Re: Nick Viall - Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - Thread #6

[Cecilia]

It doesn't matter how we view what "slut" means.

THE Effect remains.

Andi being called a slut on National TV.

On twitter and IG when Andi and Josh post a status or a pic, there are those who call her a slut for sleeping with Nick.

Or even posting on Nick's page supporting him and saying "you dodged a bullet, Andi is a slut anyway!"

Kudos to us in this forum who does not think Andi is a slut. We are classy people! *highfives everyone*

The fact remains, THE Effect = SLUT Calling *slash* Shaming.

Who called her a "slut" on national tv?

Nasty people on twitter are going to post stuff all the time. Nick is not responsible for that.  Just as Andi is not responsible for Nick being called a stalker, murderer, etc.

A Fox news anchor.

Yeah. That's Fox news people. I'm sorry but I don't see how in this modern day and age when a guy who seems to have modern views on dating and women and sexuality can be responsible for what someone on a right-wing news channel says. He probably thought negatively about her just for being on the show. If stuff like this isn't discussed then nothing changes or moves forward. JMO.

[Acrunch]

This has been discussed to death, but by the time Andi walked on stage to speak to Nick on ATFR, I suspect all her compassion for him had evaporated due to what she perceived as his bad behavior.  Really a"perfect storm" scenario no doubt helped along by producers.

Yes, thank you!  There was a series of things that Nick said and did post show that I feel very, very possibly could have added to her demeanor.   Even his video package at the ATFR had him once again saying that her fiancé was not right for her and basically accusing her of taking the easy road.

[Catdwoman50]

Who called her a "slut" on national tv?

Nasty people on twitter are going to post stuff all the time. Nick is not responsible for that.  Just as Andi is not responsible for Nick being called a stalker, murderer, etc.

A Fox news anchor.

Yeah.  That's Fox news people.  I'm sorry but I don't see how in this modern day and age when a guy who seems to have modern views on dating and women and sexuality can be responsible for what someone on a right-wing news channel says.  He probably thought negatively about her just for being on the show.  If stuff like this isn't discussed then nothing changes or moves forward. JMO.

Loving your posts!

[Guest]

^^I think there is a great debate in the media, here, etc. about whether it is slut shaming.  IMO it's not, but I'm a pretty hardcore feminist.

The fact that Nick questions "why sleep with me" and his fans are angry at Andi for "sleeping" with him when "she has already picked Josh" insinuate/question Andi's integrity. Come on, let's not talk semantics here. It's basically calling her a slut

and yet the questioning is not slut shaming?  Hmmm...

Gosh, I beg to differ. I spend time on the Nick fan thread. I don't agree with all of his words and actions, but I admire that he's a guy who makes mistakes, admits to them and tries to learn from them. Andi helped us see that he was smart, witty, sexy, sweet and sensitive. By following him on SM, I see that he's got a great family, loads of friends, is a community volunteer and wears his Henley's well. So yeah, call me a fan.

I am also a card carrying member of the Dan Savage podcast, Savage Lovecast, and while Dan is 100% ANTI SLUT SHAMING, he stresses the need for COMMUNICATION in any relationship with two sexually consenting adults. Whatever happened in the FD was a miscommunication between two parties that left Nick broken hearted & confused and left Andi seemingly annoyed that Nick wasn't understanding that he was just a quick layover on HER journey to Josh.  

If the guy who whispered to her "I love you so much. You're so beautiful." before she pulled him into her suite was just a drunken one night stand, it would have been a good idea for her to COMMUNICATE that to him at some point in the night or following morning.      

  excellent post! 

[Bet2Win]

As Kasha said above, no one can control what other's perceptions are going to be. A Fox news anchor calling her a slut can't fall on Nick's shoulders anymore than tweets blaming Andi for Eric's death can fall on her shoulders.

It's too bad that Josh didn't contact Andi when she was cut at F3 and go from there. They could have avoided this whole mess, and still lived happily ever after. Andi's season was not kind to her.

[Cari]

This has been discussed to death, but by the time Andi walked on stage to speak to Nick on ATFR, I suspect all her compassion for him had evaporated due to what she perceived as his bad behavior.  Really a"perfect storm" scenario no doubt helped along by producers.

Yes, thank you!  There was a series of things that Nick said and did post show that I feel very, very possibly could have added to her demeanor.   Even his video package at the MTA had him once again saying that her fiancé was not right for her and basically accusing her of taking the easy road.  

We've already discussed that     Others are saying "the devil made me do it"   

Yes, Andi should have been at least a little compassion-Nick   and it would have made a big difference to Nick. But I highly doubt the "devil" in turn did not " whisper" stuff to Andi about Nick hence her Icy behavior.  

I believed Nick's reason why he "slipped up". Andi should have been more forgiving. But the blog?

I betcha, if Andi reacts to this blog, I'm so certain we will never hear the end of it from Nick supporters!  :P

[Ash2214]

Who called her a "slut" on national tv?

