Re: Bachelorette 10 - Andi Dorfman - Episode 8 - HTDs - Jul 07/14 *Spoilers & Sleuthing* - Discussion Thread #2

[Jolena]

I think it's also a function of the fact that Josh just scoops her up, picks her up, all over her, and doesn't "ask" permission like the others seem to. He's "man handling" her, just like she wants.

Exactly my thoughts ! And she LOVES it !   

[stuckinsc]

I would like to ask what about Josh makes him seem like an unrealistic choice for Andi if she wants her fairy tale ending and happily ever after?  Just because Josh hasn't been in a committed relationship in the last 5 years or so, or engaged and then a broken engagement, that doesn't mean that he doesn't know what a committed relationship is and looks like or what a happy and good marriage looks like.  He only has to look at his parents for that.  He has a great family relationship, seems to be extremely loyal and supportive of those he loves and has a protective nature as well.  He and Andi seem to have so much in common with which to further build their relationship upon, and like all relationships/marriages, it will have ups and downs, hurdles to overcome, compromise, etc.  Based upon what they both grew up with, they have parents whose marriages have so far stood the test of time.  No doubt that at times all hasn't been rosy there either.  

There is nothing wrong with Josh. For me Andi's doubt about Josh is the problem. If it goes away on the FD great, if not then I don't think she should pick him, if it comes to the last week and something inside her still says that she isn't trusting him.

Nick and Josh are both great guys and whoever ends up with either guy will be lucky. I personally like the Andi I see around Nick better than the Andi I see around Josh.

I do see Andi and Josh's strong personality having lots of fights. They will either learn to work through that or they won't.

I will try to support whichever couple comes out of this show.

In some ways it is what Des said, she got what she needed, not necessarily what she wanted. I think if you asked her now, it is both what she wants and needs, but her first instinct and perfect got it perfect guy was not the one she needed.

Someone can be both what you want and need, but sometimes not.

[rosesrREd]

The issue I have is Josh stated he "quit baseball so he could have a family." He then said in the next sentence that "he hasn't dated in 5 years." You have to date to have the family, that you quit baseball for. It doesn't make sense. I don't think Josh is a bad person at all, but there are some red flags.

[stuckinsc]

The issue I have is Josh stated he "quit baseball so he could have a family."  He then said in the next sentence that "he hasn't dated in 5 years."  You have to date to have the family, that you quit baseball for.  It doesn't make sense.  I don't think Josh is a bad person at all, but there are some red flags.

In that five years he was in Athens helping both Stephanie and Aaron through their time at UGA. He has said in an interview that since he left home at 17, he missed a lot of both Stephanie and Aaron growing up. He did focus on family, just his siblings not necessarily getting his own children. I also bet he dated, just not seriously. I took five years off of dating seriously to take care of my family too, so I understand this.

[Cecilia]

The issue I have is Josh stated he "quit baseball so he could have a family."  He then said in the next sentence that "he hasn't dated in 5 years."  You have to date to have the family, that you quit baseball for.  It doesn't make sense.  I don't think Josh is a bad person at all, but there are some red flags.

Agreed. the whole I haven't dated in 5 years is so weird to me.

[pander3575]

The issue I have is Josh stated he "quit baseball so he could have a family."  He then said in the next sentence that "he hasn't dated in 5 years."  You have to date to have the family, that you quit baseball for.  It doesn't make sense.  I don't think Josh is a bad person at all, but there are some red flags.

In that five years he was in Athens helping both Stephanie and Aaron through their time at UGA.  He has said in an interview that since he left home at 17, he missed a lot of both Stephanie and Aaron growing up.  He did focus on family, just his siblings not necessarily getting his own children.  I also bet he dated, just not seriously.  I took five years off of dating seriously to take care of my family too, so I understand this.

During that time he was also getting his degree. I agree he probably did go on some dates but he said on one of his dates with Andi he'd been busy. I'm sure doing football at UGA, helping Steph and Aaron and we also don't know what role he played when his parents were sick.

[Piper61]

The issue I have is Josh stated he "quit baseball so he could have a family."  He then said in the next sentence that "he hasn't dated in 5 years."  You have to date to have the family, that you quit baseball for.  It doesn't make sense.  I don't think Josh is a bad person at all, but there are some red flags.

