. Just.stop.talking.

[Guest]

This has been discussed to death, but by the time Andi walked on stage to speak to Nick on ATFR, I suspect all her compassion for him had evaporated due to what she perceived as his bad behavior.  Really a"perfect storm" scenario no doubt helped along by producers.

Nick had a golden opportunity in front of millions of TV viewers to show Andi and the world that he didn't behave badly. And used it how? To behave badly. And he's still at it. Are we going to be faced with 6 more months of Nick explaining to the world that what he said on national TV was all Andi's fault? I fear we may ...

IMO Nick needs professional help to get past his experiences with this show. He doesn't seem to be able to let it go and the more he tries to explain himself the worse it gets. Why on earth does he feel the need to make a guest post on Sean's blog with the headline "Why I brought up the fantasy suit"?  Is he trying to stay in the limelight or what is the matter with him???
He knew that there were three guys left, when the FD took place. He was first. If "making love" is such a big deal as he states in his blog post, why didn't he say "NO, I want to wait until you are sure it's gonna be me in the end". Instead he writes "To me, sex between us was a big deal, and she knew it. That’s why I feel Andi’s decision to have sex with me was not appropriate." I cringe when I read his blogpost and  :pullouthair:  Once again he blames Andi for what happened. Andi was in a process where she tried to figure out her different relationships.

Nick said he watched previous seasons before going on the show, so he was familiar with the format. Why did he think it would be different this time? There has always been two guys in the end and the one who isn't the chosen one has always felt blindsided, but all of them have been able to move on, everyone but Nick.
He went on a show traveling the world for two months. During that period of time he met Andi for about 30-40 hours, and fell so deeply in love that 3 months post show he can't let go. To me it seems like no one is helping the poor guy to heal.
Why didn´t anyone stop him from doing that extra filming for ATFR? He needed a therapist not an extra segment of him stalking Andi and talking bad about her choice. Sean letting Nick post on his blog is not helping him either. Every time Nick tries to justify what he said, the hole he's in, gets deeper and deeper. Of course he gets some support from people reading his post, but IMO there will be more people thinking negative thoughts about him. It's time to seek professional help instead of airing his laundry to the public. JMHO

[Alanna]

My problem with Nick is that he kisses and tells and I don't care how many times he tries to justify that behaviour, he's still not a gentleman.  This "poor Nick" should've never gone on this show if he didn't know how to handle rejection, with CLASS.

He is like a vindictive freshman who slept with the senior and thought it was true love but then she gave the other boy her cheerleading varsity jacket and he tried to get her kicked out of the honor society. Give me a break. Hope women learning something from this situation, don't sleep with Nick.

[GuardianAngel]

I just caught up on 7 pages in this thread. I want to applaud everyone for some great conversation back and forth on this delicate subject.

Thank you to those who kept their temper in check, or tried to, without crossing the line as well to those who tried to interject some comedy.

We all know we have many visitors, some we may think we know who they are, some we don't. I like to think they can walk away from here recommending what a great place this is to discuss topics.

[MVMom39forever]

Eta:

Oh, Andi, Andi, Andi, did you say on Nationa TV when you confronted Juan Pablo, "Juan Pablo, when we made love in the FS, why were you talking about you, yourself..." OH, I dint know she actually said the same thing as Nick! Forgive me!  I dint know Andi also publicly told the world those exact same words!

Nick asked Andi one 15 word question that is igniting so much discussion ... "why did you make love to me if you were not in love with me?"

In his post ATFR interviews, Nick has expressed remorse that it came out the way it did. He explained why it did and that he was in no way attempting to sl*t shame. Nick has wished Andi & Josh well and had primarily very kind things to say about her and his time on the show. When asked if he "dodged a bullet," he strongly disagreed.

Andi, on the other hand, trashed Juan Pablo on the show, during the MTA and continued to trash Juan Pablo even after she became the Bachelorette. She called him a narcissist and all kinds of names. She made fun of his accent and his way of expressing himself. She made fun of him on Twitter. And even the promotional posters for her season made fun of him.

What's more Andi did all of this with little to no regard that her dear friend Nikki was dating this man and in love with him. Nikki and Juan Pablo faced some of the harshest public scrutiny post production yet Andi didn't seem to care one bit as all of her anti Juan Pablo publicity was good for HER. So excuse me if I don't shed a tear for MeAndi having to deal with a few harsh words.

