Kaitlyn Bristowe - Bachelorette 11 - #5 - Discussion

I do think it’s a chicken and egg scenario as if the other couples had gotten married early on too, they may have stayed together through the rough patches instead of breaking up imo.

Or maybe the ones who have gotten married would have gotten married anyway because it’s a different set of people: ones who prioritize getting married versus fostering their sm influencer careers or whatnot.

It’s too hard to tell really imo. It’s like how Dumbledore told Harry no one can predict the future because it’s so complicated and there are so many outcomes depending on our actions. Smart man, that guy  

I do think someone is bound to break the streak though because it doesn’t make much sense- real people, out in the wild, get married all the time after more than 24 or 18 months  It’s crazy to even speculate on this.

@Alanna totally

I think that’s true. Someone of these couples that got married so quickly due to a televised wedding have probably (IMO) gone through difficult times, but force themselves to get through it because they’re married. Who knows. Same goes for couples that are not married from this franchise. Maybe they stick it out longer because of the perks. None of us really know.

Realistically, and I have always said this, most couples that meet in real life usually date anywhere from 1-3 years before even getting engaged. Then there is sometimes another year in between as they plan the wedding. Hopefully at least one of these three couples can break the cycle. Starting to sadly rule out Kaitlyn and Shawn though

My point isn’t that kaitlyn is an alcoholic or abusive it’s that we don’t actually know what really goes on behind the “closed doors” of SM. There may be behaviors of Kaitlynn that Shawn is trying to protect from the public eye that he wants her to work on before he’s willing to get married. It certainly could be that Shawn is just a commitment phoeb or using the fame for his benefit but could be so much more to it as well.

I feel like you can kind of justify every couple (Sean/Cat only got married because of sex! Arie/Lauren only got married because they're trying to prove something to the world! Jade/Tanner only got married for Janner Manor!), but at the end of the day, I think these people just made marriage and creating a family a priority in their lives. They prioritized it over their businesses and TV weddings and their own TV shows and all that. 

As far as breaking the trend goes...I'm sure it will happen, but I still stand by my "if you're not planning a wedding at the 2 year mark, it's not looking pretty". I'll give Jojo/Jordan 3 years because they're relatively young (although it's funny, because Ash, Des, Molly, and Cat were all younger than Jojo but I feel like age works differently now), IMO.

I don’t think time works any differently personally and I don’t think JoJo is that young, she just doesn’t want to get married right now imo. But I think they’re bound by similar families (she seemed to be raised to think Ben/Matt are perfect men and Jordan is very similar to them imo), enmeshing their careers (having a pretty wife looks better for a good ole American pasttime like football versus endless right swiping adventures) and in general seeming like a good personality fit imo. 

I would guess that if they’re able to survive another tough fall season that’s coming up, they’ll probs get married imo. Or not. Maybe more tv show blahblah BS will come around  

I’m super fascinated what’s going to happen with Shawn and Kaitlyn though. It’ll be so tough for them (her, really) to walk away at this point imo. And is he really going to go a full 4 weeks without making any effort to see her? Cannot get over what a hero he turned out to be imo.

What I see as a major red flag for Kaitlyn and Shawn is a weakness in their conflict resolution skills as a couple. It wouldn’t been seen by me at all if what looks like dirty laundry wasn’t being hung in the front yard. I do feel that after 3 years of living together any couple (dating, engaged, or married) develops a pattern of dealing with differences as they arise. Regardless of what that difference or difference of opinion may be, a couple benefits from both parties getting to a point where neither feels it’s a competition with a winner or a loser. JMO but I believe a healthy partnership depends on a big dose of win-win.
That being said, some couples thrive even if they argue or disagree a lot ... forever. Each to their own to choose the material they build their nest with.

@Alanna Haha, I don't either! I just feel like I keep hearing people say that J/J are super young and I just don't remember anyone saying that about the other girls (or guys, as Ryan, Chris, and Sean were all <30 at their weddings) back in the day.

