Bachelorette 14 - Becca Kufrin - Episode 4 - June 18th - *Sleuthing Spoilers*

The same way there was / is a pattern found in the various posts that Garrett researched, read and liked, and his explanation for it being “ mindless double tapping” , there is also a pattern of evading responsibility with the ending of his marriage with a nonchalant comment like “ one thing led to another, and we got divorced “ and then putting all the blame on his ex. It’s an attempt to minimize the negative impact of his actions and provide him with an escape from scrutiny or any consequences for his choices. It’s a known manipulative trait and it can be disguised or looked over because of an otherwise fun personality. This guy has demeanor that is quasi juvenile and not of a grown up, mature and articulate person.
I’ve looked and tried to find ANYTHING to change my mind and, sorry, but it got worse as he spoke and acted on his date with Becca.

Garrett and Becca's connection just clicked. We can all assume she'll be good with this guy or that guy, but at the end of the day we are not her. *edit* .Did anybody think about how his instagram drama suddenly appeared as focus point to distract the spoiler of him being the last man standing....I think TPB would do anything to cover up or deter fans focus point from their unfortunate leak. We should know how these people work by now.14 seasons later...Spoiler...leak....find another drama to deter fans minds away from focussing on the spoiler....so turn on the F1 even at the cost of their integrity....it comes with the cons of good tv and good publicity (to them at least).....look its sure got alot of various opinions. Just my say..Always good to see people laugh and smile and just enjoy each others company.

Astrobach wrote:The same way there was / is a pattern found in the various posts that Garrett researched, read and liked, and his explanation for it being “ mindless double tapping” , there is also a pattern of evading responsibility with the ending of his marriage with a nonchalant comment like “ one thing led to another, and we got divorced “ and then putting all the blame on his ex. It’s an attempt to minimize the negative impact of his actions and provide him with an escape from scrutiny or any consequences for his choices. It’s a known manipulative trait and it can be disguised or looked over because of an otherwise fun personality. This guy has demeanor that is quasi juvenile and not of a grown up, mature and articulate person.
I’ve looked and tried to find ANYTHING to change my mind and, sorry, but it got worse as he spoke and acted on his date with Becca.

Know harm/no foul.

I respect (hopefully) all posts so keep posting away. I really enjoy your astrology stuff and it is definitely welcome here. We all get caught up at times. Garrett, as sllly as he seems (IMO), sure has up worked up. He doesn't deserve the fights BECAUSE WE ARE BETTER THAN HIM. IMO.

I don’t consider myself better than anyone else...

...just saying...

posts have been edited and deleted.
This is a diiscussion thread.
This is NOT a thread where members try to shame other members for varying opinions.
Thank you.

I haven't got a clue what Becca sees in Garrett, he just seems so wired and borderline creepy to me. However, IF what he said about his ex-wife is true, then I feel that he was within his rights to say so and I can understand why he would. There's a difference between getting divorced after a few years and getting divorced after two months. Anyone would have massive concerns if their dating partner revealed they called it quits that fast. Two months is a blink of an eye really, and I definitely wouldn't date someone who gave up on commitment that quickly unless there was cheating or abuse involved. I'm sure this wasn't the first time Garrett had to explain himself and he even expressed feeling shame over the divorce, so he clearly knows how people view the situation. Becca seemed really shaken, so I don't think him down-playing his ex's actions and taking half of the blame would've helped her understand where he was coming from at all. It did seem like he tried to be vague and discreet at first but then Becca or the producers kept pushing for details. We didn't see the whole conversation so it's hard to say just how willingly he threw his ex under the bus. But in any case, I can understand why he did, because his main priority in that moment was to reassure Becca that he's not just some immature fickle guy who'll dump you as soon as things stop being perfect. Like, say, her most recent ex. I just hope what Garrett said is true, because those are some pretty strong accusations. JMOAA.

My thoughts on week 4:

The one-on-one with Wills -- he seems nice enough, but at this point Becca seems so sold on Garrett (with Blake and Colton in her back pocket) that her one-on-ones with other men ring hollow to me. She seems to be going through the motions with them. I'm trying to remember if the other leads seemed this disinterested in the other men at this point of the process, and I just don't know.

Jordan -- I've been enjoying Jordan's antics all along, but this was not his best week. Mean is not a good look on him, and running around in the gold lame undies felt forced. At this point he clearly feels like a producer's pick. Hopefully he will be back to his usual blustering self next week.

The first rose ceremony -- I really objected to Nick in a track suit. It felt disrespectful. The producers need to insist that the guys wear at least a suit.

Lincoln -- I just can't with a flat-earther. Send him home.

The lumberjack competition -- this was fun, although I was rather worried with so many sharp and heavy blades being flung about. Good on John for winning. Along with Clay, he is one of my two personal favorites this season. It was so nice to see more of him.

