Re: Episode 10 (Finale Part 1) - 7/29 - Bachelorette 9 - Thread #1

[Kashathediva]

Everyone deserves to be loved (unless they are a sociopath or such, but I believe even Dexter is loved!) unconditionally by someone in their life.
Life is challenging enough without having trust or doubt regarding that one special person in life.
Des, by her own admission, last night said something to the effect of never having felt loved by someone as much as she has loved them. Think about that? Whether true or not, this is how she feels and it colors so much of who she is.
And going back to Dexter---well, there are plenty of people out there who are greatly loved probably more than the love they give out in return. So ---why not Des? She herself seems to say "why not me?"

Having said that--I can not see a person with her issues being able to turn a blind eye to the guy who says no and then yes. She may take him back, but those internal issues will not be fully laid to rest until she has the guy that truly in her eyes loves her more than she loves him. Internal peace.

[KCCasey]

I've always thought the best relationships are those where he loves her a little bit more than she loves him. That's true for Chris and Drew.

[ImeldaMarcos]

Still yet, I think it takes a courageous person to say...you dumped me, you are leaving and still I can say I love you. Doesn't have to mean you do not have healthy boundaries. I really do not know what I would do...I do not like men who waffle, so it would surely be an issue for me. He would have to 'splain some serious chit. I just wonder what exactly TPTB were whispering in his ear and did they attempt to get him to speak the exact words they got from him. How do you say those words and then sit stunned and upset asking "why didn't you tell me" when she said she loved him. There is a lot we are not seeing. I just have no flipping idea how the hello we get to engaged from here. Cannot wait to see. If it's Chris or Drew...I feel horrible for them.

[nutty1]

I just finished watching. WOW…..it was harder the second time, I actually cried.

ONE VERY IMPORTANT THING I NOTICED!!
When Brooks says that about wishing she loved Drew or Chris, it was in a VO, or sounded very edited. You never saw him saying those words.

[DMBFan]

Saw Chris H this morning on GMA. He was a little too giddy about last night, saying "wasn't that great"? Who takes  such pleasure in seeing other people hurting?

Mike "Booyah!" Fleiss, that's who! (I don't know if you remember this, but right after the Jillian/Ed season was over, US Weekly ran a cover story about Ed's dalliances with other women while the season was shooting and after it was done shooting and he was engaged to Jillian. Fleiss's reaction when asked about was "Booyah!").

This show was an especially horrible track record for how it treats its female leads. The show exploits the dynamic of women being most judgmental of each other in presenting the story of its female lead to its (primarily female) audience, and always has a major storyline during the Bach'ette season where you are led to question the female lead's judgment, worth, whatever. It happens even and perhaps especially to respectable, professional women who agree to be leads on this show. Now it's happened to Desiree, and there's no doubt the judgment is going to rain down hard and fast on her no matter what the outcome of the season was. Now, if the show believes in the lead/F1 relationship, it's possible there will be an attempt at redemption in next week's episode. I don't know if that will happen, because the show has done everything in its power to encourage the audience to question Desiree's eventual decision. The way Fleiss and his minions portray and treat their female leads is reprehensible.

I feel for Desiree and all 3 guys. Drew and Chris were exploited by the bubble just like Brooks was. They fell in "bubble" love, and I hope/think they recovered quickly enough once outside the bubble. If either of them agrees to become the next Bachelor, they've asked for whatever comes, though Fleiss generally treats his male leads better than his female leads. Brooks made a startling and kind of admirable attempt to leave the bubble and try to figure out what was really going on, but likely only because the producers were pushing the right buttons and playing on his every doubt. If he's F1, hopefully he & Desiree will be able to build something in the real world. But he has some serious 'splaining to do to her and those buttons the producers pushed are things he may need to work on. Desiree just wanted to have her obvious F1 but the producers were hellbent on a storyline to spice things up and made da*n sure she had no off-camera time with Brooks. They always make the leads with an obvious F1 pay the price, and have no problem undermining those relationships for the sake of their social experiments.

For Desiree and her F1, if they are solid, their only real chance at redemption will be to build something real outside the show, last a respectable amount of time in the real world (away from the exploitative, manipulative environment inside the Bach/ette bubble), and selectively grant some tabloid exclusives to reshape the public view of their relationship.

  Absolutely f***ing agree!!! Women are the worst critics of each other and I just don't get it.

