Re: The Final One (F1) - Bachelorette 9 - Spoilers - Thread #4

[Chacharo]

I appreciate your response. I guess what I am trying to say is that each of these guys has to go through this process in their own way. It's not as though one way is better than another. But I have been reading many comments to the effect that Brooks is being real, has integrity, refreshing as you said, honest, whatever.  So my question is does that mean that Chris or Drew are in any way not being real, lacking integrity or not refreshing? Why can't their reactions and feelings be just as real?

Some of us feel that Brooks holding back and having so many doubts does not portend well for a possible long term relationship with Des.  If it's this complicated and difficult in the beginning, then how will they survive the transition to real life? That transition has derailed most of these relationships in the past.  Some here believe that this is a pattern with Des that is now repeating itself yet again. She falls for the wrong guys, always does the chasing, etc.  

Finally what I want to say is that maybe we don't need to qualify the way these guys are handling themselves.  I believe that Chris and Drew are completely sincere in their professions of love for Des. The mere fact that they did not have to agonize, doubt and struggle to get there does not in and of itself, mean that their feelings are less worthy.

I think that Brooks' uncertainty is 80% crafted by the show and 20% self-inflicted. On their first date, Brooks says at the end, "I'm stoked" about the future. By Munich, he's telling her that he appreciates any time that he has with her. In Spain, he says that he's so happy with the way things are going. On their date in Portugal, he affirms her that "it is working" when she questions if they would work in the real world. When they're leaving the park on his HTD, he says that he and Des are on the same page. He talks to her and to his family about "their relationship." The only thing that I've heard Brooks say to Des about any hesitancy where the words actually came out of his mouth were that he wished he had the time to explore his feelings. By the end of their date, he's telling us that he doesn't want her to go, that he wants her to stay, and he talks about their future again.

I write all of that not to say that Brooks is definitely the F1 by edit; rather, TPTB have crafted the storyline of him being super behind on his feelings and that contradicts the things he's said where you actually see his mouth uttering the words, not VOs, not PIs. When Brooks leaves, I imagine it's that he just isn't ready to propose to her without more time. Brooks, it appears, is moving at real-life not Bubble speed whereas Drew and Chris have been persuaded to profess love as a stark contrast to Brooks' pace. CH keeps holding that juxtaposition in front of Des' face. That's producer-driven for sure. "Look at these guys who are in love with you."

I still think that there's room for either Chris or Drew to take this thing if the "shocking news" isn't that he's not ready to propose and more along the lines of that she isn't what he wants. I don't think it's the latter since he's said so much to date about the things he loves about her.

So, yes, I'm still very much thinking it's anyone's game depending on the way that Des deals with losing Brooks...

Two of my favorite posters!  I hope I edited these post correctly because they express most of what I think too.  So, I'm just going to agree with both of you since I'm not that good at expressing myself on message boards.  

I would like to add - as far as Veg's comment on the 80/20 of Brook's uncertainty, I think you are probably spot on.  It could be more like 90/10.  As many of you know from following this show and spoiler message boards for years, those producers are in the contestants ears constantly.  In fact, they "produce" much of the drama of the show.  I'm sure that while they are making both Drew and Chris feel extremely confident in their chances of winning Des' heart, they are messing with Brook's mind by pushing his doubts to the extreme.  Like my friend Kasha said - "putty meet hand."   

While I watch the show for entertainment, I gotta say that these message boards are pure entertainment on another level.  All of y'all give me reason to laugh out loud whenever I visit.  Once in awhile I come across a post that is thought provoking and makes me think seriously about what I'm watching.  These two stand out today as I read and giggle.

ETA: Regarding Des' chance of finding long-term love on this show or anywhere else. I think Des has problems developing relationships with men. As others have stated, including Des herself, she falls for the wrong people. Ones who can't commit, won't commit, or can't love her at the level she wants/needs. Whoever she ends up with, I'm going to predict it won't last outside of the bach bubble. Not trying to bash Des here, that's just my opinion of her "journey."

[Spoil Me Again]

Maybe Brooks is the only one who understands the difference between love and infatuation.

1.  

2.  

I think Brooks is trying to figure out whether what he feels for Des is truly real and not due to the environment they're in and thats not really anything people should condemn him for.

Kinda refreshing to see someone really think about what it all means ... to be thinking what the hell happens when cameras switch off and real life intrudes

[nannymargie]

I am going to comment about Brooks talking to his mom and sister about his feelings.  As most of us think Brooks is laid back and a thinker.  I am thinking that this process is moving faster than he could imagine and probably never thought he would have gotten this far.  Since being in the bubble this is his only chance to talk to anyone not connected to the show. So I can totally understand that he wanted feed back from them because this is a big decision.  I am sure Drew and Chris may have talked to their parents as well but we were not shown that because that does not fit the story line.

[nutty1]

I personally would be more concerned if one of the guys didn't care at all what his family thought!

[nannymargie]

I personally would be more concerned if one of the guys didn't care at all what his family thought!

So true, and since family means a lot to him, I think he will make him a wonderful husband and father.

[SueSt]

I am going to comment about Brooks talking to his mom and sister about his feelings.  As most of us think Brooks is laid back and a thinker.  I am thinking that this process is moving faster than he could imagine and probably never thought he would have gotten this far.  Since being in the bubble this is his only chance to talk to anyone not connected to the show. So I can totally understand that he wanted feed back from them because this is a big decision.  I am sure Drew and Chris may have talked to their parents as well but we were not shown that because that does not fit the story line.

