Kaitlyn Bristowe - Bachelorette 11 - #5 - Discussion

Re the buzz before break up, that's a definite indicator, that the couple will break up. When the couple changes their tune, and behaviour on social media, the amount of time they spend together etc, fans do notice. For Lauren and Ben it was clear, even though at the time I refused to see it and hid my head in the sand. Now that is happening with Shawn and Kaitlyn. He CLEARLY does not want to marry her. He's saying it with his actions and words. I don't know if he doesn't want to get married in general, or if it's her he doesn't want to marry, but it's clear as day to outsiders looking in. To HER it's not as clear, though, because she's in the relationship, she hears his empty promises and excuses, and she buys them. They make sense to her in the moment, and she wants to believe he also does want to get married. I think she will eventually end it, maybe the time away will open her eyes, and she will walk away. I think she will find someone who actually will want to marry her fairly soon, and will move on. I give them 6 months, and then they're done, imho.

Of course there are exceptions to every trend and the remaining two couples may actually be those exceptions, it’s just the trend that has been noted so far. I can see compelling reasons people can make for both J&J and RnB to be the ones that make it down the aisle still. Rachel has age nudging her along which is a huge motivator for women imo, and Jo^3 have a lot of reasons to bond them and keep them together that aren’t strictly based on tru wuv imo.. So these two couples may actually break the curse. We’ll see. But I don’t think it makes someone unreasonable to notice patterns and just say what they’re seeing and hearing. I may like all 3 couples but that doesn’t mean I can’t acknowledge what’s going on personally.

I don’t have much hope for Kaitlyn and Shawn surviving though, let alone getting married. Shawn’s brain seems to be addled or something that he cannot grasp that he needs to make some compromise if he wants to keep her. He probably doesn’t want to keep her though and has already decided, if subconsciously only. And from that, there’s no coming back imo.

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Yeah, of course there are exceptions to every rule. And at some point, some Bachelor couple may just break that 18/20 month trend. And who knows? Maybe it will be RnB or Jo^3, or both. I was just pointing out facts, thus far. That’s all. It’s been 17 years, people. There has never been an exception. Even the spin off couples and the adjacent couples follow that 18 month trend. I don’t think it’s all about the tv wedding either, though I agree that could come into play in certain circumstances. I just think Bachelor World moves fast. People are forced to think about commitment and issues quickly, in ways you might hold off if you just meet someone on Tinder or whatever.  

Also, once you commit with that wedding, you have committed. Like I’m sure some of our marrieds here hit rough patches, but they are already in that marriage, so there is potentially more to fight for and they fight harder, behind the scenes. Like who’s to say if Kaitlyn and Shawn hadn’t actually took that plunge and truly committed a year or two ago... they’d still be in a rough patch, maybe with the gym... but there would be more to fight for here. Idk. I’m just rambling. But it’s kinda the chicken and the egg argument.

@sosleepy, you took the words right outta my fingertips/head  I was just speculating (to myself, on the train, bc normal & healthy) that if they were married by now, Shawn wouldn’t have this stuff of “it’s only been 3 years.” He’d be working to save and rescue his marriage if things were hard right now, but to work to save a relationship with his gf?? Ehhh. All imo.

sosleepy wrote:Yeah, of course there are exceptions to every rule. And at some point, some Bachelor couple may just break that 18/20 month trend. And who knows? Maybe it will be RnB or Jo^3, or both. I was just pointing out facts, thus far. That’s all. It’s been 17 years, people. There has never been an exception. Even the spin off couples and the adjacent couples follow that 18 month trend. I don’t think it’s all about the tv wedding either, though I agree that could come into play in certain circumstances. I just think Bachelor World moves fast. People are forced to think about commitment and issues quickly, in ways you might hold off if you just meet someone on Tinder or whatever.  

Also, once you commit with that wedding, you have committed. Like I’m sure some of our marrieds here hit rough patches, but they are already in that marriage, so there is potentially more to fight for and they fight harder, behind the scenes. Like who’s to say if Kaitlyn and Shawn hadn’t actually took that plunge and truly committed a year or two ago... they’d still be in a rough patch, maybe with the gym... but there would be more to fight for here. Idk. I’m just rambling. But it’s kinda the chicken and the egg argument.

