Re: Josh Murray - Bachelorette 10 Contestant - Spoilers - Discussion - Thread #2

by Piper61 Tue Jun 03, 2014 10:30 am

docnash14 wrote:
Alanna wrote:
bleuberry wrote:As cute as they are together, and I loved their little one on one time, I feel like I got glimpses tonight of them butting heads when the real test begins. Hope I'm wrong and that the hoopla of the show makes them come off as difficult and weirdly intense.
ITA. Those tempers are going to flay each other unless both of them work hard at it. I do think he's f1 but I also fear she didn't have any great option (Marcus is young, Nick is a Kmart shopper, Chris is a farmer), went with what she knew and it's going to end like always for her. Hope he's not a cheater at least.

I agree that it will be important for them, if Josh is indeed F1, to work on ways of expressing anger so that their styles don't collide (anger in and of itself is not bad; in fact, it serves an important function in that it allows us to stand up/assert ourselves; it's the way we express it or repress it that gets us into trouble).That being said, I see potential in their pairing. I am reminded of one of my favorite passages from the book Conversations with God where the author asks God the purpose of a committed intimate relationship such as marriage. God responds, "that's an easy question - one purpose and one purpose only -to help each other become who you really are."

The need to be in control is not a reflection of who we really are but rather the armor we wear to protect ourselves. If Andi is able to shed her self-admitted need to control, she will take a significant step toward authenticity and consequently toward true intimacy which by definition is the exposure of the real selves. I can see Josh being able to help her challenge/confront her need for control.

Once again, you have managed to express another of my thoughts (bolded) which is, at times expressing anger/butting heads is healthy, etc. And you went on to express eloquently even more detail to support that thought.

I may be wrong, but a lot of focus is on Josh's "temper" and though we've seen him quite intense in the last two episodes, I still have to wonder how much Nick's plane video has projected stronger feelings than what otherwise may have been acknowledged, but not resulted in such backlash and dislike of Josh. More telling to me would be supporting declarations from people who are close to him in normal every day life.

Without knowing what is yet to come, so far, the interactions between Josh and Andi do not lead me to believe that they would be a bad pairing and that they wouldn't stand a chance beyond the show of a normal, healthy relationship based upon her reactions to Craig and Eric, nor his to finding out about Andrew, etc.

by notarose Tue Jun 03, 2014 10:47 am

After seeing the Eric encounter, I feel that Josh is the best choice for Andi. If they commit to each other they can then navigate through their reactive natures together.

All of the three other spoiled men, at this point, appear to be much more tempered and if any one of them were coupled with Andi, in her current state, would need to either avoid agitating her or have to commit to a lengthy process of figuring out how to communicate in a way that doesn't incur what Eric witnessed. In relationships, one needs to feel that unpleasantries can be shared and resolved.

I'd rather Chris, Nick, and Marcus (all 3 with their imperfections as well) find love elsewhere.

by Iam4UGA Tue Jun 03, 2014 11:33 am

I guess it's just me, but I really don't see Josh as having a temper.

He is outspoken, and he is definitely confident. Maybe a little arrogant to some, I can see where that might come across, but I just don't see this raging bull temper that people are portraying him to have.

by Piper61 Tue Jun 03, 2014 11:44 am

Iam4UGA wrote:I guess it's just me, but I really don't see Josh as having a temper.

He is outspoken, and he is definitely confident. Maybe a little arrogant to some, I can see where that might come across, but I just don't see this raging bull temper that people are portraying him to have.

I don't either just based off of what has been televised.

by jcrbil Tue Jun 03, 2014 11:49 am

^^ I don't see it either. And, as of yet, I haven't seen jealousy, either. TPTB like to exploit any chink in the armor that they can find. While in CT, Josh didn't spend much time alone with Andi so I'm sure that was hard. He's a competitive guy, and emotion comes out in competition.

Also, these guys aren't blind (or deaf) and they can see who Andi's into (or not). And I'm sure she spent more time with the guys she liked best, given the opportunity. We have to wait two weeks to see their one on one interaction (and our anticipation by then will be almost as keen as theirs was at the time!), then we'll see how he reacts when she with other guys and he's around- does his confidence waiver? Is he jealous? protective? angry?.

by Piper61 Tue Jun 03, 2014 11:56 am

jcrbil wrote:^^ I don't see it either. And, as of yet, I haven't seen jealousy, either. TPTB like to exploit any chink in the armor that they can find. While in CT, Josh didn't spend much time alone with Andi so I'm sure that was hard. He's a competitive guy, and emotion comes out in competition.

