Re: Andi Dorfman & Josh Murray - Media Thread - Fan Forum - Discussion Thread #3

[Ash2214]

^ I guess it's different strokes for different folks. I guess for some people not having a committed relationship for five years is a red flag and for others being in a committed relationship, being dumped by that person, then hopping into another relationship and getting engaged to that person only for that person to call off the engagement might be a red flag.

I also wanted to add that I think people either forget or just don't know that because of baseball, Josh didn't fully commit himself to college and playing football in school at UGA until he was 25. The person who said he hasn't been in a committed relationship is someone he met through UGA. That certainly fits with Josh's timeline. It's been five years. He's been in relationships. Lauren Murray is still friends with his ex girlfriend on Facebook.

[Hotmomma]

I think here ( to me ) It's pretty 50/50 split between Josh/ Nick. For me it's still 50/50 whomshe will chose!

[soccermom333]

^ I guess it's different strokes for different folks. I guess for some people not having a committed relationship for five years is a red flag and for others being in a committed relationship, being dumped by that person, then hopping into another relationship and getting engaged to that person only for that person to call off the engagement might be a red flag.

Exactly! Everyone has different "red flags." Let's be honest, anyone going on this show could be viewed as a red flag! Haha!

[albean99]

^ I guess it's different strokes for different folks. I guess for some people not having a committed relationship for five years is a red flag and for others being in a committed relationship, being dumped by that person, then hopping into another relationship and getting engaged to that person only for that person to call off the engagement might be a red flag.

I also wanted to add that I think people either forget or just don't know that because of baseball, Josh didn't fully commit himself to college and playing football in school at UGA until he was 25. The person who said he hasn't been in a committed relationship is someone he met through UGA. That certainly fits with Josh's timeline. It's been five years. He's been in relationships. Lauren Murray is still friends with his ex girlfriend on Facebook.

Isn't Josh the one who said he hasn't "dated" for 5 yrs? I find that suspect but will assume he meant not a real gf for 5 yrs. Obviously if he wanted he could have had one so it makes me wonder if he's really serious about wanting to get married now. I don't think anyone should jump into a wedding from this show so don't really have any problem with that but don't act so eager if that's the case. Hopefully Andi is letting her prosecutor brain see past the chemistry (assuming she's picking Josh which I am).

[rosesrREd]

^ I guess it's different strokes for different folks. I guess for some people not having a committed relationship for five years is a red flag and for others being in a committed relationship, being dumped by that person, then hopping into another relationship and getting engaged to that person only for that person to call off the engagement might be a red flag.

I also wanted to add that I think people either forget or just don't know that because of baseball, Josh didn't fully commit himself to college and playing football in school at UGA until he was 25. The person who said he hasn't been in a committed relationship is someone he met through UGA. That certainly fits with Josh's timeline. It's been five years. He's been in relationships. Lauren Murray is still friends with his ex girlfriend on Facebook.

Isn't Josh the one who said he hasn't "dated" for 5 yrs? I find that suspect but will assume he meant not a real gf for 5 yrs. Obviously if he wanted he could have had one so it makes me wonder if he's really serious about wanting to get married now. I don't think anyone should jump into a wedding from this show so don't really have any problem with that but don't act so eager if that's the case. Hopefully Andi is letting her prosecutor brain see past the chemistry (assuming she's picking Josh which I am).

I don't necessarily believe that he hasn't dated in 5 years. However, I think that any girl (in Andi's position or not) would be concerned with that tidbit. As allbean99 said, you have to question whether he is really serious about a long term relationship, since in his own words has not dated in 5 years. You could say he hasn't found the right one yet, but as we all know, you have to date in order for find the "one" and since he hasn't, it is a huge question mark, IMO.

[Ash2214]

^ Yes, I was more so speaking in regards to some comments that perhaps Josh hasn't had a girlfriend ever, which he has. I'm not sure what he meant exactly, but I'm assuming it's that he hasn't had a serious girlfriend in five years. From what he has said and from what I've read of him in real life, he seems like a solid guy. I've seen it first hand with my brother who dated someone from the age of 19-21 and then didn't have another seriously girlfriend until he was 25 and he's now 27 and has been dating the same girl for two years, but four years had passed in between. Sometimes you just don't find someone. Other times you date and you realize there isn't any potential for a future, so you let that person go so you don't waste anyone's time. There are also instances where you feel like there are other things going on and you feel like you can't fully commit yourself to a relationship and then at some point down the line you feel like you're ready to give yourself fully to someone.

Josh and Andi have wonderful chemistry. They also have a lot in common and their logistics match up - especially right down to living approximately ten minutes from each other. I don't know these two people personally so I can't sit here and say they're going to last or that they're going to break up. This show is ridiculously silly and it's not until after the show is when the real relationship starts.

