Re: Nick Viall - Bachelorette 10 - Discussion - Thread #6

[MVMom39forever]

I'm not angry that she slept with him.    I don't think Andi is a slut at all.  I just see his point.

Agreed with the last statement.  I don't consider this whole incident to make Andi this word being used that I hate.  But I do consider her sleeping with Nick while she needed 2 guys there for personal enjoyment and then turning ice cold on him as soon as she didn't need him there any more to be callous, unkind, uncaring, self-centred etc.  There are many words for me for Andi and the way she handled this but all have to do with her lack of concern for another's feelings, another who she was close enough with to want to have sex with.  That's the issue for me.  She took her relationship with Nick to a more intimate level than him being a second place guy she made out with in front of cameras.  She, in private, took it to another level where anyone in those shoes would assume this was a real relationship that went beyond the show, IMO.  To so quickly turn off on him and dismiss him so unfeelingly after being intimate speaks a lot of her character and ability to truly care about others besides herself.

Not trying to be harsh, but I just think she acted like a cold, uncaring person to him when she didn't need him anymore.  She did the exact same to JP.  So I assume it's a pattern - you're useful to Andi, you're good with her, when you're not, watch out.  I actually think Nick was right to call her out on that - maybe without turning the focus onto sex itself.

YES! I agree with your every word. She's got some issues. And what I find to be really interesting is that Andi was so cold & bitchy towards Juan Pablo, Eric and Nick ... yet ... managed to tear up with Cody, Marcus and Chris.

Go figure. She's a mystery alright.

[Catdwoman50]

Hey Cari, just want to ask what you would think if Nick was the lead and Andi asked the same question?  Would you be as upset for Andi doing so or feeling as if she is misled especially since she believes, that she told him the act was important to her?  

Yes, girlfriend! I would be furious with Andi or anybody even if it's my Beloved Arie (accidentally or not) had a slip up. That is slut-shaming whether it was deliberate or not. That was THE Effect.

Kudos to those who dint feel it was SlutShaming. I just placed my shoes on Andi and  Andi is a stranger and yet I got concerned for her for what her father would think, her ultra-feminist cousin would think and ultimately what Josh would think. That was THE Effect.

OK I see that you're coming from a cultural point of view, about being ashamed of what other people might think or say.  I respect that.  Whereas, I am "conversating[BIP]" (hehe, still find that funny) about the double standard, I believe that a woman will be the only one to feel slut-shamed because if the roles were reversed, I believe it would be "adda-boy" pats on the back all around for the male lead for scoring 2x on the bachelor, don't you think?

[bleuberry]

I don't think it's a mystery. She argued/fought with JP and Eric. Nick annoyed her post show. Cody, Marcus, and Chris, in her mind, did nothing 'wrong.'

[MVMom39forever]

I really don't understand how Nick questioning Andi's choice to sleep with him can be considered slut shaming.  

Andi was upset with JPab for not getting to know her better in the FS.  It was probably JPab's way to let her know she wasn't the final one.  

Nick felt that Andi went too far in leading him on, knowing he was in love with her.  Add to that, the conversation Andi had with his family how hard he took his prior break-up.  

Instead of owning it at the ATFR, she deflected by telling him he hit below the belt.  People say that Andi is taking the high road.  The high road, imo, would have been to say she's sorry she hurt him.  

Exactly! If taking the "high road" means calling Ali AFTER she interviews Nick and expresses sympathy for his situation to refute that Nick ever tried to contact her (umm, but that's what Chris Harrison said) and that Nick actually hooked up with other girls during the season (ummm, 1) how would you know? and 2) now who's doing slut shaming?), well, I'd hate to see what the low road is for Andi.

Actually. Wait. I've already witnessed her low road. And it sure ain't pretty.

[philphan]

Again, this didn't happen in the real world but on a TV show where the lead is not allowed to share her true feelings with her suitors, so completely honest communication just doesn't happen, if Andi is following the rules of her contract.

You're right.....completely honest communication can't happen on this show or it would possibly be a one week show with one contestant. The question is....could Andi have communicated BETTER and not taken things so far? I believe so.

[ironcat]

This has been discussed to death, but by the time Andi walked on stage to speak to Nick on ATFR, I suspect all her compassion for him had evaporated due to what she perceived as his bad behavior. Really a"perfect storm" scenario no doubt helped along by producers.