Also, these guys aren't blind (or deaf) and they can see who Andi's into (or not). And I'm sure she spent more time with the guys she liked best, given the opportunity. We have to wait two weeks to see their one on one interaction (and our anticipation by then will be almost as keen as theirs was at the time!), then we'll see how he reacts when she with other guys and he's around- does his confidence waiver? Is he jealous? protective? angry?.

My anticipation level is already high watching the preview for Episode 5. giggling

When he's shown dancing with her, he tells her that he is so happy...I predict that the date goes very well and the wait will be worth it. It will be telling how he behaves/reacts afterward as the days go by.

by notarose Tue Jun 03, 2014 11:58 am

Piper61 wrote:
Iam4UGA wrote:I guess it's just me, but I really don't see Josh as having a temper.

He is outspoken, and he is definitely confident. Maybe a little arrogant to some, I can see where that might come across, but I just don't see this raging bull temper that people are portraying him to have.
I don't either just based off of what has been televised.

I wouldn't say he has a temper because we haven't seen him rant or similar.
I do feel he is more emotionally driven than many of the other men and that shows on his face. This applies to both a show of positive and negative emotion. When he is angry or upset, he "wears" it. The same applies to when he's happy. He does keep his discontent under check (self controlled) but is highly assertive in situations where others may be less so. In other words, there are things that seem to push his button more readily.

He seems her most likely pick for many reasons.

by Piper61 Tue Jun 03, 2014 12:03 pm

^^^It could be said that Josh does not have a poker face.

by Iam4UGA Tue Jun 03, 2014 12:10 pm

Piper61 wrote:^^^It could be said that Josh does not have a poker face.

by BuckeyeGal06 Tue Jun 03, 2014 12:23 pm

I don't see a temper in Josh either, maybe a hint of arrogance. However, that could be because he is so self-assured of himself and his relationship with Andi.

by Ash2214 Tue Jun 03, 2014 12:33 pm

Silliness is totally welcome here Smiley

but it is kind of silly that people are saying Josh has a temper because he was upset that he lost a basketball game and he did say at some point too that he was upset because he wanted to spend time with Andi and that's why he was there. Drama has to be created every season. Production probably pushed JJ to confront Andrew and I'm sure they told him to bring some of the other guys into it too.

To say someone has a bad temper or anger issues over this is a bit much. We don't know him.

And then for people to say Marcus seems like a great, calm guy? Well apparently he's a great, calm guy that likes to cheat on his girlfriends.

by Catdwoman50 Tue Jun 03, 2014 12:45 pm

docnash14 wrote:
Alanna wrote:
bleuberry wrote:As cute as they are together, and I loved their little one on one time, I feel like I got glimpses tonight of them butting heads when the real test begins. Hope I'm wrong and that the hoopla of the show makes them come off as difficult and weirdly intense.
ITA. Those tempers are going to flay each other unless both of them work hard at it. I do think he's f1 but I also fear she didn't have any great option (Marcus is young, Nick is a Kmart shopper, Chris is a farmer), went with what she knew and it's going to end like always for her. Hope he's not a cheater at least.

I agree that it will be important for them, if Josh is indeed F1, to work on ways of expressing anger so that their styles don't collide (anger in and of itself is not bad; in fact, it serves an important function in that it allows us to stand up/assert ourselves; it's the way we express it or repress it that gets us into trouble).

That being said, I see potential in their pairing. I am reminded of one of my favorite passages from the book Conversations with God where the author asks God the purpose of a committed intimate relationship such as marriage. God responds, "that's an easy question - one purpose and one purpose only -to help each other become who you really are."

The need to be in control is not a reflection of who we really are but rather the armor we wear to protect ourselves. If Andi is able to shed her self-admitted need to control, she will take a significant step toward authenticity and consequently toward true intimacy which by definition is the exposure of the real selves. I can see Josh being able to help her challenge/confront her need for control.

ITA

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