Re: Episode 10 (Finale Part 1) - 7/29 - Bachelorette 9 - Thread #1

[Guest]

This is great!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

[Alanna]

You know I think the hardest part for me about last night's show was watching Des talk about the fact that she's been alone and had to take care of herself most of her life, so she's going to have to keep on doing that. That she had hoped with Brooks that she wouldn't have to be alone anymore...:pinkcry: 

But luckily Brooks quickly realizes that he is in love by golly and proposes! And they're engaged! True love lives on... 

Hey friend!! I love your posts as always. It is sad! I feel bad for her and I'm not even a fan. She'll be okay though, she's young and once she gets some self esteem, a decent guy will show up and love her. This Brooks thing is probably already all over anyway.

[SouthernMomOf4]

This is great!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

  That is a good one!  

[Piper61]

This is great!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Very funny!

[BachfanNY]

This is great!

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Very funny!

this was pretty accurate  

[cfck2222]

Producers can do whatever it is they do but the reality is the guy said he knows what it is to be in love and this isn't it. He said it in a well thought out, calm fashion.

Very little to nothing in the Bach/ette bubble is real love, the only difference is the degree to which the lead and contestants deceive themselves on that subject.

I say this as somebody who saw something special in the way Ashley and JP communicated during their season (a season that, it turns out, has cured me of the ability to get invested in any subsequent couple on this show). Yes, Ashley and JP found love by meeting on this show. Yes, Trista and Ryan found love by meeting on this show. But all credit for that really goes to how they built their respective relationships after the show, based on the small foundation of their experience on the show.

I'm not going to argue with anybody who says the foundation Desiree has with any of these guys looks way unstable after what we've been shown, casting doubt on their ability to build anything after the show. All I'm saying is I don't differentiate between the feelings Brooks actually has for Desiree and the feelings she has, or the feelings Drew and Chris have for her based on Brooks's skepticism versus Desiree's, Drew, and Chris's complete lack of doubt.

[Norcalgal]

Too bad Antigua is located in the Caribbean instead of Europe because it was just a really really bad train wreck.

[Guest]

Saw Chris H this morning on GMA. He was a little too giddy about last night, saying "wasn't that great"? Who takes  such pleasure in seeing other people hurting?

Mike "Booyah!" Fleiss, that's who! (I don't know if you remember this, but right after the Jillian/Ed season was over, US Weekly ran a cover story about Ed's dalliances with other women while the season was shooting and after it was done shooting and he was engaged to Jillian. Fleiss's reaction when asked about was "Booyah!").

This show was an especially horrible track record for how it treats its female leads. The show exploits the dynamic of women being most judgmental of each other in presenting the story of its female lead to its (primarily female) audience, and always has a major storyline during the Bach'ette season where you are led to question the female lead's judgment, worth, whatever. It happens even and perhaps especially to respectable, professional women who agree to be leads on this show. Now it's happened to Desiree, and there's no doubt the judgment is going to rain down hard and fast on her no matter what the outcome of the season was. Now, if the show believes in the lead/F1 relationship, it's possible there will be an attempt at redemption in next week's episode. I don't know if that will happen, because the show has done everything in its power to encourage the audience to question Desiree's eventual decision. The way Fleiss and his minions portray and treat their female leads is reprehensible.

I feel for Desiree and all 3 guys. Drew and Chris were exploited by the bubble just like Brooks was. They fell in "bubble" love, and I hope/think they recovered quickly enough once outside the bubble. If either of them agrees to become the next Bachelor, they've asked for whatever comes, though Fleiss generally treats his male leads better than his female leads. Brooks made a startling and kind of admirable attempt to leave the bubble and try to figure out what was really going on, but likely only because the producers were pushing the right buttons and playing on his every doubt. If he's F1, hopefully he & Desiree will be able to build something in the real world. But he has some serious 'splaining to do to her and those buttons the producers pushed are things he may need to work on. Desiree just wanted to have her obvious F1 but the producers were hellbent on a storyline to spice things up and made da*n sure she had no off-camera time with Brooks. They always make the leads with an obvious F1 pay the price, and have no problem undermining those relationships for the sake of their social experiments.

For Desiree and her F1, if they are solid, their only real chance at redemption will be to build something real outside the show, last a respectable amount of time in the real world (away from the exploitative, manipulative environment inside the Bach/ette bubble), and selectively grant some tabloid exclusives to reshape the public view of their relationship.

This is very true. Ashley is the best example to me. The way she was portrayed and treatment she got over the Bentley story line was awful. I really couldn't believe what they did to her and the crap that CH spouted during the season to cast doubts on her and JP. I was livid with how the show and fans talked about her. It was so distasteful. Luckily she got JP and we got a great love story but man do they have no mercy for the female leads.