Jean Blanc -- Unlike Becca, I gave his profession of love a big shrug. This is my take -- Becca is a gorgeous woman. I was never as good looking as her, but even in my young prime I had several guys trailing after me like lovesick puppies (with no discernable reason as to why they should be acting that way, given my lack of interest in them.) You know what? You give them a metaphorical pat on the head and send them on to their next crush. In a case like this, worrying about a man's sincerity is not the issue. You have to trust your own instincts and your own lack of interest. IMO Becca would have been best served by just sending him home without a second thought. She had to have known there was no way what he said was real (and IMO the reason he said it hardly matters.) Her emotionality tells me that that her feelings about what Arie did to her were not fully resolved before she started her own season.

Garrett -- Regardless of my own feelings toward Garrett, IMO Becca is her best, most natural self with him. She is clearly over the moon about him. I enjoyed their Park City date. I loved seeing the Torino "donut" medals around the necks of the two bobsledders.

Garrett's prior marriage -- this seems to be developing into a he said/she said type of situation with his first wife. If I were in Becca's shoes I would be very mistrustful of a man who wanted to exit a marriage after only two short months. In fact, this would likely be a disqualifier for me. How did he and his first wife find themselves in a situation where they didn't know each other well enough going into a marriage? That is my question.

At this point, I find the information coming from his ex's camp at least as believable as what he is saying (if not more so.) One thing in particular rang true to me -- that his ex's family reportedly felt used after having laid out so much money for the wedding. Let's say that the wedding was a modest one and her family laid out somewhere between $6,000 and $10,000 (some families lay out far, far more than that.) Two months later he is finished, and he (reportedly) wants "half." Yes, he is legally entitled to his share of the accrued marital assets, BUT his demand for "half" is going to come across as tone-deaf to a family which has just paid thousands of dollars for a wedding. Did he demand to pay half of the wedding bills as well? I'm guessing not.

And where have we seen Garrett being tone-deaf before? Instagram.

So IMO be wary, Becca. Be very, very wary.

A reminder that all this “insider” info we have on the wedding/divorce is from “a friend of the ex wife” from the least reputable rag mag imaginable, Life & Style. If my friends ever rag on my former marriage to Life & Style, they are clearly not my friends.

nananana wrote:A reminder that all this “insider” info we have on the wedding/divorce is from “a friend of the ex wife” from the least reputable rag mag imaginable, Life & Style. If my friends ever rag on my former marriage to Life & Style, they are clearly not my friends.

I'd be more mindful of your reminder if I hadn't seen all the crap Garrett was double clicking on. IMO, where there's smoke, there's fire.

nananana wrote:A reminder that all this “insider” info we have on the wedding/divorce is from “a friend of the ex wife” from the least reputable rag mag imaginable, Life & Style. If my friends ever rag on my former marriage to Life & Style, they are clearly not my friends.

Good point@nananana ". I never listen to or read these articles that claim "a source" . Anyone can make up anything and attach that to it and not even have "a source" and if they do not a honest one. I too consider these "rag mags".  I am probably the only one old enough to remember this but when I was young there was a game we would play called "telephone". Someone would start a statement that would then be whispered into the ear of the person next to them. This would continue down a line of people. At the end they would see what the original statement had become. We would all usually end up laughing because it was nothing like the original statement. My point is rumors can get way out of hand and ruin the reputations of people -which is not what I believe any of us really want to do. IMO

^^^ These are all very good points above. But they are not mutually exclusive. Garrett could've been emotionally abused, he could've "checked-out" immediately after the wedding, and his ex-wife's family could've felt used for paying for a wedding. It is all in the eyes of the beholder.

The facts we do know are that Garret was married. They separated after two months, she remarried relatively shortly thereafter (apologies, don't know the exact timeframe), and Garrett is now on The Bachelorette. Everything else is all he said/she said.

This is the part I always hate -- sharing of stories of people not on the show. I guess I don't mind as much if those being referenced are deceased, but when the living individual didn't sign up for the show and their personal experiences (through the lens of another) get shared on national tv, it makes me cringe. And it is so very unfair to the person not on TV. Ugh!

I am willing to admit that I am speculating based on some very sketchy information coming from his ex-wife's camp. However I think this is just the opening salvo and more information from better sources will be forthcoming. What I will say is that I am not willing to take just Garrett's side of things. There are two sides to this story, and I want to hear the other side.

What I think *has* been established (at least to me) by public Instagram likes is that Garrett is tone-deaf. Here is the Merriam-Webster definition of that meaning of "tone-deaf" -- "having or showing an obtuse insensitivity or lack of perception particularly in matters of public sentiment, opinion, or taste".
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tone-deaf

So it wouldn't come as a shock to me if that quality happens to pop up elsewhere in his life.