[Cari]

Am I wrong to assume that Nick was "assuming" or presumptuous?

So when Nick said after Andi gave him the HTD rose that is Andi's way of telling me SHE LOVES ME. That is not assumption on Nick's part? Shouldn't it would have been at least "she has strong feelings for me".

So Andi saying it is an important rose means "I.LOVE.YOU!"?!   

Forgive me then for assuming that Nick was "assuming". I guess there was a subtext somewhere I did not see.

[Cecilia]

It doesn't matter how we view what "slut" means.

THE Effect remains.

Andi being called a slut on National TV.

On twitter and IG when Andi and Josh post a status or a pic, there are those who call her a slut for sleeping with Nick.

Or even posting on Nick's page supporting him and saying "you dodged a bullet, Andi is a slut anyway!"

Kudos to us in this forum who does not think Andi is a slut. We are classy people! *highfives everyone*

The fact remains, THE Effect = SLUT Calling *slash* Shaming.

Who called her a "slut" on national tv?

Nasty people on twitter are going to post stuff all the time. Nick is not responsible for that. Just as Andi is not responsible for Nick being called a stalker, murderer, etc.

[Catdwoman50]

This has been discussed to death, but by the time Andi walked on stage to speak to Nick on ATFR, I suspect all her compassion for him had evaporated due to what she perceived as his bad behavior.  Really a"perfect storm" scenario no doubt helped along by producers.

ITA, but I believe this is going to be an example of gender equality or inequality that will be used in social studies. IMO

[Guest]

What does Nick having had sex with more than 3 women have to do with it? Sorry.. not following you there.

Because I doubt  he was in love with everyone he slept with prior to Andi.....I doubt Nick was a virgin. For me personally there I  nothing Nick can say in this situation, it just should have been kept private.

Yeah, I'm not even sure that he's being sincere. I'm skeptical. How else does one show or explain how much something means to them? By blabbing to millions and taking every opportunity after to discuss it, of course.   Sounds real special...

I never thought that's what he meant. He told her how he felt and that he wanted to marry her. In return she said, "I wish I could say things back" and "made love." Those two things together communicated to him that she returned his feelings. As he said, that solidified the relationship. It unnecessarily took him deeper into this. He said on E! that sex is sex and making love is different. My guess would be that he has had casual sex where neither are in love. The point was to be respectful with honesty so people don't get hurt.

[Ash2214]

It doesn't matter how we view what "slut" means.

THE Effect remains.

Andi being called a slut on National TV.

On twitter and IG when Andi and Josh post a status or a pic, there are those who call her a slut for sleeping with Nick.

Or even posting on Nick's page supporting him and saying "you dodged a bullet, Andi is a slut anyway!"

Kudos to us in this forum who does not think Andi is a slut. We are classy people! *highfives everyone*

The fact remains, THE Effect = SLUT Calling *slash* Shaming.

Who called her a "slut" on national tv?

Nasty people on twitter are going to post stuff all the time. Nick is not responsible for that.  Just as Andi is not responsible for Nick being called a stalker, murderer, etc.

A Fox news anchor. Other outlets then picked that up. US Weekly ran an article on the Fox news anchor and the comment section was horrendous.

[Cari]

It doesn't matter how we view what "slut" means.

THE Effect remains.

Andi being called a slut on National TV.

On twitter and IG when Andi and Josh post a status or a pic, there are those who call her a slut for sleeping with Nick.

Or even posting on Nick's page supporting him and saying "you dodged a bullet, Andi is a slut anyway!"

Kudos to us in this forum who does not think Andi is a slut. We are classy people! *highfives everyone*

The fact remains, THE Effect = SLUT Calling *slash* Shaming.

Who called her a "slut" on national tv?

Nasty people on twitter are going to post stuff all the time. Nick is not responsible for that.  Just as Andi is not responsible for Nick being called a stalker, murderer, etc.

On Fox tv when discussing Nick's infamous question.

Again, as I was saying that was THE Effect. Whether Nick intended or not.

Just like, Nick. Whether his intentions were pure (attempting to communicate with Andi post FRC)

THE Effect was him being called a "stalker"

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