Re: Andi Dorfman & Josh Murray - Media Thread - Fan Forum - Discussion Thread #3

[Bhaka]

It's all these comments about them getting married and having babies that make me want to caution that we don't know Josh, Nick, or Andi. We only know the tv versions of all of them. Jason & Molly did an interview with Wetpaint where they basically said that none of them are really "in love" while on the show. It all starts later. If I had my way there wouldn't be an engagement at the end because it's not a good indication that anything will work irl. Happily there have been some successes from the show and some peripherally (Chris & Peyton, Holly & Blake). I guess we'll just have to wait and see what Andi & her f1 will be like together in the real world.

IRL, I agree that such a quick engagement might not be a great idea. However, in an environment where people commit to a 1:25 dating arrangement, the normal definition of "engagement" may not hold. In this show, I don't think it's a big stretch to see an "engagement" as simply an agreement to pursue a relationship and see where it goes. A few generations ago, an engagement was often between two virgins who never even considered the possibility of a test drive. Back then, getting engaged was a huge risk with a lot of unknowns. Our society has been redefining what engaged couples can and can't do for many years now. This show may be pushing societal limits, but it certainly isn't novel.

[Georgia Lindsay]

The way I see it - "5 years of dating (not being in a relationship)" = 5 years of sowing his wild oats.  Nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes a person has to go through that phase to realize they're ready to settle down...and when they settle down, they've no need to sow their wild oats any more.  

That's why I don't find Josh's lack of serious relationship worrisome.  He's at the point he doesn't want to "settle" for just any woman.  I say good for him; I could see him completely committed to the woman he does choose to settle down with and that's what's most important...

Yeah, I don't think not dating for 5 years means he was a monk, but just not in a serious relationship.

Anyway, I feel like I don't need to worry about Josh's red flags because Andi has already searched for all his red flags ad nauseam and if he made it through her screener, I'm good.

Alanna, perfect description    Yeah, I agree, just means he hasn't met anyone he felt would lead to total commitment and marriage til he met Andi.

[Guest]

[quote="rosesrREd"][quote="albean99"]

^ I guess it's different strokes for different folks. I guess for some people not having a committed relationship for five years is a red flag and for others being in a committed relationship, being dumped by that person, then hopping into another relationship and getting engaged to that person only for that person to call off the engagement might be a red flag.

I also wanted to add that I think people either forget or just don't know that because of baseball, Josh didn't fully commit himself to college and playing football in school at UGA until he was 25. The person who said he hasn't been in a committed relationship is someone he met through UGA. That certainly fits with Josh's timeline. It's been five years. He's been in relationships. Lauren Murray is still friends with his ex girlfriend on Facebook.

Do we know who his ex girlfriend/s are? If she is still friends with his mom, then they obviously ended things amicably, which is a good sign.

[MiaHawk]

It's all these comments about them getting married and having babies that make me want to caution that we don't know Josh, Nick, or Andi. We only know the tv versions of all of them. Jason & Molly did an interview with Wetpaint where they basically said that none of them are really "in love" while on the show. It all starts later. If I had my way there wouldn't be an engagement at the end because it's not a good indication that anything will work irl. Happily there have been some successes from the show and some peripherally (Chris & Peyton, Holly & Blake). I guess we'll just have to wait and see what Andi & her f1 will be like together in the real world.

IRL, I agree that such a quick engagement might not be a great idea.  However, in an environment where people commit to a 1:25 dating arrangement, the normal definition of "engagement" may not hold.  In this show, I don't think it's a big stretch to see an "engagement" as simply an agreement to pursue a relationship and see where it goes.  A few generations ago, an engagement was often between two virgins who never even considered the possibility of a test drive.  Back then, getting engaged was a huge risk with a lot of unknowns.  Our society has been redefining what engaged couples can and can't do for many years now.  This show may be pushing societal limits, but it certainly isn't novel.

Bhaka, I really like your post. Food for thought.