[Guest]

You know I think the hardest part for me about last night's show was watching Des talk about the fact that she's been alone and had to take care of herself most of her life, so she's going to have to keep on doing that. That she had hoped with Brooks that she wouldn't have to be alone anymore...:pinkcry: 

But luckily Brooks quickly realizes that he is in love by golly and proposes! And they're engaged! True love lives on... 

Now she will have to take care of both herself and Brooks. He needs a mother more than a wife. I hope she just walks. She will always have to be there for him. Dependable he is not. :hidingchair 

[Longhornfan]

Producers can do whatever it is they do but the reality is the guy said he knows what it is to be in love and this isn't it.  He said it in a well thought out, calm fashion.

There have been plenty of red flags throughout the season as well.  His body language, the conversation where she is "running" and he "isn't there".  

Brooks is simply NOT as into Desiree and Desiree is into Brooks.  It is what it is no matter how TPTB or fans want to spin it.  The guy likes her, he respects her, but he doesn't love her.

IMO ring or no ring, rehab or no rehab, proposal or no proposal, this is not then next Trista and Ryan season.  Even if by some producer manipulation Brooks proposes my bet is by the time we are looking at a new bachelor this relationship is a bad memory.

I agree.  Brooks did say that he knows what it feels like to be in love, and he wants to feel that way about Des, but he just doesn't.  I do think that it was well thought out, and his conclusion was that despite how much he cared about Des, he was not in love with her.

Des does seem to be following her old pattern of being attracted to men that are unavailable.  I wish that she could get to the root of that, so she could recognize why she continues to pick men, that according to her, don't love her back as much as she loves them.  And I felt like she was putting a guilt trip on Brooks there toward the end, but you can't make someone feel something that they don't.

[DoxieMom]

Just another person weighing in here...

A lot of viewers have long watched the Bachelor/ette series for a fantasy version of love, IMO.  However, when the much talked about "bubble" bursts, and real-life sets in, the lead and F1 can't maintain what they thought was love in the unreal storybook setting in said "bubble".

Did the producers work overtime on Brooks to exploit every insecurity he had because they needed drama for a season that was branded as "boring"?  And, did the producers take advantage of Des being vulnerable enough to admit that she was in love with Brooks too soon?  I believe the producers are guilty of these things and more.  

But, here is the thing.  I've been Des.  And, I've had a Brooks in my life.  A man like Brooks is damaged (but, there are a lot of damaged people in the world).  My "Brooks" and I have had that same scene played between us so many times that I've lost count.  Would some people consider me a glutton for punishment?  Probably.  Those who have been lucky enough to find a seemingly "healthier" or "more normal" version of love, I suppose.  But, I, like Des (I suspect) simply fell in love with who we love - men who maybe aren't the "best" choice because of their complexities and insecurities.  It's not easy to love these men sometimes, I'll admit.  And, if Brooks comes back (which I think he will) and they end up together (which I think they will, at least at the conclusion of the show), she'll likely have a hard road - just as I have had.

But, even though there are certainly challenges in loving a man like this - there are great times as well.  This is real love for some people.  It's not tied up in a neat little package with a pretty bow.  Some of us have messy love stories.  But, despite the messiness, we love our men to pieces.  And, they may not be able to articulate their feelings well, and freak out from time to time due to over analyzing things, and fall into a depression from time to time - but, that's just a part of who they are.  (Just a note, I don't think for one minute that I'm any version of being close to perfect, or that Des is, it's just that our love interests seem to pale in comparison to more "appropriate" choices like Chris and Drew.  If this were a movie, I'd have no doubt that production would have had Chris and Drew in capes and riding white horses.  Brooks, on the other hand, would've been clad from head to foot in black leather riding a horse to match).

But, here's the crux of the matter - my "Brooks" and I have been together for 24 years.  And, during that time we have never been unfaithful to one another, we still make one another laugh, and we have a beautiful family (to which, he is an excellent father).  

I know that we didn't start our relationship under the same circumstances, and I don't presume to know every detail of their relationship from what we've been shown - but, I do know that I've been right where they were last night, and yes, things could change totally the next day, let alone five days later.  Maybe after the hell that the producers put these two through, the irony is that they may have a better chance of making it than most couples who have gone through the "fairy tale" version of the process.

[Piper61]

  Great post, DoxieMom! And congratulations to you and your Brooks for having a relationship such as yours for 24 years, and seeing the beauty, love and value of it.

[Sponsored content]