[Luvvy]

^ I guess it's different strokes for different folks. I guess for some people not having a committed relationship for five years is a red flag and for others being in a committed relationship, being dumped by that person, then hopping into another relationship and getting engaged to that person only for that person to call off the engagement might be a red flag.

I also wanted to add that I think people either forget or just don't know that because of baseball, Josh didn't fully commit himself to college and playing football in school at UGA until he was 25. The person who said he hasn't been in a committed relationship is someone he met through UGA. That certainly fits with Josh's timeline. It's been five years. He's been in relationships. Lauren Murray is still friends with his ex girlfriend on Facebook.

Isn't Josh the one who said he hasn't "dated" for 5 yrs? I find that suspect but will assume he meant not a real gf for 5 yrs. Obviously if he wanted he could have had one so it makes me wonder if he's really serious about wanting to get married now. I don't think anyone should jump into a wedding from this show so don't really have any problem with that but don't act so eager if that's the case. Hopefully Andi is letting her prosecutor brain see past the chemistry (assuming she's picking Josh which I am).

The thing is that there are red flags that can be found for any of the guys that she's had there if you search for them. There are two ways of looking at it - either as a negative or as a positive that he waited until he found someone he was serious about before committing.

What Josh told her is in line with what his family knows about him, too (not dating in 5 years). Has he dated casually, had sex, whatever else? Probably, maybe. We won't know. I take his statement to mean he wasn't in a serious relationship.

As for Andi seeing past the chemistry, she's been doing that the whole show, which imo is why Josh has had it worse than any of the guys. She's mentioned at least three times that she has grilled him and has been hard on him. She wants to know that there is more than chemistry there, that she can trust him, that he can put his wife first, that he feels "bigger" things about her than any other girl, and that he can be serious - all things they've addressed in the short time we've been shown. Obstacle after obstacle each episode is what we've been shown. I think it's time for her to let her hair down, relax, and accept that the man of her dreams is right in front of her.  

[albean99]

It's all these comments about them getting married and having babies that make me want to caution that we don't know Josh, Nick, or Andi. We only know the tv versions of all of them. Jason & Molly did an interview with Wetpaint where they basically said that none of them are really "in love" while on the show. It all starts later. If I had my way there wouldn't be an engagement at the end because it's not a good indication that anything will work irl. Happily there have been some successes from the show and some peripherally (Chris & Peyton, Holly & Blake). I guess we'll just have to wait and see what Andi & her f1 will be like together in the real world.

[stuckinsc]

It's all these comments about them getting married and having babies that make me want to caution that we don't know Josh, Nick, or Andi. We only know the tv versions of all of them. Jason & Molly did an interview with Wetpaint where they basically said that none of them are really "in love" while on the show. It all starts later. If I had my way there wouldn't be an engagement at the end because it's not a good indication that anything will work irl. Happily there have been some successes from the show and some peripherally (Chris & Peyton, Holly & Blake). I guess we'll just have to wait and see what Andi & her f1 will be like together in the real world.

I agree albean.  The engagement is my least favorite thing about this series.  It can work, but it seems too fast in general, and when it doesn't work out you have a broken engagement.  Like Jason, his groomsman made fun of him for proposing to three women in under two years.  Pretty ridiculous!

It can work and I applaud those for whom it has, but it certainly still isn't the normal.

[cantstopwatchin]

The way I see it - "5 years of dating (not being in a relationship)" = 5 years of sowing his wild oats.  Nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes a person has to go through that phase to realize they're ready to settle down...and when they settle down, they've no need to sow their wild oats any more.  

That's why I don't find Josh's lack of serious relationship worrisome.  He's at the point he doesn't want to "settle" for just any woman.  I say good for him; I could see him completely committed to the woman he does choose to settle down with and that's what's most important...

[Piper61]

The way I see it - "5 years of dating (not being in a relationship)" = 5 years of sowing his wild oats.  Nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes a person has to go through that phase to realize they're ready to settle down...and when they settle down, they've no need to sow their wild oats any more.  

That's why I don't find Josh's lack of serious relationship worrisome.  He's at the point he doesn't want to "settle" for just any woman.  I say good for him; I could see him completely committed to the woman he does choose to settle down with and that's what's most important...

I agree. Good post! And I would feel this way if we were talking about Nick, Chris or any of the guys.

[Alanna]

The way I see it - "5 years of dating (not being in a relationship)" = 5 years of sowing his wild oats.  Nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes a person has to go through that phase to realize they're ready to settle down...and when they settle down, they've no need to sow their wild oats any more.  

That's why I don't find Josh's lack of serious relationship worrisome.  He's at the point he doesn't want to "settle" for just any woman.  I say good for him; I could see him completely committed to the woman he does choose to settle down with and that's what's most important...

Yeah, I don't think not dating for 5 years means he was a monk, but just not in a serious relationship.

Anyway, I feel like I don't need to worry about Josh's red flags because Andi has already searched for all his red flags ad nauseam and if he made it through her screener, I'm good.

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