In that five years he was in Athens helping both Stephanie and Aaron through their time at UGA.  He has said in an interview that since he left home at 17, he missed a lot of both Stephanie and Aaron growing up.  He did focus on family, just his siblings not necessarily getting his own children.  I also bet he dated, just not seriously.  I took five years off of dating seriously to take care of my family too, so I understand this.

I think he dated, too, but not seriously because he stated that if he didn't feel the person was someone he would fall in love with, then he didn't see the point of continuing a casual relationship. Those weren't his exact words, but that was the gist I got. Josh is 29, certainly not some seasoned bachelor and recluse. I personally don't see the red flags where this is concerned. We didn't hear Josh answer that he had slept with more than 20 women, for instance.    I say that not judging Dylan, but that would be more of a red flag to me. I have two sons, and that would freak me out if I heard that, but I am 100% confident I never will either.

[Piper61]

I would like to ask what about Josh makes him seem like an unrealistic choice for Andi if she wants her fairy tale ending and happily ever after?  Just because Josh hasn't been in a committed relationship in the last 5 years or so, or engaged and then a broken engagement, that doesn't mean that he doesn't know what a committed relationship is and looks like or what a happy and good marriage looks like.  He only has to look at his parents for that.  He has a great family relationship, seems to be extremely loyal and supportive of those he loves and has a protective nature as well.  He and Andi seem to have so much in common with which to further build their relationship upon, and like all relationships/marriages, it will have ups and downs, hurdles to overcome, compromise, etc.  Based upon what they both grew up with, they have parents whose marriages have so far stood the test of time.  No doubt that at times all hasn't been rosy there either.  

There is nothing wrong with Josh.  For me Andi's doubt about Josh is the problem.  If it goes away on the FD great, if not then I don't think she should pick him, if it comes to the last week and something inside her still says that she isn't trusting him.

Nick and Josh are both great guys and whoever ends up with either guy will be lucky.  I personally like the Andi I see around Nick better than the Andi I see around Josh.

I do see Andi and Josh's strong personality having lots of fights.  They will either learn to work through that or they won't.  

I will try to support whichever couple comes out of this show.

In some ways it is what Des said, she got what she needed, not necessarily what she wanted.  I think if you asked her now, it is both what she wants and needs, but her first instinct and perfect got it perfect guy was not the one she needed.  

Someone can be both what you want and need, but sometimes not.

I don't think this will happen, but by Georgia! if it does, I am inclined to agree, don't pick him.

[pander3575]

During the HTD's did we hear her say she didn't "trust" him? She might be over that part but in the next ones it might be more about which do I choose head/heart.

[Guest]

We have had cancer in our family and it is physically and emotionally time consuming.  The fact that Josh quit baseball and helped out with his brother and sister, got his degree and did not date much is a young man with his priorities in the right place.  This is not odd but to be admired.

[pander3575]

We have had cancer in our family and it is physically and emotionally time consuming.  The fact that Josh quit baseball and helped out with his brother and sister, got his degree and did not date much is a young man with his priorities in the right place.  This is not odd but to be admired.

  

[Kashathediva]

The issue I have is Josh stated he "quit baseball so he could have a family."  He then said in the next sentence that "he hasn't dated in 5 years."  You have to date to have the family, that you quit baseball for.  It doesn't make sense.  I don't think Josh is a bad person at all, but there are some red flags.

Agreed.  the whole I haven't dated in 5 years is so weird to me.

What's just as weird to me is "helping/supporting someone get through college." 
What does this mean? I can't even fathom it. Go to class with them? Take notes? Exams? Tutor them? Go through sorority/fraternity rush and hazing? Go to purple passion parties? 
Please. If you end up living in Athens and working great, certainly no issues, but to say you are there to keep your sibs on the straight and narrow makes them sound like delinquents which I am sure they were not.  
I'm not trying to diminish illness, but many families go through similar situations and worse and don't make it out like one is a sacrificial lamb.  He may have many great qualities, I just don't see this puts him in line with sainthood. JMO

[Sponsored content]