[SueSt]

Still yet, I think it takes a courageous person to say...you dumped me, you are leaving and still I can say I love you. Doesn't have to mean you do not have healthy boundaries. I really do not know what I would do...I do not like men who waffle, so it would surely be an issue for me. He would have to 'splain some serious chit. I just wonder what exactly TPTB were whispering in his ear and did they attempt to get him to speak the exact words they got from him. How do you say those words and then sit stunned and upset asking "why didn't you tell me" when she said she loved him. There is a lot we are not seeing. I just have no flipping idea how the hello we get to engaged from here. Cannot wait to see. If it's Chris or Drew...I feel horrible for them.

If it's Brooks, I feel horrible for Des....

[Cecilia]

Saw Chris H this morning on GMA. He was a little too giddy about last night, saying "wasn't that great"? Who takes  such pleasure in seeing other people hurting?

Mike "Booyah!" Fleiss, that's who! (I don't know if you remember this, but right after the Jillian/Ed season was over, US Weekly ran a cover story about Ed's dalliances with other women while the season was shooting and after it was done shooting and he was engaged to Jillian. Fleiss's reaction when asked about was "Booyah!").

This show was an especially horrible track record for how it treats its female leads. The show exploits the dynamic of women being most judgmental of each other in presenting the story of its female lead to its (primarily female) audience, and always has a major storyline during the Bach'ette season where you are led to question the female lead's judgment, worth, whatever. It happens even and perhaps especially to respectable, professional women who agree to be leads on this show. Now it's happened to Desiree, and there's no doubt the judgment is going to rain down hard and fast on her no matter what the outcome of the season was. Now, if the show believes in the lead/F1 relationship, it's possible there will be an attempt at redemption in next week's episode. I don't know if that will happen, because the show has done everything in its power to encourage the audience to question Desiree's eventual decision. The way Fleiss and his minions portray and treat their female leads is reprehensible.

I feel for Desiree and all 3 guys. Drew and Chris were exploited by the bubble just like Brooks was. They fell in "bubble" love, and I hope/think they recovered quickly enough once outside the bubble. If either of them agrees to become the next Bachelor, they've asked for whatever comes, though Fleiss generally treats his male leads better than his female leads. Brooks made a startling and kind of admirable attempt to leave the bubble and try to figure out what was really going on, but likely only because the producers were pushing the right buttons and playing on his every doubt. If he's F1, hopefully he & Desiree will be able to build something in the real world. But he has some serious 'splaining to do to her and those buttons the producers pushed are things he may need to work on. Desiree just wanted to have her obvious F1 but the producers were hellbent on a storyline to spice things up and made da*n sure she had no off-camera time with Brooks. They always make the leads with an obvious F1 pay the price, and have no problem undermining those relationships for the sake of their social experiments.

For Desiree and her F1, if they are solid, their only real chance at redemption will be to build something real outside the show, last a respectable amount of time in the real world (away from the exploitative, manipulative environment inside the Bach/ette bubble), and selectively grant some tabloid exclusives to reshape the public view of their relationship.

  Absolutely f***ing agree!!!  Women are the worst critics of each other and I just don't get it.  

YEP. And it is true on this board too. About Des. She's not needy. Just in love and expressive.

[ImeldaMarcos]

Still yet, I think it takes a courageous person to say...you dumped me, you are leaving and still I can say I love you. Doesn't have to mean you do not have healthy boundaries. I really do not know what I would do...I do not like men who waffle, so it would surely be an issue for me. He would have to 'splain some serious chit. I just wonder what exactly TPTB were whispering in his ear and did they attempt to get him to speak the exact words they got from him. How do you say those words and then sit stunned and upset asking "why didn't you tell me" when she said she loved him. There is a lot we are not seeing. I just have no flipping idea how the hello we get to engaged from here. Cannot wait to see. If it's Chris or Drew...I feel horrible for them.

If it's Brooks, I feel horrible for Des....

I hear you. We just do not know for sure everything that is going on. Some things said were VO's and we do not know what TPTB were saying to him. It's up to Des. I probably would not be able to get past it, but I have my own history, filter and issues that I relate through.

[SafronSahara]

I'm probably rehashing a lot that has been echoed here, but here's my 2 cents anyway. Drew is gone sooner than later because Desiree is too much woman for him. I laughed so hard when Stef from Afterbuzz TV noticed that when he and Des were kissing in the rain they stood there with umbrellas. Effin umbrellas! Are you serious? Drew has no edge whatsoever.

I'll always see Chris as the default if he's chosen.

