Kaitlyn Bristowe - Bachelorette 11 - #5 - Discussion

Aria wrote:@Alanna I was totally thinking of Kevin/Kaitlyn as a possibility when he did her podcast! I think he's single-ish.

@GuardianAngel I think his hesitations just come from his parents' divorce, from what he's said in old podcasts. He's only had one other relationship and it lasted 7 years. Wouldn't be surprised if it ended because Shawn wouldn't marry her either. I really don't think it has anything to do with Kaitlyn, as he always expresses shock and confusion in interviews when he hears that people think they're having issues. I'm with you, though, I'd totally leave after 2 years if a guy still hadn't proposed (or re-proposed!). Guess the whole begging/ultimatum/fake breakup thing worked for Jilly and Melissa though, so maybe there's hope! IMO.

mindless wrote:Shawn had a 7-year relationship that went nowhere before the show, so at this point I tend to think that's just what he does. I'm no fan of Kaitlyn, but she didn't hide who she was on the show and Shawn was loving it then, so I'm not sure I can blame her for his loss of interest. JMO.

lipsis wrote:IMO a man can't drag a woman along for any amount of time if the woman doesn't let herself be drugged (dragged?). You get my point.

Kashathediva wrote:IMO, regardless of the real situation between them, and I think it’s more than a couple issues, the bottom line is he is not ready.  
So, if K is not able to deal with that then she needs to put on big girl panties and move on.
I know personally, I would never want to marry someone that wasn’t all in. Really what gal wants that?

ReneeM wrote:I just think regardless of your feelings towards Kait, I don't see how this situation is in any way her fault. Shawn's the one that changed. Kaitlyn's still as obsessively in love with him as she always was but he doesn't act the same with her that he used to (at least from what I've seen). He used to dote on her and was super romantic and would do little things all the time to make her feel special and again from what I've seen those things no longer happen. Shawn's the one who went on the show and made all these professions, including asking her to marry him. Kaitlyn's never made her desire to get married and have a family a secret and in terms of things Shawn's said, he used to be right there with her. Now it's years later, she's 33, and I think she just feels stuck. Their relationship isn't moving forward, in fact I think she's said she feels like they're moving backwards. She's not wrong to want more, because that's what he promised her. This doesn't make Shawn a bad guy but I think he's taken her for granted lately.

Also this speculation is happening on multiple different platforms and something I keep seeing is people throwing Shawn's burgeoning career (bc of his gym) in Kait's face as if he's moving forward and she's doing nothing with her life which I find completely unfair. She has TWO podcasts, her scrunchie line, last year she was travelling to Canada every week to do bachcan aftershows, & I saw somewhere that she has a wine brand coming out at some point, like she's got things going on too. Plus where would Shawn be without Kait. City Strong is kinda the launching point for his gym and Kait was a huge part of that. Shawn was not exactly a Peter Kraus after his season. He wasn't very popular or well liked, and he doesn't have a very outgoing personality. But Kait was there at all of his events, promoting with him, dj-ing, making the workouts fun, at one point she was the draw. He's obviously very hardworking but lets not forget the impact being Kait's F1 has had on his career.

All jmo.

Alanna wrote:@ReneeM perfectly said!!! Ugh girl you’re so awesome!!

bleuberry wrote:@ReneeM 10000%. It's like when a man finds success and 2 seconds later leaves the woman who was there all along after she helped make his dreams a reality. Kinda shiitty and I'm trying not to hate on Shawn but I'm annoyed .

umngirl wrote:Maybe they’ve both changed in ways that don’t make them as compatible as they once were. It takes 2 people to have a relationship and if they break they both will have some fault. JMO

Sprite wrote:

GuardianAngel wrote:I guess I'm in the minority. If after a year maybe two, and no wedding, it would be see ya. I wouldn't let it drag if it was that important to me, she has allowed it to brew to this point IMO. IDK He obviously has hesitations, I'd like to know why. One thing is for sure, I wouldn't be crying the blues on SM. I find that incredibly tacky IMHO.

Interesting conversations.

I'm with you @GuardianAngel. It's all very well blaming/shaming him, but meanwhile she is taking no responsibility for any of it. She is needy and wants constant attention. Hate to tell you toots, but you are not going to get that from anyone and if you think the romance three years on will be just as exciting as it was when you first met...You are seriously delusional!

When he proposed, they barely knew one another and I'm sure these last three years have been eye opening....for both of them. She probably realized that his fear of marriage may be stronger than she thought and he probably realized just how much constant reassurance she needs. I won't even get into the drinking.

I don't blame guys for stringing some women along. The women also need to take responsibility. If this is what you want, stand up for yourself and if he doesn't want the same move on. Yes, it is hard, but otherwise you are probably going to be wasting years on some dude that will never be what you need. I've seen strong women twist themselves into pretzels to become something they are not because they want some guy...and then they are shocked that it doesn't work out.

If Kaitlyn wants marriage that bad then tell him to sh*t or get off the pot and walk if he doesn't.  A friend of mine did that a several years ago. They were living together for a few years and she wanted to get married and he kept stalling. She got tired of going around in circles so she moved out. She was a crying mess. He was calling, but she refused to even talk to him since she thought she would crack and then the whole cycle would start again. Two weeks later, there he was with the ring. The got married a few months later.

GuardianAngel wrote:

lipsis wrote:IMO a man can't drag a woman along for any amount of time if the woman doesn't let herself be drugged (dragged?). You get my point.

That's what I was trying to say.

IA K has a lot going for her, she too has many projects on the go and I certainly give her credit for that. She has always supported him. Watching Ironman live, and her greeting him at the finish line brought tears to my eyes.

IMO if Shawn is acting different towards her, there is obviously a reason. Feeling's don't turn off overnight. Something has happened and I don't personally think it's the gym or any other work related project. That's the only reason my opinion is it has to do with K and maybe her pressure to get married.

Maybe a break would do them both a world of good.

ETA: @Sprite, I totally agree with you.

sosleepy wrote:I’m just now catching up. I’m with you girls... I feel for Kaitlyn here. This sucks. 

I’m simultaneously not surprised at all, cause I’ve seen it coming, but also very surprised that it seems to be unraveling so fast. I kinda thought they’d just hang in limbo for a few more years or something. But also, idk. To me, Kaitlyn still seems as obsessed with Shawn as ever, but Shawn doesn’t have the same sparkle or excitement about Kaitlyn like he used to have. Sigh. I am sorry to the fans if this truly is unraveling. That sucks. And this one has been a 3 year ride, not your typical few month Bachelor coupledom situation, so it sucks to get invested.