Living well is the best revenge so if she and Josh are as in love as other franchise couples that faced MUCH MUCH harsher criticism (Jason & Molly and Des & Chris also come to mind), they will weather the storm just fine.

And Nick is weathering this storm just fine too ... see everyone's happy!

[Cecilia]

My problem with Nick is that he kisses and tells and I don't care how many times he tries to justify that behaviour, he's still not a gentleman.  This "poor Nick" should've never gone on this show if he didn't know how to handle rejection, with CLASS.

He is like a vindictive freshman who slept with the senior and thought it was true love but then she gave the other boy her cheerleading varsity jacket and he tried to get her kicked out of the honor society. Give me a break. Hope women learning something from this situation, don't sleep with Nick.

If I was single I would totally sleep with Nick.   

[isittrue]

My problem with Nick is that he kisses and tells and I don't care how many times he tries to justify that behaviour, he's still not a gentleman.  This "poor Nick" should've never gone on this show if he didn't know how to handle rejection, with CLASS.

He is like a vindictive freshman who slept with the senior and thought it was true love but then she gave the other boy her cheerleading varsity jacket and he tried to get her kicked out of the honor society. Give me a break. Hope women learning something from this situation, don't sleep with Nick.

If I was single I would totally sleep with Nick.   

Me too.   

[GuardianAngel]

My problem with Nick is that he kisses and tells and I don't care how many times he tries to justify that behaviour, he's still not a gentleman.  This "poor Nick" should've never gone on this show if he didn't know how to handle rejection, with CLASS.

He is like a vindictive freshman who slept with the senior and thought it was true love but then she gave the other boy her cheerleading varsity jacket and he tried to get her kicked out of the honor society. Give me a break. Hope women learning something from this situation, don't sleep with Nick.

If I was single I would totally sleep with Nick.   

I'm not attached, and I don't ever want to sleep with a guy like Andi.

[Kashathediva]

This has been discussed to death, but by the time Andi walked on stage to speak to Nick on ATFR, I suspect all her compassion for him had evaporated due to what she perceived as his bad behavior.  Really a"perfect storm" scenario no doubt helped along by producers.

Nick had a golden opportunity in front of millions of TV viewers to show Andi and the world that he didn't behave badly. And used it how? To behave badly. And he's still at it. Are we going to be faced with 6 more months of Nick explaining to the world that what he said on national TV was all Andi's fault? I fear we may ...

IMO Nick needs professional help to get past his experiences with this show. He doesn't seem to be able to let it go and the more he tries to explain himself the worse it gets. Why on earth does he feel the need to make a guest post on Sean's blog with the headline "Why I brought up the fantasy suit"?  Is he trying to stay in the limelight or what is the matter with him???
He knew that there were three guys left, when the FD took place. He was first. If "making love" is such a big deal as he states in his blog post, why didn't he say "NO, I want to wait until you are sure it's gonna be me in the end". Instead he writes "To me, sex between us was a big deal, and she knew it. That’s why I feel Andi’s decision to have sex with me was not appropriate." I cringe when I read his blogpost and  :pullouthair:  Once again he blames Andi for what happened. Andi was in a process where she tried to figure out her different relationships.

Nick said he watched previous seasons before going on the show, so he was familiar with the format. Why did he think it would be different this time? There has always been two guys in the end and the one who isn't the chosen one has always felt blindsided, but all of them have been able to move on, everyone but Nick.
He went on a show traveling the world for two months. During that period of time he met Andi for about 30-40 hours, and fell so deeply in love that 3 months post show he can't let go. To me it seems like no one is helping the poor guy to heal.
Why didn´t anyone stop him from doing that extra filming for ATFR? He needed a therapist not an extra segment of him stalking Andi and talking bad about her choice. Sean letting Nick post on his blog is not helping him either. Every time Nick tries to justify what he said, the hole he's in, gets deeper and deeper. Of course he gets some support from people reading his post, but IMO there will be more people thinking negative thoughts about him. It's time to seek professional help instead of airing his laundry to the public. JMHO

Per the bolded: Do we know that Nick solicited Sean to put this on his blog--was Yawn tied up in a closet somewhere and forced to stay there until Nick was allowed to voice himself?
This is doubtfully the case.
I got the distinct impression that Nick was asked by Sean/Yawn--or even invited to share his thoughts.
I know this is very objectionable to some. To me it is a meaningful discussion and one I have been enjoying. After years of boredom and waiting for the next jump from this franchise, I am delighted to see something intelligent and sensitive being discussed.
I hope the parties involved learned something.

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