@sosleepy  I agree with most of what you say except for one point - these couples quickly become about the financial opportunity posed by having fans. Instagram and building their base becomes paramount as proven by the frequency of staged poses, Insta stories, blogs, personal appearances, following the Bach crowd, etc. so I will say this unequivocally because it is my opinion; Had any or all three of these couples been offered a big, beautiful, grand, TELEVISED, individual wedding - all three would be married right now. Further, the longer Kaitlyn and Shawn are not offered a televised wedding and are not profiting from their alliance, the more tenuous becomes their bond. Jojo and Jordan are least impacted but, not exempt. Rachel and Bryan are temporarily lost. JMO

Does anyone remember Byron and Mary? They dated forever and people speculated when they were going to marry and then the news finally came out that Mary had an issue with alcohol and had been abusive to Byron. He kept it hidden for various reasons. Not saying the same is going on with Shawn and Kaitlyn but there might be a reason Shawn is still putting on the brakes and he might be protecting Kaitlyn through it all thus taking a lot of the heat himself. Kaitlyn has shown some red-flag behaviors that he might have asked her to clean up or get help with and until then no marriage. Who really knows but I do hope they work it out.

IMHO I don’t think there’s a thing wrong with Kaitlyn other than Shawn just not wanting to get married and maybe just being in bubble love this whole time.

If she’s really an alcoholic and is struggling, I can think of 1 or 2 or 10,000 other ways a loving partner could support her imo.

Also, I just stalked his gym partner’s insta, Jordan, and he has a girlfriend or wife that he clearly is still making time for, even taking a long weekend away for her bday. Gosh darn. Once again, knock me over with a feather, but seems mere mortals are able to accomplish so many obscene and amazing feats that are just not possible for Bach nation couple.

I just don't buy that Kaitlyn is secretely an alcoholic or an abuser or whatever, because they're not using protection and basically trying to have a baby within the next year or so. So...she's unsuitable to be Mrs. Booth, but a-okay to take care of another human being? It just doesn't make sense to me (and if that is the truth, Shawn is a bigger idiot than I thought). 

And, in terms of the 20 month rule, I think people use "rule" jokingly...but it is pretty interesting that it holds true for 16 years, all 5 Bachelor/ette Couples, all 3 BIP/BP couples, and likely will hold true for Arie/Lauren. Even the 4 Bachelor-franchise couples, who just met through the show and didn't have any TV wedding offers, got married within 27 months. And all 3 couples that had been together longer, in the past, broke up. I think it's a new world we're living in right now, as I think a lot more couples are staying together longer and I think that's partly because of social media and how much attention and $$$ they get when they stay together. Like, we currently have, what, 6 or 7 engaged couples right now? That's just not something that used to happen. I don't know if that's going to change the 20 month "rule" or if it's even more telling that even with all the potential $$$/followers/attention they get from a wedding, couples still haven't pulled the trigger. We'll see! 

IMO.

@Chgohighlife I think this is a very valid point to make since some statistics are being rolled out and one that I have made previously as well.

There are seven couples that are married from this show that have formed as a couple from The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and BIP. Six out of the seven were offered televised weddings and accepted it. They had someone plan the wedding, it was all paid for, it was televised, and they even received a payment just for getting married. In this regard, Des and Chris are the anomaly. IMO, there is no freaking way a couple, such as Jade and Tanner, would have gotten married within seven months if they weren’t offered a televised wedding.

On another note and back to Kaitlyn and Shawn. I do feel for her. I wouldn’t be okay either if I was pushing my mid 30’s, was with someone for three years, and there was no sign of a wedding happening any time soon. Tough situation, especially since there’s genuine love there. All JMO

Not a big deal, but it is actually 8! People always forget about Blake/Holly who met and got engaged on BP. So it's 2 couples out of 8 that still follow that trend without a TV wedding. And, most likely, soon to be 3 out of 9 couples that follow that trend without a TV wedding. 

I don't think Jade/Tanner would have been married within 7 months, but I do think they would have been married within that 20 month period without a TV wedding. I mean, it's only been three years since they got together and they already are married, have a house, a kid,  and are already trying for their second. They're clearly moving at a very different speed than our 'ette couples. 

And who knows - maybe they would have still done it in 7 months. After all, Holly/Blake got married 9 months later and Arie/Lauren plan to 9 months after their engagement, so it's certainly possible! With sponsorships and magazines playing for exclusives, it's really not that hard IMO!

@Aria well yeah, they got married within seven months of their relationship. Usually when people get married they continuously take the next step in their relationship, which typically includes buying a home, having children, etc. I didn’t expect them to take a year or two to decide if this relationship was going to work now that they were married.

Arie and Lauren are six months away from their wedding, which is one that I personally think was probably planned so quickly for other reasons besides them wanting to be together forever, but that’s for another thread.