Nasty people on twitter are going to post stuff all the time. Nick is not responsible for that.  Just as Andi is not responsible for Nick being called a stalker, murderer, etc.

A Fox news anchor.

Yeah.  That's Fox news people.  I'm sorry but I don't see how in this modern day and age when a guy who seems to have modern views on dating and women and sexuality can be responsible for what someone on a right-wing news channel says.  He probably thought negatively about her just for being on the show.  If stuff like this isn't discussed then nothing changes or moves forward. JMO.

Well, clearly it's not really moving forward because people are still labeling Andi with derogatory and nasty terms because of sleeping with two men and then getting engaged to one of them.

The whole point is that none of this would have happened if Nick kept a private issue, private. Andi being called horrendous things is directly because of Nick saying what he did. Yes, they chose to have sex, but it was a private manner until he took it to millions of people. I've said it again and again, but both Nick and Andi could have handled things differently, but that's how things shook out and Nick made the matter worse IMO.

[Cecilia]

A Fox news anchor.

Yeah.  That's Fox news people.  I'm sorry but I don't see how in this modern day and age when a guy who seems to have modern views on dating and women and sexuality can be responsible for what someone on a right-wing news channel says.  He probably thought negatively about her just for being on the show.  If stuff like this isn't discussed then nothing changes or moves forward. JMO.

Well, clearly it's not really moving forward because people are still labeling Andi with derogatory and nasty terms because of sleeping with two men and then getting engaged to one of them.

The whole point is that none of this would have happened if Nick kept a private issue, private. Andi being called horrendous things is directly because of Nick saying what he did. Yes, they chose to have sex, but it was a private manner until he took it to millions of people. I've said it again and again, but both Nick and Andi could have handled things differently, but that's how things shook out and Nick made the matter worse IMO.  

I think way more people see no problem with what Andi did. And I am talking about all the pieces written by actual journalists and legitimate media sources. These are the opinions that matter. Not weird those who are not fans on twitter.

[Kashathediva]

It doesn't matter how we view what "slut" means.

THE Effect remains.

Andi being called a slut on National TV.

On twitter and IG when Andi and Josh post a status or a pic, there are those who call her a slut for sleeping with Nick.

Or even posting on Nick's page supporting him and saying "you dodged a bullet, Andi is a slut anyway!"

Kudos to us in this forum who does not think Andi is a slut. We are classy people! *highfives everyone*

The fact remains, THE Effect = SLUT Calling *slash* Shaming.

Who called her a "slut" on national tv?

Nasty people on twitter are going to post stuff all the time. Nick is not responsible for that.  Just as Andi is not responsible for Nick being called a stalker, murderer, etc.

On Fox tv when discussing Nick's infamous question.

Again, as I was saying that was THE Effect. Whether Nick intended or not.

Just like, Nick. Whether his intentions were pure (attempting to communicate with Andi post FRC)

THE Effect was him being called a "stalker"

Right. There are effects to just about everything in life. I don't know how responsible each one of us chooses or chooses not to be responsible, I guess that is a personal moral decision--kind of like: "am I my brother's keeper?"
For me, I choose to be responsible for my own behavior and not hold others accountable. I make mistakes. I have in the past and probably will in the future. It's not something I go out of my way asking for or choosing, but no matter how educated I am or how much forethought goes into what I do, I think the human factor is something I'm not going to change and will have to deal with as it happens.

[Ash2214]

As Kasha said above, no one can control what other's perceptions are going to be.  A Fox news anchor calling her a slut can't fall on Nick's shoulders anymore than tweets blaming Andi for Eric's death can fall on her shoulders.

It's too bad that Josh didn't contact Andi when she was cut at F3 and go from there.   They could have avoided this whole mess, and still lived happily ever after.  Andi's season was not kind to her.  

If Nick didn't mention that they slept together on national television, no one would be referring to Andi with some of these awful terms. There's a cause and an effect to everything. Andi and Nick chose to have sex, but it was a private matter. Nick chose to take it public and therefore a lot of hate got thrown onto Andi because of a decision Nick made and I guess you could say Andi too, but regardless, Nick shares some of the blame to the fallout that happened because of his choices.

[Lucas15]

This has been discussed to death, but by the time Andi walked on stage to speak to Nick on ATFR, I suspect all her compassion for him had evaporated due to what she perceived as his bad behavior.  Really a"perfect storm" scenario no doubt helped along by producers.

Nick had a golden opportunity in front of millions of TV viewers to show Andi and the world that he didn't behave badly. And used it how? To behave badly. And he's still at it. Are we going to be faced with 6 more months of Nick explaining to the world that what he said on national TV was all Andi's fault? I fear we may ...

[Cecilia]

^^ "Let me say this: don’t shame Andi to support me. We all make mistakes, I’ve made mistakes."

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