I'm pretty sure we saw Chris/Dad, Drew/Dad talking about the possibility to proposing, getting their blessing, etc..; different from Brooks, of course, since he is less sure.

[albean99]

Great posts, Vege & NNY!  

IA about Brooks, Vege, and really wouldn't have any problem with him have doubts or not moving so fast if he didn't leave Des. No matter who's in his ear and I'm sure they were, it gives me questions about him in a relationship. Will he be quick to walk when things don't go smoothly? Hopefully that doesn't translate to a real life relationship but right now I have no idea.  

[Rolly]

 I am heading out of town on vacation and am gonna miss the conversation on this board! The detective work is incredible and fun to watch. The people posting are smart, thoughtful and usually respectful of others and their views. Just reading about the different perspectives about relationships, falling in love, family dynamics, loyalty, marriage,....the list goes on, is incredibly interesting...even the posters I don't agree with!  

Let me just say I personally would never want to go on this show. People expect too much. Who would ever know exactly what they were getting into and we are talking about one of the biggest commitments any of us will ever make. I think TPTB are manipulators and not nice people. It would be interesting if ATFR Des, Brooks, Chris and Drew could tell us honestly what they think of the experience. Never happen I know. 

Have a good week and fasten your seat belts...it's gonna be one rough ride!!! :shocked!: 

[nannymargie]

 I am heading out of town on vacation and am gonna miss the conversation on this board! The detective work is incredible and fun to watch. The people posting are smart, thoughtful and usually respectful of others and their views. Just reading about the different perspectives about relationships, falling in love, family dynamics, loyalty, marriage,....the list goes on, is incredibly interesting...even the posters I don't agree with!  

Let me just say I personally would never want to go on this show. People expect too much. Who would ever know exactly what they were getting into and we are talking about one of the biggest commitments any of us will ever make. I think TPTB are manipulators and not nice people. It would be interesting if ATFR Des, Brooks, Chris and Drew could tell us honestly what they think of the experience. Never happen I know. 

Have a good week and fasten your seat belts...it's gonna be one rough ride!!! :shocked!: 

Enjoy your vacation Rolly. We will hold down the fort here till you get back.

[Piper61]

 I am heading out of town on vacation and am gonna miss the conversation on this board! The detective work is incredible and fun to watch. The people posting are smart, thoughtful and usually respectful of others and their views. Just reading about the different perspectives about relationships, falling in love, family dynamics, loyalty, marriage,....the list goes on, is incredibly interesting...even the posters I don't agree with!  

Let me just say I personally would never want to go on this show. People expect too much. Who would ever know exactly what they were getting into and we are talking about one of the biggest commitments any of us will ever make. I think TPTB are manipulators and not nice people. It would be interesting if ATFR Des, Brooks, Chris and Drew could tell us honestly what they think of the experience. Never happen I know. 

Have a good week and fasten your seat belts...it's gonna be one rough ride!!! :shocked!: 

:WAVEY:  Have a wonderful vacation, Rolly!

[latergator]

 I am heading out of town on vacation and am gonna miss the conversation on this board! The detective work is incredible and fun to watch. The people posting are smart, thoughtful and usually respectful of others and their views. Just reading about the different perspectives about relationships, falling in love, family dynamics, loyalty, marriage,....the list goes on, is incredibly interesting...even the posters I don't agree with!  

Let me just say I personally would never want to go on this show. People expect too much. Who would ever know exactly what they were getting into and we are talking about one of the biggest commitments any of us will ever make. I think TPTB are manipulators and not nice people. It would be interesting if ATFR Des, Brooks, Chris and Drew could tell us honestly what they think of the experience. Never happen I know. 

Have a good week and fasten your seat belts...it's gonna be one rough ride!!! :shocked!: 

Rolly, have a great time on your vacation... will you be back for part deux on the 5th? we will all be throwing up from the roller coaster ride by that time so bring a barf bag with you.  

[Piper61]

 I am heading out of town on vacation and am gonna miss the conversation on this board! The detective work is incredible and fun to watch. The people posting are smart, thoughtful and usually respectful of others and their views. Just reading about the different perspectives about relationships, falling in love, family dynamics, loyalty, marriage,....the list goes on, is incredibly interesting...even the posters I don't agree with!  

Let me just say I personally would never want to go on this show. People expect too much. Who would ever know exactly what they were getting into and we are talking about one of the biggest commitments any of us will ever make. I think TPTB are manipulators and not nice people. It would be interesting if ATFR Des, Brooks, Chris and Drew could tell us honestly what they think of the experience. Never happen I know. 

Have a good week and fasten your seat belts...it's gonna be one rough ride!!! :shocked!: 

Rolly, have a great time on your vacation... will you be back for part deux on the 5th? we will all be throwing up from the roller coaster ride by that time so bring a barf bag with you.  

  After hearing about the tragic death of the woman at Six Flags over Texas in Dallas last weekend, I have vowed to never go on a roller coaster again...yet here I am waiting to take that last harrowing dip/final turn on this Bachelorette roller coaster ride. Barf bags and kleenex will be necessities.

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