The most painful parts of the break up were the little nuggets Desiree admitted to such as only wanting to be on dates with Brooks and that she missed him every time they were apart. Even in that moment of feeling like the rug was pulled up from under her, Desiree was still head over heels for him. Ugh!

I just hope that Desiree stays true to what she said at the end of the episode.

[Beeleever]

My thoughts on last night's show...

This was the most heartfelt and real conversation this show has ever produced.

There is constant manipulation going on behind the scenes. What in the world caused Brooks to say the things he said and then react the way he did (with a little smile on his face) when Des told him she loves him? It was a total conundrum.

What is he supposed to do at that point, tell her that if she really loves him, then he's still in???

I feel sorry for everyone involved in this whole fiasco.

Chris and Drew are great guys and don't deserve this. How incredibly betrayed they must feel to watch her say how conflicted she was because she didn't want to share her heart or date anyone but Brooks. Just brutal.

Des doesn't deserve to be treated like this. Brooks doesn't deserve to be manipulated like this.

I can't find a single scenario that would be plausible. There is just no good way to end this, other than for her to walk away alone. And according to the spoilers, that's not what happens.

[DMBFan]

Saw Chris H this morning on GMA. He was a little too giddy about last night, saying "wasn't that great"? Who takes  such pleasure in seeing other people hurting?

Mike "Booyah!" Fleiss, that's who! (I don't know if you remember this, but right after the Jillian/Ed season was over, US Weekly ran a cover story about Ed's dalliances with other women while the season was shooting and after it was done shooting and he was engaged to Jillian. Fleiss's reaction when asked about was "Booyah!").

This show was an especially horrible track record for how it treats its female leads. The show exploits the dynamic of women being most judgmental of each other in presenting the story of its female lead to its (primarily female) audience, and always has a major storyline during the Bach'ette season where you are led to question the female lead's judgment, worth, whatever. It happens even and perhaps especially to respectable, professional women who agree to be leads on this show. Now it's happened to Desiree, and there's no doubt the judgment is going to rain down hard and fast on her no matter what the outcome of the season was. Now, if the show believes in the lead/F1 relationship, it's possible there will be an attempt at redemption in next week's episode. I don't know if that will happen, because the show has done everything in its power to encourage the audience to question Desiree's eventual decision. The way Fleiss and his minions portray and treat their female leads is reprehensible.

I feel for Desiree and all 3 guys. Drew and Chris were exploited by the bubble just like Brooks was. They fell in "bubble" love, and I hope/think they recovered quickly enough once outside the bubble. If either of them agrees to become the next Bachelor, they've asked for whatever comes, though Fleiss generally treats his male leads better than his female leads. Brooks made a startling and kind of admirable attempt to leave the bubble and try to figure out what was really going on, but likely only because the producers were pushing the right buttons and playing on his every doubt. If he's F1, hopefully he & Desiree will be able to build something in the real world. But he has some serious 'splaining to do to her and those buttons the producers pushed are things he may need to work on. Desiree just wanted to have her obvious F1 but the producers were hellbent on a storyline to spice things up and made da*n sure she had no off-camera time with Brooks. They always make the leads with an obvious F1 pay the price, and have no problem undermining those relationships for the sake of their social experiments.

For Desiree and her F1, if they are solid, their only real chance at redemption will be to build something real outside the show, last a respectable amount of time in the real world (away from the exploitative, manipulative environment inside the Bach/ette bubble), and selectively grant some tabloid exclusives to reshape the public view of their relationship.

  Absolutely f***ing agree!!!  Women are the worst critics of each other and I just don't get it.  

YEP. And it is true on this board too.  About Des.  She's not needy. Just in love and expressive.

I've learned my lesson to get really invested in a couple (even though I broke that rule for JP & Ashley), and I'm not invested in the outcome next week at all. But I've been feeling increasingly more uncomfortable reading some of the posts on here lately but I couldn't quite put a finger on it. But it's the obvious misogyny these producers are directing towards their female leads and then reading posts on here condemning Des for her choices. We don't have to live her life, she does, so whether she walks away alone (my personal choice), picks Brooks, or decides to get engaged to Chris or Drew, then she made the right choice for her at that time and I can't condemn her for that. Especially on a reality tv show where she has contract obligations to fulfill. Its basically a job.

[SouthernMomOf4]

I actually feel really sorry for Des right now. There is no right choice for her.

If she chooses Drew or Chris, she is desperate and needy.

If she chooses Brooks, she is desperate and needy.

If she walks away alone - what is wrong with her?

She will be vilified on the boards no matter what she does. Sad but true.

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