 I agree that they probably have a good shot because they seem to get along, come from the same socioeconomic background, and are really beneficial for each others' careers. I make it sound so romantic! And I think Rachel is 33 and isn't going to walk away from the guy who is ready to marry her yesterday and give her babies, unless something big happens. The only wild card for me really is K/S, but I think/hope she'll walk if she doesn't get a re-proposal within a year. 

IMO.

notarose wrote:What I see as a major red flag for Kaitlyn and Shawn is a weakness in their conflict resolution skills as a couple. It wouldn’t been seen by me at all if what looks like dirty laundry wasn’t being hung in the front yard. I do feel that after 3 years of living together any couple (dating, engaged, or married) develops a pattern of dealing with differences as they arise. Regardless of what that difference or difference of opinion may be, a couple benefits from both parties getting to a point where neither feels it’s a competition with a winner or a loser. JMO but I believe a healthy partnership depends on a big dose of win-win.
That being said, some couples thrive even if they argue or disagree a lot ... forever. Each to their own to choose the material they build their nest with.

I agree with you. Marriage/relationships isn’t like one big thing that you do and then it’s all over and now you’re married, peace homeskillets! It’s a series of daily little decisions that makeup the sum. And at some point, there’s been a lot of poor decision making (busy busy busyness) that has led us here imo. Once the Ironman crap started where he had no time for her, I think is when the bad parts started to outweigh the healthy choices.

And @Aria, I’m sure I’m not a romantic either because I see J&J, RnB and K&S exactly the same way as you. Life is much more practical than obsessive love like Shawn’s anyway.

I just think the 18 month thing is more coincidence than any reflection of the relationships. For a lot of these couples there were numerous factors playing into the decision to get married so quickly and various incentives. I think also the reason I'm not a huge believer is that I also watch other franchises and the first Australian bachelor just got married like a month ago to his F1 after 5 years and my faves in my avatar have been together about as long as Kait & Shawn, they have a house, 2 kids, a dog, and won't get married until some point this year. TV weddings have definitely skewed the statistics imo. I think Rachel & Bryan will get married next year for sure because of their age and I think Jojo & Jordan will get married once they realize that being married is better for their brand than simply being engaged because they definitely want an HGTV gig (not to diss their relationship but I think that's what will get their asses in gear about wedding planning).

All jmo.

I feel like there are certain cultural differences though, because in the US, almost every single successful couple got engaged on the show (Jason/Molly are the one exception) whereas on the Australian show, the only couple to get engaged on the show broke up 12 seconds later. They just seem to wait much longer to get engaged and then get married, so it seems to fit with their trends. I'm sure the TV wedding skewed things, but not as much as I think people are thinking. I don't think it would have added more than a year, just looking at couples like Holly/Blake, Des/Chris, Arie/Lauren, Chris/Peyton, Deanna/Stephen, Elizabeth/Tye, and Jesse/Ann who all did in less than 27 months. And most were before the era of sponsorships and getting loads of money for exclusives and networks offering reality TV shows to plan your wedding and so forth. If anything, it should be easier and cheaper now! IMO.

Didn’t Jordan just turn 30? That’s not incredibly young. JoJo is pushing 30 now, too. Also, all those other couples were only like dating and getting married like 3-7 years ago, so naw, not much has changed. They are all part of the same generation with the same cultural factors influencing them.  Who knows about J&J, but you just never know. Last year this time, everyone was like “K&S are soulmates in a way no other couple from this franchise is,” yet here we are. Point being, we have no clue what is going on behind closed doors. K&S also seemed like good friends in much the same way Sean and Catherine are, so there the “pick the person who is your BFF” theory.

Umm s’cuse me @sosleepy, they ARE soulmates the likes of which this franchise has never seen before and never will again, sometimes it just doesn’t work out, okay?! *whimper whimper*   

As for J&J, they have a tightly controlled image and brand they’re building so you’re right, we’d have no idea if there’s anything interesting going on behind closed doors. I agree with @ReneeM though, once they realize the Waco Magnolia empire wasn’t built on, “no interest in getting married but we’re SUPER DUPER SUPER happy, don’t y’all panic,” they’ll readjust their priorities.