[2observe]

The way I see it - "5 years of dating (not being in a relationship)" = 5 years of sowing his wild oats.  Nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes a person has to go through that phase to realize they're ready to settle down...and when they settle down, they've no need to sow their wild oats any more.  

That's why I don't find Josh's lack of serious relationship worrisome.  He's at the point he doesn't want to "settle" for just any woman.  I say good for him; I could see him completely committed to the woman he does choose to settle down with and that's what's most important...

If I recall correctly, Josh said, during his first 1 on 1 date, that he had not been with a woman in 5 years. That's a huge difference, imo.

[Jolena]

The way I see it - "5 years of dating (not being in a relationship)" = 5 years of sowing his wild oats.  Nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes a person has to go through that phase to realize they're ready to settle down...and when they settle down, they've no need to sow their wild oats any more.  

That's why I don't find Josh's lack of serious relationship worrisome.  He's at the point he doesn't want to "settle" for just any woman.  I say good for him; I could see him completely committed to the woman he does choose to settle down with and that's what's most important...

If I recall correctly, Josh said, during his first 1 on 1 date, that he had not been with a woman in 5 years.  That's a huge difference, imo.

When he said that, I took it that he must have meant that he hadn't been in and exclusive relationship with anyone in 5 years. I find it Hard to believe that a guy as handsome and as nice as him didn't have one night stands once in a while . Just no one that he was interested in enough to bring home to Momma Murray. ( he pretty much said that to her on the bench on his FD that they know he wouldn't just bring home anyone to meet them.) I'm sure he's had woman chasing the hell out of him.  :Nod: 

[Eagle Eye]

The way I see it - "5 years of dating (not being in a relationship)" = 5 years of sowing his wild oats.  Nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes a person has to go through that phase to realize they're ready to settle down...and when they settle down, they've no need to sow their wild oats any more.  

That's why I don't find Josh's lack of serious relationship worrisome.  He's at the point he doesn't want to "settle" for just any woman.  I say good for him; I could see him completely committed to the woman he does choose to settle down with and that's what's most important...

If I recall correctly, Josh said, during his first 1 on 1 date, that he had not been with a woman in 5 years.  That's a huge difference, imo.

Nope. He said, "It's been a long time since I've gone out with anybody." He never said he hadn't been with a woman in five years.

[soccermom333]

The way I see it - "5 years of dating (not being in a relationship)" = 5 years of sowing his wild oats.  Nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes a person has to go through that phase to realize they're ready to settle down...and when they settle down, they've no need to sow their wild oats any more.  

That's why I don't find Josh's lack of serious relationship worrisome.  He's at the point he doesn't want to "settle" for just any woman.  I say good for him; I could see him completely committed to the woman he does choose to settle down with and that's what's most important...

If I recall correctly, Josh said, during his first 1 on 1 date, that he had not been with a woman in 5 years.  That's a huge difference, imo.

Nope. He said, "It's been a long time since I've gone out with anybody." He never said he hadn't been with a woman in five years.

Thank you for setting the record straight. Big difference...

[luvlady345]

The way I see it - "5 years of dating (not being in a relationship)" = 5 years of sowing his wild oats.  Nothing wrong with that.  Sometimes a person has to go through that phase to realize they're ready to settle down...and when they settle down, they've no need to sow their wild oats any more.  

That's why I don't find Josh's lack of serious relationship worrisome.  He's at the point he doesn't want to "settle" for just any woman.  I say good for him; I could see him completely committed to the woman he does choose to settle down with and that's what's most important...

If I recall correctly, Josh said, during his first 1 on 1 date, that he had not been with a woman in 5 years.  That's a huge difference, imo.

No he didn't ....

[Kashathediva]

We never know what these people actually said vs what the show gave us and want us to hear.
What we do know is whatever he actually said and what he meant and was left out gave us fodder to discuss for many weeks.   

[SueSt]

Interesting article.
The writer explains why the Bachelorette is way better than the Bachelor (I agree and only watch the former) - The Bachelorette is a religious experience, while The Bachelor is mere idolatry

http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-arts-and-culture/179065/bachelorette

[Luvvy]

ITA with that!

[Sponsored content]