Kaitlyn Bristowe - Bachelorette 11 - #5 - Discussion

Seriously?!  He can find time to watch and like Dodo videos of dogs on Twitter, but he can't find time to like her posts???  He had time to do that before she stopped wearing the ring, but not now.  I just read a quote that made me think of them: "The only people who get upset when you set boundaries are the ones who benefited from you not having any."  This guy has been using her for a very long time and is pissed that she started to stand up to him.  I don't know what's behind this podcast, but it makes me so sad.  I know she didn't take that ring off without giving it a lot of thought, so what gives???  She's with her family.  Are they pushing her to stay with him?  It doesn't make sense to me.  If I saw my kid being this unhappy at 33 years old, I'd tell her to run like the wind.

I think she’s putting up with this because Kaitlyn is a doormat essentially. I remember when the show ended she said her relationship with Shawn taught her that she should never cross the ocean for someone that won’t jump a puddle for her, referring to her ex, where she literally crossed an ocean to be with him in Europe. I think Shawn needs to teach her that lesson again because it didn’t seem to stick

I just listened to the podcast and realized she made one little slip. She said that some people put careers first, but she puts relationships first. Enough said.

I think there is so much into this that we don't know. I personally think shawn gives her some reassurance behind the scenes not on social media. Kaitlyn was always the one more open and i have a hard time believing she is saying all of this when shawn treats her very unfairly.
This whole situation reminds me so much of jillian/justin dynamic before sweet Leo but they got through it and they seem really happy now.

But J&J aren’t married, the ring was a consolation prize imo and she’s just settled. So yeah, it reminds me of them too, unfortunately. Imo.

@Alanna They are not married yet but she mentioned they set the date, so i guess she settled but the guy also matured and gave her what she wanted the most which is babies.

crunchette wrote:Seriously?!  He can find time to watch and like Dodo videos of dogs on Twitter, but he can't find time to like her posts???  He had time to do that before she stopped wearing the ring, but not now.  I just read a quote that made me think of them: "The only people who get upset when you set boundaries are the ones who benefited from you not having any."  This guy has been using her for a very long time and is pissed that she started to stand up to him.  I don't know what's behind this podcast, but it makes me so sad.  I know she didn't take that ring off without giving it a lot of thought, so what gives???  She's with her family.  Are they pushing her to stay with him?  It doesn't make sense to me.  If I saw my kid being this unhappy at 33 years old, I'd tell her to run like the wind.

Yep. Been there, done that after witnessing first hand a very similar situation go on and on.
IMO the thing is you have to weigh the degree of happiness or unhappinesss. If you are that miserable with the one you love is it worth staying or is it worth taking the risk of moving on and being alone.
IMO, it’s not so easy in the dating pool no matter who you are and it is a reality, that you may end up being alone. It’s not easy watching others fall in love, marry and have children when you’re still single.
IMO it’s better being happy and single than being miserable with someone.
Only Kaitlyn can answer this herself.

@Kashathediva SPOT ON. Kaitlyn mentioned herself that they are going through hurdle in their relationship but it doesn't stay like that. I don't think she is miserable, however she is probably unhappy right now but its because they are in difficult times of their relationship. I actually really admire her honestly and the fact that she wants to fight for their relationship instead of giving up. They have been together for 3 years and this is the first time we see them having a little bit of rough time, it might make them stronger or they decide to break up... time will tell

crunchette wrote:I just listened to the podcast and realized she made one little slip.  She said that some people put careers first, but she puts relationships first.  Enough said.

Ouch.

But, seriously, where IS Shawn? Like, she's having to deal with all these media outlets calling about a breakup and then she's having to do this podcast to defend their relationship and scream "we're both 110% committed", yet Shawn is nowhere to be seen to show this supposed solidarity. Like, he couldn't take 5 minutes to call in to the podcast? Or tweet something? Or put a pic on the old 'gram? 

I get that sometimes you have to prioritize your career over your relationship, but man. Take a day off to try and save this relationship you almost lost your mind to have. 

IMO.

Mozhi1 wrote:I think there is so much into this that we don't know. I personally think shawn gives her some reassurance behind the scenes not on social media. Kaitlyn was always the one more open and i have a hard time believing she is saying all of this when shawn treats her very unfairly.
This whole situation reminds me so much of jillian/justin dynamic before sweet Leo but they got through it and they seem really happy now.

(@Mozhi1 - I just typed all of this out and realized it probably sounds like I'm yelling at you, so I apologize.  I'm really raging at Shawn.)

IMO, the problem is that Kait's love language is "words of affirmation," which makes her more likely to fall for Shawn's empty promises rather than seeing if he backs it up with actions.  During her podcast with Jenna Kutcher, Kait said she gave the ring back to Shawn and he had 6 months to propose because she felt that 3 years was long enough to know someone.  Now, in her latest podcast, she's backing down from that ultimatum.  I just want to shake her.  If he proposed to her at any time during the last 3 years, she would have said yes.  HE is the one dragging his feet and now he's using the gym as an excuse...and Kait's buying it even though he led another woman on for 6+ years.  As for Justin and Jillian, I think he was significantly younger than her and needed to grow up.  Shawn is 31.  Enough already.  Be a man, be honest, and let the girl move on.

^^Oops. I think I made a mistake. He's 32, right? Even worse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lmao @crunchette, 5/5 for style and 6/5 for passion!! Kait needs you!!